Chapter 12: Taking the right road
It had been 3 weeks since Susan and Mark had seen each other. Both were miserable, but Susan had begun to be optimistic again. She wanted to get better because she wanted to be back with Mark. She loved him and didn't want to give up on what they had.
Meanwhile, across town Mark was working all the hours' god could send, just to stop him thinking of Susan. His heart hurt, it was aching worse than ever before. Even when they hadn't been dating Mark and Susan had seen each other virtually every day.
He just wanted her to call, tell him that she was better, that she wanted things to work out. But she hadn't. Every time Mark returned home, he longed to see the answer machine flashing, it never did.
Slowly Mark started to accept the fact that Susan didn't want him in her life any more. He would get home and cry a little. Cry for her mostly, he had no idea what she was doing or how she was coping. When they last spoke she had promised to get help, if she did, she didn't get it form the psychiatrist at County.
Little did Mark know, Susan was getting help. She had been going to therapy three times a week for three weeks.
Today Susan told her therapist about Mark. How she'd hurt him so badly, but didn't know what to do to get him back. Dr Bradley had suggested that she call him. That he probably missed her just as much as she missed him. After the session Susan decided that's what she would do. She was almost herself again, she no longer felt guilty about smiling or laughing, and she wanted to share her laughter with Mark.
When she got in she called Mark, he was obviously at work as his machine clicked on.
"Hi this is Mark Greene, I'm not in, so I guess I'm at work. Leave a message"
Susan left a message and waited impatiently for the phone to ring. Nothing. Susan waited for 4 hours and the phone didn't ring once.
Suddenly came the familiar tone of the phone ringing. It was Carter. He sounded upset.
"Hey Carter what's up?" Susan asked
"Um Susan you should know that Mark was brought in earlier" Carter said quietly "He was involved in a horrific accident. We tried our best.." Carter tailed off into an inaudible mumble.
Susan's body was wracked with sobs. She hadn't even had a chance to reconcile things with Mark, tell him that she loved him one more time.
"I'll be right there" Susan said hurriedly
Just then she woke up. Susan sighed with relief, it had just been a dream. It made her realise she still needed some therapy, but she also knew the hardest part was over.
She looked over to the machine. It was flashing. The ringing in her dream must have been real. She pressed play and through the answer machine speaker came that familiar voice.
"Hi Susan, it's Mark. I agree we need to talk. I'm glad you're getting some help. You kept your word. I'll come over when I'm finished, about 9pm. Call me if it's inconvenient."
Susan replayed the message again just to check it was real. Then she looked at the clock.
"Oh god, its quarter to nine." Susan thought
She went round tidying her apartment; she was so excited that Mark was coming over. It was her chance to show him how far she'd come. She'd even started to eat a little. Not much though, just a piece or two of fruit each day, but at least it was a start.
Bang on nine o'clock there was a knock on the door. Susan took a deep breath and opened the door, to find Mark standing there. He smiled a little and she gestured for him to come in.
"Sit down" Susan said as Mark entered the living room.
It felt good to be back here. He had missed this apartment and Susan so much. All those old smells of her came back. From the shower gel she used to use to the smell of her perfume.
Susan came and sat next to Mark on the couch.
"So how are you?" Mark asked
"Oh Mark I'm so much better. I've been seeing a therapist three times a week for the past three weeks. When you said it was over, something inside me clicked. I was devastated when I realised I'd lost you. I cried for ages, and then I knew that was no good. Crying wouldn't do me any favours, the only way I was going to get any where near getting you back was to get help. And I have. I can laugh at jokes again, smile at photos instead of cry, and I'm eating a little. It's not much but I'm trying. I really am. The only thing I need now is you. That's all I've ever needed." Susan said
Mark reached out and touched Susan's hand.
"I'm so proud of you. These past few weeks have been hell. I've been at work almost all day and night, it was the only thing that helped me to stop thinking about you. But even that didn't work. I was scared to think of what you might be doing to yourself, but I just didn't know what to do. Then when you called and said you were getting better I couldn't have been happier. I just wanted all the patients to disappear so I could see you." Mark said as he leant over to kiss Susan
As their lips touched they both knew they were taking the right road. Susan's train was back on its tracks.
As they pulled apart Susan smiled. Mark had really missed that smile, and so had Susan for a matter of fact.
Susan got up and extended a hand out to Mark. He slowly stood up from the couch and took Susan in his arms. They began to kiss passionately. They had both waited so long for this to happen again.
