The Hurting Time Has Come
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter Three
Susan grew restless and started pacing the small room. I stayed by Luka's side, holding his hand, crying. I felt close to Carter because I was close to Luka. Whatever happened in that bathroom, Luka was there, Luka and Carter suffered through it together.
"Do you want to go get some coffee?" Susan asks.
I shake my head. "I can't leave him." Until they tell me Carter is out of surgery, I think. And it's true. I'll stay with Luka as long as can. But I'll go to Carter's side as soon as they let me. I glance at Luka's calm, pale, relaxed face. I think he will understand. He knows how I feel about him, and he knows how I feel about Carter. I love them both, but Carter is the one I want to spend my forever with.
"You should eat something. You're going to be here all night, Abby. I know you won't go home. You need to keep your strength."
"I'm fine, Susan. If you want coffee, go get coffee. I'm not leaving him."
"I need to walk around a bit. Do you want me to bring you something?"
I shake my head. "I'm fine." In fact the thought of food or drink made me want to throw up. How could I think of eating at a time like this? Carter isn't even out of surgery yet.
Susan nods and leaves. I know she will bring me something anyway. I don't care. I'm only concerned with Luka and Carter right now.
I am holding Luka's hand between both of mine. "Can you hear me, Luka? I think you can. I hope you can. I want you to know I'm here. You're not alone."
I look at him, hoping for some kind of reaction. Of course there is nothing. He won't wake up for a few hours yet, if he wakes up at all. But I can't think that way. I have to stay positive. I have to believe Luka and Carter will both get through this.
I feel his fingers twitch. At first I think I must be dreaming, or imagining it. But I look up and his eyes are open. Clouded and unfocused, but open. He looks at me, and his mouth twitches, then his eyes close.
"You can't talk, Luka. There's a tube in your throat." His eyes open again., He looks scared. I don't think I have ever seen Luka Kovac look scared. I stroke his hair away from his face. I don't know. It's an impulse. Something people do to comfort each other. It makes me feel like I'm doing something. "It's okay, Luka. You're going to be fine."
His eyes close. I'm not sure how much I should tell him. "I'm going to get Elizabeth. I'll be right back."
His fingers curled around mine. Not much strength, but enough to send the message. 'Don't leave me alone.'
"I'm just going to the door. Luka, I need to get Elizabeth." I pull my hand from his with little effort. The hallway is deserted, but I know someone has to be close by. I yell for the nurse.
I'm back with Luka, holding his hand, stroking his hair, when she comes in. "Page Dr. Corday. Dr. Kovac is awake." His eyes are closed. He doesn't look so peaceful now. I kiss his forehead. And I wait for Elizabeth.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Elizabeth makes me leave while she examines Luka. I pace the hall outside his room. I want to go check on Carter. I need to know how Carter is doing. He's been in there for so long. What if something has gone wrong? How long will they wait to tell me?
No. Nothing has gone wrong. Carter is fine. Please God, I think and look up to the ceiling. Carter has to be okay. I don't know what I'd do if he…if…No. I can't say it. Can't think it. He's going to be fine. He has to be fine.
I hear footsteps. And a crutch. Kerry. I look up. She looks like the crutch is the only thing holding her up.
"Elizabeth is with him," I offer before she asks. "He's awake."
"That's great." She tries to smile but it doesn't reach her eyes. "He's a fighter, Abby. They both are."
"I know." I look down at the floor. I see blood, blood creeping out from under the men's room door. I close my eyes, try to shake the image. I don't want to think about that, I don't want to see the scene in my head.
I thought he was dead, when I saw him. He looked like he was dead. Like he should be dead. He was barely breathing. If I hadn't found him…If I hadn't found them when I did…
I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to throw something. I want to hug someone. I want someone to hug me. Preferably Carter. I need to feel his arms around me. I feel so safe in his arms. Like nothing else matters. Nothing matters but him.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Luka is sleeping. Susan, Kerry, Elizabeth, and I are with him. The lines in his face make him look old. I wonder if he's in pain. He looks like he is.
The door opens. It's Romano. He looks as weary as Luka. Carter must be out of surgery! I stand. I want to ask him a thousand questions.
"We're bringing him in here."
That means he's alive. I close my eyes. I feel dizzy. I feel hands on my arms, to steady me. I open my eyes. The room is spinning. I stumble back to sit down. I have to sit down. I can't breathe. Everything is going black.
"Breathe, Abby," Susan says. I think she's kneeling in front of me. I can hear them bringing Carter in. I have to breathe. He needs me. I have to breathe. I can't see him if I pass out.
