Title - I Don't Know
By - PheonixFireBlack
Summary - One-shot. I seem to be on a one-shot roll lately. Based on a
scene in the moive; Did you ever wonder just WHY Zack kept saying "I don't
know." in that scene where Dewey was asking and going on about the bully
thing? No? Well, I guess I did the thinking for you. Click, read, reaviews
appreciated
Genre - General/Angst-y-ish
Category - School of Rock
Feedback - Just review, please?
Critisism - Yes, please. Flame if you must, but I see that it's pointless.
Oh well, I guess I shouldn't worry about what I can't control, right?
Disclaimer - I own it all. It's all mine. *rolls eyes* Yeah...RIGHT! I
don't own School of Rock or anything within except maybe the odd, yet
seemingly already overused plot held within.
Notes - I hope you guys like this one. You don't have to, I don't guess,
but it would be nice. lol. Anyway, like the summary says, just based on the
scene in the class room before "Step off" comes into play and all...Just
kind of WHY Zack kept saying "I don't know." Most of the scene will play
out like it did in the movie, only after each "I don't know", there will be
a small flashback and...yeah...lol. I'll just let you read now *waves*
~*~*~*~
Zack was sitting in class, listening to Mr. S go on about what really ticked people off. He sighed silently as he looked around the classroom, listening to eveyone's comments. "Shut the hell up Shneebly." Zack rolled his eyes. He knew that Freddy had just been waiting to be able to say something like that. Suddenly, Mr. S asked him something. It snapped him out of his distant thoughts.
"So, what would you say to a bully, Zack?" The man asked.
Zack blinked and looked at him as he approached the desk. "I don't know..."
~*~Flashback~*~
Zack had just come home and it was almost eleven at night. If he was caught, his dad would probably kill him. He hadn't been home at all since he had left for school this morning. This was exactly why he was sneaking around as quietly as possible. It had worked fairly well so far. He had come in the back door and made it through the kitchen and into the living room. However, all good things must come to an end at some time. He had made it up the stairs with no sound and almost halfway down the hallway. However, probelms arose at this point, and he happened to be right outside his parents bedroom door.
He had his book bag slung over his right shoulder, his guitar, case and all in his left hand, and a magazine in his right hand when it happened. He wrinkled his nose a few times in an attempt to make the strange tingling sensation go away. It only had to last until he reached his room, which was only three doors down the hallway. He sighed silently, thinking it had worked; Life has a strange way of coming back and slapping you in the face. Just before he started towards his room again, the strange sensation came back and he had no time to do anything at all. It all happened in seemingly one moment: He sneezed and the guitar and magazine both fell from his hands, simply out of the automatic reaction to cover his mouth and nose. "Dammit..." He muttered. He was dead. There was no way that his dad hadn't heard that. He closed his eyes and braced himself for anything that might come. He knew he wouldn't have time to get to his room and be natural enough to look asleep, so he just stood there, waiting. "Stupid...freaking...allergies." He muttered to himself as the door to his parents room swung open.
"Zack? What are you doing coming home at eleven at night?"
"I--" Before Zack could finish, his father slammed the door to his bedroom closed and advanced on the ten year old. Zack winced at the sound.
"Why didn't you say something? You didn't even come home to let me know that you were going to be in late? Why? Because you knew I wouldn't agree to you coming in at eleven?"
"No, it's just, I--"
"I don't care! That was rhetorical, Zack!"
"Dad, please...don't--"
~*~End Flashback~*~
"If someone was right up in your grill what would you say?" He pressed.
Zack shrugged, "I don't know."
~*~Flashback~*~
Darren Mooneyham didn't listen to his son. He did. He did like he had been for the past three years. He picked the boy up and shoved him into the staircase banister. Then, he made the boy go downstairs. He turned him around and shoved lightly, making the boy stumble slightly. "What's the matter? No balance?"
"I guess..." Zack muttered, swallowing. He hated that his father was like this. Why his dad? Just...why? And why had-- his thoughts were cut short when they had reached the last stair, leading to the living room, receiving a rough shove in the direction of the couch. "Dad...please--"
"Please, nothing! You don't listen to me, kid! And you're paying for it!"
"Dad, I know that you want me to be a great...business something-or-other, but--"
"But what? That not what you want? That not good enough for you? You takin' lessons from Freddy Jones on how to rebel against your parents?"
"No..." Zack was speaking barely over a whisper.
"Then why couldn't you just be like I asked you? Do what I tell you, what I ask you?"
"Becuase, your plans for me...they don't fit into my plans for myself, dad." Zack swallowed. He couldn't believe he had just said that; He had just made a come back at his father. He closed his eyes. This was a BIG mistake.
"What was that?"
"I-I said..."
"I heard you, kid." Darren said harshly and roughly shoving his son to the floor.
Zack stared up at his father, leaning back on his hands from his position on the floor. "Dad...I...I didn't mean that in any way to--"
~*~End Flashback~*~
"Come on, if someone was shovin' you around, tellin' you what to do, what would you say?"
"I don't know, ok?" He said sharply. This was starting to get annoying and a little repititious.
