Destiny's Sorrow
Disclaimer: I don't own them, as made clear plenty of times before... But hey, if you want to sue me, go ahead, cause you'll only get the clothes off my back.
A/N: I'm going out of town for a few days, so I won't be able to update for about a week, possibly a little more. But this chapter should see you lot through till I'm home again! – Love, Eli K*
*Stay with me. I will be back. * -- Delta Goodrem, singer/songwriter
Chapter 3— A Mass Of Compassion
Shaking with nerves, Serena de-transformed and said, "Look, I better go home... Mom and Dad will be getting really worried. I'm sorry about all this, Darien, I really am," she appealed. "I'm going to straighten it out as soon as I can."
Darien hugged her close. "I understand. Go on. Go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay... bye, Darien," Serena said wistfully. "I love you."
"I love you too, Serena. No go on, go home before your parents send the cops out looking for you," Darien said tenderly.
A final hug, a sorrowful kiss and Serena found herself beginning the long journey home. She knew she had to do something. Soon.
"No, not soon. Now. I can't live like this. I deserve whatever Raye gives me as a punishment," Serena said aloud, spinning around into the opposite direction and running all the way to Raye's temple. Her heart pounded from both physical exertion and panic, her limbs shook, and her mind was a disorderly mess of thoughts that were all desperately trying to merge themselves together to form something coherent.
Chad answered the door, looking sombre. "Serena, Raye doesn't want to see anyone."
"I know, Chad, but this is really important," Serena pleaded.
Chad took one look at Serena's flushed face, dishevelled meatball-topped ponytails, tear-stained face and swollen eyes and let her in. "Okay, but Raye might turn ya away, so ya have to be prepared for it, okay, Serena?"
"I know," Serena repeated, breathing deeply and closing her eyes for a second to hide the burning tears in them. "But I know I'll be able to talk to her."
Leading Serena to Raye's room, he called out, "Raye, someone's here to see you."
"I don't care. I don't want to see anyone, I told you!" Raye shouted thickly from inside the room in which she had imprisoned herself for days. "Send them away right now."
"Raye," Serena called out, her voice wobbling. "Please let me in. I really have to talk to you. Really," she pleaded. "Come on, Raye, don't shut me out." She wiped at her eyes and hugged her trembling body in hope.
One long sigh later, Raye agreed to allow Serena in. Chad slunk away, leaving the girls alone. Sadly, Raye lifted her deep violet eyes to gaze at Serena. "Hi, Sere. I'm sorry I was such a grouch. I'd never shut you out. I'm sorry."
That was all it took for Serena to explode shakily, "Don't, Raye. I can't stand it!"
Confused, Raye blinked at her best friend. "You can't stand what? Me being sorry for trying to shut you out?"
"That and how nice you're being to me. I don't deserve it, Raye. I'm a total bitch and I just want you to hate me for the rest of my life," Serena wailed. She sank down onto the floor and covered her face, her small frame heaving with heartbroken sobs.
"Serena, what are you TALKING about?" Raye was astonished. "Why would I hate you for the rest of your life? You haven't done anything to me. In fact, you're my only source of real comfort... you have been ever since Darien and I..." She trailed off, sniffling back yet another round of tears. "So what could you possibly want me to hate you for?"
"Raye, I have not been comfort. I've been a backstabbing, low-down, lying witch and I hate myself!" Serena sobbed into her hands.
"Serena, just tell me whatever it is you're trying to tell me," Raye said uneasily. She had a feeling that what was about to come out of her best friend's mouth was not going to be something she'd like. In anticipation, Raye clutched at the worn white blanket over her.
"You want me to tell you?" Serena gulped back another sob. "Fine, I'll tell you. Do you want to know why you and Darien broke up?"
Raye narrowed her eyes. "Serena..." she said warningly.
"Because I did it!" Serena shouted, hating herself infinitely. "I went over to Darien's apartment that night and I did it. I pretended to be you!"
