Disclaimer: No it's not mine dammit! These characters don't belong to me;
I'm just using them to fulfil some of my insane fantasies! (i.e. this is
what should happen - in my opinion - but probably won't!)
Note: Hi everybody! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated sooner! What can I say... there's not really an excuse per se, just a whole lot of work/school/business! I do apologise, and will try to be better in future!
Once again, thanks heaps to all my lovely reviewers – Animegoil, yes I've finally updated – sorry u had to wait so long, glad you're enjoying the story! Chisato Shidou – thankyou! *blushes* I dunno, but it's sweet of you to say! ^_^ CrYsTaLsNoW, matchoupitchounette, Chiharu Ylliana and Sorrowful Memory, thanks so much for the continuing support – I'm glad you like it! ^_^
I can't believe that people actually want me to write another chapter still! Aren't you all sick of me yet? No? YAY!!! Okay, well, Kureno's not in here as I don't know him, and don't want to try to write up an unknown character in character... did that make sense?! And, Tohru is maybe a little out of character? You decide! Please no flames though – I'm doing my very best to make this story believable and worth reading. Enjoy! Reviews appreciated as always. ^_^ SpringSnow
Note: Btw, in reply to one of my reviewers who thought that it was OOC for Haru not to go black and "KICK THAT BASTARD'S ASS!" as I put it in chapter 3... Well, my assumption was that Haru was intelligent enough to realise that even if he were to do so he wouldn't achieve much, as Akito would just retaliate by hurting Yuki more than he had done previously.
Yuki also fears this, which may be part of the reason for his condition in the coming chapter. I did try to allude to this subtly in the paragraph where Haru is thinking about doing just that as the older Sohma's arrive... but obviously I didn't do a good enough job, so here it is for you in plain, subtle-as-a-brick common English. Enjoy! ^_^
Also, please don't feel obliged to read the story if you aren't enjoying it because you think something's off – I don't pretend to be able to impress everyone, and my ego wouldn't be hurt if you decided you couldn't stand it!
Luv u all! SpringSnow ^_^
White Love – Second Chances
"All we can do for Yuki right now is to let him rest. He seems to have exhausted himself in his confrontation with Akito. Hopefully, in time, he will recover, but there's nothing I can do to assist with that." Hatori sighed. Today had been a long day, and it wasn't over yet. It seemed that Yuki had slipped into some sort of coma, for lack of a better word to describe it. The only rationalisation Hatori had been able to come up with was that it was easier for Yuki to not wake up, for the time being at least.
No doubt Yuki was terrified of what was going to happen when he woke up. It seemed inevitable that Akito would mete out a horrific punishment for his outburst. It hadn't been exactly complimentary. What Yuki didn't know, however, was that Akito... well, he had been distraught at Yuki's comments, that was true, but what was surprising was that he seemed... upset at how Yuki was feeling, of all things.
~***~
*Flashback...*
As Yuki finished screaming at the frail family master, Akito slowly slid to the ground, as if in shock. As Shigure caught him, the dog cautiously asked what was the matter.
"He... he really hates me..." a visibly shaken Akito replied, "I... I never meant to hurt him this much. I just lose control... it's as if I have no say over what comes out of my mouth, over what I do to him. The bitterness... I just can't cope with seeing him so happy... when I know I'll never... Never get even a taste of that sort of happiness... When I never even had a chance for that - for life. I guess... I take it out on him... I guess I shouldn't... but... I really went too far this time, huh? I never meant..." he didn't finish.
There was no need for him to. As Shigure and Hatori supported him, for the first time they felt stirrings of compassion for the young, troubled boy half-lying on the floor. I never thought... never even considered it from his point of view. It's... it's so UNFAIR. How can any of us – especially Akito – cope with this? He's still just a boy, confused and scared... so scared, thought Shigure, his serious side understanding the importance of this speech of Akito's.
Hatori merely looked on in shock. He couldn't articulate even to himself how wretched he felt at that moment. How could he have been so uncaring? How could any of them been so blind?
He carried Akito back to his room, and after checking to make sure nothing was physically wrong, left Shigure to watch over him. If anyone could help Akito when he eventually woke up, it was he.