"So I guess this means that we're back together?" Susan asked
"Oh definitely. Now where was it you were taking me Doctor Lewis? " Mark replied
"Well I thought we'd start in the bedroom" Susan answered
"Start?" Mark asked
"Well the first time went on for quite a while as I recall" Susan replied with a grin. She was feeling so much better, and it was Mark that was making her feel that way.
Susan and Mark shared a night like the first one they had spent together as a couple. Mark was gentle, but Susan was all over him, she was in no mood to take this reconciliation slowly. It was as if she had rebuilt herself, put all the building blocks back in the right order.
This relationship was too strong to break and although they had been apart for almost a month, all those feelings were still there. The passion, love, commitment and most importantly the need of each of them for the other.
Later that night Susan turned to Mark. He had a big smile on his face.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Susan asked
"Well it was meant to be my day off, but I signed up for some extra shifts" Mark replied
"Oh, ok. Never mind" Susan answered
"But I could always cancel them, after all it is meant to be my day off." Mark replied
"That would be nice, because I was thinking; we could go and look for apartments, houses maybe. Although I do like living on one level" Susan said
"Yeah me too, houses can be complicated" Mark laughed
Mark and Susan spent that night talking and in a way it had been better therapy than what Susan had paid hundreds of dollars for. It was probably because Mark was such a good listener, it didn't seem like he was clock watching. Even though Susan liked her therapist she knew that she was just another patient with problems that the doctor was there to help relieve.
The next day Susan and Mark felt like a proper couple again, they looked at several apartments and two houses.
They decided they didn't want to be so close to County as each of them were at the moment. Being further away meant that they were less likely to get called in on a whim.
They also discussed Susan coming back to work. They agreed Susan would come back in a month's time. Susan was going to visit her Mother, to try and mend their relationship too.
Susan hadn't spoken to her Mother for almost two months, and deep down Susan needed to air her demons. This would be the last stage to her recovery. She would talk to her Mom about the funeral, the service, the flowers and what people had to say about Chloe. She wanted to visit her grave and say her final goodbyes.
She was also going to spend a week with Joe and Suzie. She had missed them immensely. Mark was fine with it all, he would be working any way, and they agreed to spend at least an hour on the phone to each other. They had some valuable relationship time to make up on.
As they came to the last apartment, Mark and Susan both gasped as they saw the space it offered. It just seemed so perfect. It had three bedrooms and lovely big living room and a huge kitchen. But the bit they loved most was the incredibly beautiful bathroom. It had a gigantic bath tub and a shower unit too. One that both of them could fit in.
Susan turned to Mark
"Mark what do you think?" Susan asked
"I think it's great. What about you?" Mark replied
"I think we should put an offer in." Susan answered.
"Well the estate agent is outside, lets go and talk to him" Mark said
Mark and Susan went to talk to the estate agent, and were pleased to fins that no-one else had put an offer in and the seller was glad to accept Mark and Susan's as it was already so close to the asking price.
Susan was so happy. Mark scooped her up in his arms and spun her round. She was laughing, really laughing.
A couple of days later, Mark saw Susan leave for her Mom's house. She would be gone almost a month, and Mark would visit if he could. But this time he didn't mind the fact she was going away. He had a good feeling that Susan would come back and she would be back to her old self. She was so close, now all she needed was the closure of saying goodbye.
As the days and weeks went by Susan got better and better. She had spent two hours ay Chloe's grave yesterday and had finally said her piece. She felt at peace with Chloe's death and had really enjoyed seeing little Suzie. She was speaking to her Mother again and everything was going well.
Mark had managed to visit Susan only twice but it was enough. And besides she was coming home today. Then it would be back to work the next day.
Strangely Susan was excited. She couldn't wait to get the last normal thing in her life going again. She was no longer bitter and relished the challenges that work would bring again. She had been away for almost two months, now was the right time for her return.
Mark picked Susan up from the station.
"So are you ready for work tomorrow? I checked the schedule and you're on with me. Bright and early at 6am! Oh and next week, we move in." Mark said
"Ooh fun, I can't wait." Susan said excitedly "We on a 9 or 12 hour?" Susan asked
"Ah the dreaded 12 hour. Should be a good time" Mark replied
That evening Mark and Susan just spent a quiet night in. Mark had a little present for Susan. It was a new lab coat with lovely stitching in Susan's favourite colour- blue. It simply said Dr Susan Lewis M.D
Susan tried it on for size and although it was a little on the big side, Susan knew it would fit, once she regained her weight.
