(A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been having family problems and other such nasty things. I'll try to update more often. Oh, and that anonymous Tiffany person who wrote the comment "Forget it people. She aint gonna update anymore"- Keep those kind of comments to yourself; it was not a review about the story but a review about ME. And you don't know me and you cannot read my mind. For the rest of you patient people, ENJOY! ;) )
Chapter 4
Hermione woke up for the funeral on Thursday rather early. She went down to the Great Hall to have some breakfast and wait for Harry on Ron. They were to go to Professor Dumbledore's office at about 8 in the morning to get a portkey to the mortuary. She figured it had to be about 6 right now, so she poured herself some coffee and sat back, watching her fellow early bird peers get in some last minute studying. Hermione spotted Draco Malfoy, who turned out to be very studious indeed. He was flipping through his Defense Against the Dark Arts book and jotting down notes on a piece of parchment. She hated to admit it, but he had turned very handsome during the summer and the girls were all over him- but would they feel the same if they knew that under those school robes and loose fitting gangster pants he wore thongs with little hearts on them because they made him feel "special"? That was something to think about. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced at the entrance to the hall. Hermione was rather surprised to see Parvati walk in, stretching and yawning in an arrogant fashion, as though she was the queen of the world. She spotted Hermione and walked over, taking a seat across from her and smoothing her hair with her hands.
"Hello, Hermione," said Parvati, giving her a classic up-to-no-good smile.
"What do you want, Parvati?" said Hermione, who was not in the mood for her bullshit this morning.
"Oh nothing, I was just strolling around the castle. I couldn't sleep last night."
"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for Lavender's funeral?" asked Hermione, disinterested.
"I'm not going. My parents thought it would be better for me to stay," said Parvati, tensing up a bit.
"Some friend you are. You weren't even there when she was sick. You just went to hang out with your other friends," Hermione said rather rudely, but she rather enjoyed spitting the truth in people's faces.
"Is there a conspiracy against me or something? Everyone's been treating me like shit since yesterday," she said, offended.
"That's purely your fault. If you act like shit, people are going to treat you like shit. It's a simple rule to learn, really."
"I wouldn't be talking about who's shit if I were you, Hermione Granger," said Parvati, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms lightly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione, setting her cup down.
"You're betraying Ginny. She's your best friend and you know how much she loves Harry and you go and become his girlfriend. So who's shit now? You or me?" she said in a self-aggrandizing way.
"Where did you found out about me and Harry?"
"Ron told me," Parvati said.
"And you went and told Ginny, I suppose."
"No, I barely heard this last night. However, I DID tell Ginny that Harry told you he loved you. I overheard him telling the story to Ron in Divination and thought Ginny should know."
"Why don't you mind your own fucking business and stop making trouble?" said Hermione, standing up.
"I'm not making trouble, I'm defending my friend," retorted Parvati.
"She's not your friend, she was never your friend, and she's never going to BE your friend because you're a lying self-absorbed bitch," said Hermione through gritted teeth.
"And you're a know-it-all bookworm slut!" yelled Parvati, standing up to face her. Hermione picked up the pumpkin juice jug and threw it at Parvati, drenching her. Parvati, taken aback by surprise, tripped over the bench she was sitting on and fell.
"Cat fight!!!" yelled Draco from across the Great Hall. Everyone had stopped to look at them with wide eyes.
"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy!" yelled Hermione, rounding on him furiously.
"You want to say that to my face?" said Draco, walking over to stand in front of her.
"I said 'Shut the fuck up'. You want me to spell it out for you, idiot?" said Hermione, shocked at herself and at her language and attitude.
"Filthy mudblood," said Draco, pulling out his wand and pointing it at her. Hermione took hers out and pointed it at him.
"You don't have the guts to put a spell on me, Malfoy!" challenged Hermione, pushing her hair out of her face.
"No one is going to put a spell on anyone, Ms. Granger," said Professor McGonagall from behind Hermione. She dropped her wand to her side and turned to face her professor.