But Yuki... Hatori wasn't sure if anyone could help him now, even Haru.
~***~
Haru sat by Yuki's bed, holding the unconscious rat's hand. His feelings had never been so mixed as at that moment. When he, Hatori, Ayame and Shigure had burst into Akito's room to find Yuki yelling at the family master, Haru's heart had tried to tear out of his chest so it could swell enough to fit in all the emotion it was feeling.
Fear, obviously – he was so afraid of what the family master was going to do to Yuki, and of what he had already done. But almost as strong as that fear was the pride Haru felt for Yuki at that moment, when the four burst in to find him fighting back, finally. He was so... happy that the frail rat had found the strength to stand up to Akito. Where he found that strength, Haru had no idea, but just that he had was enough.
For a few moments after entering the room, the Sohma's stood in the doorway, stunned at the scene enfolding in front of them. It was so fitting, Haru remembered thinking, that Yuki was the one who had finally saved himself from his waking nightmare. It was so unbelievable, and yet so wonderful that where Haru had been helpless, Yuki had managed to escape on his own.
After that, Haru had accompanied Ayame as he carried Yuki back to his room at Hatori's, so the doctor could look him over. Apart from the bloody gashes left from Akito's whip, which were patterned across his torso front and back, Hatori could find little physically wrong with the boy. But he didn't wake, even for a moment. This was more than a simple healing sleep, Hatori was certain. It appeared to be a sort of self-induced coma, in which Yuki had finally escaped the pain. There was no way of telling when - or even if - the delicate rat would awake.
~***~
Since Hatori had shared this information with the other assembled Sohma's eight days ago, Haru had not moved from Yuki's bedside, except to go to the bathroom. (Just being realistic!) Ayame was frequently there also, bringing food for the emotionally drained ox, and sitting with him for as long as he could. However, he was obliged to leave to sleep, and to look after his shop. There was no one else to look after the place, and though employees like Miie did their share, Ayame was a very hands-on person who needed assurances that all was running smoothly.
Hatori came in two or three times a day, to check Yuki's intravenous food was working, and see if anything had changed. The reserved doctor tried talking to Haru about the situation, however the usually docile (when White, anyway) ox was brusque with him, giving one word answers, if at all. It was understandable. Haru was exhausted, confused, and terrified about what was going to happen to Yuki. Hatori realised this, and so did not push the young boy.
It was strange, though, that Haru hadn't gone Black once during all this, although he had come close when frustrated by lack of success in finding out what was going on, and when he had heard the sounds of confrontation from Akito's quarters. He guessed that it was the simple fact that when he was around Yuki, he was able to keep his cool. That and the need to keep himself from doing something rash and inflaming the situation... that was the last thing Yuki had needed. Yuki was a calming influence on the sensitive ox, and although he had suffered so much, this influence of his was still enough to keep Haru grounded.
Tohru had come to visit, too. She was so worried about Yuki and about Haru as well. "Please, Haru, don't exhaust yourself. Shouldn't you go and get some sleep?"
"No, it's ok. I can sleep here when I have to. Don't worry about me." Haru replied. Trying to be positive for her sake, he continued in a less somber voice, "But, Tohru, you need to go to school, and to your job. You can't let this ruin your dreams or your promises to your mother. Yuki will be ok... and I promise I'll let you know if anything changes. He cares very much for you, and wouldn't want you to suffer because of him."
"Oh, but I can't help it, Haru... I'm so worried about him. I wish I could stay here with him, but you're here, so that's ok. Um... I've been meaning to talk to you, anyway... well, I know how you feel about Yuki, and I'm so happy that he has someone who cares so much for him. I like him too, but I know that I can't be with him in that way. Honestly, it's better if we're just friends.
"That used to bother me, but to tell you the truth it doesn't anymore. I'm actually happy that I can't be with Yuki like that, because I know he has you, always. He does feel for you, you know. I probably know him the best out of almost anyone – he's one of my closest friends – and I can see it; that glow that he tries so furiously to hide whenever conversation turns to you. It sounds so sappy, but you two are made for each other – I just know it!" she sparkled.