She was still vomiting after eating some foods. It would still take a while for her insides to get better from all the bile that Susan was bringing up every time she vomited.
At 5.30am Mark and Susan made their way to County. They decided to walk as it was such a nice morning, even though it was still cold. Susan looked so cute all wrapped up in her scarf and hat. She still looked a little ill physically, but at least the mental side of things had been taken care of.
As they walked through the doors of County, they were met by rapturous applause and a banner that read
WELCOME BACK SUSAN! WE'VE MISSED YOU!
Susan laughed even though she was slightly embarrassed.
"I guess this was your doing?" Susan asked Mark
"Well yeah, they'd all been bugging me for so long, I decided to tell them they could celebrate your coming back in style" Mark answered
"And boy have we gone all out" Carter shouted.
Susan was hugged by every member of staff. She had really missed this place. She had even missed Kerry. Well sort of.
Susan's shift went quickly, she dealt with mostly minor patients but assisted on a couple of trauma's as well. She was really getting back into the swing of things.
Then suddenly just two hours from the end of her shift Susan realised she had a pounding headache and really didn't feel too good. The next thing she knew, she was falling to the ground behind the admin desk.
Carter saw what was happening and caught Susan just in time.
"Grab a gurney" Carter yelled
"Oh god" Mark shouted, his voice racked with worry. " I knew she hadn't been eating properly. I think she's bulimic Carter. She eats so little and when she does she'll go to the bathroom and vomit, I can hear her doing it."
"I'm going to scan her belly, she might have done some serious damage" Carter replied back to Mark
"Woah!" Carter exclaimed
"What is it?" Mark asked
"Um Mark, I don't think Susan is bulimic. Errr more like pregnant" Carter answered
"What?" Mark was almost in shock
"Yup, about 4-6 weeks by my reckoning" Carter answered "She's just dehydrated, she'll be fine"
Mark held Susan's hand as she began to come round.
"Hey sweetie, guess what?" Mark said
"What?" Susan replied.
"We're pregnant. You're about four to six weeks gone. You passed out because you were dehydrated. You've got to start eating and drinking more, ok?" Mark said firmly but nicely
"Ok, I promise" Susan said with delight.
She was so happy to be pregnant with Mark's baby. This was it, new apartment, new baby, new life.
It had been 3 weeks since Susan and Mark had seen each other. Both were miserable, but Susan had begun to be optimistic again. She wanted to get better because she wanted to be back with Mark. She loved him and didn't want to give up on what they had.
Meanwhile, across town Mark was working all the hours' god could send, just to stop him thinking of Susan. His heart hurt, it was aching worse than ever before. Even when they hadn't been dating Mark and Susan had seen each other virtually every day.
He just wanted her to call, tell him that she was better, that she wanted things to work out. But she hadn't. Every time Mark returned home, he longed to see the answer machine flashing, it never did.
Slowly Mark started to accept the fact that Susan didn't want him in her life any more. He would get home and cry a little. Cry for her mostly, he had no idea what she was doing or how she was coping. When they last spoke she had promised to get help, if she did, she didn't get it form the psychiatrist at County.
Little did Mark know, Susan was getting help. She had been going to therapy three times a week for three weeks.
Today Susan told her therapist about Mark. How she'd hurt him so badly, but didn't know what to do to get him back. Dr Bradley had suggested that she call him. That he probably missed her just as much as she missed him. After the session Susan decided that's what she would do. She was almost herself again, she no longer felt guilty about smiling or laughing, and she wanted to share her laughter with Mark.
When she got in she called Mark, he was obviously at work as his machine clicked on.
"Hi this is Mark Greene, I'm not in, so I guess I'm at work. Leave a message"
Susan left a message and waited impatiently for the phone to ring. Nothing. Susan waited for 4 hours and the phone didn't ring once.
Suddenly came the familiar tone of the phone ringing. It was Carter. He sounded upset.
"Hey Carter what's up?" Susan asked
"Um Susan you should know that Mark was brought in earlier" Carter said quietly "He was involved in a horrific accident. We tried our best.." Carter tailed off into an inaudible mumble.
Susan's body was wracked with sobs. She hadn't even had a chance to reconcile things with Mark, tell him that she loved him one more time.
"I'll be right there" Susan said hurriedly
Just then she woke up. Susan sighed with relief, it had just been a dream. It made her realise she still needed some therapy, but she also knew the hardest part was over.
She looked over to the machine. It was flashing. The ringing in her dream must have been real. She pressed play and through the answer machine speaker came that familiar voice.
