The pancake breakfast is dedicated to pink trudy. :)
Chapter Six: Stronger
Amber got payed exactly a week after she started her job. With the surprisingly hefty sum, Amber didn't know if she should of been outraged City Hall employees were getting paid so much or to be grateful she had worked hard to earn good money.
But she knew one thing: it was time to move out of Trudy's.
"I'm going to need a campaign headquarters, and I've been staying with you so long," Amber explained to her best friend one night when they both got home from work. Amber had told Trudy about her plans to run the night Lex had come over, but Trudy was apprehensive.
"Amber are you sure? It's been two months since you left Bray, and everything with you and Lex..."
"I'm sure, Trudy. I'm happy my life has been picking up this fast. It's been overwhelming, but I was so ready for it," Amber said. She stood in her pajama pants and t-shirt, brushing her teeth in Trudy's master bathroom.
Trudy spit in one of the double sinks.
"If you think you're ready for it, I support you 100%," Trudy looked at her through the mirror.
Amber put down her brush, and ducked her mouth under the faucet. She swished and spat.
"Thank you Trudy," Amber wiped her mouth with a towel.
Despite their many different choices in life, Amber and Trudy had a very loyal, and equal friendship. They had been there for eachother countless times, and those circumstances had tied them together. Trudy's transformation from the Supreme Mother back to Trudy, when Bray went missing during the Techno occupation, helping eachother out during the first months as MallRats after the Virus.
Trudy's opinion meant everything. She was truely like a sister, not just because they had been former sister-in-laws.
BJ called Trudy Aunt Trudy, and Brady called Amber Aunt Amber. The kids had even started to call Lex, who came around more and more, Uncle Lex. It was a happy family bound by the past: very strong, indeed.
Put off only a little by Trudy's concern, Amber had no trouble sleeping that night. Being in the guestroom with BJ, and listening to his soft breathing sent her to dreamland in a heartbeat.
The next morning, Amber's alarm clock buzzed her awake. Yawning, she jumped out of bed and woke BJ up (she wondered how he could sleep through such an evil sound blaring so loudly through the room, Amber often felt like her eardrums might explode). The two stumbled into the bright kitchen, eye's adjusting to the light, where Trudy had prepared a pancake breakfast.
"Morning, sleepyheads," Trudy laughed as Amber and BJ sat down at the table by Brady.
"Need any help, Trude?" Amber asked. BJ leaned against her, falling asleep again before Brady kicked him under the table. He sat up, yawning.
"No, it's all done. You know how I love to cook," Trudy smiled, sitting down and putting a jar of syrup and butter from Alice's Farm on the table. A large stack of simmering hot golden pancakes sat in the middle of the wood and white tiles, next to a pitcher of orange juice and a bowl of fruit.
Amber and Trudy took BJ and Brady's plates and filled them with food, and than took their own and stacked the scrumptious edibles upon the dark blue glass that Trudy had purchased at Java's Blue Towel Boutique which sold household goods. It seemed everyone was an entreupeneur those days.
Amber cut into the stack of pancakes on her plate, syrup dripping down the canyon she had hacked. She shoved the forkful in her mouth, delighting in the splendid glory of the taste. No one, not even Aphrodite Stevens and her crazy cronies at City Hall, could ruin simple things like sweet and sour chicken at Chinese Buffets with groups of girlfriends or pancake breakfasts with best friends turned surrogate families.
"I went to the market today, and bought an Amulet for you," Trudy filled a glass of orange juice for Brady.
"You went before it was light out?" BJ asked incrediously.
"I did. You know some people like to wake up early and enjoy the morning, unlike your mother," Trudy teased.
"Not everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn like your Aunt Trudy, BJ. And don't you forget it," Amber said through a mouthful of pancake.
Amber took the large gray paper from the table where she hadn't even noticed it.
"Thank you Trudy. I appreciate it," Amber unfolded the paper, casually throwing strawberries into her mouth.
"I know," Trudy grinned. She took a large swig of her juice, and poured more syrup on her pancakes.
Amber opened The Amulet to the front page.
Sprawled in large, black letters was the headline:
APHRODITE: "I SAY WE FOCUS ON THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT THE PAST": THE CITY WONDERS IF THE GLORY OF OLYMPUS WILL PREVAIL IF STEVENS WINS AGAIN AFTER A MEDIOCRE 1ST TERM AS CITY LEADER
by KAREN BUSHMAN
Underneath the headline was a picture of Aphrodite, and an article:
The City -- Aphrodite Stevens, current City Leader, announced she is running for a 2nd term in next month's election. After a brief press conference at City Hall last week, Stevens has set off a firestorm of controversey about City politics and her performance as City Leader the past four years.
"When you're dealing with how to run a city, you do things viligantly and honestly-- Ms. Stevens and her administration have proved themselves unworthy of regaining the post of City Leader for a second time. It doesn't take an idiot to survey the destruction of the rebuilding process they've done," says May Adams of the City Iniative Fund, a political watchdog group.
Adams plans to scower the City with the Iniative Fund for potential canidates to run against the City Leader after the Stevens administration changed city election laws three months ago.
"The changing of the laws is difficult to explain, but for the most part Aphrodite Stevens has brought not only stability to the City, but a sense of pride and goodness. Go to any poor section of town and see the good that her programs like City Stamps have brought the people. They couldn't live without her," says Ben Frist of the Conservative Political Foundation, an organization that is backing most of the Stevens Campaign's financially.
"Despite the torn views, it's not hard to balance the good with the bad," Political analyst and historian Randall Peterson of City Hall's Historical Advisory Commitee says. "If you look at the City Stamps program it looks like a good idea, but in the end individuals potentially end up in huge debt. These things must be looked at, and studied carefully by the City so those who vote will have a good picture of what is happening, and what canidates are aiming to achieve. The bottom line of the Stevens administration is that they have good ideas, but they don't have the people or resources to put them through properly. That's not opinion-- it's proof of the last four years."
Stevens' City Stamps program gives "City Stamps" to low-income families who cannot afford to buy food on their own. Instead of money, the City Stamps buy food from volunteer merchants around the City. However, the negative aspect of the program is that these families must pay back the money spent via the stamps in three years or less. Many have been out of work for years, and those who use the program are owing more money to City Hall than the middle-income and high-income classes combined, according to a survey conducted by the Numbers Group, a stastics research lab on 1st Street.
Other programs, such as "Greek Style City Lunches", weekly public soup-kitchens held in low-income sectors of the City, are also failing in funds and in attendance due to poor food quality and staunch behavior by members of the Stevens administration running the program.
Many citizens with political agendas were planning on running for the slot as 5th City Leader until Stevens' administration made a change in election laws that only allow those with political backgrounds, which few in the City have, to run for office. A political background qualifies not only as being a tribal leader, but as a "contribution to the City that goes beyond uniting against past forces, or making things better for a single tribe-- it is giving all you could give, and showing responsibility while at it." The change passed City Council 1 to 30.
Critics are calling the change "sickening, and cowardly" because Stevens was not suspected to win if she ran again during this next election.
The outcome of the election is certainly up for grabs, but the City is asking: will the ball end up back on Mount Olympus or in the fresh new agenda of a new City Leader?
Only time will tell.
Amber finished reading the article (and her pancakes).
"May runs a political watchdog group?" She asked Trudy skeptically.
