WARNING: Viva La Game features stunts that are perfumed by fictional
characters or under the supervision of fictional characters. Accordingly,
the author must insist that one attempt to recreate or reenact any of these
stunts or activities. No animals were harmed during the making if this fic,
unless you count anime characters and authors animals.
I don't own Viva La Bam! Or any anime on this fic. The only characters I own are Gamer and C.J.! DrummerLadyFromHell and Skye Agony are 2 of my friends. (well, Drummer's my little sister.)
[...] = text that appears on screen. {...} = actions.
{scene fades in showing a brown haired teenager running setting somethin on the floor in a kitchen. He then runs and hides behind a counter..}
Gamer: Shhhhh... My name is Gamerctm. I'm the author/character of this fanfic. I like to open up all my fic with a shocking surprise... and what's more shocking than a goody two shoes anime chick saying the F-word. Yeah... the F-word. You know... {bleep}! So before the show officially starts, I'm gonna make an anime girl say {bleep}!
{within moments, a blue haired girl walks into the kitchen. It's Yukina, (YuYu Hakusho.) walking towards the counter. She hears a hiss and looks down on the floor.}
Yukina: {gasp} H-Hiei... Kazuma... {she sees on the floor a large alligator, hissing very softly.} {scared} What's going on here? Hello? {the gator snaps his jaw. This causes her to scream.} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {she turns around and runs out of the kitchen.} HELP!!!
Gamer: {comes up from behind the counter and laughs menacingly. He walks over and picks up the gator and walks out the kitchen. He walks over to a nearby closet.} Yukina?
Yukina: NO! NO! GET AWAY!
Gamer: It's just me.
Yukina: {opens the door and sees the gator.} AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET IT AWAY!!! {slams the door.}
Gamer: C'mon! It's just a gator!
Yukina: Is it real?! {opens the door.} IS IT REAL!? IS IT REAL?!
Gamer: Yes.
Yukina: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {slams the door.} That is the scariest {bleep} thing I've ever seen!
Gamer: SUCCESS!!! {the crew starts applauding and cheering.} YEAH!!! HI! I'm Gamerctm! Welcome to VIVA LA GAME!!!
{rock intro starts playing.}
Announcer: Heeeeeeeeeeeee's Gamerctm! He loves Hockey! He also likes to shake things up a bit! He's gonna drive anime characters so insane that they LOSE THEIR MINDS!!! On tonight's show...
{scene shows an old car driving through the front door of a house.}
Shizuru: {comes out screaming.} WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?
Gamer: {comes out of the car.} We're having a scavenger hunt! 4 teams! 1 night! Winner gets that old piano!
{scenes show Gamer getting ice poured down his pants, Kuwabara getting kicked in the groin, Hiei throwing a brick at another car, and Joey getting spit on by a llama. It then shows the house with a crane truck next to it.}
Shizuru: {talking on a cell phone.} What's the crane for?
Gamer: {on the other line.} You'll find out...
{final scene shows Shizuru screaming as the crane moves.}
Announcer: What is Gamer gonna do next?
{scene show Gamer in the driver's seat of his Hummer.}
Gamer: What ever the {bleep} I want!
Viva La Game!
Episode 1: Gamer the Scavenger
{scene faded into the backyard of the Kuwabara house. Gamer, C.J., Yusuke, and Kuwabara standing around.}
Gamer: {has a football in his hands.} PICK EM' UP!!! MESS EM' UP!!!
[Gamerctm... @$$**** with imagination.]
{Gamer throws the ball at Yusake, who catches it.}
[Yusuke Urameshi... Sprit Detective and smart ass.]
Yusuke: YEEEEEEEEAH!!! {runs towards the other side of the yard. But gets stopped when C.J. tackles into to him and knocks him down.}
[C.J.... fanfic OC and freeloader.]
C.J.: That's mine, jerkass! {takes the football and runs towards Gamer. Gamer tries to tackle him, but C.J. swiftly dodges him and keeps running.} Victory is mine! {Kuwabara grab s, lifts him into the air and slams him to the ground.} Owwww...
[Kuwabara... Baka...Baka... and cat loving baka...]
Kuwabara: {C.J. tosses him the football and he starts running.} This is my game! {he sees Yusake and Gamer chasing after him. He runs into the backdoor and into the house.} Come and get me, wimps!!!
{They all chase after him, trying to tackle him. They run past Shizuru, who starts screaming at them.}
Shizuru: OUTSIDE! TAKE IT OUTSIDE!!!
{They continue to run into the living room. Kuwabara stops for a second and takes a breath in front of an old piano.}
Gamer: YAH!!! {Gamer jumps towards him. Kuwabara gets out of the way and Gamer crashes into the piano.} Ow! Dude!
Shizuru: You idiots better get outta here!
[Shizuru... Killer of Fun]
Gamer: {holding his stomach.} That sucked...
Yusake: Nice crash!
Kuwabara: That's okay. We gotta get rid of the piano anyway.
{the scene freezes for a second. A light bulb appears over Gamer's head and it flickers on. The bulb disappears and the scene returns to normal.}
Gamer: Shizuru. I can get rid of the piano for ya. I'll do it for free!
Shizuru.: Really? You won't... blow it up or anything.
Gamer: I won't blow it up. I'll take it off your hands.
Shizuru: Well... alright.
Gamer: Good...
{scene cuts to Gamer standing outside talking into a cell phone.}
Gamer: Yo. Drummer... You still got that ghetto ride of yours? You do... get over here at around 5:30. Bring 4 friends. We're gonna have fun tonight! {he turns off the phone and dials another person.} Yo Skye! Go to the dump, find the best car you can find, bring it and 4 friends here! I got a idea for tonight...