"Hi Susan, it's Mark. I agree we need to talk. I'm glad you're getting some help. You kept your word. I'll come over when I'm finished, about 9pm. Call me if it's inconvenient."
Susan replayed the message again just to check it was real. Then she looked at the clock.
"Oh god, its quarter to nine." Susan thought
She went round tidying her apartment; she was so excited that Mark was coming over. It was her chance to show him how far she'd come. She'd even started to eat a little. Not much though, just a piece or two of fruit each day, but at least it was a start.
Bang on nine o'clock there was a knock on the door. Susan took a deep breath and opened the door, to find Mark standing there. He smiled a little and she gestured for him to come in.
"Sit down" Susan said as Mark entered the living room.
It felt good to be back here. He had missed this apartment and Susan so much. All those old smells of her came back. From the shower gel she used to use to the smell of her perfume.
Susan came and sat next to Mark on the couch.
"So how are you?" Mark asked
"Oh Mark I'm so much better. I've been seeing a therapist three times a week for the past three weeks. When you said it was over, something inside me clicked. I was devastated when I realised I'd lost you. I cried for ages, and then I knew that was no good. Crying wouldn't do me any favours, the only way I was going to get any where near getting you back was to get help. And I have. I can laugh at jokes again, smile at photos instead of cry, and I'm eating a little. It's not much but I'm trying. I really am. The only thing I need now is you. That's all I've ever needed." Susan said
Mark reached out and touched Susan's hand.
"I'm so proud of you. These past few weeks have been hell. I've been at work almost all day and night, it was the only thing that helped me to stop thinking about you. But even that didn't work. I was scared to think of what you might be doing to yourself, but I just didn't know what to do. Then when you called and said you were getting better I couldn't have been happier. I just wanted all the patients to disappear so I could see you." Mark said as he leant over to kiss Susan
As their lips touched they both knew they were taking the right road. Susan's train was back on its tracks.
As they pulled apart Susan smiled. Mark had really missed that smile, and so had Susan for a matter of fact.
Susan got up and extended a hand out to Mark. He slowly stood up from the couch and took Susan in his arms. They began to kiss passionately. They had both waited so long for this to happen again.
"So I guess this means that we're back together?" Susan asked
"Oh definitely. Now where was it you were taking me Doctor Lewis? " Mark replied
"Well I thought we'd start in the bedroom" Susan answered
"Start?" Mark asked
"Well the first time went on for quite a while as I recall" Susan replied with a grin. She was feeling so much better, and it was Mark that was making her feel that way.
Susan and Mark shared a night like the first one they had spent together as a couple. Mark was gentle, but Susan was all over him, she was in no mood to take this reconciliation slowly. It was as if she had rebuilt herself, put all the building blocks back in the right order.
This relationship was too strong to break and although they had been apart for almost a month, all those feelings were still there. The passion, love, commitment and most importantly the need of each of them for the other.
Later that night Susan turned to Mark. He had a big smile on his face.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Susan asked
"Well it was meant to be my day off, but I signed up for some extra shifts" Mark replied
"Oh, ok. Never mind" Susan answered
"But I could always cancel them, after all it is meant to be my day off." Mark replied
"That would be nice, because I was thinking; we could go and look for apartments, houses maybe. Although I do like living on one level" Susan said
"Yeah me too, houses can be complicated" Mark laughed
Mark and Susan spent that night talking and in a way it had been better therapy than what Susan had paid hundreds of dollars for. It was probably because Mark was such a good listener, it didn't seem like he was clock watching. Even though Susan liked her therapist she knew that she was just another patient with problems that the doctor was there to help relieve.
The next day Susan and Mark felt like a proper couple again, they looked at several apartments and two houses.
They decided they didn't want to be so close to County as each of them were at the moment. Being further away meant that they were less likely to get called in on a whim.
They also discussed Susan coming back to work. They agreed Susan would come back in a month's time. Susan was going to visit her Mother, to try and mend their relationship too.
Susan hadn't spoken to her Mother for almost two months, and deep down Susan needed to air her demons. This would be the last stage to her recovery. She would talk to her Mom about the funeral, the service, the flowers and what people had to say about Chloe. She wanted to visit her grave and say her final goodbyes.
She was also going to spend a week with Joe and Suzie. She had missed them immensely. Mark was fine with it all, he would be working any way, and they agreed to spend at least an hour on the phone to each other. They had some valuable relationship time to make up on.