* * * * * * * * * * *
That's all for tonight. Use the review option and let me know what you think :)
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter Three
Susan grew restless and started pacing the small room. I stayed by Luka's side, holding his hand, crying. I felt close to Carter because I was close to Luka. Whatever happened in that bathroom, Luka was there, Luka and Carter suffered through it together.
"Do you want to go get some coffee?" Susan asks.
I shake my head. "I can't leave him." Until they tell me Carter is out of surgery, I think. And it's true. I'll stay with Luka as long as can. But I'll go to Carter's side as soon as they let me. I glance at Luka's calm, pale, relaxed face. I think he will understand. He knows how I feel about him, and he knows how I feel about Carter. I love them both, but Carter is the one I want to spend my forever with.
"You should eat something. You're going to be here all night, Abby. I know you won't go home. You need to keep your strength."
"I'm fine, Susan. If you want coffee, go get coffee. I'm not leaving him."
"I need to walk around a bit. Do you want me to bring you something?"
I shake my head. "I'm fine." In fact the thought of food or drink made me want to throw up. How could I think of eating at a time like this? Carter isn't even out of surgery yet.
Susan nods and leaves. I know she will bring me something anyway. I don't care. I'm only concerned with Luka and Carter right now.
I am holding Luka's hand between both of mine. "Can you hear me, Luka? I think you can. I hope you can. I want you to know I'm here. You're not alone."
I look at him, hoping for some kind of reaction. Of course there is nothing. He won't wake up for a few hours yet, if he wakes up at all. But I can't think that way. I have to stay positive. I have to believe Luka and Carter will both get through this.
I feel his fingers twitch. At first I think I must be dreaming, or imagining it. But I look up and his eyes are open. Clouded and unfocused, but open. He looks at me, and his mouth twitches, then his eyes close.
"You can't talk, Luka. There's a tube in your throat." His eyes open again., He looks scared. I don't think I have ever seen Luka Kovac look scared. I stroke his hair away from his face. I don't know. It's an impulse. Something people do to comfort each other. It makes me feel like I'm doing something. "It's okay, Luka. You're going to be fine."
His eyes close. I'm not sure how much I should tell him. "I'm going to get Elizabeth. I'll be right back."
His fingers curled around mine. Not much strength, but enough to send the message. 'Don't leave me alone.'
"I'm just going to the door. Luka, I need to get Elizabeth." I pull my hand from his with little effort. The hallway is deserted, but I know someone has to be close by. I yell for the nurse.
I'm back with Luka, holding his hand, stroking his hair, when she comes in. "Page Dr. Corday. Dr. Kovac is awake." His eyes are closed. He doesn't look so peaceful now. I kiss his forehead. And I wait for Elizabeth.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Elizabeth makes me leave while she examines Luka. I pace the hall outside his room. I want to go check on Carter. I need to know how Carter is doing. He's been in there for so long. What if something has gone wrong? How long will they wait to tell me?
No. Nothing has gone wrong. Carter is fine. Please God, I think and look up to the ceiling. Carter has to be okay. I don't know what I'd do if he…if…No. I can't say it. Can't think it. He's going to be fine. He has to be fine.
I hear footsteps. And a crutch. Kerry. I look up. She looks like the crutch is the only thing holding her up.
"Elizabeth is with him," I offer before she asks. "He's awake."
"That's great." She tries to smile but it doesn't reach her eyes. "He's a fighter, Abby. They both are."
"I know." I look down at the floor. I see blood, blood creeping out from under the men's room door. I close my eyes, try to shake the image. I don't want to think about that, I don't want to see the scene in my head.
I thought he was dead, when I saw him. He looked like he was dead. Like he should be dead. He was barely breathing. If I hadn't found him…If I hadn't found them when I did…
I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to throw something. I want to hug someone. I want someone to hug me. Preferably Carter. I need to feel his arms around me. I feel so safe in his arms. Like nothing else matters. Nothing matters but him.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Luka is sleeping. Susan, Kerry, Elizabeth, and I are with him. The lines in his face make him look old. I wonder if he's in pain. He looks like he is.
The door opens. It's Romano. He looks as weary as Luka. Carter must be out of surgery! I stand. I want to ask him a thousand questions.
"We're bringing him in here."
That means he's alive. I close my eyes. I feel dizzy. I feel hands on my arms, to steady me. I open my eyes. The room is spinning. I stumble back to sit down. I have to sit down. I can't breathe. Everything is going black.
"Breathe, Abby," Susan says. I think she's kneeling in front of me. I can hear them bringing Carter in. I have to breathe. He needs me. I have to breathe. I can't see him if I pass out.
* * * * * * * * * * *
That's all for tonight. Use the review option and let me know what you think :)