"Something like that. I haven't seen May for months, but I think Salene still talks to her. She's always doing something new," Trudy shrugged.
"There's an article on the front page about Aphrodite and May was quoted," Amber said.
"Huh," Trudy said like she didn't really care. She took her plate to the sink and rinsed it off.
Amber flipped through the rest of the paper. Movie listings, ads, editorials ("WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A BAD LEADER DOES IT AGAIN" by Mark Fuller), tv guides, local news, national news. Suddenly something caught Amber's eye under public gatherings in the classifieds:
[I]WLO MEETING
Veritification needed for entrance
We urge you to come if you need help
6:30 PM TONIGHT AT CINEMA 4 THEATRE
SECTOR 10[/I]
The WLO? That was the Women's Liberation Operation, the underground project that hid abused women from their husbands. Tai-San had urged Amber to join.
"Trudy, the WLO is in here," Amber whispered.
Trudy walked over to Amber, and peered at the paper.
"What's the WLO?"
"The Women's Liberation Operation-- Tai-San wanted me to to do it. It's where abused women go underground to hide from their husbands," Amber explained.
"Tai wanted you to join that?" Trudy asked with a surprised tone to her voice.
"Yes, but I refused to give up my identity just to hide from Bray," Amber said bitterly. She had gained a lot of strength in the past months, and she was very proud.
"They give up their entire identities? Just to hide?"
"I know, that's what doesn't make sense," Amber shook her head.
"Hmm, maybe you should go to this meeting," Trudy suggested.
Go to the meeting? And do what?
"Why? I don't need to hide," Amber said.
"I know, but look at the situation: you were an abused woman, your rebuilding your life. These women could use your advice, plus you're running for City Leader. It'll give them hope," Trudy said, hand on hip.
"I should, huh?" Amber said quietly. If she could go to this meeting, somehow wiggle herself in, and than convince the women to stop hiding, she could win a large support for the election. But it wasn't for votes-- it would be to help people through hells she had been through.
"Yes, you should. We should both be getting our kids ready for school too," Trudy chimed.
"Oh, sh[I][/I]it," Amber slapped herself on the forehead. BJ was sleeping at the table, his elbow on his syrup-ridden empty plate. Brady's head was on his lap.
Amber and Trudy woke their children up, and got them ready. Trudy got ready, and drove the kids to school as Amber showered.
As she curled the tips of her hair, Amber decided she would visit the WLO meeting. What was there to lose? Nothing. But she didn't want to go alone. Curling iron in hand, she took the portable phone from the kitchen and dialed Siva's number.
"Hello?"
"Why aren't you at work?" Amber teased.
"Because Shoshana had the sniffles. Why aren't you at work, Miss Save the Universe?"
"Because I don't work for another half hour."
"Hmmm, so what did you need?"
Amber explained to Siva about the meeting that night.
"So will you go with me? I'll get Mouse to sit for BJ and Shoshana."
"I'll go for sure. Why don't I pick you up at Trudy's at 6:00?"
"K, sounds good. Thanks so much Siv," Amber said, grateful she had such good friends.
"No problem, babe. See ya tonight."
Amber hung up the phone, and finished doing her hair. With a final sprint of Albertson's perfume, she watched for Trudy's car to pull up out the window.
Getting through all of her emotional baggage hadn't been done alone. She had had a great support network of firm, strong friends who, despite her lack of contact with, came right back to rescue her from the self-imposed exile. The WLO needed to stop the hiding the women; they needed to be a support network instead. Support was absolutely integral to the rebuilding process.
A honk sounded from below, and Amber grabbed her purse and left the apartment.
"I just talked to Siva," She shut the door of Trudy's car. Trudy backed out of the parking lot.
"Is she going to go with you tonight?" Trudy asked.
"Yeah, do you want to go?"
"I would, but Brady has a dance recital."
"A dance recital? At one of Aphrodite's schools?"
"Rehearsals started last week. The day after the press conference," Trudy said dryly, catching Amber's eye.
A dance recital? Out of the blue, right after announcing running in the election?
"Good God," Amber said in disgust.
"We could all use some of him about now. I think this is going to get messy, Amber," Trudy turned down the road to City Hall.
"Messy?" Amber said. She was starting to get a headache.
"Aphrodite isn't going to take your nomination lightly," Trudy said.
Amber had dreaded anyone mentioning that. After she told Frieda about the nomination, she was excited for a few minutes and than went back to her computer. Amber could tell Frieda thought it was a lost cause; even a nuisance because both canidates worked in the same place-- City Hall.
"One word of caution, Amber," Frieda said, typing away. Louis, the computer technician had left five minutes before after an entire network meltdown. Her boss was always in a negative mood after things started to work again.
"What's that?"
"Aphrodite is going to make your life a living hell."
"Dammit, Trudy, what if she [i]does[/i] make work crazy? Why can't we just be civil and live and let live?" Amber said in frusteration. Her headache grew worse.
"If that's the price it takes to fix all of the damage she's caused, than maybe it's worth it," Trudy said. She pulled up to the curb, and dropped Amber off.
"We'll see, Trude. Have a good day," Amber got out of the car.
"Good luck," Trudy said as Amber shut the door. Trudy seemed to say that too much to her.
Slightly nervous, Amber climbed the steps of City Hall with all of the other department works, City Council people, and employees. She entered through the large glass doors, but instead of taking the hallway that lead to the Department of Social Services, Amber took a different route: she was going to fill out an application for her canidacy in the City Election.
Breathing hard as strangers stared at her trying to find her way, Amber tried to find the Department of City Works where she was to apply. After ten minutes, she asked a woman walking into one of the departments. It turned out that was the Department of City Works.
"Oh-- well, um," Amber cleared her throat. "I'd like to fill out an application for the City Election."
The woman stared at her, mouth literally hung open. "You want to do what?"
"I want to run for City Leader."
The woman seemed to regain her composure as what Amber said sunk into her.
"Er-- okay. Follow me," The woman directed.
Amber waited anxiously as the woman dug into her purse for keys and opened up the department door. Above it, in a black plate with white engravings was: THE DEPARTMENT OF CITY WORKS. The woman propped open the door with a doorstop, and motioned for Amber to take a seat across from a receptionist's chair as she flipped on the lights.
The Department of City Works was a replica of the Department of Social Services. Except the lights in the City Works front office were not flickering or didn't work, and shiny computers definitely not from the 1980's sat at a series of desks behind the receptionist's.
Amber sat down on the comfortable maroon-cushioned seat as the woman set her purse down and started her computer.
"I'm Jane Spencer," Jane Spencer held out her hand for Amber to shake, a smile on her face. Amber sat up, and shook Jane's hand.
Jane was a slim woman, with short, blonde hair that didn't need much taming. She was wearing a thin, red long sleeved shirt tucked into tan khaki pants.
"I'm Amber Jennings," Amber said as Jane took her seat.
Much to Amber's surprise, Jane didn't seem too perplexed about who she was. It was rather relieving.
"Wondered when I'd get to meet you," Jane squinted at her computer screen, and furiously punched the keys of her keyboard.
"I'm sorry?"
Jane turned to look at her. "Aphrodite told everyone you got a job at Social Services last week."
"Oh..."
"Aphrodite's kind of crazy," Jane shrugged. She finished what she was doing at the computer and fished a form from a drawer in the desk.