[ {demonic laugh.} Time for some fun!]
{scene changes to Gamer and C.J. walking towards a red Hummer H2 with "DA GR8 1" on the plate.}
[ The Insanity Machine! ]
{Gamer climbs into the driver's seat and C.J., the passenger.}
C.J.: We gonna get some chicks tonight?
Gamer: Not tonight my friend... we gotta trip to the dump!
{the car drives off.}
{scene cuts to the living room, where Shizuru watching TV and smoking a cigarette. The phone rings and she gets up to answer it.}
Shizuru: {picks up the phone.} Hello?
Gamer: {on the other line.} Shizuru! Where are you right now?
Shizuru: {puzzled} In the living room?
Gamer: Is any one at the front door?
Shizuru: {checks.} No.
Gamer: Good!
{cut to the front door from inside the house. It's quiet for a while. Suddenly, the door flies apart when a junked up Station Wagon rams into the house.}
Shizuru: {shocked.} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {sees Gamer climb out of the car.} WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?
Gamer: We're having a scavenger hunt!
Shizuru: What about the door?!
Gamer: {looks around on the floor and sees the pieces of the door.} I'll fix it later.
Shizuru: {sighs.} So is it just you having this scavenger hunt?
Gamer: No! It's gonna me, C.J., Skye, and Drummer. Plus... {thinks for a minute.} 16 other people!
Shizuru: Oh God...
{cut to the front yard, where about 20 different people are standing around. There are also 4 junky cars parked in the front.}
Drummer: {cuts to her.} This better be good...
[DrummerLadyFromHell... Gamer's little sister, beginner 'fic writer, and just as INSANE!!!]
Skye: {cuts to her.} Woulda be here sooner, but Knuckles got lost!
[Skye Agony... Fellow Author and Chaotix Fan number 2368.]
{Gamer stands on top of the roof.}
Gamer: {shouting over the banter.} ALRIGHT!!! SHUT UP!!! {there is silence.} The reason I called you all here tonight is for something really important! Tonight will be the first annual Viva La Game city wide scavenger hunt! {everyone starts to cheer.} We will break up into 4 teams of 5!
[Team Renegade: Captain Gamer, Kuwabara (YuYu Hakusho), Inuyasha (Inuyasha), Ryoko (Tenchi Muyo!), and Su Kaolla (Love Hina).]
[Team Forbidden Donuts: Captain Drummer, Yusuke Urameshi (YuYu Hakusho), Goku (DBZ), Koga (Inuyasha), and Bender (Futurama).]
[Team Policia: Captain C.J., Botan (YuYu Hakusho), Kirby (Kirby), Mihoshi (Tenchi) and Miroku (Inuyasha).]
[Team Chaos: Captain Skye, Hiei (YuYu Hakusho), Knuckles (Sonic X), 17 (DBZ), and Joey Wheeler (Yu-Gi-Oh!)]
Gamer: The rules are simple! {hold up a list.} You got from 6:00 PM to midnight to do as many insane stunts on this list as you can.
[Shizuru and Yukina: Official scorekeepers]
Gamer: You will then call Shizuru and tell her and Yukina the stunt you completed and they will see how many points you earn for it. Whoever has the most points by midnight, wins the piano and can do whatever the hell they want with it!
C.J.: {cut to him. He's standing in front of his old messed up police car.} We call our team "Policia" because {speaks in Spanish.} And that in English means, we're too fast, too furious!
Skye: {cut to her. She's standing in front of an old SUV.} We call ourselves team "Chaos" cause that's what you get! Chaos!
Drummer: {cut to her. She's in front of her window-smashed wood paneled Station Wagon imprinted with "RebHellions"} We are team "Forbidden Donuts!" Cause we are good! We are delicious! But you can't touch us!
Gamer: {cut to him. He's in front of his Station Wagon.} We call ourselves team "Renegade". Why? Cause we {bleep} can!
{all the teams get into their respected cars and start revving up. Gamer, however, climbs out of his car with a hockey stick in his hand. He walks over to C.J.'s car and with a swing of the stick, smashes the side window to pieces.}
C.J.: {climbs out.} {angry.} THE {bleep} IS UP WITH THAT!?!?!?
Gamer: Sorry. {walks back to his car and laughs menacingly.} We haven't even started and already we got 5 points!
[Damage another team's car: 5 points.]
Gamer: {inside his car.} READY!!! SET!!! .......GO!!!
{all the cars screech away from the house and into the city streets.}
[Time 'til midnight... 5 hours, 59 minutes.].
}}commercial break{{
{scenes fades in, showing Team Renegade cruising down the street.}
[Score: Renegade: 5
Chaos:0
Policia: 0
Donuts: 0]
Su: Gamer! We should do this one first! {hands him the list.}
Gamer: Let's go!!!
{scene show Kuwabara standing in front of a little kid.}
Ryoko: {to the kid.} Pretend he's a bad man!
{the little kid kicks Kuwabara hard in the groin.}
Kuwabara: AH!!! {in pain.} Ow.... {sinks to his knees in pain.}
{Gamer, Su, Inuyasha, and Ryoko laugh.}
[Get kicked in the groin: 10 points.]
{cut to team Policia.}
C.J.: We're gonna do the one at the bottom! I wrote that one!
Miroku: {excited.} YEAH!!!
{scene shows C.J. and Miroku talking to a young woman.}
C.J.: We're having a scavenger hunt and I was wondering... for $50, would maybe come with us and would you try out some lingerie?
Woman: {laughs.} Are you serious?
C.J.: For $50! That's all you gotta do! We give you it all in cash!
Woman: Well... okay.
Miroku: Really?
Woman: Sure!