"I'm so sorry Professor," said Hermione, but McGonagall ignored her. She had a disappointed look on her face.
"I would have expected better behavior from you, Ms. Granger. I am ashamed of you. As for you, Mr. Malfoy, you know better than to call anyone a mudblood."
"Sorry, Professor. It won't happen again," said Draco, who had also lowered his wand.
"Twenty points shall be deducted from each of you, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger. And I'll see you in detention on Wednesday in my classroom," said Professor McGonagall sternly. She turned around and left without saying another word. Hermione glared at Malfoy for a moment and then stalked out of the Great Hall to find Harry and Ron.
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"Are you ready yet, Ron?" asked Harry, sitting by the window waiting for Ron, who was in the bathroom getting dressed.
"Wait a second, will you?" yelled Ron.
"I've been waiting for fifteen minutes. How long does it take you to put on pants and a shirt?" protested Harry, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. The door to the bathroom swung open and Ron walked out, looking a bit peeved.
"Ok, I'm ready, lets go look for Hermione," said Ron, rushing out of the dormitory. Harry scrambled up and followed him. They walked in silence out the portrait hole and towards the Great Hall. They spotted Hermione going the opposite direction and she would have passed right by without noticing them if Harry had not grabbed her arm.
"Whoa, where are you going?" asked Harry, and noticed that Hermione's eyes were red and blotchy, as though she had been crying.
"What's wrong?" asked Ron immediately.
"Parvati insulted me and I threw pumpkin juice at her and then Malfoy insulted me and I got detention!" said Hermione, bursting out crying.
"PMS is a horrible thing," said Harry, shaking his head.
"It's not PMS. I'm just having a rough morning," said Hermione, calming down a bit. Harry was rubbing her back lightly and Ron was just standing there, a far off look in his eyes.
"We better get going before we're late," said Harry, and nudged Ron out of his stupor. Ron nodded his head and Harry led the way to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle stood at the entrance, as always.
"Sugar Quill," said Harry, and the gargoyle opened to reveal the revolving staircase. They stepped onto it and it took them up to Dumbledore's over-decorated office. The portraits on the walls were sound asleep and the sorting hat lay on the topmost bookshelf, as always. Harry remembered the last time he had been in the office. He didn't like to think about it much, because it was when Sirius had been killed. As always, Professor Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, hands folded in front of him.
"Good morning Professor," said Harry, nodding courtly.
"Well it's about time," said Dumbledore, standing up and walking to a rather large metal cabinet. He popped open a couple of drawers and took out a small box. Before he gave it to them, though, he looked and Ron as though examining him and making sure he was okay. Hermione didn't blame him, he looked horrible. Not horribly dressed, but emotionally worn out in a horrible way.
"Mr. Weasley, how are you today?" inquired Dumbledore, handing Harry the small box but not taking his eyes off Ron.
"I'm okay, thanks," Ron said, but it was obvious he was lying. The two dark half moons under his eyes made him look as if he had had a fight.
"It's good to hear that," said Dumbledore, a hint of disbelief in his voice. He continued staring at Ron for a couple more seconds and then turned to Harry. It seemed as though he had been reading Ron's thoughts and it gave Hermione the creeps.
"Now here is what you are to do," said Dumbledore after a few moments. He walked back to his desk and sat down. "You are to take this portkey to the mortuary. I have arranged for you to arrive at a place where you will not be seen. At six in the afternoon you are to go to Kings Cross Station and take the train back to school. You will arrive at about ten at night. I trust you will stick to your schedule and that you will make up the work you are going to be missing."
"But I don't have any-" started Ron.
"The tickets to Kings Cross Station are in the box," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "Now will you please step outside for a second, Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger? I want to have a word with Mr. Potter before you depart."
"Sure Professor," said Hermione, grabbing Ron by the arm and walking out of the office. Harry took a seat in front of the desk and fiddled around with the box. Dumbledore waited until he heard the click of the door before beginning.