~*~Flashback~*~
"Get up."
Zack did as his father told him. He couldn't handle much more of this.
"Go over there." Darren said, pointing towards where the fireplace was.
"Why?" Zack whispered.
"Because I told you to. Now, GO!" He nodded and started speaking again: "Oh, and you can't be friends with that...Freddy Jones any more."
Zack started towards the fireplace but stopped, turning to face his father. "Why?" He repeated, reaching his breaking point, "You gonna make me meet my life's end like you did mom?" He had tears in his eyes now. His mother had been the only reason he'd ever come home before. But she had been gone for almost two years now.
Darren looked slightly taken aback by his son's comment, but quickly recovered. "Son...how many times do I have to tell you? I didn't do anything to your mother except love her! She killed herself! I told her she didn't need those pills, but she didn't listen to me, Zack!"
"Give me a break! You shoved the other three pills down her throat! You made her take them! You killed her, dad!"
"No, I didn't, Zack. I loved your mother, but she didn't seem to love me, herself, or even you for that matter, enough to stay here. You'll have to face it one day, Zack. Your mother comitted suicide!" Darren yelled. "Now...go over there where I told you."
Zack turned away from his father, closing his eyes and letting the tears slide down his cheeks. Darren had to be wrong. His mother wouldn't have killed herself. His father had to have done it. Bianca Mooneyham loved life too much to take it from herself. It just didn't add up! Instead of going to the fireplace like his father asked him to, Zack simply looked over his shoulder at the man once more and shook his head, running out the front door, letting it slam behind him.
~*~End Flashback~*~
The rest of the day at school, Zack had been off. It was all Mr. S' fault. Why had he brough any of that stuff up in class today? The events were still fresh in his mind, it all only having happened yesterday. Zack didn't realize that anyone was following him as he made his way to his locker to leave school. He probably wouldn't have noticed either, if they hadn't said anything.
"Zack!"
At first, Zack thought he was hearing things, but then someone grabbed his arm and turned him to face them. It was Freddy. "What do you want?" Zack muttered, slighly agitated.
"Dude, your my best friend, what do you mean 'what do you want'? I wanna hang out."
"I...I don't think we can hang out anymore, Freddy." Zack turned away and continued towards his locker.
"Wait a minute, why not?" Freddy kept pace with his dark-haired friend.
"We just...can't, ok?"
"Man, what's with you? You've been off all day."
"What do you mean...off?" Zack asked, stopping and leaning against the nearby wall. He quickly retreated from this position and winced.
Freddy frowned. What was going on? "Zack..what's going on? Something's up, I know it is, so what is it?"
"It's nothing, ok? Just leave me alone, alright?"
"No, it's not alright. I know something's bothering you, and you're going to tell me what it is one way or the other."
"And what are my options?"
"One: Tell me on your own will right now. Two: I'll force it out of you."
"You serious?
Freddy looked serious as a heart attack.
"And just how would you force it out of me, Freddy?" Zack asked in a nonchalant tone, trying to go towards his locker again.
Freddy stopped him. "Zack...I swear to God that I if I have to, I will go to the janitor's closet and duct tape you to a chair and wait until you decide that you'll talk if you don't do it of your own will." Freddy was looking Zack directly in the eyes; Freddy never did that unless he was being completely honest.
Zack closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't want to talk about it, Freddy!" He said in a tone that he rarely used. Though rarely used, when Zack spoke harshly, it was obvious that it was real.
"And I don't care that you don't want to talk about it." Freddy said just as harshly.
Zack rolled his eyes and walked off.
Freddy followed him.
"Man, don't you know when to quit?" Zack practically yelled. He was glad that the hallways were practically bare.
"You should know the answer to that after ten years, Mooneyham." He raised his eyebrows and let them fall seconds later, "No."
"Well, there's never a time like the present, so start learning!"
"Sorry, I don't take orders well either." Freddy said.
"Just leave me alone, ok?"
"How about, no?"
"Please, Freddy...just drop it, alright?"
"How about you could tell me to sod off, jump up my ass, and leave you the fuck alone and I wouldn't do it?"
Zack decided that the only way that he would be able to get away from the annoying third-degree interragation was to walk away; so, that was exactly what he did. This plan seemed to work just fine for a few moments. Then, it all backfired and blew up in his face. Freddy was seriously pissed now.
"Zack...what the hell is going on?" The blond boy asked, shoving his friend into the wall. It wasn't as if he had done it to hurt him, just to keep him in place.
"I don't...want to talk about it, alright?" Zack managed after a bit of wincing. He was still sore from the night before.
"Zack...I'm not kidding around. What's going on? I know something's bugging you. The more you deny it, the more you confirm my suspicions."
"Let me down." Zack pleaded, his voice hardly over a whisper.
"You plannin' on leavin'?"
"No..." Zack watched the blond nod and let him down. Zack simply sunk down against the wall into a sitting position. "Why would me denying everything confirm your suspicions?"