{C.J. and Miroku cheer.}
C.J.: What's your name anyway?
Woman: Kate.
C.J.: Well Kate. Come with us.
{the 3 of then walk into a clothing store. Before he goes in, C.J. gives a thumbs up to the camera.}
{scene cut to the 2 guys near the women's changing room.}
Miroku: {shouting inside.} Need some help? I'll be glad to!
{Kate laughs from inside.}
Kate: I got it!
{she walks out wearing sexy black lingerie}
C.J.: {whistles.} Screw the points! I'll take her instead!
Miroku: For an extra 50, would you...
Kate: No thanks.
C.J.: Kay! Here's your 50. {hands her the money and hugs her.} Thank you so much! You can keep that if you want!
[Get a random girl off the street to try on lingerie: 20 points.]
{scene show Team Chaos at the zoo.}
Skye: Kay, boys! We need to find the llama cages!
{they walk around until they find a llama. Joey stands in front of its mouth.}
Knux: How do ya make a llama spit anyway?
17: I don't know...
Skye: Let's just wait...
{suddenly the llama spits in Joey's face.}
Joey: Eww... Gross!!! Damn!
Skye: {laughing.} That wasn't long!
Hiei: How many points is that?
[Get spit on by a llama: 10 points.]
{cut to team Forbidden Donuts.}
Drummer: We need to get some big points! What's the highest thing on the list?
Yusuke: {reads the list.} This one's looks easy.
{scene shows Goku and Yusuke and different shopping carts. Koga is behind Goku's, Bender is behind Yusuke's.}
Drummer: Ready...GO!
{they start to push the shopping carts into each other at full. They collide, and causes everyone to hit the ground in a huge crash.}
Yusuke: {in pain.} Ow.
Bender: Didn't even feel a thing!
Goku: Me neither.
Drummer: A Super Saiyan and robot can handle this stuff. The other two can't!
[Ride two shopping carts into each other: 15 points.]
[Score: Policia: 20
Renegade: 15
Donut: 15
Chaos: 10]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts standing on top of a grass hill. Drummer is on a skateboard without any wheels.}
Drummer: How do we do this one?
Yusuke: {reading the list.} All ya gotta do is slide down the hill and into that creek.
{cut to the creek.}
[The Sick Ass Creek.]
{cut back to Drummer. She slides down the grass on the board and splashes into the muddy water. The others cheer and yell. She emerges out covered in mud and water.}
Drummer: I feel like Swamp Thing! {everyone laughs.} Get me a towel!
Goku: You look like Swamp Thing!
Koga: If she looks like it, why'd she have to go in the water?! {everyone laughs louder}
{Drummer pulls Koga into the water. Everyone laughs even louder and harder.}
[Skate into the sick ass creek: 10 points.]
{cut to Team Renegade. They are at a gas station store.}
Gamer: We need 6 eggs!!!
[swallow 6 raw eggs: 20 points.]
{Gamer cracks 6 eggs in a cup and hands it to Su.}
Gamer: Drink em' down, Su!
Su: {she drinks all 6 eggs down without stopping. She wipes her mouth when she finishes and laughs in victory.}
Gamer: That's another 20 for us!!! Call Shizuru!
Kuwabara: {dials Shizuru on a cell phone.} We got 20 more points!
{cut to Team Chaos. They are driving slowly up to Team Renegade's car.}
Skye: Do it Hiei!
Hiei: {walks out of the car with a brick in hand. He throws it at Renegade's car and smashes the back window.} GO! GO!!! {he climbs back into the car and it drives away quickly.}
{Gamer and Ryoko run out screaming profanity at Chaos. Chaos laughs evilly at them.}
[Damage another team's car: 5 points.]
{cut to Team Policia. They are at a different store.}
C.J.: This is why we have Kirby on our team!
Kirby: {C.J. lays out 6 eggs in front of him. He sucks up all them at once and eats them.} P'yo!
C.J.: And that's another 20 for the greatest team!
{Swallow 6 raw eggs: 20 points.]
{cut to Team Chaos in another store.}
Knux: {holding a cup full of raw eggs.} Do I have to do this.
Skye: Yes! Just do it!
Knux: {hesitantly drinks them down slowly. He does swallow them.} Uh...
17: JUST SWALLOW THEM!!!
Knux: {spits them out on the floor.} Yuk! {everyone groans and complains. Hiei comes behind him and slaps him in the back of the head.}
Joey: You little wimp!
Skye: Screw this! Just get the magazine by there. {points to a dirty magazine.}
{cut to Skye standing in front of an old man, holding up the magazine to him.}
Old Man: OH {bleep}!!!
[Get an old man to say the S-word: 15]
Score: Policia: 40
Renegade: 35
Chaos: 30
Donut: 25
{cut to the Kuwabara House. Shizuru is totaling up the points when she hears a truck driving outside.}
Yukina: {keeping points.} What's that sound?
Shizuru: Is that outside? {she walks to the front door and sees a crane truck pull up to the house.} {shouts to the driver.} WHAT'S WITH THE TRUCK?
Driver: {shouting back.} A guy named "Gamer" rented this truck for some construction work.
Shizuru: Oh...no... {quickly pulls out a cell phone and franticly dials a number.}
Gamer: {on the other line.} Gamer.
Shizuru: What's the crane for?
Gamer: Did it get there already?
Shizuru: {sternly.} What...is...the...crane...for?
Gamer: I can't tell ya.
Shizuru: {shouting.} Whatta ya mean you can't tell me!?!?
Gamer: It'll ruin the surprise...
Shizuru: What surprise?!
Gamer: When I win... you'll find out... {hangs up.}
Shizuru: GAMER! GAMER! {throws the phone on the ground.} Damn!