"Harry, I know you are Ron's best friend," began Dumbledore slowly, "and I am pleased to see that you are sticking by him and helping him through these bad times. Mr. Weasley has not looked his best these past days. I ask that you take good care of him while at the mortuary."
"Of course I will. I've been helping him get though this ever since the day he walked into the common room and announced that Lavender died," said Harry. To his surprise, deep down he felt a sort of anger towards Ron. Maybe it was because of what he had been thinking last night about him still liking Hermione. He felt an evil side of himself peek out but quickly suppressed it and maintained a somber expression.
"I'm glad you will. That's all I wanted to tell you. You may tell your friends to come in again," said Dumbledore. Harry stood up and opened the door. He saw Hermione hugging Ron with her eyes closed and tears streaming down her cheeks, as though they had just had a moment. Even though he knew he shouldn't be jealous, he felt his face turn red and his jaw clench.
"Hey, when you two are done trying to suffocate yourselves you can come back in," said Harry in the most playful voice he could. Hermione, surprised to see Harry, stepped away from Ron and smiled while wiping away her tears. He noticed that Ron's eyes were red as though he had been crying. He felt sorry for him but he was still a little annoyed. Ron stepped back into the office first and then went Hermione, followed by Harry.
Hermione opened the little box and handed Ron and Harry a train ticket and placed hers in her purse. They said goodbye to Dumbledore and touched the portkey at the same time. They were out of sight in half a second and Dumbledore let out a sigh. Even at his old age he did not understand why God would let such a good child suffer. Ron Weasley, if anything, deserved happiness. He wished that after this there would be cheer for the boy. A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts and he looked up off his desk. He rubbed his eyes and beckoned the person to enter. Professor McGonagall walked in, closing the door firmly behind her.
"Good morning Albus," said McGonagall, stepping up to his desk.
"Minerva," said Dumbledore in form of greeting. "How are you today?"
"Fine, thank you… Though I just gave Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy a detention for almost cursing themselves to another planet," she said, putting a hand on her forehead.
"What happened?"
"I don't really know, but I heard that Ms. Granger was arguing with Ms. Patil and Mr. Malfoy started picking on them and she got angry. I don't know what Ms. Patil and Ms. Granger were arguing about though, and I'm not sure I want to know."
"I can take a guess Minerva, but I hope I am wrong because the outcome could be disastrous," said Dumbledore.
"What do you think is going on?"
"I rather not say at the moment. I do not want to interfere in something that may teach them a lesson."
"If you say so, Albus. But these are children," said Minerva.
"Yes they are, but they are rapidly becoming adults and must take on those responsibilities. I do not want to deprive them of this opportunity to learn, as I said before," said Dumbledore. He hoped with all his heart he was doing the right thing, and that what he was thinking was not really what was going on.
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It had been two hours since they had arrived at the mortuary. Hermione looked around the place, admiring the effort the decorators put to make it nice. Lavender's coffin was a white creamy color and it lay shut on a stand. Next to it was a podium and a bunch of chairs were gathered around where everybody would be sitting in a couple of minutes. The flower decoration was lovely and not overpopulated. Everything was done with perfectly with caring hands. She and Harry stood quietly in a corner, not really knowing anyone there. Ron was speaking with Lavender's muggle parents, Andrew and Eloise Brown. Mrs. Brown was holding on to Mr. Brown's arm as though she might fall if she let go. They had been with Lavender through a great part of the tough time but they did the bigger job of finding doctors, traveling to hospitals, and consulting people. That had taken up a lot of time they could have spent with her. They appreciated everything Ron had done for her and treated him like a son. Lavender was their only child, so this was the worst thing that could have happened in their lives. Ron looked a bit uncomfortable, as though he wanted to leave. He glanced around nervously every once in a while and his gaze often rested a few moments on Hermione before turning back to Lavender's parents.
