Chapter 5
No matter how much he thought over it, Harry did not like Ron's responses. He had many reasons to suspect him. One suspicious thing he noticed was when Ron said he was lucky to have Hermione. Harry interpreted that to mean that he wished he could be with her. How dare Ron say such a thing in front of him? A second suspicious thing he caught was how nervous Ron got when he mentioned the crush he had for Hermione a long time ago. He had seemed uncomfortable and wouldn't look him in the eye when he said that it was gone and that he loved Lavender. Harry was furious at him. Ron always wanted what he had even though he always had more than Harry. He thought it was selfish of him. Harry understood the crush Ron had on Hermione and he could tolerate it as long as he doesn't act on it. He knew, though, that eventually Ron would act on his feelings. He wasn't going to be blind; he knew there were a bunch of things to love about Hermione, especially if you knew her well. But finder's keepers and Ron would have to accept he lost something. Harry was standing in the hall outside the room where Lavender's casket lay, thinking over these things. He heard the door open and Hermione marched in, looking ticked. She approached him rather quickly and grabbed him hard by the arm, making him wince slightly.
"Will you please tell me what happened?" she said in a low and dangerous voice.
"No-" Harry began.
"If you say 'Nothing' I will never speak to you again Harry Potter!" she shrieked. Her eyes were burning with passionate fury and Harry knew he shouldn't mess with her lest she smack him in the face.
"Ron and I had a slight argument, that's all. Nothing to worry about," said Harry, and Hermione let go of him. He felt relief as the blood in his arm continued its circulation.
"About what?" asked Hermione, pushing her hair behind her ear hastily.
"About Lavender," lied Harry. "Now will you please calm down? Everything is going to be ok."
"How can I calm down?" she said angrily. "How could you upset Ron on such a day when he needs your support?"
"I didn't upset him, he upset himself. He should get his facts straight."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means he needs to get over himself and move on and stop trying to mess up other peoples lives," responded Harry.
"Ok, you know what?" said Hermione, exasperated. "Whatever. I'm not going to try to solve problems between you two. It's time for you two to grow up."
"I never asked you to intervene, Hermione," said Harry, crossing his arms.
"You don't have to ask me to intervene, I'm supposed to do it on my own if I care for you guys, but this is stressing me out."
"Just calm down. By tomorrow he'll be okay," said Harry, reaching out for Hermione. She took his hand and he drew her into an embrace.
"Fine, I'll calm down," said Hermione. Harry gave her one quick peck on the lips before they went back to Lavender's funeral. In her heart, Hermione knew that all was not going to be okay, but for the time being she was going to ignore it.
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Ron and Harry did not speak at all for the rest of the time they were at the mortuary or later when they went to the graveyard. Lavender's coffin was lowered into a dark hole as a tall man in a suit said a couple of words. The people launched flowers into her grave and wept, but none as hard as Mrs. Brown, who looked like she wanted to be buried with her daughter. After the man was done speaking, the crowd slowly began to dissipate. Mr. Brown said goodbye to Ron, Hermione, and Harry and guided his wife to their car. Mrs. Brown kept throwing glances back at Lavender's grave until her husband forbade her to do so. Hermione watched them get into the car drive away. She turned back to her friends with a sigh. Harry was leaning casually on a tree next to Lavender's grave and Ron was standing in the same place he had been during the whole burial ceremony. He looked lost and lonely. She wished Harry had enough sense to go up to him and tell him something. At a time like this, he should forget about whatever argument he had with Ron earlier. She didn't say anything, but just stood there and watched both of them for a couple of minutes. Then she realized they had to be at Kings Cross by six and was forced to break the calm silence.
"Ron, we have to leave now," said Hermione, walking up to him.
"What time is it?"
"It's four-thirty," answered Hermione. "It'll take us a while to get to Kings Cross so it's best we be on our way."
"Leave with Harry. I'll take another train," said Ron, not looking at her. Hermione noted he was much paler than usual, probably from lack of proper nutrition.
"You don't look well, though. Maybe you ought to leave with us and on our way to the station we could pick up something to eat," said Hermione. "Besides, I don't think Dumbledore will be too happy with you staying behind."
"Do you always have to follow the rules?" Ron said angrily, turning to face her. She noticed his eyes were red with tears and his cheeks were moist.
"No, you know I don't always do that. I just feel like it isn't going to do you well to stare at the coffin all day."
"You don't know what's good for me or what isn't right now."
"Ron, I'm not leaving without you," retorted Hermione, crossing her arms.
"Yes you are because I'm not leaving."
"Then I'm staying too."
"I don't want you to stay," said Ron, his cheeks turning a hue of red.