"Because...that's how you are, Zack. I know you, man. I know you never get spaced out unless something serious happened. I know that you have an extremely odd nervous habit of licking your lips and fidgeting. I know that you only use a harsh tone when you need to talk about something, but there's something holding you back. I know that when deny things, whatever it is that your withholding, is true. And I know that you can't stand the fact that I can read you like an open book, from the sheer fact of the look you have on your face right now." The punk-rocker blond smirked.
"Man, what's with you?"
"What'd ya mean?"
"I know we're friends and all that but...that's kind of creepy. Stalker creepy."
"Man, I've known you for like, ten years."
"Knowing a nervous habit of mine?" Zack sounded doubtful about Freddy being about to explain that one.
"Man...I'm not stupid. I saw you trying to ask Jessie McKnight out the other day. And a girl or two before that as well." Freddy smirked. Zack seemed to always be able to amuse him to no end.
"Whatever, man."
"So...what's going on?"
"Don't you ever drop anything?"
"Not when I know it's important."
"How do you know that what's bugging me is important? How do you know it's not something stupid?"
"I told you; you only verbally attack people when your holding back something that you need to talk about."
Zack looked at the floor. Why was it that Freddy could read him so well? Sure, they were best friends for about ten years, but that didn't make Zack think it was any less weird. He couldn't help be uncomfortable in this position; Freddy sitting there in front of him trying to get him to tell him what was going on; Zack barely noticed that he licked his lips. He also hardly noticed that he fidgeting. It wasn't something that most people would see or pay attention to; It wasn't anything big, he just kind of moved his thumbs to be between each of the openings of his fingers, to the tops of his fingers and around again. While he was doing this with his left hand, his right hand was resting on his leg and he was drumming his fingers on the black slack-like pants he had on.
"Man...you're goin' nuts."
"What?" Zack looked up, his dark brown eyes locking his his friend's blue ones. He continued to his nervous movements.
Freddy simply motioned to his hands.
Zack looked down and noticed what he was doing. He felt his lips jerk in an embarrassed smile and he stopped, looking up at Freddy again. Zack hated being the way he was; he could feel a slight heat come to his cheeks, so he looked back down at his lap. This was what sucked; he blushed way too easily.
Freddy laughed. "You amuse me, man."
"Glad to know I'm here for something other than a punching bag." He muttered, not realizing that he had said it loud enough for Freddy to hear.
"What?"
"I--Nothing...it's nothing, Freddy, don't worry about it...I didn't mean that like--"
"Like hell you didn't mean it like it sounded. You meant what you said. What's going on, Zack? Is your dad..."
"No...my dad's not doing anything to me, Freddy." Zack was back on defensive mode.
"You damn well better tell me what's goin' on, or I swear I'll beat the shit out of you until you do."
Everything from the previous night still fresh in his mind, Zack couldn't help the tears that came to his eyes. "Stupid...father..."
"Why?"
"Last night...it was bad, Freddy...it was bad..."
"What? What was bad, Zack?"
Zack licked his lips in the nervous manner that only he could manage, "I didn't get home 'til eleven. Thought I was home free for the night...everything went downhill from the moment that thought crossed my mind. He was shovin' me around...tellin' me what to do...I swear...I thought he was gonna do something more serious, Freddy. Then we got into an argument..."
"About what?"
"I--" Zack barely managed to make the few strangled noises that he made before the tears spilled from his eyes. "I can't believe she's been gone for two years now..." He said, almost lower than a whisper.
Freddy closed his eyes. When he opened them and spoke again, it was in an apologetic tone. "Zack...man, I'm sorry...I forgot...I don't know how I forgot...but...I did. I didn't mean to bring that up, I just--"
Zack shook his head, "It's not your fault...I brought it up last night...last night's still there..." He tapped his left temple with his index finger, "Thinking about last night...that's the first thing that comes to my mind..."
"If you don't mind an' all...what'd he say about it?"
"He told me it wasn't him...told me that she..." He swallowed, "Told me she commited suicide..." Zack had held back the other tears for a few minutes, but his eyes were practically burning now. He blinked and let the tears roll down his cheeks. He didn't care anymore. He knew that Freddy wouldn't say anything and he knew that no one else was there to see him in this state. "Why...Why, Freddy? Why her? Why my mom? Why..." He choked on the last 'Why' and continued to let the tears fall.
"I...I don't know, man...I just...don't know."
So the two boys sat there for minutes on end. Zack against the wall, knees drawn to his chest now, silently crying about his mother; Freddy in front of his friend, legs crossed in an Indian-style, trying not to disurb Zack much at the moment. The strange, silent, dramatic moment ended when the janitor came down the hallway. "What are you two still doin' here?"
"Uh...we were...talking." Freddy said awkwardly.
The man nodded, "Right, right. Well, you two betta get a move on, or you gonna get locked up here pretty quick, boys." The man wasn't blind, nor deaf, or stupid. He had been just around the corner and heard their talk. As the two boys stood up and walked towards the exit, he shook his head. "Sad thing, child abuse is..." He muttered to himself before going back to work. "Too bad that kid will most likely endure it..." He paused and titled his head slightly, "Less tha blond one does something drastic..." And for some reason, the last part seemed very high and likely, which would probably be for the best in the end.