"I don't know about that... but it's nice of you to say. Thank you, Tohru. You really are something special." Haru replied, feeling much more hopeful. He would look after Yuki even if there was absolutely no chance for the two of them, but it was so much more comforting to think that there was... maybe. When Tohru left not long after that, she was leaving a much- comforted ox behind to look after her friend. Even though the situation was so dire, she couldn't help the happiness bubbling out of her heart. Maybe, just maybe, something good would come of this mess.
~***~
When Haru slept, it was slumped forward in his chair against the side of Yuki's bed, one of the rat's hands securely encased in his own. He did not sleep much, and mostly sat watching Yuki, or talked to him about school, how good Ayame was being about the whole situation, the weather, anything to try and gently bring him around.
Sometimes, when it became too hard to internalise, Haru allowed the tears to come. He didn't cry often, and certainly never let anyone see, but this was not a typical situation. When he was sure nobody was going to come in he let the sobs wrack their way out of his throat. He was so scared. What... what if Yuki never... Shaking his head roughly, he didn't allow himself to finish. He's going to be ok. He's going to get better. He has to. Otherwise... He couldn't finish that thought either.
~***~
Two days later Hatori had come to Haru with his request. "Please Haru. I've been to see all your teachers, and although not thrilled with your lack of attendance, they are willing to overlook it provided you complete these make-up assignments. You don't want to fail the year, do you?"
"It doesn't matter! Hatori, don't you get it? If... if he doesn't get better... This is so much more important than school! I don't care if I fail or not! It doesn't matter!" Haru hung his head, fists clenched in frustrated anger. He couldn't believe that Hatori wanted him to do something as trivial as homework, when Yuki was... like this.
"I know, Haru. I understand how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer like this..." Hatori trailed off for a minute, thoughts of Kana filling his head. Stiffening his resolve, he continued doggedly. "Which is exactly why you have to do these assignments. You can't let your life stop because of this. I know it's hard, but just think for a moment – would Yuki want you to put your life on hold for him? At least you will have something to do while you wait here with him. What harm can it do? It may even help."
After a few minutes, Haru replied softly. "Just... just go. But leave them here. I suppose I might be able to have a look." Hatori nodded his head and turned to leave, placing the folder on the table by the door. "Hatori," Haru said hesitantly, causing the older man to turn around to face him again, "Could... could you bring me a radio, maybe? I find it a lot easier to study when I listen to music. And... well, thank you. I know Yuki wouldn't want me to stop my life for him, I just couldn't help it. So thank you for helping me." He said no more, but didn't need to. The two regarded each other in perfect understanding for a moment, before Hatori nodded slightly and exited the room.
He came back a little later with a small radio. Haru thanked him, and turned it on ever so quietly, so as not to disturb the comatose rat, and began to plough his way through his first assignment. Algebra. Oh, perfect.
~***~
"I feel so useless! Why wasn't I there to help in the first place? Maybe then he'd be ok..." head down, Ayame leant into Shigure's arms, savouring the contact.
"Aya, do you honestly think that Yuki would have listened to you if you had tried to stop him coming back? What could you have done? You were there when it all fell apart. For once you were there to catch Yuki when he fell. He won't forget that." Sighing indulgently, Shigure squeezed the distraught snake's body tighter, trying to comfort him with his touch as well as his words. It seemed to work.
"Oh Gure, you always know just what to say!" Ayame trilled, feeling as though a dead weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Yes, surely this time Yuki would accept that he did care. Shigure was the only person who could say the right thing again and again. He always knew how to make Ayame feel like some semblance of a decent human being. Snuggling into Shigure's comforting arms, Aya was content to sit in contemplative silence. Everything was going to be ok... as long as Yuki eventually woke up.
~***~
Shigure was not in the best of moods, however, although the close contact of Ayame was helping to bring his normal chirpy personality back into play. He had spent the previous few days looking after Akito. Not an easy task. It was so difficult to try to comfort him, when he had only just begun to understand the troubled boy.