"You said you wanted an application for the City Election?" Jane asked.
"Yes," Amber said firmly. She took the application from Jane.
"Suit yourself. Fill it out like it says, and please use this pen," Jane handed Amber a blue pen with a clear sticker sealed on front that read CITY WORKS @ CITY HALL. Why didn't Social Services have pens like that?
Amber scribbled in the blank spaces, and handed the application back to Jane.
Jane scanned the application. "Seems everything is here."
"Is that it?"
"It is. Good luck in the election, Amber," Jane stood up, and shook Amber's hand.
As Amber left the office, she felt Jane's eyes follow her out.
~*~
At 6:00, after saying goodbye to Mouse, BJ, and Shoshana, Siva and Amber arrived in Sector 10 at Cinema 4 Theatre.
Sector 10 was one of the low-income sectors The Amulet had talked about. It had not been cleaned up, and was full of shabby, ran-down buildings. Old apartments dotted the empty, trashed streets, and graffiti choked every wall in sight.
"God, this is like we're back to the tribal times," Amber had whispered as they drove through the eerie, quite streets.
"Reminds me of the City before I joined the Technos," Siva stared out the windows.
It had been hard to find the Cinema 4 Theatre. There were no maps of the entire City, and most signs that adorned buildings were broken, full of graffiti, or unreadable because of harsh weather. But five minutes to 6:30, Siva and Amber had finally found the old theatre, right in the middle of the sector.
Cinema 4 Theatre was tarnished. It looked like an old woman who had seen too much-- with gray brick, and a large peeling sign over the old movie marquees that had yellowed, and flickered in the night. They parked in the parking lot full of battered cars, nice cars, and cars made just before the Virus. Only a few women were walking in, and they looked nervous and unsure.
"Amber, how do we get in?" Siva looped her arm around Amber's firmly as she eyed the women walking in.
"We talk our way through," Amber said. She walked firmly, confidently. She wanted to show these women that there was life after death.
They walked up a cement sidewalk to the old ticket stand. A black woman with a green turtleneck sat in the booth, clipping off red slips of paper.
"Vertification?" She said as Amber and Siva's turn came in the line.
"Um, we don't have vertification," Amber said.
The woman looked at her like she was an idiot. "Than you can't attend tonight's meeting."
"But I was abused," Amber felt her confidence draining slightly. Telling someone she didn't know was scary-- what if they didn't believe she had overcome, and that she had even found a new love?
The woman stared at Amber.
"I was abused by my husband," Amber coughed. "I-- I went to my healer, Tai-San, and she told me about you guys. I didn't want to give up my identity, so I just left. I'm staying with my friend Trudy, but I rebuilt myself. I've healed from all of the wounds, I have a good job at City Hall, and I'm running for City Leader."
"Wait a minute-" the woman's eyes widened.
"Yes, she is Amber Jennings," Siva said dryly.
A murmur slid through those behind them. The woman in the booth stared.
"Wow, I'm so pleased to meet you! My husband, you may remember him-- Ethan? He was in the Eco's," The woman's voice shook slightly, a grin taking over her face.
Ethan? Of course she had known Ethan! He was like a little brother when she had lead the Gaians.
"Oh my God, how is he?" Amber asked, full of relief. Her confidence swept itself back inside of her, killing her nervousness.
"He's good-- we both volunteer our time to help the WLO. I'm Heather, by the way," Heather nodded.
"That's great, it really is. Tell Ethan I said hello," Amber smiled.
"Can we get in?" Siva asked bluntly. Heather looked taken back by her.
"Of course you can get in," She snapped, annoyed. She opened a drawer inside the ticket booth and took out two red slips that she clipped with a pair of rusty scissors.
"Bye Amber," Heather called as she and Siva slipped into the lobby of the theatre.
"God, the people you knew," Siva laughed.
"I didn't know leading the MallRats and wanting a safe world would make me so well-known," Amber grinned. The two friends followed a large group of women walking into one of the theatres through the black curtains.
"This is like going back to the movies," Siva said.
But instead of a darkened area, and a bright screen, the two came upon two huge screens, a large stage built in front of it, and what looked like hundreds of women filling the seats of two theatres where the walls seperating them had been completely knocked out. There were three rows of seating-- a balcony, a middle balcony, and the floor. The floor seating was still filling up.
"Come on, let's sit in front," Amber nudged Siva and she pulled her down the isle of crowded women.
The stage was wood. It looked like it had been built with long planks with an old carpet spread out on top. In the center of the stage was a wooden podium, and women swarming around, trying to get control of things.
Siva and Amber took two seats directly in front. A minute later, the meeting started.
Amber's mouth dropped open when she saw Jane Spencer walk up to the podium, shuffling papers on top, and beginning the meeting.
"Welcome to the Women's Liberation Operation," Jane said, "many of you know about the WLO from your doctors and healers; from your sisters, brothers, even children; some from your jobs, and others from friends. Some stumbled across on their own. Whatever way you were lead, we are here now. And you are here with us. We are all in this room tonight for one reason: because of abuse.
Before the Virus, abuse and women went together like roses and love. We had the police to sort things out when our relationships got too messy, but when all of the adults died we were left to suffer. And suffer many of us did.
My boyfriend at the time, Henry? He was a Loco. And every night he would come into the little apartment we shared together, full of roaches and insects, and he would beat me. Beat me until my vision was damaged, beat me until I had nothing left but tears. Beat me until one day I went to one of the makeshift markets and I traded my mother's wedding ring for a pistol.
I went home. I waited, crying on the sofa, and out of my mind-- I waited for Henry. And when he opened the door, I shot the b[I][/I]astard."
A muffled surprise vibrated throughout the audience.
"Harsh. I know," Jane said quietly, her eyes moving to each section of women. Amber felt like Jane was speaking directly to her.
"But Henry drove me over the edge, and I did what my instincts told me. I was pregnant when I killed him. I ran from the apartment, and went to the hotel where Loco headquarters was. I told Henry's friend I shot him. He hit me too, so I ran. I ran until I collapsed in an alley.
That is where this woman found me," Jane pointed to a plump woman sitting on a chair on the stage.
"Frieda Garcia saved my life, nursing me back to health. And together, when we found many more women to be abused, we decided we had to do something. I didn't want another woman to do what I did. To reach the point of insanity. And so the Women's Liberation Operation was formed."
Amber was stunned in her seat. Frieda and Jane ran the WLO?!
"And now you want answers. You want to know how to leave, what to do: you're scared for yourself, maybe for your children. But you don't have to be any more. We can give you a new life-- a new you."
"No!" Amber suddenly stood up, a very small woman in the huge conjoined theatres.
Jane peered over the podium down at her, surprised.
Amber gulped.
What the WLO was saying was wrong. The women didn't have to give up-- they had to support eachother, and fight back! They had to divorce, rebuild, get new jobs, move out, find new love!
"I'm saying no, because you do not have to become a new woman to get a new life," Amber called out, her voice trembling slightly.
"Do you have something to say, Amber?" Jane stared at her with cold eyes.
Amber stared back with full force. "Yeah, Jane-- I do."
Firmly, she strode down the isle and walked crude steps up to the stage where she stood in front of the podium.
Every single eye was on her. She looked behind to see Frieda giving her a "What the hell do you think you're doing?" look.
