Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
Watari stopped his typing suddenly and fell into deep thought, one that changed his entire mood perspective instantly. It hadn't just suddenly dawned on him that it was his birthday. He had been prepared for this day for all of April.
Tsuzuki had confirmed that he'd be back at the end of the day to reclaim the research report that Watari agreed to do for him, but felt the call of minor depression, and was unable to think of anything at the moment. No one had ever remembered his birthday, even before he died, no one cared enough to even suggest a thing.
He stood up slowly, setting 003 on her perch, explaining that he wanted to have a few moments alone. This day always got to him. If only once, just once, someone could bring it up. Even after being a Shinigami for twenty- five years now, not once, did someone bring it up, only Mr. Konoe did when a brand new Shinigami appeared, the moment his soul was yanked from his body, during that horrifying lab explosion, acid chewing through his skin on the spot. His skills as a mechanic and chemist got him a clear spot in the afterlife.
Watari slowly slipped his hands into his pockets and sighed, staring out the window through cinnamon honey-colored eyes, slouching his shoulders. Everything was so bright and full of life, upsetting him greatly. He wanted everything around him to feel as miserable as he felt. It was selfish of him to think that, but at the moment, it didn't bother him.
Everyone had someone or something to love. Tsuzuki had Hisoka, Tatsumi had his work, Konoe had his sweets, and the GuShoShin twins had their research to keep them busy. It's true that Watari had just the same amount as everyone else up there to enjoy, and spent his time wisely doing so, but he felt as if he needed more. He wanted what Tsuzuki and Hisoka shared. He needed and desired that missing link in his life.
Watari's blinking slowed as he watched the cherry blossom petals fall repeatedly from the trees. He was a friend to everyone. There was no one in the entire afterlife that felt foully of him. He was definitely a hard worker, that's for sure.
003 hooted impatiently, awaiting her master to come back to claim her. Watari never looked back, just lowered his head and shut his eyes, removing his glasses free from his face and rubbing his closed eyelids. If only he was a magnificent artist, then he could give life to a companion, someone to listen to his feelings and sympathize with him. Unfortunately, he wasn't that good at all. All he could come up with was 003 for a companion. Letting loose a breath of air, he turned his head to notice the bird nearly tempting to fly over and be with his master. Watari smiled weakly. At least someone appreciated him.
He walked back over to his creation and ran a single finger down her left wing. He had almost wished that 003 could talk, that way at least one voice would make him feel appreciated.
He was about to shed a tear, when he caught himself at the last minute, shutting his eyes. Ever since he was born, he had been alone with no one to turn to. He compared himself with Bon on this one, but at least he was able to find himself someone to be with. It was pretty much love at first...well...no...more like eighth or ninth sight for them. Either way, they had each other, and once again, it all boiled down to him having no one.
As it was just thought about getting back to work to finish the report, there was a knock at the door. He gasped lightly and wiped away any trace of tears or streaking that was on his face, then set his glasses back into place.
"Come in," he said, looking up at the door, trying to act as though nothing was wrong.
To his surprise, he got a visit from the shadow master himself. Tatsumi walked in, carrying a folder in his hands, no doubt filled with things he wanted him to check out.
Tatsumi looked up after shutting the door, smiling at his friend. He opened the folder and started talking to the younger Shinigami, speeches of what he wanted him to research. Yep, here we go again, things everyone else wanted. He did too many favors and got so little back.
Tatsumi was nowhere near finished when he looked up briefly to notice Watari's eyes staring off past the document, off in another place. With the gentle flick of the document into Watari's vision path, he blinked and whispered his apologies.
"Are you feeling okay?" Tatsumi questioned, feeling the side of his friend's face with his cool hand. "You look a little pale. Maybe you should go home for the night."
Watari shook his head, dropping his gaze again. "I need to finish the report for Tsuzuki and Bon. I promised them," he said low, creating a small, sympathetic smile to form on the face of Tatsumi.
"Well, perhaps this can wait then," he added, folding up the contents of the manila envelope and resting it under his arm. Before moving away, he studied Watari briefly. It was odd seeing him anything less than completely energetic and content.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Watari sat down in front of his computer, wishing more than anything that Tatsumi would just leave him. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I got everything here that I need. Books, computer, my own personal lab, I'm just thrilled, entirely."
His cheery façade didn't fool Tatsumi none, especially hearing that drop in his voice when he said he was 'just thrilled'.
Tatsumi let out a tiny breath of air. "Watari-san, if there's anything you ever need...don't be afraid to talk to me."
What I need?! Watari screamed out in his mind. What I need is a friend! Someone who I can trust not to hurt me! Someone who I can trust to be there for me when the tough gets going! Someone just like...Tatsumi Seiichirou.
