Just a bit of crap really! My endings always suck so enjoy the beginning! Please review...

That time of the month!

"Uh oh!" One of the technicians in the control room said looking through a calendar, his face losing colour.

"What is it?" Hammond asked walking over to the man.

"Uh Sir, it's the third week of the month. SG1 are off-world trying to set up an alliance with the inhabitants of P3X-568."

The man watched all the colour drain from the older mans face. "Recall them immediately." He barked.

"Yes Sir!"

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On P3X-568.

"DANIEL!!!" Colonel O'Neill's voice rang out through the forest.

"What?!" The archaeologist said from behind him making Jack jump.

"Don't do that!" He said through gritted teeth.

"What do you want Jack?"

"You ate the last chocolate bar?" He put his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, someone took my coffee and I needed some caffeine."

"I only drank your coffee because you had the last chocolate bar!"

"You drank my COFFEE!" He shouted putting his hands on his hips.

"You ate my CHOCOLATE!"

"I didn't I stole Sam's!" Daniel whispered folding his arms across his chest.

"YOU STOLE MY CHOCOLATE??!!!" Sam screamed from the other end of the clearing by the tents.

"How does she do that?" Both men asked.

"Call it women's intuition." Sam said walking over hands on hips.

"I only took your chocolate because Jack drank my coffee." Daniel defended himself.

"Oh and I suppose that's acceptable because you can't live without caffeine, whereas I am the only woman AND you both know that I NEED MY CHOCOLATE AT THIS TIME OF THE MONTH!!!!" She screamed causing all the birds in the vicinity to fly out of the trees and Teal'c to come running out with chocolate covering his mouth.

"Where is the fire?"

"What?" Everyone turned to the Jaffa.

"YOU ATE THE LAST CHOCOLATE?" Sam cried.

"Indeed. It was very nice."

"I am so going to KILL YOU!!!" The Major flew at the Jaffa to start her assault only to be held back by Jack and Daniel.

"Okay Sam, calm down!" Jack ordered. "We are all going to go back to the SGC very quickly so that we can all have some chocolate and we are NOT going to kill each other!"

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"Incoming wormhole, receiving SG1 iris code Sir!" Walter Davis said. (Chevron guy)

"Open the iris!" He sighed. "Get the chocolate bars handy!"

The armed airmen filtered into the gate room below with extra chocolate bars in their pockets.

The metal cover on the Stargate swirled open the blue 'puddle' rippled as four figures emerged, all sullen and shooting evil glares at their team mates.

"SG1, how was the mission?" Hammond asked over the intercom. He soon regretted this question when they all started in-detail reports of the coffee/chocolate thieves at the tops of their voices.

The SF's were scared; they didn't know what was going on. One brave SF slowly made his way up to Sam who was closest to him and handed her the chocolate bar. She soon shut up and started to eat the tasty 'food of the Gods', this caused the rest of SG1 to turn to the poor SF and start giving him an earful. His friends came to his rescue and handed over the remaining bars resulting in a happy SG team.

Hammond exhaled the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "Remind me to award that SF the bravery medal." He told Davis. "Also remind me that SG1 do not go off world the third week of every month. It's bad enough that Major Carter has to have PMT, but the others don't have to I mean they're men!"

Doctor Fraiser smiled as she walked up to him. "Men have mood swings at certain times of the month, it's a hormonal thing Sir. It's just dangerous to have it at the same time as the rest of their team."

They both looked down to see SG1 fighting over the last bar of chocolate.

"What will I do with them?" Hammond asked himself and went back to his office.

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Finis. Yes men do have PMT(bad moods at a certain time of the month) I have enough male friends to know that! Please review!!!!