Author: greatunironic
Rated: PG-ish
Disclaimer: Nope.
Feedback: Glow me, baby!
Summary: Trip and Malcolm talk about death.
Etc.: A semi-prequel to 'Shooting to Kill'. It was mainly written to be read alone, but can be read as part of the 'Tuesday's Children' saga.
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"Yew ever think 'bout death?"
It's the middle of the night and they're in the mess hall. They lie on their backs on tables that they pulled up next to each other so they could lie head to head. No one ever comes to the mess hall at that time of night so they know no one will catch them. It's become kind of a ritual for them; to wake up in the middle of the night and be so in tune with the other that they know intuitively that they're awake too and go down to the mess and pull the tables together and just sit.
Malcolm rolls his head back slightly so he can look at Trip. "Hey, I thought I was the pessimistic one around here. You know, the regular prophet of doom and destruction aboard the ship."
Trip scoffs, still lying back and not looking at Malcolm. "Yeah, yeah, ya're. I'm not tryin' to still your title, or nothin'. Jus' answer the question."
The Englishman lies his head back down and stares at the ceiling. He thinks seriously about the question because he knows Trip will never give it up if he doesn't answer truthfully. The man was like a dog with a juicy bone. It was almost sad... "Sometimes," Malcolm answers after a while. "Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I'll think about it. Why?"
"I dunno," Trip says softly. "It's jus'...out here...yew really gotta wonder if we're going to make it outta here alive."
"I'm not," Malcolm responds immediately. Trip sits up at this and stares down at Malcolm, slightly frightened. After losing Lizzie, he didn't like it when his friends spoke like they were just going to kill themselves any minute. Malcolm looks at Trip and sighs. "Think about it, Mr. Tucker. I am the Security Officer on Enterprise. I am the Armoury as well. There are so many unknown things out here; it's only logical that I be the one to go out first to protect and defend, that I go out on every mission to make sure there aren't any threats. And one day, I won't be coming back."
"Yew'll come back," Trip says, not entirely believing himself as he says the words. "Yew have to."
"Trip," Malcolm begins. He knows why Trip is saying this. Trip doesn't want to lose anyone else, not after losing Lizzie. "You are going to have to let me go when I die. Be it tomorrow, next week, next year, or when we're old and gray; you will have to let go. I'm not going to be around forever."
"I know," Trip says reluctantly. "I know that yew ain't gonna be here forever. But I've jus' gotten into the shell of Malcolm Reed and he's become a good friend of mine and I ain't ready to let go jus' yet."
He sits up now and stares at Trip. They have become close, they have become good friends, and to tell the truth, Malcolm really isn't all that ready to let go either. But he knows someday they will have to. "You are going to have to someday, Trip," Malcolm says, voicing his thoughts.
"I jus' don't want it to be tomorrow," Trip tells him.
"That's why you've brought this up, isn't it?" Malcolm knows intuitively, just how he knows Trip will be awake and just how Trip knows Malcolm will be awake, that death and Lizzie isn't what's consuming Trip's mind. It's tomorrow's mission where it will be just T'Pol and Malcolm going down to the planet.
"I've got a bad feelin'," Trip admits. "Somethin' tells me that someone's gonna get hurt tomorrow."
"Don't worry, Trip," Malcolm says, not being able to help the small smile he has growing. "I am a big boy; I can look after myself."
"Tell that to the cap'n," Trip says darkly, but with a smile. "He's on 'Malcolm Wound Alert'."
Malcolm looks exasperated. "I know. I swear, the man thinks that if I bump my shin I'll end up bleeding internally and die."
"Yeah, I'm waitin' for the order of puttin' mattresses all 'long the Bridge." Trip pauses, enjoying the banter before his thoughts turn dark. "Jus'...be careful tomorrow okay? I don' wanna beam up your dead body, or nothin'."
"I'll be careful; Scout's honor."
They lie back down on their respective tables and watch the ceiling. In a few hours, they'll get up, put the tables away, get themselves some early breakfasts, eat, and then go to work. Malcolm will go down to the planet and Trip will be working in Engineering where he'll be praying that nothing happens down on the planet.
He's just not ready to let anyone else go just yet.