"You don't have to be someone you're not to get away," Amber spoke into the microphone.
For the next two hours she recited her story. She told the theatre, her voice echoing off the walls, what had happend.
She told them about Bray. She didn't doubt many remembered him. She told them about their powerful love for eachother, her death, Ebony's betrayal, Dal's death, the Chosen war, BJ's birth, the Technos, Jay, Bray once more, their wedding, the first beating, her decent into isolation.
And than she told them of her decision to leave. Of Trudy's taking her in. Of Bray finding her; of his jail sentence. She told them about her job. And she told them about running for City Leader.
When it was over, a distilled silence followed.
"Thank you," Amber said into the microphone.
The applause was so loud that Amber almost had to cover her ears. Every single woman, at least four hundred people, were clapping for her. In every single seat she had touched them all.
Moved profoundly, Amber's face was streaked with tears as Siva moved up the stage, and hugged her.
"Look," Amber said, pointing to Siva. "Look at my friends! The WLO needs to be a support group-- it needs to be the backbone of your rebuilding process. Don't give away your life for the one who is hurting you-- don't give them that. Instead, give yourself a future."
With Siva's help, Amber walked off the stage, and they left.
~*~
That night, as Amber sat in bed, the bedside lamp switched on, BJ sleeping quietly, she flipped through the classifieds of The Amulet.
She found an apartment.
~*~
"That's it, Lex," Amber set the last box of her clothes on the cluttered counter of her new apartment.
Lex shut the door of Amber's new apartment with his foot, his arms full.
"What's that?" Amber went to him, and slid her hands around his waist.
"I thought we could have a picnic," Lex leaned in for a kiss.
"At midnight in my living room?" Amber smiled, her eyes taking in Lex's face so close to her.
"Your damn right," Lex whispered. He dropped the things in his arms, and moved in to kiss her.
Both of them had been stressed out lately. The Police Department was straining itself over riots in the poor sectors of the City because of Aphrodite. Amber, because of the intensity that had developed at work because of the election. She was frusterated because no one talked to her-- Frieda had said nothing, and she never saw Jane. The supposed abuse Aphrodite would bestow on her hadn't occured yet.
It felt good to be in Lex's strong arms. She felt loved, sexy, beautiful, and full of a vibrant energy. Amber's hands slipped to Lex's waist where she pulled Lex closer to her body.
"Getting rough?" Lex broke their kissing.
"You bet I am," Amber resumed it.
In a daring act, her hands slid under Lex's black fitting t-shirt. She pulled the fabric slowly off as her hands arched across his smooth skin. In response, Lex reached under her shirt and started to undo her bra.
The last time Amber had sex with Bray came rushing back to her.
She was at home, having visited Tai-San about her injuries earlier that day. She had waited on the sofa, with her old customary glass of wine, waiting for him, dinner on the table. She hated to think of those times. They were full of so much pain. And when he had come home, he had beat her. Beat her until she was delirious and half-unconcious.
Amber remembered how his strong hands had pulled up her dress. In her unconcious state, the only thing she knew was that he was touching her, and she hated him for it. She had slapped him off, but he punched her face. He punched her until she was powerless of her limbs, and could only succumb to his power over her.
The rest were brief images and sounds: Bray unbuckling his pants. His erect p[I][/I]enis dissapear under her dress. His face as he looked into her eyes the entire time. And the sounds of his moaning, and her soft crying.
Lex stirred under his pants. His hands rubbing her-- it was suddenly too much. It was Bray again! Amber shot off of Lex and backed away in horror.
"What's wrong?" Lex panted, naked above the waist.
"I can't do this!" Amber trembled. She felt an onslaught of fear conquer her mind.
Lex stood up and reached for her. Amber swiped his hand away, her instincts to defend herself taking over.
"Amber, what the hell is wrong?!" Lex shouted, getting angry. Amber kept swiping at the air in front of her, shaking uncontrollably, tears melting off her face.
"Stay away from me! You stay away from me!" Amber held out her finger rigidly, shaking, her eyes contorted as she watched Lex's every move. If he touched her, she would kill him! Kill him!
"I want to help you, Amber. [I]What is wrong[/I]?" Lex asked urgently, his fierceness dieing down. He took Amber's arm in a soft gesture.
Her head exploded, all regions of her logic gone. Amber started to scream. A scream so loud that neighbors beneath her woke up in traumatic states, and people on the sidewalks could hear her. It was sharp, piercing, full of fear.
"AMBER!" Lex shouted angrily.
"Get out!" Amber ran to the kitchen, and shielded herself behind the counter, hiding.
Lex followed her, determined not to leave her in such a state.
"Babe, I want to help you. I would never hurt you," Lex whispered. He stood at the opening of the kitchen. He felt like his heart was torn to pieces as Amber rejected him.
Amber crawled into a ball, grabbing her knees, snot dripping from her nose. She started to scream again.
"GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET THE F[I][/I]UCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Lex left. At a phonebooth down the street, he called Trudy.
Ten minutes later she was holding Amber in her arms as she fell asleep.
~*~
Lex hadn't called in over a week.
It was scaring her. Amber didn't want Lex to think it was him that had caused her episode.
It was the abuse she had endured. It was the thought of a man using her.
As she had turned her back to her past, it came stabbing back. Violently. So violently that next morning she was so out of her element she couldn't speak until she got to work. And even then she was quiet, and shaken. Frieda had ignored her for the most part, and despite families who came in for City Stamps, she sat at her two positions at the Department of Social Services and thought about the night before over and over.
Sex had brought back Bray. The only man she had ever been intimate with physically before the first time she and Lex made love. It was like her body was still Bray's territory-- his land to roam, to rule. Why couldn't she just break away and be done? Why hadn't she freaked out the first time Lex touched her?
But the past was a tricky thing. It could not be erased just because of a few good turns of luck, and it would not be forgotten. Amber thought about that as she trudged through the next week, not taking phone calls, and working steadily on her campaign for City Leader.
In retaliation, the new Amber wanted to fight back against the weak one. The new woman was sick of the past, so sick and tired of over-analyzing, of wonder, of what-ifs. What-ifs did nothing. Only action did things. Action benefited the poor, and made amendments to insane laws.
The night after moving into her apartment, Amber called Java. Java did photography on the side as a hobby, and had agreed to do shots for Amber for her election posters. And the day after the photoshoot, she spent her lunchhour going over campaign slogans with Salene. They finally settled on one Salene said would "put all of your plans into a basket and sell them to the public." And the day after that on her lunchhour, Amber took the photos she picked from her shoot and the written slogan to Trudy's where she designed a poster on her computer. She saved it to a disk, and printed it off at a printing shop where she ordered 500 posters and 2,000 flyers.
The end result was her campaign slogan on the top of her favorite picture Java had taken:
IF YOU WANT TRUST
IF YOU WANT A FUTURE
IF YOU WANT STABILITY
VOTE AMBER JENNINGS FOR CITY LEADER
THINK OF TOMORROW
In the photo, Amber was sitting down, her legs crossed, and her hand under her chin, staring into the camera seriously. Behind her was a ruffled white sheet from her linen closet.
When she got home from work, Amber would unpack her apartment. She would watch television with BJ. She would skim markets for her own furniture. She would go shopping for food. Trudy would visit, and sit with her without saying a word, and leave without saying a word.