Guilt was gnawing at him; that he hadn't noticed – hadn't even thought about how hard it must be for him. To know... to be told from day one you were going to die in order to save the rest of the family. And we never questioned it, ever. We all secretly hoped that... it would be over quickly, that this evil man wouldn't be able to control us for too much longer. He was so cruel, and we just accepted it. We never once thought to question why.
Now, he was more unsure than ever how to relate to Akito. It had been so easy, he now realised, when it had been black and white – Akito was evil, mad, and that was that. But that wasn't that. Akito had feelings, and this was what made it so difficult. That the boy was aware of his fate, and that it weighed so heavily upon him was not something that any of the Sohma's had taken seriously.
When he woke, Akito turned to face the wall, refusing to meet Shigure's eyes. "Akito... I don't know what to say. We... we always blamed you, never thought about how much you must be hurting. I... I'm so sorry."
Instead of flying into one of his typical insane rages, Akito hugged himself tighter into his blankets and began to cry despite himself. His whole body convulsed as the sobs tore through his body. "Go away... please, just leave me alone... I need to be alone..." he managed to choke out between spasms.
For once, Shigure did not obey the family master. "No! Akito, you need to face it! I will not leave you here to brood, to let this pain you're feeling eat you up inside. This time, you're not alone. I will help you – we will all help you. We've been so blind. But now... now we'll all face it with you. You're not alone." He pulled the frail young man roughly out of his protective ball into a tight hug. "You're not alone, Akito."
This only made the family master cry harder, try as he might to control his tears. "But what can you do? What can any of you do? Even if you now decide that you're going to help me, it doesn't change anything. I'm still going to die! Don't you understand? There's nothing I can do. It's already decided. I..." his head slumped forward against Shigure's chest, "I don't want to die."
"I know, Akito," the thoroughly chastened dog replied "I know. We can't change that... But we can do something. We can give you a chance at life before yours has to end. We can give you the life you never had. All you have to do is hold on until you've had a chance to do all the things you were denied for fear that you'd give out too soon. From now on you won't be just a part of a curse, a necessary evil to be endured – you'll be a person. I promise."
And I mean that. Shigure reaffirmed to himself. I won't let him be alone anymore.
~*^*~
So... what do you think? Please don't flame me! Hope it was ok... till next time then, luv SpringSnow ^_^
Note: Hi everybody! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated sooner! What can I say... there's not really an excuse per se, just a whole lot of work/school/business! I do apologise, and will try to be better in future!
Once again, thanks heaps to all my lovely reviewers – Animegoil, yes I've finally updated – sorry u had to wait so long, glad you're enjoying the story! Chisato Shidou – thankyou! *blushes* I dunno, but it's sweet of you to say! ^_^ CrYsTaLsNoW, matchoupitchounette, Chiharu Ylliana and Sorrowful Memory, thanks so much for the continuing support – I'm glad you like it! ^_^
I can't believe that people actually want me to write another chapter still! Aren't you all sick of me yet? No? YAY!!! Okay, well, Kureno's not in here as I don't know him, and don't want to try to write up an unknown character in character... did that make sense?! And, Tohru is maybe a little out of character? You decide! Please no flames though – I'm doing my very best to make this story believable and worth reading. Enjoy! Reviews appreciated as always. ^_^ SpringSnow
Note: Btw, in reply to one of my reviewers who thought that it was OOC for Haru not to go black and "KICK THAT BASTARD'S ASS!" as I put it in chapter 3... Well, my assumption was that Haru was intelligent enough to realise that even if he were to do so he wouldn't achieve much, as Akito would just retaliate by hurting Yuki more than he had done previously.
Yuki also fears this, which may be part of the reason for his condition in the coming chapter. I did try to allude to this subtly in the paragraph where Haru is thinking about doing just that as the older Sohma's arrive... but obviously I didn't do a good enough job, so here it is for you in plain, subtle-as-a-brick common English. Enjoy! ^_^
Also, please don't feel obliged to read the story if you aren't enjoying it because you think something's off – I don't pretend to be able to impress everyone, and my ego wouldn't be hurt if you decided you couldn't stand it!