~*~*~*~
Zack and Freddy walked in silence for a few minutes. Zack was letting the last of his tears flow down his cheeks and Freddy just wasn't sure what to say at the moment. After everything was all said and done--more just done in the literal sense than said--Zack stopped and spoke. "I can't go home...but if I don't he'll kill me next time he sees me." He closed his eyes, "Got your cell?"
Freddy nodded and took it out of his bag, handing it to his dark-haired freind.
"Can I stay at your place tonight?"
"I don't see why not." He shrugged and watched his friend.
Zack nodded and turned the phone on, dialing his dad's work number.
"Hello, how may I direct your call?" The bored girl with her Southern drawl, on the other line asked, snapping her gum.
"Uh, may I speak to...Darren Mooneyham?"
"May I ask who this is?"
"His son."
"Zack! Hey, sweetie!"
"Hey, Virginia." Zack smiled a little, though it was a sad one.
"I've told you! Call me Gin!"
"Right...Gin...I'll remember that."
"Alright, give me a sec and I'll put your through, hun."
"Hello?" The man sounded very business-like, nothing like what he had sounded like last night when he was yelling at his son.
"Dad...I-I'm staying at Freddy's tonight, ok?"
"Alright...glad you let me know before hand." He sounded agitated now.
Zack swallowed, "Right...bye." And with that awkward goodbye, Zack hung up and handed the phone back to Freddy.
"So?"
Zack shrugged, "Come on."
~*~*~*~
That night,as the two boys lay there trying to go to sleep, Zack was starting to think that it was impossible. He jumped with every single noise he heard; a creak of the house, a quick change in sound of the ceileing fan, the sound of the clock in the hallway ticking, everything. He was starting to wonder if he would ever get to sleep tonight. Zack had the feeling that when it came, it wouldn't be for long.
Freddy lay there on his bed, listening to the silence of his room. Ok, so it was completely silent with Zack jumping every fifteen seconds, but it was silent enough. Freddy couldn't help but wonder about Zack. Maybe he should try and talk to him again...but that might just bring him to tears again, what with half of everything revolving around his mother and all. He heard the now familiar sound of Zack twitching and squirming in the sleepingbag on the floor. He sighed and sat up, leaning over towards his dark-headed friend, "Zack?" He heard Zack jump again.
"Yeah?"
"Are you really that freaked out about all this?"
"What...what'd ya mean?"
Freddy could hear the boy below him lick his lips and he shook his head. "I mean, your jumping every ten seconds. I'm starting to worry about you, Zack."
"You just don't know what it's like...your parents are fine with you being in the bad...and you still have parents...I've only got my dad. Man...everything was so much better before...ya know...why'd he have to kill her?"
Freddy sighed, he could feel another crying session coming on. "Zack..."
"Yeah?" His voice was already cracking.
"Come here..."
"What?"
"Just...come here."
Zack frowned but did as he was told, getting up and sitting on the bed. "What the hell, man?"
"Listen..." Freddy said quietly.
Zack practically held his breath and shifted his eyes from left, to right, left, to right. "What am I supposed to be listening for?"
"Exactly."
"What?"
"There isn't anything to hear, is there?"
"What's that got to do with--"
"I'm the interragator for the moment, answer the question."
"No...but--"
"Then why the hell are you jumping like a frog trapped under a box or something down there?"
"I...you just don't understand, Freddy...you don't know what he looked like last night...after that...I dunno, I guess I'm just paranoid, but...man, it's almost like someone enhanced my hearing. I hear everything...every little noise freaks me out. The ticking of the clock in the hallway; The creak of the house; a change in the sound of the ceiling fan...everything, man."
"This is insane, but if your going to stay up all night, be glad that it's a Friday...right?"
Zack shrugged, "I guess..."
"So..."
Zack couldn't help but shudder at the odd sensation running down his spine. "God, what is wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you...your dad went weird on you last night...you have every right to be freaked out, man."
"Not to mention that he killed my mother two years ago." Zack shook his head. Why had he mentioned anything about her? And now of all times! Why couldn't he get his mind off her for just this night? "Why can't I just keep my damn mouth shut? Why can't I keep my mind off her for one night?" He was almost shouting. Zack could feel the prickling sensation of the tears brimming in his eyes.
"Man...you've dealt like this in a way I never would have been able to. With only two years havin' gone by...I think you've taken it all incredably well, man. I know I wouldn't be in the position you are. My mind would be occupied with my mom all the time for probably nearly five years afterwards."
"But I don't want to think about her, Freddy...yet...at the same time...part of me says that I do want to...God, I'm confused."
"Sorry, man, but I can do anything about all this."
An odd silence fell between the two boys. Freddy simply sat there, staring at his friend, wondering what was going through his mind. Zack sat there and played with the sheet on Freddy's bed. Neither of the boys knew what to say, but they knew that now they had started talking, they wouldn't be able to get to sleep for quite some time now. Freddy was the one to break the God-awful silence. "Man, one of us has to talk..."
"About what?"
"I have no clue..." He paused, "But I can't do silence unless we're going to bed."