Any living colour in Raye's face slowly ebbed away until Raye was a sickly shade of white, like the white of the worn old blanket covering her. "What did you say?"
"I used the disguise pen. I changed myself into you and went to his apartment to be with him. We ended up fighting and he ended things, believing I was you. That's why you didn't understand. I was the one who broke you up. But I never meant to," Serena wept. "I never meant to do that to you..."
Now Raye understood perfectly. She understood exactly why Darien had finished things. She understood exactly why Serena had been such a mass of compassion since then. Because she felt guilty as hell about lying to Raye and deceiving Darien. Raye understood, all right.
She also knew that she wanted Serena to get the hell out of her life.
"Get out, Serena." Raye's voice was like that of the calm before the storm.
"Raye," Serena whispered, unable to cry. She was too exhausted emotionally to cry anymore. "Raye, I'm so sorry."
"Get OUT!" Raye shouted, the storm within fully outside now.
"There's one more thing I have to tell you before I leave," Serena said.
"I don't want to hear it," Raye screamed. "I've heard enough, Serena! Haven't you hurt me enough? Just get out of my room, get out of my house and get out of my LIFE!"
"Believe me, you'll want to hear this before you go running to Darien and tell him it was me that came to his place that night. He knows." Serena stood up, shaking uncontrollably.
"What?" Raye asked brokenly.
"He knows it was me. He knows about the Disguise Pen. He knows that you're Sailor Mars and I'm Sailor Moon. He's Tuxedo Mask, by the way, but that's not that I want to tell you the most. This is going to make you want to kill me, but I have to say it before I die of guilt: Darien and I are in love, Raye. We're together."
Serena stood there for a second more, and then ran before she saw the look on Raye's face. She'd done enough. She didn't want to have to stay there and see the results of her confession.
So she ran. She ran all the way home. She threw Luna out of her room and locked the door. Nothing could lure her out, not even Darien, at this point in time.
Well, maybe Darien... but it was only going to hurt more knowing that he was the cause of this entire rotten mess.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, as made clear plenty of times before... But hey, if you want to sue me, go ahead, cause you'll only get the clothes off my back.
A/N: I'm going out of town for a few days, so I won't be able to update for about a week, possibly a little more. But this chapter should see you lot through till I'm home again! – Love, Eli K*
*Stay with me. I will be back. * -- Delta Goodrem, singer/songwriter
Chapter 3— A Mass Of Compassion
Shaking with nerves, Serena de-transformed and said, "Look, I better go home... Mom and Dad will be getting really worried. I'm sorry about all this, Darien, I really am," she appealed. "I'm going to straighten it out as soon as I can."
Darien hugged her close. "I understand. Go on. Go home. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay... bye, Darien," Serena said wistfully. "I love you."
"I love you too, Serena. No go on, go home before your parents send the cops out looking for you," Darien said tenderly.
A final hug, a sorrowful kiss and Serena found herself beginning the long journey home. She knew she had to do something. Soon.
"No, not soon. Now. I can't live like this. I deserve whatever Raye gives me as a punishment," Serena said aloud, spinning around into the opposite direction and running all the way to Raye's temple. Her heart pounded from both physical exertion and panic, her limbs shook, and her mind was a disorderly mess of thoughts that were all desperately trying to merge themselves together to form something coherent.
Chad answered the door, looking sombre. "Serena, Raye doesn't want to see anyone."
"I know, Chad, but this is really important," Serena pleaded.
Chad took one look at Serena's flushed face, dishevelled meatball-topped ponytails, tear-stained face and swollen eyes and let her in. "Okay, but Raye might turn ya away, so ya have to be prepared for it, okay, Serena?"
"I know," Serena repeated, breathing deeply and closing her eyes for a second to hide the burning tears in them. "But I know I'll be able to talk to her."
Leading Serena to Raye's room, he called out, "Raye, someone's here to see you."
"I don't care. I don't want to see anyone, I told you!" Raye shouted thickly from inside the room in which she had imprisoned herself for days. "Send them away right now."