Luv u all! SpringSnow ^_^
White Love – Second Chances
"All we can do for Yuki right now is to let him rest. He seems to have exhausted himself in his confrontation with Akito. Hopefully, in time, he will recover, but there's nothing I can do to assist with that." Hatori sighed. Today had been a long day, and it wasn't over yet. It seemed that Yuki had slipped into some sort of coma, for lack of a better word to describe it. The only rationalisation Hatori had been able to come up with was that it was easier for Yuki to not wake up, for the time being at least.
No doubt Yuki was terrified of what was going to happen when he woke up. It seemed inevitable that Akito would mete out a horrific punishment for his outburst. It hadn't been exactly complimentary. What Yuki didn't know, however, was that Akito... well, he had been distraught at Yuki's comments, that was true, but what was surprising was that he seemed... upset at how Yuki was feeling, of all things.
~***~
*Flashback...*
As Yuki finished screaming at the frail family master, Akito slowly slid to the ground, as if in shock. As Shigure caught him, the dog cautiously asked what was the matter.
"He... he really hates me..." a visibly shaken Akito replied, "I... I never meant to hurt him this much. I just lose control... it's as if I have no say over what comes out of my mouth, over what I do to him. The bitterness... I just can't cope with seeing him so happy... when I know I'll never... Never get even a taste of that sort of happiness... When I never even had a chance for that - for life. I guess... I take it out on him... I guess I shouldn't... but... I really went too far this time, huh? I never meant..." he didn't finish.
There was no need for him to. As Shigure and Hatori supported him, for the first time they felt stirrings of compassion for the young, troubled boy half-lying on the floor. I never thought... never even considered it from his point of view. It's... it's so UNFAIR. How can any of us – especially Akito – cope with this? He's still just a boy, confused and scared... so scared, thought Shigure, his serious side understanding the importance of this speech of Akito's.
Hatori merely looked on in shock. He couldn't articulate even to himself how wretched he felt at that moment. How could he have been so uncaring? How could any of them been so blind?
He carried Akito back to his room, and after checking to make sure nothing was physically wrong, left Shigure to watch over him. If anyone could help Akito when he eventually woke up, it was he.
But Yuki... Hatori wasn't sure if anyone could help him now, even Haru.
~***~
Haru sat by Yuki's bed, holding the unconscious rat's hand. His feelings had never been so mixed as at that moment. When he, Hatori, Ayame and Shigure had burst into Akito's room to find Yuki yelling at the family master, Haru's heart had tried to tear out of his chest so it could swell enough to fit in all the emotion it was feeling.
Fear, obviously – he was so afraid of what the family master was going to do to Yuki, and of what he had already done. But almost as strong as that fear was the pride Haru felt for Yuki at that moment, when the four burst in to find him fighting back, finally. He was so... happy that the frail rat had found the strength to stand up to Akito. Where he found that strength, Haru had no idea, but just that he had was enough.
For a few moments after entering the room, the Sohma's stood in the doorway, stunned at the scene enfolding in front of them. It was so fitting, Haru remembered thinking, that Yuki was the one who had finally saved himself from his waking nightmare. It was so unbelievable, and yet so wonderful that where Haru had been helpless, Yuki had managed to escape on his own.
After that, Haru had accompanied Ayame as he carried Yuki back to his room at Hatori's, so the doctor could look him over. Apart from the bloody gashes left from Akito's whip, which were patterned across his torso front and back, Hatori could find little physically wrong with the boy. But he didn't wake, even for a moment. This was more than a simple healing sleep, Hatori was certain. It appeared to be a sort of self-induced coma, in which Yuki had finally escaped the pain. There was no way of telling when - or even if - the delicate rat would awake.
~***~
Since Hatori had shared this information with the other assembled Sohma's eight days ago, Haru had not moved from Yuki's bedside, except to go to the bathroom. (Just being realistic!) Ayame was frequently there also, bringing food for the emotionally drained ox, and sitting with him for as long as he could. However, he was obliged to leave to sleep, and to look after his shop. There was no one else to look after the place, and though employees like Miie did their share, Ayame was a very hands-on person who needed assurances that all was running smoothly.