When everyone began to sit down, Harry and Hermione took a seat in the very back. A few moments later, Ron took a seat next to Hermione. Harry took her hand and brushed it lightly with his fingers. Hermione zoned out when a person who stepped up to the podium began to talk into the microphone. It was an old man with white hair whom she assumed was Lavender's grandfather but she couldn't be sure. She thought about the hug her and Ron had shared outside Dumbledore's office and how she knew it meant much more than what it seemed. The moment they had stepped out of the office, Hermione had drawn him close and hugged him. They stayed like that in silence for a while because there was no need for words. Tears had welled up in her eyes when she realized that in her arms was the man she loved but could never have. The tears were not of pity for him, but of pity for herself, and she knew that was wrong. Hermione shook herself out of her reverie and realized that Mrs. Brown was about to speak. She had stumbled onto the podium led by her husband.
"Thank you all for being here today," she spoke quietly into the microphone. She did not make eye contact with her audience, which regarded her with sadness and pity. "Lavender would have been happy to see how many people care about her."
"She looks like she's going to pass out at any moment," whispered Harry in Hermione's ear. He wasn't far from the truth.
"Lavender was such a good girl," said Mrs. Brown, wiping away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "She was very studious and attentive. She was just so intelligent. She loved and was loved… she had very good friends, but one in particular she couldn't stop talking about- Ron Weasley, her boyfriend. I have never seen someone care so much for my Lavender as Ron did. He helped us through these rough waters and stayed until the very end, and I would like to thank him for everything. I'm sure that if Lavender would have lived, their love would have lasted forever, but that will not happen now. I will never see Lavender get married, or have children, or be happy…"
Mrs. Brown broke down into convulsive sobs and dropped to her knees beside the coffin. Mr. Brown was at her side immediately and helped her up. She had to be practically carried to her seat. Hermione turned her glance to Ron who had a stony face. He looked like he was about to have a breakdown. She had never, in all the time she had known him, seen such a distant expression. Before she could say anything, he stood up abruptly and exited the mortuary. Harry followed closely behind, keeping his promise to Dumbledore. He pushed open the door and spotted Ron descending the stone steps at top speed and ran to catch up with him. Harry grabbed Ron by the arm and swung him around.
"Where are you going? You can't just leave Lavender's funeral like that," said Harry, panting a bit. Ron pulled his arm away from his grasp and looked up at the sky in a pleading manner.
"Why not? Why can't I just leave and forget about all of this?" asked Ron angrily. He kicked the cement step and sat down abruptly, putting his head in his hands.
"Would Lavender have liked you to do that?" questioned Harry, trying very hard for Ron to see reason.
"Lavender's dead. She doesn't think anymore, doesn't breathe anymore, and CAN'T FUCKING LIKE OR DISLIKE!" yelled Ron angrily, although it was a bit muffled by his hand.
"I don't know what you believe, Ron, but I know that there is a God and a heaven and wherever she is she can see you," replied Harry quietly.
"Whatever," said Ron, standing up and pacing. It seemed like he couldn't make up his mind whether to sit down and remain standing. "You're lucky, Harry. You have Hermione… she's alive and she's breathing."
"Obviously. And I AM lucky to have Hermione. You could have had her had you not been such an idiot," said Harry, not believing he had actually voiced the last part. Ron stopped abruptly and stared at him for a couple of seconds in shock before he spoke.
"She didn't want to be with me," he said finally.
"It's not that she didn't want to be with you, it's just that you gave up on her too easy and went to look for someone else. You just happened to stumble upon Lavender," Harry said crossly.
"So are you saying I got with Lavender to get my mind off Hermione?" asked Ron angrily.
"Well to me it sure seemed so and I'm pretty sure it seemed the same to Hermione."
"You're implying I don't love Lavender?"
"I don't know if you love, or "loved", her but I DO know you love Hermione. You make it so clear," said Harry, feeling a strange fury bubble up in his chest.