{cut to Team Renegade. Gamer is outside the car wearing really baggy pants. Ryoko and Su are holding bags of ice.}
Gamer: C'mon! Let's get this over with!
Ryoko: How many bag...
Gamer: Just two! C'MON!!!
Su: Are yo sure?
Gamer: Yeah! C'mon! 20 points! HURRY UP!!!
{Su and Ryoko open the bags and start to pour ice in his pants.}
Gamer: Oh... that ain't so... {shouts.} OH GOD!!! {everyone laughs at him.} shhhhh... DAMMIT!!! It's is so... {bleep} cold, it feels like it's burning!!! AH! This is the coldest my {bleep} have ever been! {everyone laughs even louder.} AH!!! GOD! Oh... and that's it... Gimme coffee! {Su hands him a cup of hot coffee. He pours it all down his pants.} {relieved.} Ahhhh... That's feels so good now... yeah...
[Pour 2 bags of ice down your pants.: 15 points.]
{cut to Team Chaos. They are in a parking complex. 17 has a store bought turkey in his hand.}
17: {grunts.} YAH!!! {he shot puts the turkey right through the back window of his car and smashes the glass.}
[Shot put a turkey (preferably one for roasting) through your car window: 10 points]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts. Bender throws a turkey with ease through the side window of their car.}
Drummer: And that's 10 points.
{cut to Team Renegade. Inuyasha throws a turkey at the back window of their car, but it bounces off.}
Gamer: Dude... you throw like a little girl.
{Inuyasha tries again and bounces off again.}
Ryoko: Lemme he see... {she throws turkey and smashes the window.} Easy...
{cut to Team Policia}
C.J.: {shouting.} WHERE'S THE DAMN TURKEY!!!
Botan: I don't know... it was here a minute ago.
Mihoshi: Maybe it walked away?
C.J.: IT WAS {bleep} DEAD!!!
Miroku: Found it...
{Kirby walks around from behind the car with the turkey wrapper on his face and spits out a turkey bone.}
Kirby: {excited.} P'yo! P'yo!
C.J.: {turns around and shouts to the skies.} {bleep}!!!
Mihoshi: {giggles.} Looks like we need a new turkey...
C.J.: I am not shelling out another 30 bucks for a turkey! Call Shizuru and tell her we did it!
Botan: But we didn't...
C.J.: She don't know that...
[{choir of boos.} The Cheater cometh!]
Botan: {uneasy.} {on the phone.} We got 10 more points... {hangs up the phone.} She will find out.
C.J.: Not if no one tells her... okay?
Mihoshi: {shakes her head.}
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts. They are entering a corner store. Drummer, Goku, Bender, Yusuke, and Koga start picking up products and throwing them at each other. An old lady that works there rushes to the scene}
Old Lady: {shouting} WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?
Drummer: We're having a contest. Whoever comes out unbruised wins!
Old Lady: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE! GET THE {bleep} OUTTA HERE!
{everyone stops and starts walking out the door.}
Drummer: Okay, dudes, let's go. I hate the smell of old lady anyway.
{Goku goes up to the old lady.}
Goku: Hey, who won? Do ya know?
Old Lady: {Flips the camera and Goku the bird.} Hell no! Get these {bleep} cameras out of my store, {bleep} idiots!!!
{Goku walks out and joins the rest of the team}
Drummer: Okay, we got kicked out the store, that's 10. Mark it off.
Goku: The lady flipped off the camera, too. AND ME.
Drummer: She did? Oh {bleep}! Well, dudes, we got double points. She flipped off the camera and kicked us out of the store!
Goku: How much they together?
Drummer: That's... 25 points right there. Someone call Shizuru.
{Koga dials a number} Hey Shizuru, we did two things at once. Old bat threw us out of her store and gave Goku and the camera the finger. It's 25 points. {hangs up}
Bender: Good job, buddy. Whaddja do?
Goku: I asked her a stupid question! The lady's a foul mouth granny, too!
Bender: I always knew your stupidity would be good for somethin'!
[Get an old lady to flip off the camera: 15 points] [Get kicked out of a store: 10 points]
[Score: Donuts: 60
Renegade: 60
Policia: 50
Chaos: 40]
{Team Forbidden Donuts climb into their can and drive away, laughing and cheering. They stop when they hear police sirens.}
Bender: Oh, we're boned!
[They fought the law and got their asses kicked.]
Cop: {walks up to the car.} License and Registration.
Drummer: Um... I left the registration at home...
[Stupid thing to say right now ... number 3]
Cop: You are aware that it is a fine to drive without ant registration?
Drummer: Um... I didn't steal this car... (She didn't steal her own car.)
[Stupid thing to say right now ... number 2]
Cop: I'm afraid all of you will have to come with me.
Drummer: {reads the list.} Can we piggy back ride you?
[{fanfare plays.} The number 1 stupid thing to say right now!]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donut. They are sitting in a jail cell.}
Drummer: This sucks... Who's gonna bail me out?
{cut to Team Renegade.}
Gamer: {turns off his cell phone.} Forbidden Donuts are in jail... {everyone is silent for a minute. Then they all start laughing.} I go get them... after the game!
{they keep driving until they reach a house. Cut to inside. They are surrounding a bunny rabbit.}
Kuwabara: I'm not doing it...
[Tie a ribbon on Skye's bunny, Buffy's, ear: 10 points.]
Gamer: I ain't doing that stuff! That bunny is vicious! {Buffy starts thumping her foot.} OH SHOOT!!! She getting' evil!
Ryoko: What's the big deal? It's a bunny.
Gamer: I ain't messin' with that thing... {hands Ryoko the ribbon.} You do it!
