I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
-- from "Keane - Somewhere Only We Know"
Lance woke up from his slumber, his eyes taking in the soft sunlight from his window as he rose. He sat up in bed and looked around his room. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he was still dreaming or if he was awake...but then he realized that he was, in fact, awake and alert. He slid out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. As he passed by the common room he saw a liquor bottle on its side, half empty on the floor. Lance shook his head and smirked a little. Someone was going to have a massive hangover when they woke up.
He turned the corner into the kitchen and saw Wanda sitting at the table, her hands wrapped firmly around a cup of coffee, her eyes gazing off into the distance through the window above the sink. Lance looked at the scene; the sober Goth girl looking even more sober and silent, her hands gripping a mug like it was a lifeline to something, her nightshirt covering a bit more then half of her slender legs and hips. She looked less and less like a warrior and more and more like a lost little girl playing grown up games. Lance knew this because at that moment he saw the way Tabitha had looked the one night he had seen her awake before 9 am. She had carried nearly the exact same look on her face and held her cup almost identical to Wanda's posture. Lance didn't say anything then and soon after Tabitha left the house. He, deep down, was scared another person would leave their home. He didn't want that to happen...but he didn't want Wanda angry at him either.
Lance walked forward to the refrigerator and opened it as quiet as he could. He saw her stir and look behind her to him, her face long and drawn out. He heard her speak as he pulled out a carton of milk and a piece of fruit.
"Morning."
"Morning," Lance replied as he put the milk and fruit down on the counter. "I'll be out of your way in a moment."
"...That's ok. You don't have to go just because I'm here." Wanda replied, her voice soft. "Actually...I'd prefer it if you stayed." Lance turned around, a box of corn flakes in his right hand, a bowl in his left hand. He looked at Wanda looking at him, a strangely sad look on her face.
"You mean you actually want someone to be around you?"
"Lance, please don't make this any harder then it already is," Wanda replied softly. She looked down at her coffee for a moment before speaking again. "I just...I just want to know someone's here. I want people to not be afraid of me."
"Well, to be honest, you tend to frighten people. Hexing them just for making a comment that you don't like tends to make people not want to be around you." Lance sat down with his bowl of cereal and his fruit and looked across the table to Wanda. He felt his face flush a little as he realized that Wanda, in her own way, was very pretty. "Todd, of course, is the exception to that. I think he actually likes you hexing him."
"He does. He loves me. And that fucking sucks." A long silence followed Wanda's words and neither spoke, their heads filling with thoughts.
"The idea that Todd loves you sucks, Wanda?" Lance asked cautiously.
"No. The idea that someone is willing to stay this long around me at my worst...and I don't feel the same things for them sucks."
"You think you're at your worst?"
"Well this is obviously not my best, Lance." She shook her head angrily, her hands gripping the cup even more. Lance was sure he was going to have to clean up the breaking of the mug as Wanda was gripping the porcelain so hard. "I mean, I treat you and Todd and Fred and John like shit when all you guys have done me no wrong. The only person I should even partially be angry at is Pietro...and even I'm not angry at him. I want to kill everything...but I don't want to be alone."
"What do you mean?"
"...I'm going to tell you this and if you tell anyone else, I'll kick your ass. Got it?"
"Got it."
"My biggest fear is being alone. I'm ok with being alone...but I'm not." Wanda sighed for a moment, wondering just why she was opening up to anyone, least of all Lance Alvers. She looked at his face and saw that he was merely looking at her, his face impassive. She smiled a little. Wanda knew that Lance tried to lead, despite Pietro being the de-facto leader of the house and she knew that with better circumstances, he'd do as good a job or better then Cyclops. She knew Lance was good for something like this...she just didn't know how well. "Being in the asylum makes you able to deal with being alone. But when the doctors would leave, I could hear them talking about me amongst themselves. It made me feel like they were glad to be leaving the freak." She paused a moment, her voice cracking a little. "It feels like that here, sometimes."
Lance looked at the 17 year old girl for a moment before speaking, his voice slow and his volume controlled. "Honestly, I know I want you to stay. I like having you here. I especially like having you talking to me. It's good knowing you're like us."