"I'm not leaving you here alone," sighed Hermione. She hated when Ron acted like a toddler.
"Hermione, lets just leave. If Ron doesn't want to leave then it's his problem," said Harry, who had stopped leaning on the tree and had decided to cut into the conversation.
"Yes, it's my problem. Now go," Ron said, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels. Hermione looked from him to Harry and back at him. She closed her eyes for a moment to cool down her anger and walked away from Ron towards the entrance to the cemetery without saying another word. Harry followed her in silence, knowing that if he said anything, she would probably bite his head off.
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Hermione stared out the window of the Hogwarts Express, her mind whirling with thoughts. Harry had fallen asleep, his head resting on her shoulder. With the movement of the train it lolled back and forth like a limp doll. She hadn't wanted to leave Ron behind, who knows what he would do at such a time. He could even be suicidal. Her body went ice cold at the thought of that and she quickly shook it off. Ron would never try to kill himself, he was smarter than that. He knew that life would go on. At least she hoped he did. Hermione was so distracted with her thoughts that she didn't notice that the weight had been lifted off her left shoulder. Harry prodded her lightly with one finger and she turned her head to look at him. His hair was messy with sleep and he had a wide grin. He looked at her lovingly, just like Ron looked at Lavender. Just like she had hoped Ron would look at her. She gave a weak smile back and fluffed his hair.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Harry, taking hold of her hand and laying a gentle kiss on it.
"Homework," she lied.
"Well I'm sure you won't have much to do when we get back to school," said Harry, putting her hand down. A lengthy pause followed and he looked her in the eyes. "You know, for a moment there I thought you were thinking about Ron."
"I was, but I managed to convince myself that he'll be alright," said Hermione. At that moment she learned that one lie does lead to another.
"He needs get on with his life."
"Well you have to understand that it's difficult for him. He and Lavender were nearly attached to the hip. He loved her."
"I'm not so sure about that," said Harry in a low voice.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No, seriously, what did you say," questioned Hermione.
"I said I'm sure he did," lied Harry, mostly to avoid problems. Hermione smiled and he pulled her up into his lap. She was startled by the sudden change and stiffened.
"Calm down," he said, kissing her on the cheek and locking her in an embrace. She tried and finally loosened up, her back leaning on his chest. They stayed like that for a long time and she felt surprisingly safe
"Harry?" Hermione said, breaking the silence.
"Yes?"
"What would you do if I died?" she asked, wondering what he would answer.
"I would die. There's no point in living if you're not there to lighten up my life," Harry responded with sincerity. She wished with all her heart that some day she would love him like that, because this was very selfish. She loved her the way she loved Ron. Not that she wouldn't give her life for Harry – he was one of her greatest friends – but it would be in a much different way.
"I'm not worth it," said Hermione, turning her body around to face him. He looked a bit shocked.
"You're worth that and much more," he said, holding her closer to him. She focused her gaze on the red carpet of the train as tears slid slowly down her cheeks. Harry pushed her hair back and tilted her chin towards him. He kissed her soft lips and she closed her eyes, savoring his love.
"Thank you," she said. It was the first time anyone had ever told her what she was worth to them and it touched her. Her parents told her they loved her, but never told her she was important. She began to think that if she had been this important to Ron, he would have never given up on her. Hermione began to doubt he even liked her. She was shaken out of her reverie as Harry deepened the kiss and pushed her back onto the seat. She noticed that he got more passionate with each passing second and when his hands went to the front of her blouse she pulled away from him.
"Stop Harry," she said, backing away from him slightly and putting her head in her hands.
"What's wrong?"
"Well, it's just that I don't think we should be attempting to that in the train," said Hermione, slightly embarrassed. "I mean, anybody could walk in."
"Oh," said Harry, laughing at her. She lifted her head and smiled back.
"Sorry," she said, sighing.
"Don't be. You think of everything," he said, caressing her cheek. "That's one of the many reasons I love you."
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Hermione walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room by herself. Harry had stayed behind to talk to Seamus and Neville, who were having snacks because they couldn't sleep, so she had decided to head off to bed. She didn't want to get in trouble for being out of bed at such a late hour. After all, tomorrow would be a busy day with her having to make up homework and catch up on notes. It was late, nearly eleven-thirty, and the shadows caused by the brightly lit torches were dancing on the walls. She doubted anyone would be up in the common room at such a time. She whispered the password and the portrait swung open. Hermione stepped in the room and stretched. It was then she noticed that someone was watching her from a corner, hidden in the shadows. She took a couple of steps forward and when her eyes adjusted to the light of the fireplace she saw that it was Ginny. She had her arms crossed and was glaring at her maliciously. This was unlike her, and it scared Hermione.
