The Hurting Time Has Come
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 11
"I didn't say anything before because I didn't you to worry unnecessarily," Elizabeth says. I want to smack her. How dare she keep something like this from me. How dare she...but I can't be mad at her. Not really. She was only trying to protect me. She thought the swelling around his spine would go down before he woke up.
Carter is paralyzed. The words careen through my mind, bouncing off the walls of my consciousness. How? How could this happen? How could any of this happen? How could two doctors get attacked in the men's room in the ER, and no one saw a thing?
None of it makes sense. Nothing really seems to make sense at all anymore. I feel dizzy just thinking about it.
"Abby, are you all right?" Elizabeth sounds so far away. I blink, but I can't focus…and all of a sudden I'm looking up at her from the floor. She's kneeling beside me, checking my pulse. "How much sleep have you had?"
I sit up and lean my head against the wall. "Since this happened? Not much."
"Abby…"
"When I sleep, I dream. I dream about us, together, and we're so happy until I realize he's bleeding and I can't help him."
"I can give you something…"
I shake my head. "Thank you, but no."
She clasps my hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze. "You can't go on like this, Abby. He needs you to be strong for him. You can't be there for him at all if you're passed out on the floor."
"I'm fine."
"Is there any chance you're pregnant?"
I stare at her, and my mind replays the dream I had that I was pregnant. We were in his jeep. We had the names already picked out. John Robert, or Jack, and Savannah Millicent. I could hear the birds singing, the day was beautiful, perfect. Everything was perfect in the dream until I noticed the blood…
"We're careful."
"Sometimes it happens anyway. Will you let me get a blood test? Just to be sure?"
"Why do you even suspect it?"
"I don't know. It's just a feeling. I just want to be sure."
I sigh. "I just want to go back to him."
"After I draw some blood. It will only take a minute."
* * * * * * * *
Gillian is talking to Carter when I go in. Something about when they were kids. It's still so weird to me that Carter has this sister he never once mentioned to me. I stand at the foot of the bed until he looks at me and raises his arm up to call me to him.
I take his hand in mine and lift it up so I can kiss his knuckles. The corners of his mouth twitch. "I want you to kiss me," he says. His eyes shift to Gillian, then back to me, and his cheeks are slightly pink.
I don't look at Gillian. I just lean in to kiss him on the lips. He tilts his head back and I bring my hands up to his face. I feel his hand at the back of my head, and it makes me feel warm and tingly inside.
I hear Gillian move away from the bed. I don't look. I don't want to give up the moment.
His hand moves down my arm, creating a trail of heat that ends in a chill when his fingers touch the bandage where Elizabeth took my blood for the pregnancy test. I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not. I'd know if I was. I'd feel it somehow.
"I'm okay," I sit back and lick my lips to savor the taste of him there. He looks at me, his eyes focused on my face. He knows I'm lying. He always knows when I'm lying. I take a deep breath and take his hand in mine. "Elizabeth thinks I might be pregnant."
"Are you?"
I shrug. "No. I mean I don't think so. We'll know for sure soon."
His eyes close, and the lines seem deeper in his face. Not for the first time, I wonder what he's thinking, but I don't ask.
"John, there's something else I have to tell you." His eyes open. He looks like he might cry. "There is swelling around your spinal chord."
"I'm paralyzed."
I nod. "Elizabeth thinks it's temporary."
He looks up at the ceiling. "And if it's not?"
"I don't care. I love you. No matter what."
"You ay that now…"
"I mean it, John. For always."
A single tears slips down both his cheeks. I reach up to brush them away. He flinches and turns his head from me. "I want you to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Get out of here!" He hisses through his teeth.
I know he's scared and he doesn't know what to think, and he's trying to push me away to protect me as much as himself but I won't let him do it. I won't leave him. I won't…no matter how hard he tries to make me go. "I'm staying right here."
* * * * * * * * *
At the end of the last chapter I thought I was going to skip ahead a bit…not so. Anyway, I want thoughts and opinions on the pregnancy thing. That just sort of hit me out of nowhere, I didn't know Elizabeth was going to suggest it until I looked up and it was there on the screen…So, dear reader, use the review option to cast your vote on the issue…Reader input…please (here I am begging again…) Thanks for reading!
