A/N I honestly thought I had uploaded this chapter. Sorry. Anywho, Read and review.
Anger was burning inside of her, threatening to explode, to shatter her. She had to take the pressure off... it hurt... She could feel the anger; the self-loathing stretching her skin until she thought it would tear.
The razor glinted in the sun as she lifted it. She was supposed to clean them, to polish them, but they felt cool to her hot hands. She pressed the blade against her face, feeling the coolness. She rubbed it down her arms, feeling it cool her skin.
She pressed down, wanting it to become part of her. She jumped when the razor pricked her skin. Red droplets welled, running like tears down her forearms.
The blood cooled her anger; she didn't feel ready to explode. She watched the blood run. It calmed her, reminding her of her mothers tears. Her mother's tears had been of blood, but she had never thought it odd. Her father would yell when her mother cried and when she was bad he'd whip her. He never cried but his eyes would glow a brilliant red, like hellfire, and his ugly face would come out.
If only she'd been a better girl. Mommy wouldn't have left and Daddy...
Pain expanded in her chest and she once again filled with self-loathing.
He scared her. A sob escaped her throat and the pain in her chest expanded.
She looked down at the blood running down her arm and pressed the blade to her skin. Cool tears of blood wept from the wound and again the pain eased.
"Girl!"
Caryn jumped and dropped the razor, staring at it in horror. She'd cut... She'd always resisted the temptation before.
The floor was splattered with blood. She swallowed and pulled her mother's wand from her apron pocket.
"Girl!"
She jumped again. "C...coming!"
She whispered a quick cleaning spell and the floor was clean. Her arm on the other hand, was still bleeding. She wrapped it tightly in one of the scrap cloths she had intended to clean the razors with and pulled her sleeve down before opening the door.
When she reached Augusta's chambers, Caryn knocked quietly.
Augusta called strongly for her to enter.
Caryn eased the door open and stepped into the room.
Augusta sat regally in an antique armchair. "What kept you?"
"I was cleaning ma'am." Caryn stood with her hands folded in front of her, looking at her feet.
"I told you to bring me a response from my grandson girl." Venom flowed with every syllable from her lips.
"I did Ma'am. I..."
"I wanted a letter from Severus." Augusta leaned back in her chair, fondling the head of her ever-present cane. "I bet you didn't even talk to him... I bet you tore up that letter and lied to me." she seemed to be speaking to herself instead of Caryn.
"Ma'am, you have my word..." Yet again she was interrupted.
"What's your word worth? Nothing!" She pointed to the door dramatically. "I want you out of my house! I refuse to allow a cheating, lying little brat like you in my house!"
Caryn looked up. The look Augusta was giving her was one of utter loathing She was being thrown out of the only home she'd ever known. "Yes Ma'am."
Caryn walked quietly to the door and went to her rooms. In less than half an hour, her belongings were packed and she was heading to the front door. As she shut the door behind her, a smile came to her lips. Stupid woman. Her families' debt paid, Caryn was free to do anything she pleased. She was free to be herself.
Anger was burning inside of her, threatening to explode, to shatter her. She had to take the pressure off... it hurt... She could feel the anger; the self-loathing stretching her skin until she thought it would tear.
The razor glinted in the sun as she lifted it. She was supposed to clean them, to polish them, but they felt cool to her hot hands. She pressed the blade against her face, feeling the coolness. She rubbed it down her arms, feeling it cool her skin.
She pressed down, wanting it to become part of her. She jumped when the razor pricked her skin. Red droplets welled, running like tears down her forearms.
The blood cooled her anger; she didn't feel ready to explode. She watched the blood run. It calmed her, reminding her of her mothers tears. Her mother's tears had been of blood, but she had never thought it odd. Her father would yell when her mother cried and when she was bad he'd whip her. He never cried but his eyes would glow a brilliant red, like hellfire, and his ugly face would come out.
If only she'd been a better girl. Mommy wouldn't have left and Daddy...
Pain expanded in her chest and she once again filled with self-loathing.
He scared her. A sob escaped her throat and the pain in her chest expanded.
She looked down at the blood running down her arm and pressed the blade to her skin. Cool tears of blood wept from the wound and again the pain eased.
"Girl!"
Caryn jumped and dropped the razor, staring at it in horror. She'd cut... She'd always resisted the temptation before.
The floor was splattered with blood. She swallowed and pulled her mother's wand from her apron pocket.
"Girl!"
She jumped again. "C...coming!"
She whispered a quick cleaning spell and the floor was clean. Her arm on the other hand, was still bleeding. She wrapped it tightly in one of the scrap cloths she had intended to clean the razors with and pulled her sleeve down before opening the door.
When she reached Augusta's chambers, Caryn knocked quietly.
Augusta called strongly for her to enter.
Caryn eased the door open and stepped into the room.
Augusta sat regally in an antique armchair. "What kept you?"
"I was cleaning ma'am." Caryn stood with her hands folded in front of her, looking at her feet.
"I told you to bring me a response from my grandson girl." Venom flowed with every syllable from her lips.
"I did Ma'am. I..."
"I wanted a letter from Severus." Augusta leaned back in her chair, fondling the head of her ever-present cane. "I bet you didn't even talk to him... I bet you tore up that letter and lied to me." she seemed to be speaking to herself instead of Caryn.
"Ma'am, you have my word..." Yet again she was interrupted.
"What's your word worth? Nothing!" She pointed to the door dramatically. "I want you out of my house! I refuse to allow a cheating, lying little brat like you in my house!"
Caryn looked up. The look Augusta was giving her was one of utter loathing She was being thrown out of the only home she'd ever known. "Yes Ma'am."
Caryn walked quietly to the door and went to her rooms. In less than half an hour, her belongings were packed and she was heading to the front door. As she shut the door behind her, a smile came to her lips. Stupid woman. Her families' debt paid, Caryn was free to do anything she pleased. She was free to be herself.