But during all that time, Lex did not appear.
Chapter Six: Stronger
Amber got payed exactly a week after she started her job. With the surprisingly hefty sum, Amber didn't know if she should of been outraged City Hall employees were getting paid so much or to be grateful she had worked hard to earn good money.
But she knew one thing: it was time to move out of Trudy's.
"I'm going to need a campaign headquarters, and I've been staying with you so long," Amber explained to her best friend one night when they both got home from work. Amber had told Trudy about her plans to run the night Lex had come over, but Trudy was apprehensive.
"Amber are you sure? It's been two months since you left Bray, and everything with you and Lex..."
"I'm sure, Trudy. I'm happy my life has been picking up this fast. It's been overwhelming, but I was so ready for it," Amber said. She stood in her pajama pants and t-shirt, brushing her teeth in Trudy's master bathroom.
Trudy spit in one of the double sinks.
"If you think you're ready for it, I support you 100%," Trudy looked at her through the mirror.
Amber put down her brush, and ducked her mouth under the faucet. She swished and spat.
"Thank you Trudy," Amber wiped her mouth with a towel.
Despite their many different choices in life, Amber and Trudy had a very loyal, and equal friendship. They had been there for eachother countless times, and those circumstances had tied them together. Trudy's transformation from the Supreme Mother back to Trudy, when Bray went missing during the Techno occupation, helping eachother out during the first months as MallRats after the Virus.
Trudy's opinion meant everything. She was truely like a sister, not just because they had been former sister-in-laws.
BJ called Trudy Aunt Trudy, and Brady called Amber Aunt Amber. The kids had even started to call Lex, who came around more and more, Uncle Lex. It was a happy family bound by the past: very strong, indeed.
Put off only a little by Trudy's concern, Amber had no trouble sleeping that night. Being in the guestroom with BJ, and listening to his soft breathing sent her to dreamland in a heartbeat.
The next morning, Amber's alarm clock buzzed her awake. Yawning, she jumped out of bed and woke BJ up (she wondered how he could sleep through such an evil sound blaring so loudly through the room, Amber often felt like her eardrums might explode). The two stumbled into the bright kitchen, eye's adjusting to the light, where Trudy had prepared a pancake breakfast.
"Morning, sleepyheads," Trudy laughed as Amber and BJ sat down at the table by Brady.
"Need any help, Trude?" Amber asked. BJ leaned against her, falling asleep again before Brady kicked him under the table. He sat up, yawning.
"No, it's all done. You know how I love to cook," Trudy smiled, sitting down and putting a jar of syrup and butter from Alice's Farm on the table. A large stack of simmering hot golden pancakes sat in the middle of the wood and white tiles, next to a pitcher of orange juice and a bowl of fruit.
Amber and Trudy took BJ and Brady's plates and filled them with food, and than took their own and stacked the scrumptious edibles upon the dark blue glass that Trudy had purchased at Java's Blue Towel Boutique which sold household goods. It seemed everyone was an entreupeneur those days.
Amber cut into the stack of pancakes on her plate, syrup dripping down the canyon she had hacked. She shoved the forkful in her mouth, delighting in the splendid glory of the taste. No one, not even Aphrodite Stevens and her crazy cronies at City Hall, could ruin simple things like sweet and sour chicken at Chinese Buffets with groups of girlfriends or pancake breakfasts with best friends turned surrogate families.
"I went to the market today, and bought an Amulet for you," Trudy filled a glass of orange juice for Brady.
"You went before it was light out?" BJ asked incrediously.
"I did. You know some people like to wake up early and enjoy the morning, unlike your mother," Trudy teased.
"Not everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn like your Aunt Trudy, BJ. And don't you forget it," Amber said through a mouthful of pancake.
Amber took the large gray paper from the table where she hadn't even noticed it.
"Thank you Trudy. I appreciate it," Amber unfolded the paper, casually throwing strawberries into her mouth.
"I know," Trudy grinned. She took a large swig of her juice, and poured more syrup on her pancakes.
Amber opened The Amulet to the front page.
Sprawled in large, black letters was the headline:
APHRODITE: "I SAY WE FOCUS ON THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT THE PAST": THE CITY WONDERS IF THE GLORY OF OLYMPUS WILL PREVAIL IF STEVENS WINS AGAIN AFTER A MEDIOCRE 1ST TERM AS CITY LEADER
by KAREN BUSHMAN
Underneath the headline was a picture of Aphrodite, and an article:
The City -- Aphrodite Stevens, current City Leader, announced she is running for a 2nd term in next month's election. After a brief press conference at City Hall last week, Stevens has set off a firestorm of controversey about City politics and her performance as City Leader the past four years.
"When you're dealing with how to run a city, you do things viligantly and honestly-- Ms. Stevens and her administration have proved themselves unworthy of regaining the post of City Leader for a second time. It doesn't take an idiot to survey the destruction of the rebuilding process they've done," says May Adams of the City Iniative Fund, a political watchdog group.
Adams plans to scower the City with the Iniative Fund for potential canidates to run against the City Leader after the Stevens administration changed city election laws three months ago.
"The changing of the laws is difficult to explain, but for the most part Aphrodite Stevens has brought not only stability to the City, but a sense of pride and goodness. Go to any poor section of town and see the good that her programs like City Stamps have brought the people. They couldn't live without her," says Ben Frist of the Conservative Political Foundation, an organization that is backing most of the Stevens Campaign's financially.
"Despite the torn views, it's not hard to balance the good with the bad," Political analyst and historian Randall Peterson of City Hall's Historical Advisory Commitee says. "If you look at the City Stamps program it looks like a good idea, but in the end individuals potentially end up in huge debt. These things must be looked at, and studied carefully by the City so those who vote will have a good picture of what is happening, and what canidates are aiming to achieve. The bottom line of the Stevens administration is that they have good ideas, but they don't have the people or resources to put them through properly. That's not opinion-- it's proof of the last four years."
Stevens' City Stamps program gives "City Stamps" to low-income families who cannot afford to buy food on their own. Instead of money, the City Stamps buy food from volunteer merchants around the City. However, the negative aspect of the program is that these families must pay back the money spent via the stamps in three years or less. Many have been out of work for years, and those who use the program are owing more money to City Hall than the middle-income and high-income classes combined, according to a survey conducted by the Numbers Group, a stastics research lab on 1st Street.
Other programs, such as "Greek Style City Lunches", weekly public soup-kitchens held in low-income sectors of the City, are also failing in funds and in attendance due to poor food quality and staunch behavior by members of the Stevens administration running the program.
Many citizens with political agendas were planning on running for the slot as 5th City Leader until Stevens' administration made a change in election laws that only allow those with political backgrounds, which few in the City have, to run for office. A political background qualifies not only as being a tribal leader, but as a "contribution to the City that goes beyond uniting against past forces, or making things better for a single tribe-- it is giving all you could give, and showing responsibility while at it." The change passed City Council 1 to 30.
Critics are calling the change "sickening, and cowardly" because Stevens was not suspected to win if she ran again during this next election.
The outcome of the election is certainly up for grabs, but the City is asking: will the ball end up back on Mount Olympus or in the fresh new agenda of a new City Leader?
Only time will tell.
Amber finished reading the article (and her pancakes).
"May runs a political watchdog group?" She asked Trudy skeptically.
