Ch. 12 Snapshots of a Relationship
You make sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit up like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip
I'm feeling it, I gotta get a grip on this
Driving me crazy baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it
You got me going again
Baby you got me going again
You make sick
Jessi rolled over and threw the alarm clock against the wall cutting the song off abruptly. She pulled the blanket back up over her head and turned over onto her back. She smiled when she felt Remus' arm snake around her waist.
"Good Morning" he whisper softly against her ear.
"Good Morning to you too." she said kissing him lightly, running her fingers over his bare chest.
"If you don't stop that neither of us is going to make it out of bed today" he murmured nuzzling her neck.
"Yes, and you're being so helpful.." she was cut off by a knock on the door.
"Jessi…are you awake." Padma's voice came from the other side of the door.
" Mmmhmmm…Hold on a minute." she quickly banished Remus' clothing to the bathroom, and flicked the door shut. "Ok"
"Hey I was just wondering if you were coming to Potions this morning?" Padma questioned, eyeing the lump under Jessi's blanket suspiciously. "And what is that?"
"Yes, I'm going to Potions, and this" she poked the Remus lump "Is a bunch of conjured pillows."
"Why did you conjure pillows?"
"Because I missed Remus Terri.." her voice caught in her throat and her sucked in a deep breath when she felt Remus' teeth graze her stomach. "Because I miss Remus terribly" she squeaked out.
"Ok, You should really go see him soon Jess."
"I know" Jessi answered trying to keep a straight face.
"Anyway, Coffee is in the kitchen, I have to go talk to Professor Clarkson about our last test in Magical Medicine. So I'll see you for class" Padma said heading out of Jessi's room.
As soon as Padma was gone, Jessi let out a heavy breath, moaning slightly. "You are pure evil, Remus Lupin, pure evil."
"But I thought you missed me terribly" he asked mockingly before kissing her.
"I did, till I saw you. But you're here. So how can I miss you?" she questioned breathlessly.
"We should really get a move on. I have to go back to Hogwarts and you have Potions was it?" he asked kissing her shoulder.
"Mmmhmmm. I wish we could stay here." she slid closer to him as she spoke.
"Me too, Love, Me too" he held her close and kissed the top of her head.
They laid there, kissing and cuddling, for awhile longer. Jessi finally climbed out of bed stating the need for a shower and coffee. She showered quickly and slipped into the kitchen as Remus entered the bathroom. She was pulling toast out when Remus came into the kitchen.
"A gourmet chef I see" he said eyeing the burnt toast.
"Oh sod off." she threw the toast at him and sipped her coffee.
"That's a lovely way to treat a guest."
"Make your own bloody toast. I never said I could cook."
"I really have to go anyway." he said quietly.
Remus approached her slowly wrapping his arms around her waist. He smiled when she slid her arms around his neck and held him close. He bent his head, resting his chin on top of her head, he breathed deeply.
"It won't be so bad this time, right?" Jessi asked quietly.
"No, it won't. We'll owl, and I'll see you here, and you'll come to Hogsmeade. And it's really only 2 months and a couple of days. You come back the second week of May right?"
"Yeah. Then we come back to review for N.E.W.Ts" she breathed deeply, tightening her arms, wishing he could stay.
"I have to go Jess, I don't want to but I have to." he captured her lips, kissing her tenderly.
"I love you." she said quietly.
"I love you too." he kissed her again and disapparated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The last weekend in February, Jessi apparated up to Hogsmeade and met Remus in the Three Broomsticks. She sat at a table near the back of the room waiting for him. She checked her watch one more time, seeing he still had five minutes before he was late. As if on cue Remus strode up to the table.
"Hello Beautiful." he said the corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk.
"Hi. How are you?" she said giving him a bright smile.
"Great now that I'm with you." he smiled and kissed her softly before sitting down across from her.
"What's with the pick up line? You already have me."
"It isn't a pick up line. It's the truth." he said smiling at her.
"Aww...that's sweet." she couldn't help but smile. The waitress came and took their order and they sat talking quietly. When they were done eating Jessi set her hands on the table, unconsciously placing them palms up. This movement caused the sleeve of her dark purple robes to catch on her watch. She slid her wrist back immediately, but Remus had already seen.
"What was that Jess?" he asked carefully.
"Oh, nothing I knocked my wrist against a door jam the other day, it's no big deal." she lied.
"Jessi…don't lie to me. I did that didn't I the day I came to your flat." he said concerned.
"Yes, but it really isn't that big of a deal" she rushed the words out.
"Not that big of a deal?…Jessi I hurt you. I let my anger get the better of me and I hurt you. I'm so so sorry. I should go." he got up and left hurriedly. Jessi sighed as she threw a couple of galleons on the table and followed him out. She dashed quickly after him.
"Remus….would you stop running away." she caught up to him and grabbed his elbow.
"Why? Why do you want me to stick around? The only thing I do is hurt you." he said coldly as he wheeled around to face her.
"A bruise…all this over a bruise. Honestly. If the worst injury I ever get for the rest of my life I'll be lucky." she said exasperatedly.