When his mind choose Tatsumi at that particular moment, mixing in with Tatsumi's offer to come to him if he ever needed anything, an uncontrollable pair of tears slid down his cheeks. No one would ever understand, not even Tatsumi. No matter what, he could never.
"Thanks Tatsumi, I'll bear that in mind," he said, voice failing him at several points. It was entirely noticeable, and it got Tatsumi rather curious.
"Are you sure there's nothing bothering you?"
What's bothering me right now is your presence! Watari's mind cried out. He wanted nothing more right now than to be alone, something he was extremely good at.
"No," Watari said simply, scanning through anything he could on his computer, to try and look busy.
Tatsumi was no fool; he knew exactly what was bothering him. He couldn't read minds like Hisoka, but who needed to when the answer was right in front of your face.
Tatsumi set the manila envelope down on the small table in front of him and leaned up against the desk beside Watari.
"I am extraordinarily busy, Tatsumi-san," Watari said, clicking on any random points on the desktop with the mouse.
"I just thought I'd give you something, Watari-san," Tatsumi said, pulling a medium sized wrapped box out of the middle of nowhere, exposing it to his friend. Watari's eyes went wide. "It's your birthday today, isn't it?" he finished, grinning from ear to ear.
Watari was speechless. All that could come free from his mouth were utters. He took the box with trembling hands.
"Be careful, it's breakable, so don't shake it."
Acting as a child on Christmas morning, Watari savagely destroyed the innocent paper, tearing it to shreds, before coming down to a mere brown cardboard box. He hesitated for a second, before tearing up the flaps, heart stopping at what he saw before him.
"It's not much, but it was pretty expensive. Of course, coming from a guy like me, everything's expensive," Tatsumi added with a chuckle, trying to break the silence somehow.
It was everything to Watari, right down to the thumb-sized beakers. Tatsumi went out of his way to get the deprived Shinigami more lab equipment, despite the harsh prices.
It was no surprise to Tatsumi when Watari ended up breaking down into tears as he felt the equipment with his fingertips, lightly fingering the precious glass from top to bottom. "This is my first present," he added with a tiny sob.
Tatsumi took out his handkerchief and lightly dabbed where the tears have stopped trailing, only to soon be replaced with new ones.
"Don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."
Watari hid his face. "Do you know?" he asked, low.
"Of course," Tatsumi said, small and caring, kneeling down beside his friend, laying his hand on his arm to comfort him. "I hear you all the time. Watari-san, I don't want you to be sad over this any more. If you need me, I'm here. For whatever it may be, okay? Tsuzuki and Hisoka feel the same way. You're our friend."
"Do they notice my hidden emotions too?" he whispered, hoping the answer was positive. He didn't even want to go as far as Tatsumi noticing them.
"I don't think so," Tatsumi said, then sighed, taking the present off of Watari's lap, taking his hands in his own. He could tell Watari was uncomfortable with this position, but it didn't matter to him. He ignored the amber-eyed man enough in his lifetime.
"Do I fail as a friend?" he asked, causing Watari's eyes to twitch slightly. A pause occurred between them. "Look into my eyes, Watari-san."
Watari hadn't done it willingly, so Tatsumi helped him out. He cupped his chin and turned his head to meet each other's gaze. Watari's heart rate sped up as he had no choice but to look directly into the dark blue orbs in his path. There was a slight glare, bouncing off the lenses to his spectacles, but they could still be clearly seen.
"No...Tatsumi-san, you don't. I've just been so wrapped up in mood swings and envy lately, it seems like I don't notice much anymore."
"What are you envious about?" the shadow master asked, removing his hand from Watari's jaw, and trailing his fingers down his hair, to the bow, then to the tips.
"Everyone's got something the love, or SOMEONE they love, and I just don't fit in. I love being what I am; it's only the simple fact of wanting more out of it. I don't know, maybe I'm greedy. Maybe I'm just wasting my time here. Maybe I'm—"
He was sharply cut off by the invasion of Tatsumi's mouth over his, muffling any words that came afterwards. Watari's eyes sprang open upon immediate contact, and creating a sudden jolting feeling in his chest.
Tatsumi dabbed Watari's bottom lip, as permission to open his mouth. Watari couldn't refuse. It didn't matter who it was with, Watari wanted someone to share feelings with, and if it had to be the servant and secretary of Konoe Kacho, then so be it. Watari opened his mouth and avidly kissed the older man back.
His body fell numb completely, hearing Tatsumi's moans of pleasure.
When they pulled apart, a widely grinning Tatsumi greeted him. Tatsumi placed his hand to Watari's cheek and rubbed it lightly with his thumb.
"Happy birthday, my love."
Grasper's note: WAAAH that was so beautiful! Review please!