"Something like that. I haven't seen May for months, but I think Salene still talks to her. She's always doing something new," Trudy shrugged.
"There's an article on the front page about Aphrodite and May was quoted," Amber said.
"Huh," Trudy said like she didn't really care. She took her plate to the sink and rinsed it off.
Amber flipped through the rest of the paper. Movie listings, ads, editorials ("WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A BAD LEADER DOES IT AGAIN" by Mark Fuller), tv guides, local news, national news. Suddenly something caught Amber's eye under public gatherings in the classifieds:
[I]WLO MEETING
Veritification needed for entrance
We urge you to come if you need help
6:30 PM TONIGHT AT CINEMA 4 THEATRE
SECTOR 10[/I]
The WLO? That was the Women's Liberation Operation, the underground project that hid abused women from their husbands. Tai-San had urged Amber to join.
"Trudy, the WLO is in here," Amber whispered.
Trudy walked over to Amber, and peered at the paper.
"What's the WLO?"
"The Women's Liberation Operation-- Tai-San wanted me to to do it. It's where abused women go underground to hide from their husbands," Amber explained.
"Tai wanted you to join that?" Trudy asked with a surprised tone to her voice.
"Yes, but I refused to give up my identity just to hide from Bray," Amber said bitterly. She had gained a lot of strength in the past months, and she was very proud.
"They give up their entire identities? Just to hide?"
"I know, that's what doesn't make sense," Amber shook her head.
"Hmm, maybe you should go to this meeting," Trudy suggested.
Go to the meeting? And do what?
"Why? I don't need to hide," Amber said.
"I know, but look at the situation: you were an abused woman, your rebuilding your life. These women could use your advice, plus you're running for City Leader. It'll give them hope," Trudy said, hand on hip.
"I should, huh?" Amber said quietly. If she could go to this meeting, somehow wiggle herself in, and than convince the women to stop hiding, she could win a large support for the election. But it wasn't for votes-- it would be to help people through hells she had been through.
"Yes, you should. We should both be getting our kids ready for school too," Trudy chimed.
"Oh, sh[I][/I]it," Amber slapped herself on the forehead. BJ was sleeping at the table, his elbow on his syrup-ridden empty plate. Brady's head was on his lap.
Amber and Trudy woke their children up, and got them ready. Trudy got ready, and drove the kids to school as Amber showered.
As she curled the tips of her hair, Amber decided she would visit the WLO meeting. What was there to lose? Nothing. But she didn't want to go alone. Curling iron in hand, she took the portable phone from the kitchen and dialed Siva's number.
"Hello?"
"Why aren't you at work?" Amber teased.
"Because Shoshana had the sniffles. Why aren't you at work, Miss Save the Universe?"
"Because I don't work for another half hour."
"Hmmm, so what did you need?"
Amber explained to Siva about the meeting that night.
"So will you go with me? I'll get Mouse to sit for BJ and Shoshana."
"I'll go for sure. Why don't I pick you up at Trudy's at 6:00?"
"K, sounds good. Thanks so much Siv," Amber said, grateful she had such good friends.
"No problem, babe. See ya tonight."
Amber hung up the phone, and finished doing her hair. With a final sprint of Albertson's perfume, she watched for Trudy's car to pull up out the window.
Getting through all of her emotional baggage hadn't been done alone. She had had a great support network of firm, strong friends who, despite her lack of contact with, came right back to rescue her from the self-imposed exile. The WLO needed to stop the hiding the women; they needed to be a support network instead. Support was absolutely integral to the rebuilding process.
A honk sounded from below, and Amber grabbed her purse and left the apartment.
"I just talked to Siva," She shut the door of Trudy's car. Trudy backed out of the parking lot.
"Is she going to go with you tonight?" Trudy asked.
"Yeah, do you want to go?"
"I would, but Brady has a dance recital."
"A dance recital? At one of Aphrodite's schools?"
"Rehearsals started last week. The day after the press conference," Trudy said dryly, catching Amber's eye.
A dance recital? Out of the blue, right after announcing running in the election?
"Good God," Amber said in disgust.
"We could all use some of him about now. I think this is going to get messy, Amber," Trudy turned down the road to City Hall.
"Messy?" Amber said. She was starting to get a headache.
"Aphrodite isn't going to take your nomination lightly," Trudy said.
Amber had dreaded anyone mentioning that. After she told Frieda about the nomination, she was excited for a few minutes and than went back to her computer. Amber could tell Frieda thought it was a lost cause; even a nuisance because both canidates worked in the same place-- City Hall.
"One word of caution, Amber," Frieda said, typing away. Louis, the computer technician had left five minutes before after an entire network meltdown. Her boss was always in a negative mood after things started to work again.
"What's that?"
"Aphrodite is going to make your life a living hell."
"Dammit, Trudy, what if she [i]does[/i] make work crazy? Why can't we just be civil and live and let live?" Amber said in frusteration. Her headache grew worse.
"If that's the price it takes to fix all of the damage she's caused, than maybe it's worth it," Trudy said. She pulled up to the curb, and dropped Amber off.
"We'll see, Trude. Have a good day," Amber got out of the car.
"Good luck," Trudy said as Amber shut the door. Trudy seemed to say that too much to her.
Slightly nervous, Amber climbed the steps of City Hall with all of the other department works, City Council people, and employees. She entered through the large glass doors, but instead of taking the hallway that lead to the Department of Social Services, Amber took a different route: she was going to fill out an application for her canidacy in the City Election.
Breathing hard as strangers stared at her trying to find her way, Amber tried to find the Department of City Works where she was to apply. After ten minutes, she asked a woman walking into one of the departments. It turned out that was the Department of City Works.
"Oh-- well, um," Amber cleared her throat. "I'd like to fill out an application for the City Election."
The woman stared at her, mouth literally hung open. "You want to do what?"
"I want to run for City Leader."
The woman seemed to regain her composure as what Amber said sunk into her.
"Er-- okay. Follow me," The woman directed.
Amber waited anxiously as the woman dug into her purse for keys and opened up the department door. Above it, in a black plate with white engravings was: THE DEPARTMENT OF CITY WORKS. The woman propped open the door with a doorstop, and motioned for Amber to take a seat across from a receptionist's chair as she flipped on the lights.
The Department of City Works was a replica of the Department of Social Services. Except the lights in the City Works front office were not flickering or didn't work, and shiny computers definitely not from the 1980's sat at a series of desks behind the receptionist's.
Amber sat down on the comfortable maroon-cushioned seat as the woman set her purse down and started her computer.
"I'm Jane Spencer," Jane Spencer held out her hand for Amber to shake, a smile on her face. Amber sat up, and shook Jane's hand.
Jane was a slim woman, with short, blonde hair that didn't need much taming. She was wearing a thin, red long sleeved shirt tucked into tan khaki pants.
"I'm Amber Jennings," Amber said as Jane took her seat.
Much to Amber's surprise, Jane didn't seem too perplexed about who she was. It was rather relieving.
"Wondered when I'd get to meet you," Jane squinted at her computer screen, and furiously punched the keys of her keyboard.
"I'm sorry?"
Jane turned to look at her. "Aphrodite told everyone you got a job at Social Services last week."
"Oh..."
"Aphrodite's kind of crazy," Jane shrugged. She finished what she was doing at the computer and fished a form from a drawer in the desk.
