The Hurting Time Has Come
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 5
I shouldn't have left them. Every second I'm away from that room feels like an eternity. I don't know how Susan convinced me to leave and right now I'm really regretting it. I don't need a shower or 'real' food. I need to be with them. With Luka, with Carter. Dear God I need to be with Carter.
They need me too. I know they do. They know when I'm there, which means they know when I'm not there and I don't want them to think for one second that they are alone. I haven't left their sides for more than five minutes, just long enough to go to the bathroom.
I am so thankful Romano put them in the same room. That way I can be with both of them. And I think it will be important for them to be together as they recover.
"Abby?"
I blink and reach for the door release. Get out of the car. My knees feel like rubber. I don't know if I can do this. Too many memories in there, too many ghosts. Luka when we were together, and Carter…Just two nights ago, laughing and singing, dancing our private dance, laying in the darkness, exploring each other's bodies, feeling his heart beat through his chest, his fingers in my hair…
I take a deep breath, fumble with the key. The door opens. Everything looks exactly like we left it. Why did I think it would look different? I step in, breath in the scent of him. His cologne.
Susan stays in the hallway just beyond the door. I go to the bedroom where the sheets are rumpled and the pillows are stacked on his side of the bed. My rubber legs force me there, to the bed, and I lay there, on his side, feeling him there, his arms around me. I hug the top pillow, my pillow that he stole from me first thing when we woke up and I cry. I cry because there is nothing else I can do.
I don't dare sleep, not here, where I feel his presence so strong. I couldn't bear another one of those dreams. I struggle against the blackness trying to keep me to the bed. I get up, get out. To the bathroom. The corner of his towel is peeking out of the hamper. My fingers reach out to it, caress it.
I turn on the water. Step in. The water feels good. Warm, soothing, comforting. I close my eyes and feel his hands on me. But he isn't here. I'm alone. Totally alone. I have to get back to him. I get out of the shower, get dressed.
"Take me back." I say to Susan.
She's sitting on the sofa, reading a magazine. She puts it down and looks at me like I'm crazy. "I want to go back."
"Someone will call if anything changes."
"I don't want them to call. I want to be there."
"I thought you might want to take a nap in your own bed."
I shake my head. I can't think about that bed. I think she's stalling. Keeping me away for some reason. "What's going on?"
"Nothing." She stands. She's defensive. She's hiding something. "I just think you need-"
I shake my head, cut her off. "I need to be with Carter, Susan. That's what I need."
"You won't do him any good if you run yourself down before he even wakes up."
"That hope is the only thing keeping my head above water right now, and being away from him is killing me. I don't want to take a nap, Susan, because every time I close my eyes I see him and we're happy. We're so unbelievably happy and then I see blood and I know he's hurt but I can't help him. I reach out to him and he's so far away and no matter what I do I can't get to him. So if you don't mind, I would like to go back to the hospital now so I can sit with him."
She looks for a moment like she's trying to come up with an argument, but there isn't one. She knows I am going back to Carter, with or without her. Finally she nods, and we go.
* * * * * * * * *
'Why were you trying to stall me?" I ask once we're on the road.
"What?" She tries to look shocked and innocent at the same time.
I sigh. I'm not in the mood for games. I wonder if she can feel my eyes boring holes into her? "Why are you trying to keep me away from him? If they're running tests on him, I want to know."
"Someone wanted to see Carter, and we thought it was best if you weren't there."
"Who?" Panic rises like a bubble in my throat. "Who wants to see him?"
She glances at me, then turns her eyes back to the road. "His sister."
I almost laugh out loud. "His sister? Susan, Carter doesn't have a sister."
"She's his father's daughter. She grew up in Montreal."
"And let me guess. Carter doesn't know about her, right? He doesn't know about her because she doesn't exist. She's not his sister. Carter does not have a sister. He's worth millions, an he's been hurt very badly. If…" I stumble, the words clogging up my throat. But I take a deep breath and go on before she can interrupt me. "If he dies, the Carter family fortune will be up for grabs. I wouldn't be surprised f a dozen long lost brothers and sisters come crawling to his bedside. All of them frauds, because the only brother Carter ever had has been dead twenty years."
Susan shakes her head. We're stopped at a red light so she can look at me for more than a second. I'm not sure what I see in her eyes, but I don't like it.
"It's not like that, Abby. Weaver managed to track his father down. I forget where he is. But he's tied up in meetings and he can't get away. He said he would send his daughter."
"She's probably his woman of the week. His mother cut him out of the will. She left it all to Carter. He doesn't care if Carter lives or dies. He just wants the money."
"You don't really believe that."
"Yes, Susan. I really believe that because it's true. Carter doesn't have a sister. If you want to know the truth he doesn't have a father either. Or a mother. Or anything but me."
* * * * * * * * * *
Please use the review button to let me know what you think. Is this so called sister the real thing, or do you think Abby is accurate in her suspicion? Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading, and a thousand thanks to everyone who has reviewed!