Ryoko: Fine... {baby voice.} Come here bunny... Come here. {slowly walks up to her. Buffy starts thumping her foot faster.} C'mon baby... {ties the ribbon on her ear.} Atta girl... {the Buffy growls and pounces on Ryoko, attacking her.} GET HER OFF OF ME!!! {everyone else just backs away. After a while, Buffy stops and hops away happily with the ribbon on her ear. Ryoko is scratched up and shocked.} How much was that...?
{cut to Team Chaos. They are at a bowling alley. Skye is squirting aerosol cheese into 3 pairs of bowling shoes.}
Skye: This'll be interesting...
[Wear Cheesy Bowling Shoes: 15 points.]
Joey: What smells it smell like?
17: {smells one of the shoe.} Ah! Foul!
Skye: It's cheese and feet, what do ya expect? {Skye hesitantly outs a pair on.} Ew... It's feels weird...
Hiei: I'm not wearing it...
17: Me neither...
Skye: {gets angry} Put...them...on!!! {Hiei and 17 get scared and each grab a pair of shoes.} {cheerful.} Good!
Hiei: {puts a pair on and grimaces.} This is hardly hygienic...
17: {puts on his pair.} Can't believe we're doing this...
{Skye grabs a bowling bowl and prepares to roll it. She slips after she throws it. Hiei runs and slips. 17 has a hard time standing.}
Skye: I think I put in too much!
{cut to Team Policia. They are talking to an old woman.}
Miroku: Ready?
Old Woman: {flips off the camera.} VIVA LA GAME!!!
C.J.: Perfect! Thank you!
{cut to Team Renegade. They too are making an old woman flip the bird.}
Old Woman: {flips off the camera.} Is this right?
Gamer: Yep! Say the line!
Old Woman: VIVA LA GAME!!!
[Score: Renegade: 85
Policia: 65
Chaos: 55
Donuts: Eliminated!!!]
[Midnight is near! 12 minutes remain!]
{cut to Team Chaos. Skye is running around in a music store tearing to pieces posters with Hilary Duff on them. She has her CD player headphones on and is listening to Linkin Park so loud, everyone in the store can hear it. She runs to another poster and tears it apart. The manager walks up.}
Manager: You need to stop this!
Skye: {didn't hear him.} WHAT!?
Manager: {shouts.} YOU NEED TO STOP!!!
Skye: HUH!? {turns off her CD player.} What?
Manager: You need to stop. You can't tear apart any posters in here.
Skye: I'm just tearing up Hilary Duff posters. She sucks!
Manager: But you can't do that here. I'll have to ask you to leave.
Skye: Okay. {she walks to another poster and tears it up.}
Manager: Miss! Get out! {he starts to push her out the door.}
Skye: HILARY SUCKS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!! AND YOU JUST EARNED ME 10 POINTS!!! So thanks! {walks back into her car.}
{scene shows Skye talking to 2 police officers.}
Chief: Hey, Skye!
Skye: Hi dad! Can you help us with something? {hands him the list and points to a sentence.}
Chief: Okay... {looks at the other cop.} I need you to do something for my daughter.
{scene chows Skye piggy riding a cop.}
Skye: WHEEE!!! Thanks a lot! This is an easy 10 points!
[Piggy back ride a cop: 10 points.]
Cop: I still think you guys are insane.
Skye: ....Yeah... we are!!!
{scene show them driving to the Kuwabara home.}
Skye: That's it, guys. We go home...
{scene shows Team Forbidden Donuts walking home.}
Drummer: How much time is left?
Bender: 9 minutes.
Drummer: We're gonna lose... This sucks so much! {sees Goku fly away.} HEY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!! WE'RE ALL WALKING HOME!!! {Koga starts running really fast! GRRRRRRR... {the rest chase after them.}
{scene show Team Policia at a police academy. Botan and Mihoshi are helping C.J. put on a pink bunny costume.}
C.J.: Why do I think this is gonna go wrong... {Botan puts the pink bunny head over his face.}
Botan: Don't worry! It's extra padded.
C.J.: Not the crotch area...
Mihoshi: Uh...oh...
Miroku: This is gonna hurt you... REALLY badly...
{scene shows C.J. running from a pack of police dogs. He wearing the full body bunny costume. One jumps and bites his arm and drags him to the ground.}
C.J.: OW!!! {all the dogs surround him and start biting him.} AH!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! {one dog snatches the head and runs away.} OH {bleep.}!!! {cover his head.}
Miroku: {watching.} Oh crap!
Botan: Keep your head down!!!
C.J.: SHUT UP!!!
Kirby: P'yo! P'yo!
C.J.: You too!!! {after a while, the cop calls off the dogs and C.J. gets up.} Oh...my God... I was scared... {bleep}less... Damn...
[Get mauled by police dogs: 25 points]
C.J.: Did we win?
{cut back to the house. All the teams are in the living room. Team Renegade are the last to come in.}
Gamer: And... time!!!
[It's midnight!]
Shizuru: {walks in with a note pad.} Team Forbidden Donuts!
Drummer: Yeah?
Shizuru: You guys were last! {everyone laughs.} 60 points!
Drummer: Oh-ho-ho {starts laughing} Man! {everyone laughs}
Shizuru: You only got 60 points! In 3rd... with 80 points... so close to second... Team Chaos! {everyone politely applauds.} And in second place... if you guys only got like 10 more points... 85 points... Team Renegade! {Team Policia cheers.} And the winners! Team Policia! 90 points! This was really close!
Gamer: Hey wait!!! You guys shot-put the turkey?
C.J.:.......yes....
Gamer: Bull{bleep}! Mihoshi told me the story!
C.J.: WHAT?!