An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 11
"I didn't say anything before because I didn't you to worry unnecessarily," Elizabeth says. I want to smack her. How dare she keep something like this from me. How dare she...but I can't be mad at her. Not really. She was only trying to protect me. She thought the swelling around his spine would go down before he woke up.
Carter is paralyzed. The words careen through my mind, bouncing off the walls of my consciousness. How? How could this happen? How could any of this happen? How could two doctors get attacked in the men's room in the ER, and no one saw a thing?
None of it makes sense. Nothing really seems to make sense at all anymore. I feel dizzy just thinking about it.
"Abby, are you all right?" Elizabeth sounds so far away. I blink, but I can't focus…and all of a sudden I'm looking up at her from the floor. She's kneeling beside me, checking my pulse. "How much sleep have you had?"
I sit up and lean my head against the wall. "Since this happened? Not much."
"Abby…"
"When I sleep, I dream. I dream about us, together, and we're so happy until I realize he's bleeding and I can't help him."
"I can give you something…"
I shake my head. "Thank you, but no."
She clasps my hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze. "You can't go on like this, Abby. He needs you to be strong for him. You can't be there for him at all if you're passed out on the floor."
"I'm fine."
"Is there any chance you're pregnant?"
I stare at her, and my mind replays the dream I had that I was pregnant. We were in his jeep. We had the names already picked out. John Robert, or Jack, and Savannah Millicent. I could hear the birds singing, the day was beautiful, perfect. Everything was perfect in the dream until I noticed the blood…
"We're careful."
"Sometimes it happens anyway. Will you let me get a blood test? Just to be sure?"
"Why do you even suspect it?"
"I don't know. It's just a feeling. I just want to be sure."
I sigh. "I just want to go back to him."
"After I draw some blood. It will only take a minute."
* * * * * * * *
Gillian is talking to Carter when I go in. Something about when they were kids. It's still so weird to me that Carter has this sister he never once mentioned to me. I stand at the foot of the bed until he looks at me and raises his arm up to call me to him.
I take his hand in mine and lift it up so I can kiss his knuckles. The corners of his mouth twitch. "I want you to kiss me," he says. His eyes shift to Gillian, then back to me, and his cheeks are slightly pink.
I don't look at Gillian. I just lean in to kiss him on the lips. He tilts his head back and I bring my hands up to his face. I feel his hand at the back of my head, and it makes me feel warm and tingly inside.
I hear Gillian move away from the bed. I don't look. I don't want to give up the moment.
His hand moves down my arm, creating a trail of heat that ends in a chill when his fingers touch the bandage where Elizabeth took my blood for the pregnancy test. I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not. I'd know if I was. I'd feel it somehow.
"I'm okay," I sit back and lick my lips to savor the taste of him there. He looks at me, his eyes focused on my face. He knows I'm lying. He always knows when I'm lying. I take a deep breath and take his hand in mine. "Elizabeth thinks I might be pregnant."
"Are you?"
I shrug. "No. I mean I don't think so. We'll know for sure soon."
His eyes close, and the lines seem deeper in his face. Not for the first time, I wonder what he's thinking, but I don't ask.
"John, there's something else I have to tell you." His eyes open. He looks like he might cry. "There is swelling around your spinal chord."
"I'm paralyzed."
I nod. "Elizabeth thinks it's temporary."
He looks up at the ceiling. "And if it's not?"
"I don't care. I love you. No matter what."
"You ay that now…"
"I mean it, John. For always."
A single tears slips down both his cheeks. I reach up to brush them away. He flinches and turns his head from me. "I want you to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Get out of here!" He hisses through his teeth.
I know he's scared and he doesn't know what to think, and he's trying to push me away to protect me as much as himself but I won't let him do it. I won't leave him. I won't…no matter how hard he tries to make me go. "I'm staying right here."
* * * * * * * * *
At the end of the last chapter I thought I was going to skip ahead a bit…not so. Anyway, I want thoughts and opinions on the pregnancy thing. That just sort of hit me out of nowhere, I didn't know Elizabeth was going to suggest it until I looked up and it was there on the screen…So, dear reader, use the review option to cast your vote on the issue…Reader input…please (here I am begging again…) Thanks for reading!