"Ginny, what are you doing up so late?" she asked, trying to seem as unfazed as possible. Her eyes dug into Hermione, staring at her as though wishing she would burst into flames. If humans could let out steam, Hogwarts would be full of it by now.
"I don't think that worries you much," Ginny said, standing up and walking out of the shadows. Hermione unknowingly took a step back. Deep down she was afraid. She had an inkling feeling that she was upset about Harry.
"Why wouldn't it worry me? You're my friend." She instantly came to regret what she said.
"Oh! So NOW I'm your friend?!?!" yelled Ginny furiously. Hermione jumped at the sound of the yell, wishing she had waited for Harry, although, after thinking about it, that would have been a bad idea. She longed to go upstairs and get away from this but she knew she would eventually have to face the music.
"Look, Ginny, if this is about Harry-" She was forced to duck as Ginny flung a glass vase at her head. It shattered on the wall directly behind Hermione.
"This IS about Harry. How could you do this to me? YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM, TRAITOR BITCH!" Ginny picked up a rather heavy statue of a lion off of a table and hurled it at Hermione, causing her once more to stoop out of its way. This was getting too violent and she feared that if it wasn't stopped soon, there would be fatal disaster.
"Stop it, Ginny. It's not my fault he's not with you anymore!"
"Yes it is! He left me because you seduced him!"
"I never seduced him! I'm not like that and you know it!" responded Hermione angrily.
"I don't know what you're like. I thought you would never conspire against me like that, and look now! I trusted you too much. I didn't believe Parvati when she told me, but when the rest of the school was gossiping about it I had to believe it! I should have treated you like what you are. A BITCH!" yelled Ginny, her chest heaving furiously from all the shouting.
"Parvati never minds her own business," she muttered.
"Did you think I would never find out? If it weren't for friends like Parvati, people like YOU would take advantage of the world!"
"People like Parvati? HA! You don't even know her, so I would shut up if I were you," said Hermione, getting angrier by the second. If she had to take this crap one more minute, she would end up flinging something at Ginny just to make her stop talking.
"At least she's honest."
"She's honest because she loves causing trouble, otherwise she would have kept her mouth shut."
"Whatever, fuck Parvati. I'm only telling you ONE THING – leave Harry alone or you'll pay," said Ginny, and with that last remark she walked out of the common room and into the dark halls of Hogwarts.
Hermione wasn't even going to bother telling her she couldn't be out there so late. If she got in trouble it served her right. With a sigh, she sat on the couch and commenced to cry. They weren't tears of sadness; they were of anger and frustration. She hated fighting with people and today had started with her cussing out Malfoy and ended with ducking away from Ginny throwing inanimate objects at her head. She just wanted the day to end but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. Only time could heal serious wounds, and Ginny's would take longer than a couple of hours to mend itself.
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The corridors were dark and uninviting. Ginny had no other choice but to be out there because she didn't want to see Gryffindor Tower. She didn't want to see Hermione or Harry, or even her brother. They had all turned against her, as she always suspected they would. It had constantly been the three of them with no room for her. Ginny thought at one time that being friends with Hermione included her in the circle but she was wrong. They would still tell her to go away and they would whisper amongst each other and laugh, while she sat by herself waiting to be invited. She had been so stupid to think they would ever consider her an equal. At these thoughts, her eyes welled up with tears. She hadn't cried when she knew for sure Hermione was with Harry, but now her soul was so full of sadness she couldn't bear to hold it back. She hugged herself tightly and continued her walk, staring intently at the ground.
Maybe she should have slept with Harry. Perhaps that was why he hadn't stayed with her. The thought wandered off her mind as quickly as it had come. Harry was not so shallow as to want sex to fall in love. He was an honest guy who relied on pure and trusting love rather than sexual. This was definitely Hermione's fault and she would pay. She wanted her to die a horrible death and suffer in the pits of hell for all eternity. Then it could be just her, Harry, and Ron, the new and better trio. Ginny grinned at the idea. It made her happy and warm inside, as sweet and forbidden ideas usually do. She was so distracted that she did not become aware of a person standing in the middle of the corridor. The figure watched her approach slowly and did nothing to stop her. She bumped into the person and looked up, surprised.
"Weasley," said Draco Malfoy, his trademark smirk playing on his face. He regarded her with shining silver-colored eyes and she automatically became defensive.
"Leave me alone, Malfoy," said Ginny, trying to get around him but he blocked her.
"Now, what's a little Weasel like you doing up so late?"