"I could always give it another shot." Zack joked.
"You want to?"
"Yeah...kinda tired, ya know?"
"Alright, man, whatever. Just...Try not to be so jumpy this time."
Zack shook his head and smiled a small smile as he went back down to the sleeping bag on the floor that was to serve as his bed for the night, and possibly the weekend. After a few moments of silence, Zack couldn't resist saying on last thing. He held up the "rock" sign as he spoke, "For those about to sleep, I wish upon you lots of z's."
Freddy laughed. He presented the rock sign as well, "Back atcha, man."
~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~
Zack was sitting in class, listening to Mr. S go on about what really ticked people off. He sighed silently as he looked around the classroom, listening to eveyone's comments. "Shut the hell up Shneebly." Zack rolled his eyes. He knew that Freddy had just been waiting to be able to say something like that. Suddenly, Mr. S asked him something. It snapped him out of his distant thoughts.
"So, what would you say to a bully, Zack?" The man asked.
Zack blinked and looked at him as he approached the desk. "I don't know..."
~*~Flashback~*~
Zack had just come home and it was almost eleven at night. If he was caught, his dad would probably kill him. He hadn't been home at all since he had left for school this morning. This was exactly why he was sneaking around as quietly as possible. It had worked fairly well so far. He had come in the back door and made it through the kitchen and into the living room. However, all good things must come to an end at some time. He had made it up the stairs with no sound and almost halfway down the hallway. However, probelms arose at this point, and he happened to be right outside his parents bedroom door.
He had his book bag slung over his right shoulder, his guitar, case and all in his left hand, and a magazine in his right hand when it happened. He wrinkled his nose a few times in an attempt to make the strange tingling sensation go away. It only had to last until he reached his room, which was only three doors down the hallway. He sighed silently, thinking it had worked; Life has a strange way of coming back and slapping you in the face. Just before he started towards his room again, the strange sensation came back and he had no time to do anything at all. It all happened in seemingly one moment: He sneezed and the guitar and magazine both fell from his hands, simply out of the automatic reaction to cover his mouth and nose. "Dammit..." He muttered. He was dead. There was no way that his dad hadn't heard that. He closed his eyes and braced himself for anything that might come. He knew he wouldn't have time to get to his room and be natural enough to look asleep, so he just stood there, waiting. "Stupid...freaking...allergies." He muttered to himself as the door to his parents room swung open.
"Zack? What are you doing coming home at eleven at night?"
"I--" Before Zack could finish, his father slammed the door to his bedroom closed and advanced on the ten year old. Zack winced at the sound.
"Why didn't you say something? You didn't even come home to let me know that you were going to be in late? Why? Because you knew I wouldn't agree to you coming in at eleven?"
"No, it's just, I--"
"I don't care! That was rhetorical, Zack!"
"Dad, please...don't--"
~*~End Flashback~*~
"If someone was right up in your grill what would you say?" He pressed.
Zack shrugged, "I don't know."
~*~Flashback~*~
Darren Mooneyham didn't listen to his son. He did. He did like he had been for the past three years. He picked the boy up and shoved him into the staircase banister. Then, he made the boy go downstairs. He turned him around and shoved lightly, making the boy stumble slightly. "What's the matter? No balance?"
"I guess..." Zack muttered, swallowing. He hated that his father was like this. Why his dad? Just...why? And why had-- his thoughts were cut short when they had reached the last stair, leading to the living room, receiving a rough shove in the direction of the couch. "Dad...please--"
"Please, nothing! You don't listen to me, kid! And you're paying for it!"
"Dad, I know that you want me to be a great...business something-or-other, but--"
"But what? That not what you want? That not good enough for you? You takin' lessons from Freddy Jones on how to rebel against your parents?"
"No..." Zack was speaking barely over a whisper.
"Then why couldn't you just be like I asked you? Do what I tell you, what I ask you?"
"Becuase, your plans for me...they don't fit into my plans for myself, dad." Zack swallowed. He couldn't believe he had just said that; He had just made a come back at his father. He closed his eyes. This was a BIG mistake.
"What was that?"
"I-I said..."
"I heard you, kid." Darren said harshly and roughly shoving his son to the floor.
Zack stared up at his father, leaning back on his hands from his position on the floor. "Dad...I...I didn't mean that in any way to--"
~*~End Flashback~*~
"Come on, if someone was shovin' you around, tellin' you what to do, what would you say?"
"I don't know, ok?" He said sharply. This was starting to get annoying and a little repititious.
~*~Flashback~*~
"Get up."
Zack did as his father told him. He couldn't handle much more of this.
"Go over there." Darren said, pointing towards where the fireplace was.
"Why?" Zack whispered.
"Because I told you to. Now, GO!" He nodded and started speaking again: "Oh, and you can't be friends with that...Freddy Jones any more."
Zack started towards the fireplace but stopped, turning to face his father. "Why?" He repeated, reaching his breaking point, "You gonna make me meet my life's end like you did mom?" He had tears in his eyes now. His mother had been the only reason he'd ever come home before. But she had been gone for almost two years now.