Mihoshi: Sorry... He asked me if we cheated... I can't lie very good.
Gamer: So... you cheaters lose 10 points! And guess what... TEAM RENEGADE WINS!!! {everyone except Team Policia cheers and applauds.}
C.J.: NO FAIR!!! WE NEED MORE TIME!!!
Gamer: Nope! Help me out with the piano!
{scene shows Gamer, C.J., Skye, Drummer, Yusuke, and Kuwabara start to carry the piano down the stairs. Yusuke starts to play a tune.}
Gamer: DUDE!!! {everyone shouts complains and Yusuke stops.} You play too much!
{they start to go out the door and he plays the tune again.}
Skye: {angry.} ENOUGH!!! {Yusuke stops.}
{they get the piano outside and everyone stand in the yard. Gamer ties the piano to the crane.}
Gamer: Lift 'er up!!! {Su is working the controls and lifts the piano in the air. Shizuru screams. It's about 100 feet in the air.} Hold it! {he runs to Policia's car and drives it under the piano.}
C.J.: NO!!!
Gamer: {walks away from the car.} Drop that thing!
Su: Here it goes!!! {she releases the piano from the crane it falls right on top of the car and demolishes it. It's completely in pieces and trashed up.} WOOOOOOO!!!
{everyone except C.J. starts to laugh and cheer.}
C.J.: Oh...damn... {holds his head.} 200 {bleep} bucks... destroyed like that...
{scene shows Gamer and Shizuru talking.}
Gamer: That was fun! We gotta do that again.
Shizuru: No!
Gamer: Yeah! Tomorrow!
Shizuru: No! Way!
Gamer: Okay... we'll do it next week!
Shizuru: Fine... {walks back in the house.} Good night!
{scenes show it is the day. Gamer, C.J., Drummer. Knux and Hiei are in the yard.}
Gamer: It's a known fact that Skye loves her blue bangs. More than her rabbit and CD player. And she's taking a nap in the house. {laughs evilly. He holds up a bowl of a clear liquid.} This is used to wash away hair dye...
{scene show Skye napping on the couch. She has her CD player on and is listening to Linkin Park. Scene cuts back to the group of pranksters. They start to argue.}
Gamer: This is gonna be harder than we thought. We can't figure out who's gonna do it, cause everyone here is a little {bleep.}
Knux: We once when to a water park. The chlorine washed away her dye. She got so pissed, she nearly tore apart the water slide, punched me out, and even threaten to sue the manager.
Gamer: You can do it Knux!
Knux: Hell no! She lives really close to me! She can find me and kick my ass! All she needs to do is walk like 4 blocks!
Gamer: Hiei?
Hiei: No thanks. Have you ever seen her angry?
Drummer: Why don't YOU do it Gamer? You're so brave. I'd do it, but I'm a girl and I know how girls get when it comes to hair. She's shave all my green hair off! GREEN!!!
Gamer: Fine! I'll do it!
{scene shows Gamer sneaking up to Skye and dipping her hair in the dye remover. After a while he turns and runs away. Skye bangs are now dark blonde. Soon, she wakes up and fells her bangs. The blue dye is on her fingers. Scene cuts to outside again. Skye storms out the house with anger in her eyes.}
Skye: {angry and shouting} EVERYTHING'S A {bleep} JOKE, HUH!?!?!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR!?!?!?
Gamer: I didn't do anything...
Skye: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!
Gamer: I didn't do it...
Skye: ARRRRRRRGH!!!! {she stomps over to Gamer's Hummer and starts kicking the door and punching the window.}
Gamer: WAIT! DON'T DO THAT!!!
Skye: {she keeps kicking the door until it is completely dented and the window is smashed. She picks up a rock and throws it right in the wind shield. She storms back into the house and slams thew door.}
{everyone is silent for a while.}
Knux: I'm surprised she took that so lightly...
Gamer: THE HELL DO YA MEAN "TOOK IT LIGHTLY?!" She put a huge ass dent in my car and smashed my windows! She completely wreaked it!
Hiei: She's gonna hate you forever.
Gamer: I can live with that, but not this crap she did on my car!
Skye: {walks out with newly dyed blue bangs.} {cheerfully.} Hi, guys!
Drummer: And she's happy again.
{scene shows Gamer trying to take the door off the Hummer.}
Gamer: I think we all learned a new lesson. Hell hath no fury like Skye when she's pissed. All and all, it was a pretty good day. Catch ya later! {the car door falls off.}
Announcer: Next time on Viva La Game!
{scene shows Kitsune's (Love Hina) face on a billboard that says, "Kitsune can't drink!"
Gamer: It's "Kitsune can't drink week!" All week, no alcohol!
{scene shows Gamer pouring alcohol down the sink. Scene changes to Kitsune and C.J. sitting at a table outside.}
C.J.: {holds out a beer to Kitsune.} Here you go... {Kitsune reaches for it. C.J. pulls it back.} Nope!
{scene shows Kitsune trying to buy a beer at a bar.}
Kitsune: PLEASE!!! JUST ONE!!!
Bartender: No. {points to a sign with Kitsune's picture on it.}
{scene shows Gamer on stage at Head Banger's Ball.}
Gamer: {chanting.} Kitsune can't drink! Kitsune can't drink!
{the audience starts chanting with him. Final scene shows Ryoko offering a jug of Sake to Kitsune.}
Ryoko: He won't know... {Naru (Love Hina) is watching from the other room with concern.}
Announcer: On the Viva La Game!
{scene shows Yukina talking to Gamer.}
Gamer: You know what you said?
Yukina: No. what?
Gamer: The F-word?
Yukina: What F-word?
Gamer: {bleep.} {Yukina gasps.}
Yukina: I didn't!