"You said you wanted an application for the City Election?" Jane asked.
"Yes," Amber said firmly. She took the application from Jane.
"Suit yourself. Fill it out like it says, and please use this pen," Jane handed Amber a blue pen with a clear sticker sealed on front that read CITY WORKS @ CITY HALL. Why didn't Social Services have pens like that?
Amber scribbled in the blank spaces, and handed the application back to Jane.
Jane scanned the application. "Seems everything is here."
"Is that it?"
"It is. Good luck in the election, Amber," Jane stood up, and shook Amber's hand.
As Amber left the office, she felt Jane's eyes follow her out.
~*~
At 6:00, after saying goodbye to Mouse, BJ, and Shoshana, Siva and Amber arrived in Sector 10 at Cinema 4 Theatre.
Sector 10 was one of the low-income sectors The Amulet had talked about. It had not been cleaned up, and was full of shabby, ran-down buildings. Old apartments dotted the empty, trashed streets, and graffiti choked every wall in sight.
"God, this is like we're back to the tribal times," Amber had whispered as they drove through the eerie, quite streets.
"Reminds me of the City before I joined the Technos," Siva stared out the windows.
It had been hard to find the Cinema 4 Theatre. There were no maps of the entire City, and most signs that adorned buildings were broken, full of graffiti, or unreadable because of harsh weather. But five minutes to 6:30, Siva and Amber had finally found the old theatre, right in the middle of the sector.
Cinema 4 Theatre was tarnished. It looked like an old woman who had seen too much-- with gray brick, and a large peeling sign over the old movie marquees that had yellowed, and flickered in the night. They parked in the parking lot full of battered cars, nice cars, and cars made just before the Virus. Only a few women were walking in, and they looked nervous and unsure.
"Amber, how do we get in?" Siva looped her arm around Amber's firmly as she eyed the women walking in.
"We talk our way through," Amber said. She walked firmly, confidently. She wanted to show these women that there was life after death.
They walked up a cement sidewalk to the old ticket stand. A black woman with a green turtleneck sat in the booth, clipping off red slips of paper.
"Vertification?" She said as Amber and Siva's turn came in the line.
"Um, we don't have vertification," Amber said.
The woman looked at her like she was an idiot. "Than you can't attend tonight's meeting."
"But I was abused," Amber felt her confidence draining slightly. Telling someone she didn't know was scary-- what if they didn't believe she had overcome, and that she had even found a new love?
The woman stared at Amber.
"I was abused by my husband," Amber coughed. "I-- I went to my healer, Tai-San, and she told me about you guys. I didn't want to give up my identity, so I just left. I'm staying with my friend Trudy, but I rebuilt myself. I've healed from all of the wounds, I have a good job at City Hall, and I'm running for City Leader."
"Wait a minute-" the woman's eyes widened.
"Yes, she is Amber Jennings," Siva said dryly.
A murmur slid through those behind them. The woman in the booth stared.
"Wow, I'm so pleased to meet you! My husband, you may remember him-- Ethan? He was in the Eco's," The woman's voice shook slightly, a grin taking over her face.
Ethan? Of course she had known Ethan! He was like a little brother when she had lead the Gaians.
"Oh my God, how is he?" Amber asked, full of relief. Her confidence swept itself back inside of her, killing her nervousness.
"He's good-- we both volunteer our time to help the WLO. I'm Heather, by the way," Heather nodded.
"That's great, it really is. Tell Ethan I said hello," Amber smiled.
"Can we get in?" Siva asked bluntly. Heather looked taken back by her.
"Of course you can get in," She snapped, annoyed. She opened a drawer inside the ticket booth and took out two red slips that she clipped with a pair of rusty scissors.
"Bye Amber," Heather called as she and Siva slipped into the lobby of the theatre.
"God, the people you knew," Siva laughed.
"I didn't know leading the MallRats and wanting a safe world would make me so well-known," Amber grinned. The two friends followed a large group of women walking into one of the theatres through the black curtains.
"This is like going back to the movies," Siva said.
But instead of a darkened area, and a bright screen, the two came upon two huge screens, a large stage built in front of it, and what looked like hundreds of women filling the seats of two theatres where the walls seperating them had been completely knocked out. There were three rows of seating-- a balcony, a middle balcony, and the floor. The floor seating was still filling up.
"Come on, let's sit in front," Amber nudged Siva and she pulled her down the isle of crowded women.
The stage was wood. It looked like it had been built with long planks with an old carpet spread out on top. In the center of the stage was a wooden podium, and women swarming around, trying to get control of things.
Siva and Amber took two seats directly in front. A minute later, the meeting started.
Amber's mouth dropped open when she saw Jane Spencer walk up to the podium, shuffling papers on top, and beginning the meeting.
"Welcome to the Women's Liberation Operation," Jane said, "many of you know about the WLO from your doctors and healers; from your sisters, brothers, even children; some from your jobs, and others from friends. Some stumbled across on their own. Whatever way you were lead, we are here now. And you are here with us. We are all in this room tonight for one reason: because of abuse.
Before the Virus, abuse and women went together like roses and love. We had the police to sort things out when our relationships got too messy, but when all of the adults died we were left to suffer. And suffer many of us did.
My boyfriend at the time, Henry? He was a Loco. And every night he would come into the little apartment we shared together, full of roaches and insects, and he would beat me. Beat me until my vision was damaged, beat me until I had nothing left but tears. Beat me until one day I went to one of the makeshift markets and I traded my mother's wedding ring for a pistol.
I went home. I waited, crying on the sofa, and out of my mind-- I waited for Henry. And when he opened the door, I shot the b[I][/I]astard."
A muffled surprise vibrated throughout the audience.
"Harsh. I know," Jane said quietly, her eyes moving to each section of women. Amber felt like Jane was speaking directly to her.
"But Henry drove me over the edge, and I did what my instincts told me. I was pregnant when I killed him. I ran from the apartment, and went to the hotel where Loco headquarters was. I told Henry's friend I shot him. He hit me too, so I ran. I ran until I collapsed in an alley.
That is where this woman found me," Jane pointed to a plump woman sitting on a chair on the stage.
"Frieda Garcia saved my life, nursing me back to health. And together, when we found many more women to be abused, we decided we had to do something. I didn't want another woman to do what I did. To reach the point of insanity. And so the Women's Liberation Operation was formed."
Amber was stunned in her seat. Frieda and Jane ran the WLO?!
"And now you want answers. You want to know how to leave, what to do: you're scared for yourself, maybe for your children. But you don't have to be any more. We can give you a new life-- a new you."
"No!" Amber suddenly stood up, a very small woman in the huge conjoined theatres.
Jane peered over the podium down at her, surprised.
Amber gulped.
What the WLO was saying was wrong. The women didn't have to give up-- they had to support eachother, and fight back! They had to divorce, rebuild, get new jobs, move out, find new love!
"I'm saying no, because you do not have to become a new woman to get a new life," Amber called out, her voice trembling slightly.
"Do you have something to say, Amber?" Jane stared at her with cold eyes.
Amber stared back with full force. "Yeah, Jane-- I do."
Firmly, she strode down the isle and walked crude steps up to the stage where she stood in front of the podium.
Every single eye was on her. She looked behind to see Frieda giving her a "What the hell do you think you're doing?" look.