Darren looked slightly taken aback by his son's comment, but quickly recovered. "Son...how many times do I have to tell you? I didn't do anything to your mother except love her! She killed herself! I told her she didn't need those pills, but she didn't listen to me, Zack!"
"Give me a break! You shoved the other three pills down her throat! You made her take them! You killed her, dad!"
"No, I didn't, Zack. I loved your mother, but she didn't seem to love me, herself, or even you for that matter, enough to stay here. You'll have to face it one day, Zack. Your mother comitted suicide!" Darren yelled. "Now...go over there where I told you."
Zack turned away from his father, closing his eyes and letting the tears slide down his cheeks. Darren had to be wrong. His mother wouldn't have killed herself. His father had to have done it. Bianca Mooneyham loved life too much to take it from herself. It just didn't add up! Instead of going to the fireplace like his father asked him to, Zack simply looked over his shoulder at the man once more and shook his head, running out the front door, letting it slam behind him.
~*~End Flashback~*~
The rest of the day at school, Zack had been off. It was all Mr. S' fault. Why had he brough any of that stuff up in class today? The events were still fresh in his mind, it all only having happened yesterday. Zack didn't realize that anyone was following him as he made his way to his locker to leave school. He probably wouldn't have noticed either, if they hadn't said anything.
"Zack!"
At first, Zack thought he was hearing things, but then someone grabbed his arm and turned him to face them. It was Freddy. "What do you want?" Zack muttered, slighly agitated.
"Dude, your my best friend, what do you mean 'what do you want'? I wanna hang out."
"I...I don't think we can hang out anymore, Freddy." Zack turned away and continued towards his locker.
"Wait a minute, why not?" Freddy kept pace with his dark-haired friend.
"We just...can't, ok?"
"Man, what's with you? You've been off all day."
"What do you mean...off?" Zack asked, stopping and leaning against the nearby wall. He quickly retreated from this position and winced.
Freddy frowned. What was going on? "Zack..what's going on? Something's up, I know it is, so what is it?"
"It's nothing, ok? Just leave me alone, alright?"
"No, it's not alright. I know something's bothering you, and you're going to tell me what it is one way or the other."
"And what are my options?"
"One: Tell me on your own will right now. Two: I'll force it out of you."
"You serious?
Freddy looked serious as a heart attack.
"And just how would you force it out of me, Freddy?" Zack asked in a nonchalant tone, trying to go towards his locker again.
Freddy stopped him. "Zack...I swear to God that I if I have to, I will go to the janitor's closet and duct tape you to a chair and wait until you decide that you'll talk if you don't do it of your own will." Freddy was looking Zack directly in the eyes; Freddy never did that unless he was being completely honest.
Zack closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't want to talk about it, Freddy!" He said in a tone that he rarely used. Though rarely used, when Zack spoke harshly, it was obvious that it was real.
"And I don't care that you don't want to talk about it." Freddy said just as harshly.
Zack rolled his eyes and walked off.
Freddy followed him.
"Man, don't you know when to quit?" Zack practically yelled. He was glad that the hallways were practically bare.
"You should know the answer to that after ten years, Mooneyham." He raised his eyebrows and let them fall seconds later, "No."
"Well, there's never a time like the present, so start learning!"
"Sorry, I don't take orders well either." Freddy said.
"Just leave me alone, ok?"
"How about, no?"
"Please, Freddy...just drop it, alright?"
"How about you could tell me to sod off, jump up my ass, and leave you the fuck alone and I wouldn't do it?"
Zack decided that the only way that he would be able to get away from the annoying third-degree interragation was to walk away; so, that was exactly what he did. This plan seemed to work just fine for a few moments. Then, it all backfired and blew up in his face. Freddy was seriously pissed now.
"Zack...what the hell is going on?" The blond boy asked, shoving his friend into the wall. It wasn't as if he had done it to hurt him, just to keep him in place.
"I don't...want to talk about it, alright?" Zack managed after a bit of wincing. He was still sore from the night before.
"Zack...I'm not kidding around. What's going on? I know something's bugging you. The more you deny it, the more you confirm my suspicions."
"Let me down." Zack pleaded, his voice hardly over a whisper.
"You plannin' on leavin'?"
"No..." Zack watched the blond nod and let him down. Zack simply sunk down against the wall into a sitting position. "Why would me denying everything confirm your suspicions?"
"Because...that's how you are, Zack. I know you, man. I know you never get spaced out unless something serious happened. I know that you have an extremely odd nervous habit of licking your lips and fidgeting. I know that you only use a harsh tone when you need to talk about something, but there's something holding you back. I know that when deny things, whatever it is that your withholding, is true. And I know that you can't stand the fact that I can read you like an open book, from the sheer fact of the look you have on your face right now." The punk-rocker blond smirked.
"Man, what's with you?"
"What'd ya mean?"
"I know we're friends and all that but...that's kind of creepy. Stalker creepy."
"Man, I've known you for like, ten years."
"Knowing a nervous habit of mine?" Zack sounded doubtful about Freddy being about to explain that one.