Hatori came in two or three times a day, to check Yuki's intravenous food was working, and see if anything had changed. The reserved doctor tried talking to Haru about the situation, however the usually docile (when White, anyway) ox was brusque with him, giving one word answers, if at all. It was understandable. Haru was exhausted, confused, and terrified about what was going to happen to Yuki. Hatori realised this, and so did not push the young boy.
It was strange, though, that Haru hadn't gone Black once during all this, although he had come close when frustrated by lack of success in finding out what was going on, and when he had heard the sounds of confrontation from Akito's quarters. He guessed that it was the simple fact that when he was around Yuki, he was able to keep his cool. That and the need to keep himself from doing something rash and inflaming the situation... that was the last thing Yuki had needed. Yuki was a calming influence on the sensitive ox, and although he had suffered so much, this influence of his was still enough to keep Haru grounded.
Tohru had come to visit, too. She was so worried about Yuki and about Haru as well. "Please, Haru, don't exhaust yourself. Shouldn't you go and get some sleep?"
"No, it's ok. I can sleep here when I have to. Don't worry about me." Haru replied. Trying to be positive for her sake, he continued in a less somber voice, "But, Tohru, you need to go to school, and to your job. You can't let this ruin your dreams or your promises to your mother. Yuki will be ok... and I promise I'll let you know if anything changes. He cares very much for you, and wouldn't want you to suffer because of him."
"Oh, but I can't help it, Haru... I'm so worried about him. I wish I could stay here with him, but you're here, so that's ok. Um... I've been meaning to talk to you, anyway... well, I know how you feel about Yuki, and I'm so happy that he has someone who cares so much for him. I like him too, but I know that I can't be with him in that way. Honestly, it's better if we're just friends.
"That used to bother me, but to tell you the truth it doesn't anymore. I'm actually happy that I can't be with Yuki like that, because I know he has you, always. He does feel for you, you know. I probably know him the best out of almost anyone – he's one of my closest friends – and I can see it; that glow that he tries so furiously to hide whenever conversation turns to you. It sounds so sappy, but you two are made for each other – I just know it!" she sparkled.
"I don't know about that... but it's nice of you to say. Thank you, Tohru. You really are something special." Haru replied, feeling much more hopeful. He would look after Yuki even if there was absolutely no chance for the two of them, but it was so much more comforting to think that there was... maybe. When Tohru left not long after that, she was leaving a much- comforted ox behind to look after her friend. Even though the situation was so dire, she couldn't help the happiness bubbling out of her heart. Maybe, just maybe, something good would come of this mess.
~***~
When Haru slept, it was slumped forward in his chair against the side of Yuki's bed, one of the rat's hands securely encased in his own. He did not sleep much, and mostly sat watching Yuki, or talked to him about school, how good Ayame was being about the whole situation, the weather, anything to try and gently bring him around.
Sometimes, when it became too hard to internalise, Haru allowed the tears to come. He didn't cry often, and certainly never let anyone see, but this was not a typical situation. When he was sure nobody was going to come in he let the sobs wrack their way out of his throat. He was so scared. What... what if Yuki never... Shaking his head roughly, he didn't allow himself to finish. He's going to be ok. He's going to get better. He has to. Otherwise... He couldn't finish that thought either.
~***~
Two days later Hatori had come to Haru with his request. "Please Haru. I've been to see all your teachers, and although not thrilled with your lack of attendance, they are willing to overlook it provided you complete these make-up assignments. You don't want to fail the year, do you?"
"It doesn't matter! Hatori, don't you get it? If... if he doesn't get better... This is so much more important than school! I don't care if I fail or not! It doesn't matter!" Haru hung his head, fists clenched in frustrated anger. He couldn't believe that Hatori wanted him to do something as trivial as homework, when Yuki was... like this.
"I know, Haru. I understand how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer like this..." Hatori trailed off for a minute, thoughts of Kana filling his head. Stiffening his resolve, he continued doggedly. "Which is exactly why you have to do these assignments. You can't let your life stop because of this. I know it's hard, but just think for a moment – would Yuki want you to put your life on hold for him? At least you will have something to do while you wait here with him. What harm can it do? It may even help."