"You think I'm like you guys?"
"Most definitely. Despite what your father might think, we're here because we need one another. We're here because we need to stay together. Todd's an orphan, I was given up to the state at 13, you were committed and Fred was a freak with the other freaks. The only person who really doesn't fit here is John and I suspect that that isn't even true because there's something about him that makes me think he's just like us." Lance got up and put his now finished bowl of cereal into the sink and poured himself a cup of strong coffee. He took a sip, smiled, and sat back down. "Plus, you make good coffee."
"Thanks."
"...Wanda, you're also nutty like us. We're all a little bit left of center. We're all slightly insane here. I'm almost convinced that this is par for the course for us. Maybe having this X-Gene bullshit makes us go slightly nuts. I'm not sure," Lance said softly, looking down into his cup for a moment. "But I do know you're just a strange as the rest of us. And frankly, I wouldn't want you any other way." He snorted and smirked sadly. "If it weren't for the fact that Todd loves you...and I already have someone I need to be with, I'd give you a try."
"Nice to know I'm wanted." Lance looked up at Wanda's eyes and noticed that she was smiling for the first time. He smiled back and they laughed for a moment.
"It's the truth. Just like the truth that Todd loves you."
"That's just it, Lance: how can I love someone like him? More to the point, how can he love someone like me?" Wanda shook her head for a moment and looked off into the distance, her frown sliding back onto her face. "I'm not that pretty, I'm not smart, I don't do tricks, and I'm a mean human being. What does he see in me?"
"Honestly, the same things I see in you: a sweet girl twisted by both her mutation and her life. I see the sweet girl in you. You're mean because of the things done to you but you can change." Lance looked at her for a moment. "While I lived on the street, I had a friend who raised pit bulls. To everyone else, his pit bulls were mean and vicious, but to me and him they were the sweetest dogs in the world."
"Oh, so now you're going to compare me to a pit-bull?" Wanda asked dryly but with more then a little bit of frustration. Lance rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"Let me finish." He cleared his throat and continued. "He'd train these dogs to be loyal to those people who didn't show fear in being around them. Once the dogs accepted the people, they were totally loving and loyal. One day we found a pit that had been used in underground animal fighting. He was hurt badly and we tried to move him but couldn't until we shot him with some tranquilizer. Once we cleaned him up and treated him, we kept him trying to rehabilitate him. But all the times we tried to play with him, he just snarled and barked and tried to hurt us. Over time, however, we found out that he was still hurting inside.
""How can you know what a dog is feeling?" Wanda asked, slightly confused by all this.
"Their eyes. Every time my friend's pits would bark at us, we saw sparkles of life in their eyes. In this dog, we saw nothing but darkness. But we kept him and eventually he became better. He learned to trust and he learned to love. When I left for Bayville, that dog basically clamped onto my leg and almost wouldn't let me go. That's patience. That's the kind of patience Todd has in trying to bring the beauty in you out. Honestly," Lance said softly, "That boy has the most persistence and patience of anyone in this house. He can do what Pietro can't: love you unconditionally."
"But how can I possibly love him?"
"The same way he loves you. Unconditionally." Lance looked back into Wanda's eyes and sighed. "I lost that when I and Kitty broke up. I lost the ability to love unconditionally. And I lost that when the person I want now left. Honestly, knowing now what I know, I should have kept her here when Mystique threw her out."
"Who is this person?"
"I...I don't want to say," Lance said slowly before remembering that, in fact, Wanda didn't know her. Wanda didn't know the history of what happened in the Brotherhood before she joined. He wondered if he could trust her...
"Oh come on, I told you my deepest feelings. It's only fair I know whom you pine for." Wanda smiled a little when she said this, trying to draw something out of the brown haired boy. Lance smiled as he recognized the attempt to mine information from him. He took a deep breath and let half of it out. The coffee cup shook in his hand as he spoke.
"Do you know the history of who was here at this house before you came?"
"Not really."
"Well, we had two other girls live here from time to time. You might know about Rogue living here as part of the Brotherhood."
"Actually, now that you mention it, I do."