Watari stopped his typing suddenly and fell into deep thought, one that changed his entire mood perspective instantly. It hadn't just suddenly dawned on him that it was his birthday. He had been prepared for this day for all of April.
Tsuzuki had confirmed that he'd be back at the end of the day to reclaim the research report that Watari agreed to do for him, but felt the call of minor depression, and was unable to think of anything at the moment. No one had ever remembered his birthday, even before he died, no one cared enough to even suggest a thing.
He stood up slowly, setting 003 on her perch, explaining that he wanted to have a few moments alone. This day always got to him. If only once, just once, someone could bring it up. Even after being a Shinigami for twenty- five years now, not once, did someone bring it up, only Mr. Konoe did when a brand new Shinigami appeared, the moment his soul was yanked from his body, during that horrifying lab explosion, acid chewing through his skin on the spot. His skills as a mechanic and chemist got him a clear spot in the afterlife.
Watari slowly slipped his hands into his pockets and sighed, staring out the window through cinnamon honey-colored eyes, slouching his shoulders. Everything was so bright and full of life, upsetting him greatly. He wanted everything around him to feel as miserable as he felt. It was selfish of him to think that, but at the moment, it didn't bother him.
Everyone had someone or something to love. Tsuzuki had Hisoka, Tatsumi had his work, Konoe had his sweets, and the GuShoShin twins had their research to keep them busy. It's true that Watari had just the same amount as everyone else up there to enjoy, and spent his time wisely doing so, but he felt as if he needed more. He wanted what Tsuzuki and Hisoka shared. He needed and desired that missing link in his life.
Watari's blinking slowed as he watched the cherry blossom petals fall repeatedly from the trees. He was a friend to everyone. There was no one in the entire afterlife that felt foully of him. He was definitely a hard worker, that's for sure.
003 hooted impatiently, awaiting her master to come back to claim her. Watari never looked back, just lowered his head and shut his eyes, removing his glasses free from his face and rubbing his closed eyelids. If only he was a magnificent artist, then he could give life to a companion, someone to listen to his feelings and sympathize with him. Unfortunately, he wasn't that good at all. All he could come up with was 003 for a companion. Letting loose a breath of air, he turned his head to notice the bird nearly tempting to fly over and be with his master. Watari smiled weakly. At least someone appreciated him.
He walked back over to his creation and ran a single finger down her left wing. He had almost wished that 003 could talk, that way at least one voice would make him feel appreciated.
He was about to shed a tear, when he caught himself at the last minute, shutting his eyes. Ever since he was born, he had been alone with no one to turn to. He compared himself with Bon on this one, but at least he was able to find himself someone to be with. It was pretty much love at first...well...no...more like eighth or ninth sight for them. Either way, they had each other, and once again, it all boiled down to him having no one.
As it was just thought about getting back to work to finish the report, there was a knock at the door. He gasped lightly and wiped away any trace of tears or streaking that was on his face, then set his glasses back into place.
"Come in," he said, looking up at the door, trying to act as though nothing was wrong.
To his surprise, he got a visit from the shadow master himself. Tatsumi walked in, carrying a folder in his hands, no doubt filled with things he wanted him to check out.
Tatsumi looked up after shutting the door, smiling at his friend. He opened the folder and started talking to the younger Shinigami, speeches of what he wanted him to research. Yep, here we go again, things everyone else wanted. He did too many favors and got so little back.
Tatsumi was nowhere near finished when he looked up briefly to notice Watari's eyes staring off past the document, off in another place. With the gentle flick of the document into Watari's vision path, he blinked and whispered his apologies.
"Are you feeling okay?" Tatsumi questioned, feeling the side of his friend's face with his cool hand. "You look a little pale. Maybe you should go home for the night."
Watari shook his head, dropping his gaze again. "I need to finish the report for Tsuzuki and Bon. I promised them," he said low, creating a small, sympathetic smile to form on the face of Tatsumi.
"Well, perhaps this can wait then," he added, folding up the contents of the manila envelope and resting it under his arm. Before moving away, he studied Watari briefly. It was odd seeing him anything less than completely energetic and content.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
Watari sat down in front of his computer, wishing more than anything that Tatsumi would just leave him. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I got everything here that I need. Books, computer, my own personal lab, I'm just thrilled, entirely."
His cheery façade didn't fool Tatsumi none, especially hearing that drop in his voice when he said he was 'just thrilled'.
Tatsumi let out a tiny breath of air. "Watari-san, if there's anything you ever need...don't be afraid to talk to me."
What I need?! Watari screamed out in his mind. What I need is a friend! Someone who I can trust not to hurt me! Someone who I can trust to be there for me when the tough gets going! Someone just like...Tatsumi Seiichirou.