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 5
I shouldn't have left them. Every second I'm away from that room feels like an eternity. I don't know how Susan convinced me to leave and right now I'm really regretting it. I don't need a shower or 'real' food. I need to be with them. With Luka, with Carter. Dear God I need to be with Carter.
They need me too. I know they do. They know when I'm there, which means they know when I'm not there and I don't want them to think for one second that they are alone. I haven't left their sides for more than five minutes, just long enough to go to the bathroom.
I am so thankful Romano put them in the same room. That way I can be with both of them. And I think it will be important for them to be together as they recover.
"Abby?"
I blink and reach for the door release. Get out of the car. My knees feel like rubber. I don't know if I can do this. Too many memories in there, too many ghosts. Luka when we were together, and Carter…Just two nights ago, laughing and singing, dancing our private dance, laying in the darkness, exploring each other's bodies, feeling his heart beat through his chest, his fingers in my hair…
I take a deep breath, fumble with the key. The door opens. Everything looks exactly like we left it. Why did I think it would look different? I step in, breath in the scent of him. His cologne.
Susan stays in the hallway just beyond the door. I go to the bedroom where the sheets are rumpled and the pillows are stacked on his side of the bed. My rubber legs force me there, to the bed, and I lay there, on his side, feeling him there, his arms around me. I hug the top pillow, my pillow that he stole from me first thing when we woke up and I cry. I cry because there is nothing else I can do.
I don't dare sleep, not here, where I feel his presence so strong. I couldn't bear another one of those dreams. I struggle against the blackness trying to keep me to the bed. I get up, get out. To the bathroom. The corner of his towel is peeking out of the hamper. My fingers reach out to it, caress it.
I turn on the water. Step in. The water feels good. Warm, soothing, comforting. I close my eyes and feel his hands on me. But he isn't here. I'm alone. Totally alone. I have to get back to him. I get out of the shower, get dressed.
"Take me back." I say to Susan.
She's sitting on the sofa, reading a magazine. She puts it down and looks at me like I'm crazy. "I want to go back."
"Someone will call if anything changes."
"I don't want them to call. I want to be there."
"I thought you might want to take a nap in your own bed."
I shake my head. I can't think about that bed. I think she's stalling. Keeping me away for some reason. "What's going on?"
"Nothing." She stands. She's defensive. She's hiding something. "I just think you need-"
I shake my head, cut her off. "I need to be with Carter, Susan. That's what I need."
"You won't do him any good if you run yourself down before he even wakes up."
"That hope is the only thing keeping my head above water right now, and being away from him is killing me. I don't want to take a nap, Susan, because every time I close my eyes I see him and we're happy. We're so unbelievably happy and then I see blood and I know he's hurt but I can't help him. I reach out to him and he's so far away and no matter what I do I can't get to him. So if you don't mind, I would like to go back to the hospital now so I can sit with him."
She looks for a moment like she's trying to come up with an argument, but there isn't one. She knows I am going back to Carter, with or without her. Finally she nods, and we go.
* * * * * * * * *
'Why were you trying to stall me?" I ask once we're on the road.
"What?" She tries to look shocked and innocent at the same time.
I sigh. I'm not in the mood for games. I wonder if she can feel my eyes boring holes into her? "Why are you trying to keep me away from him? If they're running tests on him, I want to know."
"Someone wanted to see Carter, and we thought it was best if you weren't there."
"Who?" Panic rises like a bubble in my throat. "Who wants to see him?"
She glances at me, then turns her eyes back to the road. "His sister."
I almost laugh out loud. "His sister? Susan, Carter doesn't have a sister."
"She's his father's daughter. She grew up in Montreal."
"And let me guess. Carter doesn't know about her, right? He doesn't know about her because she doesn't exist. She's not his sister. Carter does not have a sister. He's worth millions, an he's been hurt very badly. If…" I stumble, the words clogging up my throat. But I take a deep breath and go on before she can interrupt me. "If he dies, the Carter family fortune will be up for grabs. I wouldn't be surprised f a dozen long lost brothers and sisters come crawling to his bedside. All of them frauds, because the only brother Carter ever had has been dead twenty years."
Susan shakes her head. We're stopped at a red light so she can look at me for more than a second. I'm not sure what I see in her eyes, but I don't like it.
"It's not like that, Abby. Weaver managed to track his father down. I forget where he is. But he's tied up in meetings and he can't get away. He said he would send his daughter."
"She's probably his woman of the week. His mother cut him out of the will. She left it all to Carter. He doesn't care if Carter lives or dies. He just wants the money."
"You don't really believe that."
"Yes, Susan. I really believe that because it's true. Carter doesn't have a sister. If you want to know the truth he doesn't have a father either. Or a mother. Or anything but me."
* * * * * * * * * *
Please use the review button to let me know what you think. Is this so called sister the real thing, or do you think Abby is accurate in her suspicion? Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading, and a thousand thanks to everyone who has reviewed!