As they came to the last apartment, Mark and Susan both gasped as they saw the space it offered. It just seemed so perfect. It had three bedrooms and lovely big living room and a huge kitchen. But the bit they loved most was the incredibly beautiful bathroom. It had a gigantic bath tub and a shower unit too. One that both of them could fit in.
Susan turned to Mark
"Mark what do you think?" Susan asked
"I think it's great. What about you?" Mark replied
"I think we should put an offer in." Susan answered.
"Well the estate agent is outside, lets go and talk to him" Mark said
Mark and Susan went to talk to the estate agent, and were pleased to fins that no-one else had put an offer in and the seller was glad to accept Mark and Susan's as it was already so close to the asking price.
Susan was so happy. Mark scooped her up in his arms and spun her round. She was laughing, really laughing.
A couple of days later, Mark saw Susan leave for her Mom's house. She would be gone almost a month, and Mark would visit if he could. But this time he didn't mind the fact she was going away. He had a good feeling that Susan would come back and she would be back to her old self. She was so close, now all she needed was the closure of saying goodbye.
As the days and weeks went by Susan got better and better. She had spent two hours ay Chloe's grave yesterday and had finally said her piece. She felt at peace with Chloe's death and had really enjoyed seeing little Suzie. She was speaking to her Mother again and everything was going well.
Mark had managed to visit Susan only twice but it was enough. And besides she was coming home today. Then it would be back to work the next day.
Strangely Susan was excited. She couldn't wait to get the last normal thing in her life going again. She was no longer bitter and relished the challenges that work would bring again. She had been away for almost two months, now was the right time for her return.
Mark picked Susan up from the station.
"So are you ready for work tomorrow? I checked the schedule and you're on with me. Bright and early at 6am! Oh and next week, we move in." Mark said
"Ooh fun, I can't wait." Susan said excitedly "We on a 9 or 12 hour?" Susan asked
"Ah the dreaded 12 hour. Should be a good time" Mark replied
That evening Mark and Susan just spent a quiet night in. Mark had a little present for Susan. It was a new lab coat with lovely stitching in Susan's favourite colour- blue. It simply said Dr Susan Lewis M.D
Susan tried it on for size and although it was a little on the big side, Susan knew it would fit, once she regained her weight.
She was still vomiting after eating some foods. It would still take a while for her insides to get better from all the bile that Susan was bringing up every time she vomited.
At 5.30am Mark and Susan made their way to County. They decided to walk as it was such a nice morning, even though it was still cold. Susan looked so cute all wrapped up in her scarf and hat. She still looked a little ill physically, but at least the mental side of things had been taken care of.
As they walked through the doors of County, they were met by rapturous applause and a banner that read
WELCOME BACK SUSAN! WE'VE MISSED YOU!
Susan laughed even though she was slightly embarrassed.
"I guess this was your doing?" Susan asked Mark
"Well yeah, they'd all been bugging me for so long, I decided to tell them they could celebrate your coming back in style" Mark answered
"And boy have we gone all out" Carter shouted.
Susan was hugged by every member of staff. She had really missed this place. She had even missed Kerry. Well sort of.
Susan's shift went quickly, she dealt with mostly minor patients but assisted on a couple of trauma's as well. She was really getting back into the swing of things.
Then suddenly just two hours from the end of her shift Susan realised she had a pounding headache and really didn't feel too good. The next thing she knew, she was falling to the ground behind the admin desk.
Carter saw what was happening and caught Susan just in time.
"Grab a gurney" Carter yelled
"Oh god" Mark shouted, his voice racked with worry. " I knew she hadn't been eating properly. I think she's bulimic Carter. She eats so little and when she does she'll go to the bathroom and vomit, I can hear her doing it."
"I'm going to scan her belly, she might have done some serious damage" Carter replied back to Mark
"Woah!" Carter exclaimed
"What is it?" Mark asked
"Um Mark, I don't think Susan is bulimic. Errr more like pregnant" Carter answered
"What?" Mark was almost in shock
"Yup, about 4-6 weeks by my reckoning" Carter answered "She's just dehydrated, she'll be fine"
Mark held Susan's hand as she began to come round.
"Hey sweetie, guess what?" Mark said
"What?" Susan replied.
"We're pregnant. You're about four to six weeks gone. You passed out because you were dehydrated. You've got to start eating and drinking more, ok?" Mark said firmly but nicely
"Ok, I promise" Susan said with delight.
She was so happy to be pregnant with Mark's baby. This was it, new apartment, new baby, new life.