"Raye," Serena called out, her voice wobbling. "Please let me in. I really have to talk to you. Really," she pleaded. "Come on, Raye, don't shut me out." She wiped at her eyes and hugged her trembling body in hope.
One long sigh later, Raye agreed to allow Serena in. Chad slunk away, leaving the girls alone. Sadly, Raye lifted her deep violet eyes to gaze at Serena. "Hi, Sere. I'm sorry I was such a grouch. I'd never shut you out. I'm sorry."
That was all it took for Serena to explode shakily, "Don't, Raye. I can't stand it!"
Confused, Raye blinked at her best friend. "You can't stand what? Me being sorry for trying to shut you out?"
"That and how nice you're being to me. I don't deserve it, Raye. I'm a total bitch and I just want you to hate me for the rest of my life," Serena wailed. She sank down onto the floor and covered her face, her small frame heaving with heartbroken sobs.
"Serena, what are you TALKING about?" Raye was astonished. "Why would I hate you for the rest of your life? You haven't done anything to me. In fact, you're my only source of real comfort... you have been ever since Darien and I..." She trailed off, sniffling back yet another round of tears. "So what could you possibly want me to hate you for?"
"Raye, I have not been comfort. I've been a backstabbing, low-down, lying witch and I hate myself!" Serena sobbed into her hands.
"Serena, just tell me whatever it is you're trying to tell me," Raye said uneasily. She had a feeling that what was about to come out of her best friend's mouth was not going to be something she'd like. In anticipation, Raye clutched at the worn white blanket over her.
"You want me to tell you?" Serena gulped back another sob. "Fine, I'll tell you. Do you want to know why you and Darien broke up?"
Raye narrowed her eyes. "Serena..." she said warningly.
"Because I did it!" Serena shouted, hating herself infinitely. "I went over to Darien's apartment that night and I did it. I pretended to be you!"
Any living colour in Raye's face slowly ebbed away until Raye was a sickly shade of white, like the white of the worn old blanket covering her. "What did you say?"
"I used the disguise pen. I changed myself into you and went to his apartment to be with him. We ended up fighting and he ended things, believing I was you. That's why you didn't understand. I was the one who broke you up. But I never meant to," Serena wept. "I never meant to do that to you..."
Now Raye understood perfectly. She understood exactly why Darien had finished things. She understood exactly why Serena had been such a mass of compassion since then. Because she felt guilty as hell about lying to Raye and deceiving Darien. Raye understood, all right.
She also knew that she wanted Serena to get the hell out of her life.
"Get out, Serena." Raye's voice was like that of the calm before the storm.
"Raye," Serena whispered, unable to cry. She was too exhausted emotionally to cry anymore. "Raye, I'm so sorry."
"Get OUT!" Raye shouted, the storm within fully outside now.
"There's one more thing I have to tell you before I leave," Serena said.
"I don't want to hear it," Raye screamed. "I've heard enough, Serena! Haven't you hurt me enough? Just get out of my room, get out of my house and get out of my LIFE!"
"Believe me, you'll want to hear this before you go running to Darien and tell him it was me that came to his place that night. He knows." Serena stood up, shaking uncontrollably.
"What?" Raye asked brokenly.
"He knows it was me. He knows about the Disguise Pen. He knows that you're Sailor Mars and I'm Sailor Moon. He's Tuxedo Mask, by the way, but that's not that I want to tell you the most. This is going to make you want to kill me, but I have to say it before I die of guilt: Darien and I are in love, Raye. We're together."
Serena stood there for a second more, and then ran before she saw the look on Raye's face. She'd done enough. She didn't want to have to stay there and see the results of her confession.
So she ran. She ran all the way home. She threw Luna out of her room and locked the door. Nothing could lure her out, not even Darien, at this point in time.
Well, maybe Darien... but it was only going to hurt more knowing that he was the cause of this entire rotten mess.