"You don't have to be someone you're not to get away," Amber spoke into the microphone.
For the next two hours she recited her story. She told the theatre, her voice echoing off the walls, what had happend.
She told them about Bray. She didn't doubt many remembered him. She told them about their powerful love for eachother, her death, Ebony's betrayal, Dal's death, the Chosen war, BJ's birth, the Technos, Jay, Bray once more, their wedding, the first beating, her decent into isolation.
And than she told them of her decision to leave. Of Trudy's taking her in. Of Bray finding her; of his jail sentence. She told them about her job. And she told them about running for City Leader.
When it was over, a distilled silence followed.
"Thank you," Amber said into the microphone.
The applause was so loud that Amber almost had to cover her ears. Every single woman, at least four hundred people, were clapping for her. In every single seat she had touched them all.
Moved profoundly, Amber's face was streaked with tears as Siva moved up the stage, and hugged her.
"Look," Amber said, pointing to Siva. "Look at my friends! The WLO needs to be a support group-- it needs to be the backbone of your rebuilding process. Don't give away your life for the one who is hurting you-- don't give them that. Instead, give yourself a future."
With Siva's help, Amber walked off the stage, and they left.
~*~
That night, as Amber sat in bed, the bedside lamp switched on, BJ sleeping quietly, she flipped through the classifieds of The Amulet.
She found an apartment.
~*~
"That's it, Lex," Amber set the last box of her clothes on the cluttered counter of her new apartment.
Lex shut the door of Amber's new apartment with his foot, his arms full.
"What's that?" Amber went to him, and slid her hands around his waist.
"I thought we could have a picnic," Lex leaned in for a kiss.
"At midnight in my living room?" Amber smiled, her eyes taking in Lex's face so close to her.
"Your damn right," Lex whispered. He dropped the things in his arms, and moved in to kiss her.
Both of them had been stressed out lately. The Police Department was straining itself over riots in the poor sectors of the City because of Aphrodite. Amber, because of the intensity that had developed at work because of the election. She was frusterated because no one talked to her-- Frieda had said nothing, and she never saw Jane. The supposed abuse Aphrodite would bestow on her hadn't occured yet.
It felt good to be in Lex's strong arms. She felt loved, sexy, beautiful, and full of a vibrant energy. Amber's hands slipped to Lex's waist where she pulled Lex closer to her body.
"Getting rough?" Lex broke their kissing.
"You bet I am," Amber resumed it.
In a daring act, her hands slid under Lex's black fitting t-shirt. She pulled the fabric slowly off as her hands arched across his smooth skin. In response, Lex reached under her shirt and started to undo her bra.
The last time Amber had sex with Bray came rushing back to her.
She was at home, having visited Tai-San about her injuries earlier that day. She had waited on the sofa, with her old customary glass of wine, waiting for him, dinner on the table. She hated to think of those times. They were full of so much pain. And when he had come home, he had beat her. Beat her until she was delirious and half-unconcious.
Amber remembered how his strong hands had pulled up her dress. In her unconcious state, the only thing she knew was that he was touching her, and she hated him for it. She had slapped him off, but he punched her face. He punched her until she was powerless of her limbs, and could only succumb to his power over her.
The rest were brief images and sounds: Bray unbuckling his pants. His erect p[I][/I]enis dissapear under her dress. His face as he looked into her eyes the entire time. And the sounds of his moaning, and her soft crying.
Lex stirred under his pants. His hands rubbing her-- it was suddenly too much. It was Bray again! Amber shot off of Lex and backed away in horror.
"What's wrong?" Lex panted, naked above the waist.
"I can't do this!" Amber trembled. She felt an onslaught of fear conquer her mind.
Lex stood up and reached for her. Amber swiped his hand away, her instincts to defend herself taking over.
"Amber, what the hell is wrong?!" Lex shouted, getting angry. Amber kept swiping at the air in front of her, shaking uncontrollably, tears melting off her face.
"Stay away from me! You stay away from me!" Amber held out her finger rigidly, shaking, her eyes contorted as she watched Lex's every move. If he touched her, she would kill him! Kill him!
"I want to help you, Amber. [I]What is wrong[/I]?" Lex asked urgently, his fierceness dieing down. He took Amber's arm in a soft gesture.
Her head exploded, all regions of her logic gone. Amber started to scream. A scream so loud that neighbors beneath her woke up in traumatic states, and people on the sidewalks could hear her. It was sharp, piercing, full of fear.
"AMBER!" Lex shouted angrily.
"Get out!" Amber ran to the kitchen, and shielded herself behind the counter, hiding.
Lex followed her, determined not to leave her in such a state.
"Babe, I want to help you. I would never hurt you," Lex whispered. He stood at the opening of the kitchen. He felt like his heart was torn to pieces as Amber rejected him.
Amber crawled into a ball, grabbing her knees, snot dripping from her nose. She started to scream again.
"GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET THE F[I][/I]UCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Lex left. At a phonebooth down the street, he called Trudy.
Ten minutes later she was holding Amber in her arms as she fell asleep.
~*~
Lex hadn't called in over a week.
It was scaring her. Amber didn't want Lex to think it was him that had caused her episode.
It was the abuse she had endured. It was the thought of a man using her.
As she had turned her back to her past, it came stabbing back. Violently. So violently that next morning she was so out of her element she couldn't speak until she got to work. And even then she was quiet, and shaken. Frieda had ignored her for the most part, and despite families who came in for City Stamps, she sat at her two positions at the Department of Social Services and thought about the night before over and over.
Sex had brought back Bray. The only man she had ever been intimate with physically before the first time she and Lex made love. It was like her body was still Bray's territory-- his land to roam, to rule. Why couldn't she just break away and be done? Why hadn't she freaked out the first time Lex touched her?
But the past was a tricky thing. It could not be erased just because of a few good turns of luck, and it would not be forgotten. Amber thought about that as she trudged through the next week, not taking phone calls, and working steadily on her campaign for City Leader.
In retaliation, the new Amber wanted to fight back against the weak one. The new woman was sick of the past, so sick and tired of over-analyzing, of wonder, of what-ifs. What-ifs did nothing. Only action did things. Action benefited the poor, and made amendments to insane laws.
The night after moving into her apartment, Amber called Java. Java did photography on the side as a hobby, and had agreed to do shots for Amber for her election posters. And the day after the photoshoot, she spent her lunchhour going over campaign slogans with Salene. They finally settled on one Salene said would "put all of your plans into a basket and sell them to the public." And the day after that on her lunchhour, Amber took the photos she picked from her shoot and the written slogan to Trudy's where she designed a poster on her computer. She saved it to a disk, and printed it off at a printing shop where she ordered 500 posters and 2,000 flyers.
The end result was her campaign slogan on the top of her favorite picture Java had taken:
IF YOU WANT TRUST
IF YOU WANT A FUTURE
IF YOU WANT STABILITY
VOTE AMBER JENNINGS FOR CITY LEADER
THINK OF TOMORROW
In the photo, Amber was sitting down, her legs crossed, and her hand under her chin, staring into the camera seriously. Behind her was a ruffled white sheet from her linen closet.
When she got home from work, Amber would unpack her apartment. She would watch television with BJ. She would skim markets for her own furniture. She would go shopping for food. Trudy would visit, and sit with her without saying a word, and leave without saying a word.
But during all that time, Lex did not appear.