"What's a ferret like you doing out of its hole?" she retorted. It did not upset him as she hoped it would. Instead, it made his smirk even larger.
"I asked you first," he said, calmly leaning his body against the wall.
"Well I'm not answering. Go fuck yourself," Ginny said, and this time walked right past him without being blocked. She let out a long breath of relief and marched down the corridor.
"You know," said Malfoy, all sarcasm and rudeness gone from his voice, "I would be furious with Granger if I were you." Ginny paused and turned around. Contrary to what her mind told her to do, she responded.
"I am angry at her."
"I would want to tear Potter away from her," he continued, surveying his nails.
"Which is what I plan to do."
"But how are you going to do it?" Draco asked in a mocking voice.
"I'll find a way. Now don't worry about little old me," said Ginny, sarcastically. She wasn't about to discuss her plans with Draco because technically it was none of his business.
"I don't worry about Weasels."
"Then leave me alone."
"You know, pretty soon you will be so overshadowed by Granger that not even your obscenely red hair will be noticed," said Malfoy, and strode casually down the hall and around a corner, leaving Ginny with her thoughts pounding in her head.
"Mind your own business, ferret!" she yelled down the corridor, not caring whether Mrs. Norris or an authority figure heard her. She continued her walk, opposite the way Draco Malfoy had gone, thinking about what he had said. It proved that not everything was her imagination. Hermione had always outshined Ginny, but it seemed that now she was trying to surpass her all the way. She was striving to take everything. Ginny was going to put a stop to it – the sooner the better.
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Ron stumbled into the common room at about four in the morning, trying hard to maintain balance. He put a finger to his lips in a sign of silence, even though there was no one in the room. Then he proceeded to crash into a table, knocking over a bright orange vase. It shattered on the cold stone floor. Without taking notice, he made his way up the staircase and to his room. Ron held out one hand to the wall for support since he felt that at any moment his legs would give out. Swinging the door open, he found his roommates deep in slumber. He wobbled his way over to Harry's bedside and stared at him for a couple of minutes. Harry was lying on his stomach, grasping a pillow, unaware of any sounds. Ron bent over, shaking him a couple of times and calling out his name, seeking to wake him up. After a couple of minutes, he straightened up and his eyes fell on Harry's broom, which lay on top of his school trunk. He snatched it up and began whacking him with it.
"HEY! HEY! STOP IT!" yelled Harry, flailing his arms in an attempt to shield himself from the blows. He finally caught the handle and yanked the broom out of Ron's hands. By then, everyone in the room had woken up, startled by the shouts.
"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Harry asked, his green eyes wide.
"Trying to wake you up," he slurred.
"You're drunk, aren't you?"
"Maybe I am," said Ron, indignantly.
"Will you guys take the conversation elsewhere? We're trying to sleep," said Neville, covering his head with a pillow. Harry threw his covers off and grabbed Ron by the arm, dragging him out of the dormitory and back down to the common room.
(A/N: Spelling mistakes on what Ron is saying in the following conversation are INTENTIONAL.)
"Whaddid you do that for? Ya know how long it took me to get upsteers?"
"Like two minutes."
"Yes," replied Ron, collapsing on a couch, "But it was the longest two minutes of my life."
"Oh, shut up, will you?" said Harry, angrily. "What did you wake me up for?"
"Well, I jus wanned to tell ya dat Herminny is my friend. And I'm not stayin' away from her 'cause you have ta be all jealous and shit," slurred Ron, trying to make eye contact with Harry as best as he could.
"If it were true that you only want to be her friend and nothing else then I wouldn't mind. But I KNOW you love her and want her as more than just a pal."
"I dunt wanner as a girlfrin. I love Lavender."
"Yes, but Lavender's dead and it would only be natural for you to go after a living being," objected Harry.
"I dunt care what you say. I'm not keepin' away from Herminny," said Ron, unwilling to change his mind, even if it brought consequences. Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, Ron noticed (Even though he was beyond drunk), that Harry had lost his last thread of patience and hope.
"Then this is the end of the conversation. Listen to me Ron, because this is the LAST time I will ever speak to you – I've never loved anything in my life as much as I love Hermione. I'll never hurt her like you did, because you don't hurt what you love," Harry said, turning around and heading back up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Ron rolled off the couch and onto the floor. He began to laugh, but after a good five minutes he stopped. He didn't know what was so funny. Maybe it was the irony of life, or maybe the fact that he never thought that his friendship would fall apart so quickly before his eyes. This isn't like their argument fourth year. Hermione can't mend what she unwittingly tore apart.
To be continued…
(A/N: Sorry for the delay but I had severe writers block. Thanks for your patience!)