When his mind choose Tatsumi at that particular moment, mixing in with Tatsumi's offer to come to him if he ever needed anything, an uncontrollable pair of tears slid down his cheeks. No one would ever understand, not even Tatsumi. No matter what, he could never.
"Thanks Tatsumi, I'll bear that in mind," he said, voice failing him at several points. It was entirely noticeable, and it got Tatsumi rather curious.
"Are you sure there's nothing bothering you?"
What's bothering me right now is your presence! Watari's mind cried out. He wanted nothing more right now than to be alone, something he was extremely good at.
"No," Watari said simply, scanning through anything he could on his computer, to try and look busy.
Tatsumi was no fool; he knew exactly what was bothering him. He couldn't read minds like Hisoka, but who needed to when the answer was right in front of your face.
Tatsumi set the manila envelope down on the small table in front of him and leaned up against the desk beside Watari.
"I am extraordinarily busy, Tatsumi-san," Watari said, clicking on any random points on the desktop with the mouse.
"I just thought I'd give you something, Watari-san," Tatsumi said, pulling a medium sized wrapped box out of the middle of nowhere, exposing it to his friend. Watari's eyes went wide. "It's your birthday today, isn't it?" he finished, grinning from ear to ear.
Watari was speechless. All that could come free from his mouth were utters. He took the box with trembling hands.
"Be careful, it's breakable, so don't shake it."
Acting as a child on Christmas morning, Watari savagely destroyed the innocent paper, tearing it to shreds, before coming down to a mere brown cardboard box. He hesitated for a second, before tearing up the flaps, heart stopping at what he saw before him.
"It's not much, but it was pretty expensive. Of course, coming from a guy like me, everything's expensive," Tatsumi added with a chuckle, trying to break the silence somehow.
It was everything to Watari, right down to the thumb-sized beakers. Tatsumi went out of his way to get the deprived Shinigami more lab equipment, despite the harsh prices.
It was no surprise to Tatsumi when Watari ended up breaking down into tears as he felt the equipment with his fingertips, lightly fingering the precious glass from top to bottom. "This is my first present," he added with a tiny sob.
Tatsumi took out his handkerchief and lightly dabbed where the tears have stopped trailing, only to soon be replaced with new ones.
"Don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."
Watari hid his face. "Do you know?" he asked, low.
"Of course," Tatsumi said, small and caring, kneeling down beside his friend, laying his hand on his arm to comfort him. "I hear you all the time. Watari-san, I don't want you to be sad over this any more. If you need me, I'm here. For whatever it may be, okay? Tsuzuki and Hisoka feel the same way. You're our friend."
"Do they notice my hidden emotions too?" he whispered, hoping the answer was positive. He didn't even want to go as far as Tatsumi noticing them.
"I don't think so," Tatsumi said, then sighed, taking the present off of Watari's lap, taking his hands in his own. He could tell Watari was uncomfortable with this position, but it didn't matter to him. He ignored the amber-eyed man enough in his lifetime.
"Do I fail as a friend?" he asked, causing Watari's eyes to twitch slightly. A pause occurred between them. "Look into my eyes, Watari-san."
Watari hadn't done it willingly, so Tatsumi helped him out. He cupped his chin and turned his head to meet each other's gaze. Watari's heart rate sped up as he had no choice but to look directly into the dark blue orbs in his path. There was a slight glare, bouncing off the lenses to his spectacles, but they could still be clearly seen.
"No...Tatsumi-san, you don't. I've just been so wrapped up in mood swings and envy lately, it seems like I don't notice much anymore."
"What are you envious about?" the shadow master asked, removing his hand from Watari's jaw, and trailing his fingers down his hair, to the bow, then to the tips.
"Everyone's got something the love, or SOMEONE they love, and I just don't fit in. I love being what I am; it's only the simple fact of wanting more out of it. I don't know, maybe I'm greedy. Maybe I'm just wasting my time here. Maybe I'm—"
He was sharply cut off by the invasion of Tatsumi's mouth over his, muffling any words that came afterwards. Watari's eyes sprang open upon immediate contact, and creating a sudden jolting feeling in his chest.
Tatsumi dabbed Watari's bottom lip, as permission to open his mouth. Watari couldn't refuse. It didn't matter who it was with, Watari wanted someone to share feelings with, and if it had to be the servant and secretary of Konoe Kacho, then so be it. Watari opened his mouth and avidly kissed the older man back.
His body fell numb completely, hearing Tatsumi's moans of pleasure.
When they pulled apart, a widely grinning Tatsumi greeted him. Tatsumi placed his hand to Watari's cheek and rubbed it lightly with his thumb.
"Happy birthday, my love."
Grasper's note: WAAAH that was so beautiful! Review please!