"The people you love shouldn't hurt you in anyway." he said softly trying to turn away, but she was still holding his hands.
"Oh, please. The people who were supposed to protect me as a child did worse damage than a bruise."
"What are you talking about?" he asked stepping closer to him.
"My mother, you didn't think I disliked her just because she's a pain did you?" she looked away quickly then looked back at him. "See this scar here behind my ear?"
"Yeah, I noticed it the night of the Yule Ball."
"I fell through a glass table when my mother put me under the Cruciatus curse. I was five I think." Remus just stared at her shocked, as she continued. "The star shaper scar on my shoulder…that one is from when my mother pushed me down a flight of stairs on my 10th birthday. Like I said, if the worst that ever happens is a bruise I'll be lucky." she finished softly.
"Jess…" he pulled her to him holding her close, planting kisses on the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I promise no one will ever hurt you again." they stood there for a few minutes, not moving or speaking. When they broke apart Jessi smiled weakly finally speaking.
"I'm sorry for ruining the mood of the day."
"You didn't, I wish you had told me sooner though." Remus said quietly, as he took her hand.
"I meant to but it never seem to be the right time, and I didn't want you to think I was whining or anything."
"Jess…if you had told me all of that I would have never thought you were whining."
"I love you, Remus" she kissed him softly.
"I love you too, now how about we finish exploring this village." he asked. She smiled and nodded, and they continued on their way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The second Monday in May saw Jessi back to Hogwarts. She immediately jumped back into her previous schedule. She spent most of her time in the Library or studying with Hermione in the Head's Lounge. She felt she was to far behind in everything, except Potions and Herbology, to pass her N.E.W.T.s. Hermione assured her she'd do fine but agreed to help her study anyway.
One evening about a week after she'd returned, Harry and Hermione were on rounds, the Common room was far to loud to study in and the Library was packed. Jessi made her way carefully to Remus' living quarters settling herself on his couch with her Transfiguration work. She read and took notes diligently for what seemed to her like hours, when her vision started to blur slightly she set her book down and took a break. She noticed for the first time that it was sweltering in the room, she got up and poked around until she found a pair of Remus' boxers (A/N: clean ones. Mind out of the gutters folks.), She changed quickly and reclaimed her spot on the couch to study. The time ticked slowly by and Jessi started to doze slightly. She looked up and smiled softly when Remus can in.
"Hi Jess" he said slightly shocked. "What are you doing in here?"
"Everywhere else was to loud or crowded to study properly. You don't mind do you?" she asked him warily, looking up from her notes.
"I don't mind at all. In fact I could quite get used to being here whenever I get back at night." he shot her a quick smile, then raised an eyebrow. "Are you wearing my boxers?"
"Yes, it was stiflingly hot in here." She said blushing slightly.
"You could have cast a cooling charm."
"To much work. This was easier." she grinned up at him.
"Riiight. You're strange, you do know that right." he sat down on the couch next to her.
"Yes, but you love me anyway."
"That's quite true." he smiled and slid closer to her. "And strange or not. You sitting there in my boxers is incredibly sexy" he murmured the last part softly, nibbling on her neck.
"Remus…." She moaned softly, turning so she was facing him.
"Shhh…." he positioned himself on top of her kissing her softly.
"Remus…" she said softly. "We can't do this right now. I have got to study ."
Remus groaned and cursed under his breath. "Alright. What are you studying anyway?" he moved, so she could sit up.
"Transfiguration. I'm still incredibly far behind. At least it feels that way."
"You'll do fine Jess. You're brilliant and you know it, I have every confidence in you." he smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"That means a lot, Now I really have to study." she kissed him quickly on the cheek before settling down to study again.
They both sat quietly, Jessi studying and Remus reading, occupied well into the night. Jessi began to dose off again, but snapped her head up when the fireplace popped. She looked at Remus warily and he shook his head signifying that it wasn't a Floo call.
"Jessi, I think you need to get some sleep." he said softly when she began to slip into sleep again.
"Mmmhmmm…I should go" she got up slowly and began to put her books back into her bag.
"Leave them." he said referring to the books. "You'll never make it back up to the Tower. You're asleep on you're feet. Come on." he placed an arm gently over her shoulders leading her into the bedroom. He shushed her when she protested, he tucked her in gently before climbing into bed beside her and falling asleep himself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The morning of her Charms N.E.W.T. Jessi awoke in the Head's common room where she's been studying late with Hermione. She smiled groggily at Harry who came out of his room carrying a tray of tea and pastries.
"Morning Jessi" he said happily.
"Morning Harry, I…" she stopped speaking abruptly and bolted into Hermione's bathroom. She threw up last nights dinner and sat back on her heels, resting her head on the edge of the bathtub next to her.
"Jessi…." Hermione said from the doorway.
"Oh, Hi Mione."
"What's wrong Jess?"
"Nothing, I think it's the lack of sleep and the not eating properly, I've been feeling sick since I got back here really." she splashed her face and rinsed her mouth out at the sink.