Gamer: Yes you did!
Yukina: Did I? Oh my... {laughs a little.} Oops!
{scene fades out. PLZ R&R!}
unless you count anime characters and authors animals.
I don't own Viva La Bam! Or any anime on this fic. The only characters I own are Gamer and C.J.! DrummerLadyFromHell and Skye Agony are 2 of my friends. (well, Drummer's my little sister.)
[...] = text that appears on screen. {...} = actions.
{scene fades in showing a brown haired teenager running setting somethin on the floor in a kitchen. He then runs and hides behind a counter..}
Gamer: Shhhhh... My name is Gamerctm. I'm the author/character of this fanfic. I like to open up all my fic with a shocking surprise... and what's more shocking than a goody two shoes anime chick saying the F-word. Yeah... the F-word. You know... {bleep}! So before the show officially starts, I'm gonna make an anime girl say {bleep}!
{within moments, a blue haired girl walks into the kitchen. It's Yukina, (YuYu Hakusho.) walking towards the counter. She hears a hiss and looks down on the floor.}
Yukina: {gasp} H-Hiei... Kazuma... {she sees on the floor a large alligator, hissing very softly.} {scared} What's going on here? Hello? {the gator snaps his jaw. This causes her to scream.} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {she turns around and runs out of the kitchen.} HELP!!!
Gamer: {comes up from behind the counter and laughs menacingly. He walks over and picks up the gator and walks out the kitchen. He walks over to a nearby closet.} Yukina?
Yukina: NO! NO! GET AWAY!
Gamer: It's just me.
Yukina: {opens the door and sees the gator.} AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET IT AWAY!!! {slams the door.}
Gamer: C'mon! It's just a gator!
Yukina: Is it real?! {opens the door.} IS IT REAL!? IS IT REAL?!
Gamer: Yes.
Yukina: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {slams the door.} That is the scariest {bleep} thing I've ever seen!
Gamer: SUCCESS!!! {the crew starts applauding and cheering.} YEAH!!! HI! I'm Gamerctm! Welcome to VIVA LA GAME!!!
{rock intro starts playing.}
Announcer: Heeeeeeeeeeeee's Gamerctm! He loves Hockey! He also likes to shake things up a bit! He's gonna drive anime characters so insane that they LOSE THEIR MINDS!!! On tonight's show...
{scene shows an old car driving through the front door of a house.}
Shizuru: {comes out screaming.} WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?
Gamer: {comes out of the car.} We're having a scavenger hunt! 4 teams! 1 night! Winner gets that old piano!
{scenes show Gamer getting ice poured down his pants, Kuwabara getting kicked in the groin, Hiei throwing a brick at another car, and Joey getting spit on by a llama. It then shows the house with a crane truck next to it.}
Shizuru: {talking on a cell phone.} What's the crane for?
Gamer: {on the other line.} You'll find out...
{final scene shows Shizuru screaming as the crane moves.}
Announcer: What is Gamer gonna do next?
{scene show Gamer in the driver's seat of his Hummer.}
Gamer: What ever the {bleep} I want!
Viva La Game!
Episode 1: Gamer the Scavenger
{scene faded into the backyard of the Kuwabara house. Gamer, C.J., Yusuke, and Kuwabara standing around.}
Gamer: {has a football in his hands.} PICK EM' UP!!! MESS EM' UP!!!
[Gamerctm... @$$**** with imagination.]
{Gamer throws the ball at Yusake, who catches it.}
[Yusuke Urameshi... Sprit Detective and smart ass.]
Yusuke: YEEEEEEEEAH!!! {runs towards the other side of the yard. But gets stopped when C.J. tackles into to him and knocks him down.}
[C.J.... fanfic OC and freeloader.]
C.J.: That's mine, jerkass! {takes the football and runs towards Gamer. Gamer tries to tackle him, but C.J. swiftly dodges him and keeps running.} Victory is mine! {Kuwabara grab s, lifts him into the air and slams him to the ground.} Owwww...
[Kuwabara... Baka...Baka... and cat loving baka...]
Kuwabara: {C.J. tosses him the football and he starts running.} This is my game! {he sees Yusake and Gamer chasing after him. He runs into the backdoor and into the house.} Come and get me, wimps!!!
{They all chase after him, trying to tackle him. They run past Shizuru, who starts screaming at them.}
Shizuru: OUTSIDE! TAKE IT OUTSIDE!!!
{They continue to run into the living room. Kuwabara stops for a second and takes a breath in front of an old piano.}
Gamer: YAH!!! {Gamer jumps towards him. Kuwabara gets out of the way and Gamer crashes into the piano.} Ow! Dude!
Shizuru: You idiots better get outta here!
[Shizuru... Killer of Fun]
Gamer: {holding his stomach.} That sucked...
Yusake: Nice crash!
Kuwabara: That's okay. We gotta get rid of the piano anyway.
{the scene freezes for a second. A light bulb appears over Gamer's head and it flickers on. The bulb disappears and the scene returns to normal.}
Gamer: Shizuru. I can get rid of the piano for ya. I'll do it for free!
Shizuru.: Really? You won't... blow it up or anything.
Gamer: I won't blow it up. I'll take it off your hands.
Shizuru: Well... alright.
Gamer: Good...
{scene cuts to Gamer standing outside talking into a cell phone.}
Gamer: Yo. Drummer... You still got that ghetto ride of yours? You do... get over here at around 5:30. Bring 4 friends. We're gonna have fun tonight! {he turns off the phone and dials another person.} Yo Skye! Go to the dump, find the best car you can find, bring it and 4 friends here! I got a idea for tonight...
[ {demonic laugh.} Time for some fun!]