"Man...I'm not stupid. I saw you trying to ask Jessie McKnight out the other day. And a girl or two before that as well." Freddy smirked. Zack seemed to always be able to amuse him to no end.
"Whatever, man."
"So...what's going on?"
"Don't you ever drop anything?"
"Not when I know it's important."
"How do you know that what's bugging me is important? How do you know it's not something stupid?"
"I told you; you only verbally attack people when your holding back something that you need to talk about."
Zack looked at the floor. Why was it that Freddy could read him so well? Sure, they were best friends for about ten years, but that didn't make Zack think it was any less weird. He couldn't help be uncomfortable in this position; Freddy sitting there in front of him trying to get him to tell him what was going on; Zack barely noticed that he licked his lips. He also hardly noticed that he fidgeting. It wasn't something that most people would see or pay attention to; It wasn't anything big, he just kind of moved his thumbs to be between each of the openings of his fingers, to the tops of his fingers and around again. While he was doing this with his left hand, his right hand was resting on his leg and he was drumming his fingers on the black slack-like pants he had on.
"Man...you're goin' nuts."
"What?" Zack looked up, his dark brown eyes locking his his friend's blue ones. He continued to his nervous movements.
Freddy simply motioned to his hands.
Zack looked down and noticed what he was doing. He felt his lips jerk in an embarrassed smile and he stopped, looking up at Freddy again. Zack hated being the way he was; he could feel a slight heat come to his cheeks, so he looked back down at his lap. This was what sucked; he blushed way too easily.
Freddy laughed. "You amuse me, man."
"Glad to know I'm here for something other than a punching bag." He muttered, not realizing that he had said it loud enough for Freddy to hear.
"What?"
"I--Nothing...it's nothing, Freddy, don't worry about it...I didn't mean that like--"
"Like hell you didn't mean it like it sounded. You meant what you said. What's going on, Zack? Is your dad..."
"No...my dad's not doing anything to me, Freddy." Zack was back on defensive mode.
"You damn well better tell me what's goin' on, or I swear I'll beat the shit out of you until you do."
Everything from the previous night still fresh in his mind, Zack couldn't help the tears that came to his eyes. "Stupid...father..."
"Why?"
"Last night...it was bad, Freddy...it was bad..."
"What? What was bad, Zack?"
Zack licked his lips in the nervous manner that only he could manage, "I didn't get home 'til eleven. Thought I was home free for the night...everything went downhill from the moment that thought crossed my mind. He was shovin' me around...tellin' me what to do...I swear...I thought he was gonna do something more serious, Freddy. Then we got into an argument..."
"About what?"
"I--" Zack barely managed to make the few strangled noises that he made before the tears spilled from his eyes. "I can't believe she's been gone for two years now..." He said, almost lower than a whisper.
Freddy closed his eyes. When he opened them and spoke again, it was in an apologetic tone. "Zack...man, I'm sorry...I forgot...I don't know how I forgot...but...I did. I didn't mean to bring that up, I just--"
Zack shook his head, "It's not your fault...I brought it up last night...last night's still there..." He tapped his left temple with his index finger, "Thinking about last night...that's the first thing that comes to my mind..."
"If you don't mind an' all...what'd he say about it?"
"He told me it wasn't him...told me that she..." He swallowed, "Told me she commited suicide..." Zack had held back the other tears for a few minutes, but his eyes were practically burning now. He blinked and let the tears roll down his cheeks. He didn't care anymore. He knew that Freddy wouldn't say anything and he knew that no one else was there to see him in this state. "Why...Why, Freddy? Why her? Why my mom? Why..." He choked on the last 'Why' and continued to let the tears fall.
"I...I don't know, man...I just...don't know."
So the two boys sat there for minutes on end. Zack against the wall, knees drawn to his chest now, silently crying about his mother; Freddy in front of his friend, legs crossed in an Indian-style, trying not to disurb Zack much at the moment. The strange, silent, dramatic moment ended when the janitor came down the hallway. "What are you two still doin' here?"
"Uh...we were...talking." Freddy said awkwardly.
The man nodded, "Right, right. Well, you two betta get a move on, or you gonna get locked up here pretty quick, boys." The man wasn't blind, nor deaf, or stupid. He had been just around the corner and heard their talk. As the two boys stood up and walked towards the exit, he shook his head. "Sad thing, child abuse is..." He muttered to himself before going back to work. "Too bad that kid will most likely endure it..." He paused and titled his head slightly, "Less tha blond one does something drastic..." And for some reason, the last part seemed very high and likely, which would probably be for the best in the end.
~*~*~*~
Zack and Freddy walked in silence for a few minutes. Zack was letting the last of his tears flow down his cheeks and Freddy just wasn't sure what to say at the moment. After everything was all said and done--more just done in the literal sense than said--Zack stopped and spoke. "I can't go home...but if I don't he'll kill me next time he sees me." He closed his eyes, "Got your cell?"
Freddy nodded and took it out of his bag, handing it to his dark-haired freind.
"Can I stay at your place tonight?"
"I don't see why not." He shrugged and watched his friend.