"Well...there was one more. She used to be a part of the X-Men but she left when she couldn't deal with their brand of bullshit. She lived here for a while then she left. I...I kind of had a quiet crush on her but she had a big fat raging one on me. I learned all this the night she left."
"Whoa."
"Yeah. I've been thinking about her a lot, seeing Kitty with that metal asshole, Piotr." Lance snorted and looked off, his eyes clouding over a little bit. "I failed...and he's going to succeed because he's a gentle giant and I'm an insensitive shit."
"Now stop THAT shit, Lance," Wanda said sharply. Lance looked up and saw a different type of emotion in her eyes, the kind of familiar concern he hadn't seen in her or anyone else in the house save Fred and Todd for a long time. "Look, you're not the best at expressing what's on your mind...but even I know you're trying your best for us and for those you care about. So either shit or get off your pity pot because I'm not listening to this." Wanda's voice dropped for a moment. "Hearing you makes me wonder if you're the jerk everyone over at the mansion makes you out to be or just misunderstood and I'm not going to lose someone who might understand me because he can't deal."
"Then what the hell do you suggest?"
"Find her. Bring her back. Reconcile. Do a bunch of things. Work things out. We're the Brotherhood, right?" She smiled a wan smile, a look that rather confused Lance. "We're not expected to be much so we don't have to play by anyone's rules but our own."
"...which her, Wanda? Which her?" Lance asked, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Whichever one you feel will accept you just as you are." She looked down at her cup for a moment. "I'm trying to figure out how to like that little slime ball just as he is. He disgusts me so much...but Todd's done more for me here then I'll ever be able to repay."
"Then it's just like I said before: Love him just because he loves you. It doesn't have to be that complicated anymore. At least for us. Maybe this is what we have to do to find happiness." Lance got up and walked to the sink, placing his cup in the basin. He turned back to Wanda and smiled. "I mean, John and Pietro are two steps away from fucking on the front lawn..."
"What?"
"You didn't know? Those two are crushing on each other hard. They deflect it with all their talk about who's the bigger chick magnet and shit...but they're attracted to each other. I can see it."
"Well. That's strange."
"You're telling me. But I, for one, am glad."
"Why?"
"Pietro's no longer crushing on me." At that, Lance walked to the doorway, stopping and looking over his shoulder. "Just do this for me. Give Todd a chance. He's a good kid. He just needs a good woman to set him right. You could do the job nicely."
"I make no promises. But I will think about it." Wanda held her jaw and chin as firm as she could while saying this. Lance nodded and turned to leave. "Lance?" Wanda said softly as he turned out the door. Lance came back and looked at her for a moment.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks. For everything."
"It's no problem. You're one of us now, Wanda. You're a member of the Brotherhood and we take care of our own." At that, Lance left and walked down the hallway to the stairs, passing a slightly hung over Todd Tolensky who slowly walked down the stairs, his normally pale eyes and skin appearing even more drawn and shaded. "Whoa, Toad. What the hell happened to you?"
"Y'dont wanna know, yo."
"Whatever. But if you puke, you're cleaning it up." Lance walked past the shorter boy with a smirk, knowing full well what had happened by just looking at Todd's emaciated form. He snickered a little while walking into his room but his smile faded as the enormity of the conversation began to weigh on his head and heart. He wondered just when he had become, once again, the de facto leader of the Brotherhood and why it was that he was cast in that role.
Lance sat down on his bed and looked down at his hands for a moment. Then he reached into the drawer on the nightstand that was on the side of his bed, pulling out a small plain piece of paper. He reached for a phone and dialed a set of numbers on the bottom. After three rings, the ringing stopped and a voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Who is this?"
"The one who needs you."
"...how...how did you know it was me?"
"I know you. At least, I used to."
"I see. So, what do you want from me, Lance? Another shoulder to cry on? Another sympathetic ear?"
"You."
"What?"
"I want you. Period. Get on a plane and come back here. Now."
"You expect me to leave everything here just because you think you need me?"
"I don't think I need you. I know I do. And yeah, it's not like you're doing that well there anyway." A pause, as Lance tried to form better words in his mind. "Look...you were right. I was trying to be more then I could be. Now I just want to be who I am. I want you to love me."