"Just throwing up in the morning?" Hermione asked as they walked back to where Harry had set up tea.
"No, anytime I get near food really. Plus I'm tired a lot." Jessi shrugged. "I just need to get through N.E.W.T.s"
"Jessi is there a possibility you might be…." Hermione trailed off stirring sugar and milk into her tea.
"That I might be what?" Jessi asked worriedly.
"Pregnant…I mean did you and Remus use protection?" Hermione whispered.
"Oh, Merlin…I don't know, I guess it's possible." Jessi said slumping against the back of the couch.
"Only one way to find out." Hermione disappeared to get her wand. She cam back and sat across from Jessi pointing her wand at her stomach. "Habere Proles" as Hermione spoke the words a white light shot out of her wand. The light engulfed Jessi before turning blue and disappearing
"Sweet Zeus' Candy sticks." Jessi said softly her eyes going wide.
"Jess…Are you going to tell Remus?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, after N.E.W.T.s……first I have to find something to help with this sick feeling." She said softly.
"Go to Professor Snape." Hermione said simply.
"What? Are you out of your mind?"
"No, listen Jess, ask for an anti-nausea potion. Tell him you're overly stressed by N.E.W.T.s. He likes you. Knows you have what it takes to be good at Potions. He'll make it for you. Oh but tell him you're allergic to tarpin leaves."
"Right. Ok, I should go before breakfast then. I'll see you at the test." Jessi hugged her best friend before slipping out of the door. She made her way carefully to the dungeons. When she got there she knocked softly. "Professor Snape?"
"Come in Miss Carmichael. And shut the door. As I assume by the early nature of this visit you want it kept private." Snape snapped.
"I'm having trouble. I'm overly stressed." she started.
"This is my concern why?" he asked glaring at her.
"I was wondering if you could make me an anti-nausea draft, without the tarpin leaves." she said quickly.
"Madame Pomfrey has anti-nausea draft in the Hospital…did you say without the Tarpin leaves?" his expression changed from a glare to a look of confusion.
"Yes…I'm allergic." she smiled weakly.
"You are not" he snapped.
"How would you know?" she asked shocked.
" Allergies to tarpin leaves are inherited paternally. I know your father Miss Carmichael. He isn't allergic to tarpin leaves."
"No he isn't" she said glumly.
"The only other reason, one would remove that particular ingredient is if one were pregnant." he said smarmily. When she didn't answer he proceeded. "Who is the father Miss Carmichael."
"That is none of your business." she snapped.
"Ah so you are. Well as you know I am a Legilimens"
"Professor Snape." Jessi said cutting him off. "I have always admired you for you're work ethic and your skill with potions. However, if you use your skill in Legilimency to find something out just because you want to know, I will lose a great deal of that respect." she said calmly.
"Very well, Miss Carmichael. Pick the potion up in a half hour, before your test." he said quickly.
"Thank you, Professor." she hurried from the room. As she left the dungeon she ran into what seemed to be a solid wall, which turned out to be Remus.
"Is it true Jessi?" he asked staunchly. When she didn't answer he lead her from the dungeons to his office. He closed and locked the door, and placed a silencing charm around the room. "Jessi, is it true? You didn't deny it when Snape asked."
"I didn't deny it." she repeated nervously.
"So it's true then." he asked sitting down across from her.
"Yes, I just found out this morning. Hermione performed the spell for me." Jessi said softly.
Remus didn't say anything. He just looked at her. He couldn't believe he'd been so careless. She's to young to have children, much less my children he though to himself.
"Aren't you going to say something" Jessi asked snapping Remus from his thoughts.
"What is there to say?" he asked seriously.
"Oh I don't know" she said sarcastically "I just told the person I love most in the world, the biggest news of my entire life. I'd think he could find something to say."
"What's done is done. We'll just have to deal with this." he said quietly.
"Deal with this." she looked at him shocked. "Children aren't something you 'deal' with. They're amazing gifts. They are meant to be held and loved and cherished and told how important and special they are. Not Dealt with." she looked at him with tears streaming done her cheeks. "If that's what you think, I'll raise this child on my own." Jessi left his office quickly running through the castle not looking at where she was going. She ended up in a sixth floor corridor. She sat with her back on the wall. She heard someone come up next to her, and knew it was Harry.
"Shhh…it'll be ok Jessi. Mione, Ron and I will all be here for you." Harry said soothingly as he rocked his crying friend.
"Remus didn't take it well, then?" Ron asked sitting on the floor in front of her. "Harry told me, and Mione told him." Ron said when she looked at him confused.
"At least we're in the same boat" Hermione said sitting down on the other side of Jessi. "I tested myself this morning after you left. I'd suspected, but was to afraid to find out."
The four friends sat in the corridor talking quietly. They nearly missed their Charms N.E.W.T. but Ron happened to glance at his watch. They all raced quickly to the Great Hall, and took their seats. When the test was over they spilled out onto the sun dappled grounds and went to their usual spot by the lake, they spent most of the afternoon talking and relaxing. They still had N.E.W.T.s for Potions and Astronomy but they decided that they needed the afternoon off.