After a few minutes, Haru replied softly. "Just... just go. But leave them here. I suppose I might be able to have a look." Hatori nodded his head and turned to leave, placing the folder on the table by the door. "Hatori," Haru said hesitantly, causing the older man to turn around to face him again, "Could... could you bring me a radio, maybe? I find it a lot easier to study when I listen to music. And... well, thank you. I know Yuki wouldn't want me to stop my life for him, I just couldn't help it. So thank you for helping me." He said no more, but didn't need to. The two regarded each other in perfect understanding for a moment, before Hatori nodded slightly and exited the room.
He came back a little later with a small radio. Haru thanked him, and turned it on ever so quietly, so as not to disturb the comatose rat, and began to plough his way through his first assignment. Algebra. Oh, perfect.
~***~
"I feel so useless! Why wasn't I there to help in the first place? Maybe then he'd be ok..." head down, Ayame leant into Shigure's arms, savouring the contact.
"Aya, do you honestly think that Yuki would have listened to you if you had tried to stop him coming back? What could you have done? You were there when it all fell apart. For once you were there to catch Yuki when he fell. He won't forget that." Sighing indulgently, Shigure squeezed the distraught snake's body tighter, trying to comfort him with his touch as well as his words. It seemed to work.
"Oh Gure, you always know just what to say!" Ayame trilled, feeling as though a dead weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Yes, surely this time Yuki would accept that he did care. Shigure was the only person who could say the right thing again and again. He always knew how to make Ayame feel like some semblance of a decent human being. Snuggling into Shigure's comforting arms, Aya was content to sit in contemplative silence. Everything was going to be ok... as long as Yuki eventually woke up.
~***~
Shigure was not in the best of moods, however, although the close contact of Ayame was helping to bring his normal chirpy personality back into play. He had spent the previous few days looking after Akito. Not an easy task. It was so difficult to try to comfort him, when he had only just begun to understand the troubled boy.
Guilt was gnawing at him; that he hadn't noticed – hadn't even thought about how hard it must be for him. To know... to be told from day one you were going to die in order to save the rest of the family. And we never questioned it, ever. We all secretly hoped that... it would be over quickly, that this evil man wouldn't be able to control us for too much longer. He was so cruel, and we just accepted it. We never once thought to question why.
Now, he was more unsure than ever how to relate to Akito. It had been so easy, he now realised, when it had been black and white – Akito was evil, mad, and that was that. But that wasn't that. Akito had feelings, and this was what made it so difficult. That the boy was aware of his fate, and that it weighed so heavily upon him was not something that any of the Sohma's had taken seriously.
When he woke, Akito turned to face the wall, refusing to meet Shigure's eyes. "Akito... I don't know what to say. We... we always blamed you, never thought about how much you must be hurting. I... I'm so sorry."
Instead of flying into one of his typical insane rages, Akito hugged himself tighter into his blankets and began to cry despite himself. His whole body convulsed as the sobs tore through his body. "Go away... please, just leave me alone... I need to be alone..." he managed to choke out between spasms.
For once, Shigure did not obey the family master. "No! Akito, you need to face it! I will not leave you here to brood, to let this pain you're feeling eat you up inside. This time, you're not alone. I will help you – we will all help you. We've been so blind. But now... now we'll all face it with you. You're not alone." He pulled the frail young man roughly out of his protective ball into a tight hug. "You're not alone, Akito."
This only made the family master cry harder, try as he might to control his tears. "But what can you do? What can any of you do? Even if you now decide that you're going to help me, it doesn't change anything. I'm still going to die! Don't you understand? There's nothing I can do. It's already decided. I..." his head slumped forward against Shigure's chest, "I don't want to die."
"I know, Akito," the thoroughly chastened dog replied "I know. We can't change that... But we can do something. We can give you a chance at life before yours has to end. We can give you the life you never had. All you have to do is hold on until you've had a chance to do all the things you were denied for fear that you'd give out too soon. From now on you won't be just a part of a curse, a necessary evil to be endured – you'll be a person. I promise."
And I mean that. Shigure reaffirmed to himself. I won't let him be alone anymore.
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So... what do you think? Please don't flame me! Hope it was ok... till next time then, luv SpringSnow ^_^