"...you're finally admitting I was right? Something must be wrong."
"The only thing that's wrong is us not being together. Now come home. Please."
A pause. "I'll be there in 2 days."
"I'll be waiting."
"You will. Because if you're not, I'm going to kick your ass."
"Spoken like the woman I used to know." Lance laughed for the first time in a long time when he said this and he was rewarded with gentle girlish laughter on the other side of the line. "But yes. I will be here."
"Good. I'll call you as soon as I hit LaGuardia Airport."
"Fine. One last thing, though..."
"What is it?"
"I...I've missed you, Tabitha."
"...I've missed you too, Lance. It's been too long, Rocky..."
"I know. Goodbye for now."
"Goodbye for now." At that, the phone went dead and Lance held the silent receiver to his ear for a moment. A slow smile crept back to his lips. Tabitha was coming home. Maybe now, he'd be able to write a wrong in his life.
***Todd staggered into the kitchen and looked up, seeing Wanda looking at him with a strange expression on her face. He sat down at the table and looked at her for a moment. "Hi."
"Hi."
"Look, Wanda...I'm sorry about last night."
"Don't be. Just don't ever drink again. Okay?"
"Okay." A long silence passed, and then Todd belched and groaned a little. Wanda shook her head and smiled a little.
"Feeling bad?"
"Somewhat. A sunning on the lawn will help that, cuddles."
"What do you mean?" Wanda asked, now slightly confused.
"I'm going to go lay out in the sun and hopefully rest in the air to wipe away these last lingering feelings like I wanna puke," Todd said slowly, his eyes beginning to see more and more as his conscious mind went more and more into focus. He saw Wanda looking down at her cup of coffee again and wondered what she was thinking about.
"Todd?"
"Yes, Wanda?"
"Did you mean what you said last night?"
"What did I say?"
"You said that you were going to get better for me. Change. Shower. Stop eating flies..."
"Well, I never said anything about the flies, shnookmus," Todd said with a wry smile. Wanda looked up, waiting to see a sneer on Todd's face but instead saw the same loving expression that he had begun to make famous in her heart and mind. She smiled back at him, a motion that both shocked and surprised her but she didn't stop until she stood up and walked to the coffeemaker to refill her cup.
"You said you wanted me to get to know you. Well, how about tomorrow night?"
"What do you mean?"
"There's a poetry reading tomorrow night that I was going to go to. Would you like to go with me?"
"Sure."
"Ok." Wanda sighed for a moment before looking back at the short pale green boy. "I'll be downstairs in the living room at 7.30. If you're late, I leave without you."
"I understand."
"Fine. I'll talk to you later." At that, Wanda left the kitchen but was stopped by Todd's tongue wrapping around her wrist. She slid it off her arm and turned around to face him, annoyance written lightly on her face. Todd stood up and walked to her, a needy look on his face.
"Wanda...I just want you to know...that...I love you, yo. I really, really love you."
"...I know." Wanda turned and ran from the room, her own thoughts beginning to betray her. Todd looked into the hallway as she left and sighed. Silently he walked past the living room entrance and out the front door, settling on the front lawn. The early morning sun had finally reached more of its heating potential and as Todd settled underneath the glowing ball, he smiled a little. His thoughts were so on Wanda and having a date with her the next evening that he totally missed Pietro and John making out on the porch. As he passed them by, John stopped their actions and looked at the frog boy laying himself out on the lawn. He turned to Pietro and mouthed, "What's going on?"
Pietro merely shrugged and kissed John again, their eyes no longer looking at the now slumbering frog boy.
***A/N: Ok, this was a little long to write. But I like the way this is playing out. Tabitha's return, Todd's date, Jietro: Explained, and Fred makes an apperance and befriends an animal. All next...but you have to review for it to happen. Give me ideas and feedback. Please. Oh, and get the album by Keane called Hopes and Fears. The song snippet in the top is from them and they rule. They're like a cross between Ben Folds Five and Coldplay. They rule. Yup.
Anyway, review. Please.