Zack nodded and turned the phone on, dialing his dad's work number.
"Hello, how may I direct your call?" The bored girl with her Southern drawl, on the other line asked, snapping her gum.
"Uh, may I speak to...Darren Mooneyham?"
"May I ask who this is?"
"His son."
"Zack! Hey, sweetie!"
"Hey, Virginia." Zack smiled a little, though it was a sad one.
"I've told you! Call me Gin!"
"Right...Gin...I'll remember that."
"Alright, give me a sec and I'll put your through, hun."
"Hello?" The man sounded very business-like, nothing like what he had sounded like last night when he was yelling at his son.
"Dad...I-I'm staying at Freddy's tonight, ok?"
"Alright...glad you let me know before hand." He sounded agitated now.
Zack swallowed, "Right...bye." And with that awkward goodbye, Zack hung up and handed the phone back to Freddy.
"So?"
Zack shrugged, "Come on."
~*~*~*~
That night,as the two boys lay there trying to go to sleep, Zack was starting to think that it was impossible. He jumped with every single noise he heard; a creak of the house, a quick change in sound of the ceileing fan, the sound of the clock in the hallway ticking, everything. He was starting to wonder if he would ever get to sleep tonight. Zack had the feeling that when it came, it wouldn't be for long.
Freddy lay there on his bed, listening to the silence of his room. Ok, so it was completely silent with Zack jumping every fifteen seconds, but it was silent enough. Freddy couldn't help but wonder about Zack. Maybe he should try and talk to him again...but that might just bring him to tears again, what with half of everything revolving around his mother and all. He heard the now familiar sound of Zack twitching and squirming in the sleepingbag on the floor. He sighed and sat up, leaning over towards his dark-headed friend, "Zack?" He heard Zack jump again.
"Yeah?"
"Are you really that freaked out about all this?"
"What...what'd ya mean?"
Freddy could hear the boy below him lick his lips and he shook his head. "I mean, your jumping every ten seconds. I'm starting to worry about you, Zack."
"You just don't know what it's like...your parents are fine with you being in the bad...and you still have parents...I've only got my dad. Man...everything was so much better before...ya know...why'd he have to kill her?"
Freddy sighed, he could feel another crying session coming on. "Zack..."
"Yeah?" His voice was already cracking.
"Come here..."
"What?"
"Just...come here."
Zack frowned but did as he was told, getting up and sitting on the bed. "What the hell, man?"
"Listen..." Freddy said quietly.
Zack practically held his breath and shifted his eyes from left, to right, left, to right. "What am I supposed to be listening for?"
"Exactly."
"What?"
"There isn't anything to hear, is there?"
"What's that got to do with--"
"I'm the interragator for the moment, answer the question."
"No...but--"
"Then why the hell are you jumping like a frog trapped under a box or something down there?"
"I...you just don't understand, Freddy...you don't know what he looked like last night...after that...I dunno, I guess I'm just paranoid, but...man, it's almost like someone enhanced my hearing. I hear everything...every little noise freaks me out. The ticking of the clock in the hallway; The creak of the house; a change in the sound of the ceiling fan...everything, man."
"This is insane, but if your going to stay up all night, be glad that it's a Friday...right?"
Zack shrugged, "I guess..."
"So..."
Zack couldn't help but shudder at the odd sensation running down his spine. "God, what is wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you...your dad went weird on you last night...you have every right to be freaked out, man."
"Not to mention that he killed my mother two years ago." Zack shook his head. Why had he mentioned anything about her? And now of all times! Why couldn't he get his mind off her for just this night? "Why can't I just keep my damn mouth shut? Why can't I keep my mind off her for one night?" He was almost shouting. Zack could feel the prickling sensation of the tears brimming in his eyes.
"Man...you've dealt like this in a way I never would have been able to. With only two years havin' gone by...I think you've taken it all incredably well, man. I know I wouldn't be in the position you are. My mind would be occupied with my mom all the time for probably nearly five years afterwards."
"But I don't want to think about her, Freddy...yet...at the same time...part of me says that I do want to...God, I'm confused."
"Sorry, man, but I can do anything about all this."
An odd silence fell between the two boys. Freddy simply sat there, staring at his friend, wondering what was going through his mind. Zack sat there and played with the sheet on Freddy's bed. Neither of the boys knew what to say, but they knew that now they had started talking, they wouldn't be able to get to sleep for quite some time now. Freddy was the one to break the God-awful silence. "Man, one of us has to talk..."
"About what?"
"I have no clue..." He paused, "But I can't do silence unless we're going to bed."
"I could always give it another shot." Zack joked.
"You want to?"
"Yeah...kinda tired, ya know?"
"Alright, man, whatever. Just...Try not to be so jumpy this time."
Zack shook his head and smiled a small smile as he went back down to the sleeping bag on the floor that was to serve as his bed for the night, and possibly the weekend. After a few moments of silence, Zack couldn't resist saying on last thing. He held up the "rock" sign as he spoke, "For those about to sleep, I wish upon you lots of z's."
Freddy laughed. He presented the rock sign as well, "Back atcha, man."
~*~*~*~