"I don't love Hermione anymore. It was just a crush and it's been gone for a long time now. I don't know why you're bringing it up," said Ron, his anger rising even more, if that was even possible. But deep down he knew he was lying to Harry and to himself.
"Then why did you try to keep me from getting with her? What the hell did you want?"
"I didn't want you to hurt Ginny," retorted Ron.
"Bullshit, Ron. You couldn't have been happier when I split with her. You only had one intention in your mind, and that was to get with Hermione," yelled Harry. "When you found out she was actually considering being my girlfriend you freaked out because you wanted to be with her. So do you really love Lavender? Can you say you love her after trying to get with someone else so soon after her death?"
"I was not trying to get with Hermione! Keep her, I don't want her! I love Lavender and that's where my devotion lies and it's not going to go to someone else any time soon."
"I don't believe you," said Harry.
"I don't care if you don't believe me or not!!!" yelled Ron. He was so confused and he wanted to be left alone, but Harry only wanted to press the matter further.
"Keep away from Hermione, and I mean it," threatened Harry, pointing a finger at Ron. Just then the door from the mortuary swung open and Hermione walked out, a worried look on her face. She looked from Harry to Ron confusedly because they looked as if they were about to hit each other.
"What's going on out here?" she asked, walking over to stand by Harry and putting a hand on his shoulder. She noticed that he was furious and extremely tense. The last time she had seen him like this had been when he was about to "kill" Sirius in their third year.
"Nothing," said Ron, taking a few steps back and staring Harry with malice. He seemed to Hermione like a cornered mouse trying to defend himself. She felt that if she had not come outside in time they would have beaten the pulp out of each other.
"Ask yourself who you really love," said Harry in a low voice, and he walked back into the mortuary. Hermione followed him with her eyes. When she lost sight of him she looked back at Ron, whose expression was very pale. The curiosity inside her grew with every passing minute.
"Ron, what happened?" asked Hermione, even though she sensed that she would not be able to get a response out of him. It's hard to get anything out of Ron when he is angry or frustrated.
"Nothing happened," said Ron shortly, as though he wanted her to go away.
"Tell me, Ron. You guys don't fight for the heck of it," she pressed.
"Everything's fine, we were just having a discussion about something, that's all," said Ron, pacing on the cement. Hermione was a little chagrined that he did not want to tell her what the situation was. It made her feel left out even though she knew it was none of her business.
"Fine, whatever," gave up Hermione, turning around and climbing back up the steps. When she realized that he was not following her, she paused and looked down at him. "Are you coming or not?"
"No, I just want to stay out here for a while," he said, and, seeing the hesitant look on her face, added, "I'll be fine, don't worry."
"If you say so. Just don't stay out here too long," she said, and went back inside.
Ron thought that nobody in the world felt as bad as he did at that moment. He felt like a traitor and a disgusting, horrific person. How could it be that in such a short time he had fallen back in love with Hermione? He thought that had died the moment he became Lavender's boyfriend. Had he been trying to kid himself all along? Did he really get with Lavender because subconsciously he needed to cover up his feelings for Hermione? But then why did he feel so complete with Lavender? He could admit that his time with her had been the best time in his life and he had felt like nothing was missing. These questions buzzed around in his head and it made him want to drive a dagger through himself just to avoid the agony of pondering the answers. One thing was for sure and he had come to accept it. He loved Hermione. The reason he had tried to keep Harry and Hermione apart was not so he wouldn't feel left out and not because he didn't want them to get hurt, but because HE wanted to be with her. This was the truth that made him feel horrible. He felt dirty because he had fallen back in love with Hermione so soon after Lavender's death. Looking up at the blue sky above the mortuary, he admitted his love but decided he would never act upon it. He would try as hard as he could to remain loyal to Lavender because she deserved it.
To be Continued…
(A/N: I'll update in about 2 weeks. I have a bunch of tests to study for. The story is going to get hot as we go back to Hogwarts, don't worry…)