{scene changes to Gamer and C.J. walking towards a red Hummer H2 with "DA GR8 1" on the plate.}
[ The Insanity Machine! ]
{Gamer climbs into the driver's seat and C.J., the passenger.}
C.J.: We gonna get some chicks tonight?
Gamer: Not tonight my friend... we gotta trip to the dump!
{the car drives off.}
{scene cuts to the living room, where Shizuru watching TV and smoking a cigarette. The phone rings and she gets up to answer it.}
Shizuru: {picks up the phone.} Hello?
Gamer: {on the other line.} Shizuru! Where are you right now?
Shizuru: {puzzled} In the living room?
Gamer: Is any one at the front door?
Shizuru: {checks.} No.
Gamer: Good!
{cut to the front door from inside the house. It's quiet for a while. Suddenly, the door flies apart when a junked up Station Wagon rams into the house.}
Shizuru: {shocked.} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {sees Gamer climb out of the car.} WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?
Gamer: We're having a scavenger hunt!
Shizuru: What about the door?!
Gamer: {looks around on the floor and sees the pieces of the door.} I'll fix it later.
Shizuru: {sighs.} So is it just you having this scavenger hunt?
Gamer: No! It's gonna me, C.J., Skye, and Drummer. Plus... {thinks for a minute.} 16 other people!
Shizuru: Oh God...
{cut to the front yard, where about 20 different people are standing around. There are also 4 junky cars parked in the front.}
Drummer: {cuts to her.} This better be good...
[DrummerLadyFromHell... Gamer's little sister, beginner 'fic writer, and just as INSANE!!!]
Skye: {cuts to her.} Woulda be here sooner, but Knuckles got lost!
[Skye Agony... Fellow Author and Chaotix Fan number 2368.]
{Gamer stands on top of the roof.}
Gamer: {shouting over the banter.} ALRIGHT!!! SHUT UP!!! {there is silence.} The reason I called you all here tonight is for something really important! Tonight will be the first annual Viva La Game city wide scavenger hunt! {everyone starts to cheer.} We will break up into 4 teams of 5!
[Team Renegade: Captain Gamer, Kuwabara (YuYu Hakusho), Inuyasha (Inuyasha), Ryoko (Tenchi Muyo!), and Su Kaolla (Love Hina).]
[Team Forbidden Donuts: Captain Drummer, Yusuke Urameshi (YuYu Hakusho), Goku (DBZ), Koga (Inuyasha), and Bender (Futurama).]
[Team Policia: Captain C.J., Botan (YuYu Hakusho), Kirby (Kirby), Mihoshi (Tenchi) and Miroku (Inuyasha).]
[Team Chaos: Captain Skye, Hiei (YuYu Hakusho), Knuckles (Sonic X), 17 (DBZ), and Joey Wheeler (Yu-Gi-Oh!)]
Gamer: The rules are simple! {hold up a list.} You got from 6:00 PM to midnight to do as many insane stunts on this list as you can.
[Shizuru and Yukina: Official scorekeepers]
Gamer: You will then call Shizuru and tell her and Yukina the stunt you completed and they will see how many points you earn for it. Whoever has the most points by midnight, wins the piano and can do whatever the hell they want with it!
C.J.: {cut to him. He's standing in front of his old messed up police car.} We call our team "Policia" because {speaks in Spanish.} And that in English means, we're too fast, too furious!
Skye: {cut to her. She's standing in front of an old SUV.} We call ourselves team "Chaos" cause that's what you get! Chaos!
Drummer: {cut to her. She's in front of her window-smashed wood paneled Station Wagon imprinted with "RebHellions"} We are team "Forbidden Donuts!" Cause we are good! We are delicious! But you can't touch us!
Gamer: {cut to him. He's in front of his Station Wagon.} We call ourselves team "Renegade". Why? Cause we {bleep} can!
{all the teams get into their respected cars and start revving up. Gamer, however, climbs out of his car with a hockey stick in his hand. He walks over to C.J.'s car and with a swing of the stick, smashes the side window to pieces.}
C.J.: {climbs out.} {angry.} THE {bleep} IS UP WITH THAT!?!?!?
Gamer: Sorry. {walks back to his car and laughs menacingly.} We haven't even started and already we got 5 points!
[Damage another team's car: 5 points.]
Gamer: {inside his car.} READY!!! SET!!! .......GO!!!
{all the cars screech away from the house and into the city streets.}
[Time 'til midnight... 5 hours, 59 minutes.].
}}commercial break{{
{scenes fades in, showing Team Renegade cruising down the street.}
[Score: Renegade: 5
Chaos:0
Policia: 0
Donuts: 0]
Su: Gamer! We should do this one first! {hands him the list.}
Gamer: Let's go!!!
{scene show Kuwabara standing in front of a little kid.}
Ryoko: {to the kid.} Pretend he's a bad man!
{the little kid kicks Kuwabara hard in the groin.}
Kuwabara: AH!!! {in pain.} Ow.... {sinks to his knees in pain.}
{Gamer, Su, Inuyasha, and Ryoko laugh.}
[Get kicked in the groin: 10 points.]
{cut to team Policia.}
C.J.: We're gonna do the one at the bottom! I wrote that one!
Miroku: {excited.} YEAH!!!
{scene shows C.J. and Miroku talking to a young woman.}
C.J.: We're having a scavenger hunt and I was wondering... for $50, would maybe come with us and would you try out some lingerie?
Woman: {laughs.} Are you serious?
C.J.: For $50! That's all you gotta do! We give you it all in cash!
Woman: Well... okay.
Miroku: Really?
Woman: Sure!
{C.J. and Miroku cheer.}
C.J.: What's your name anyway?
Woman: Kate.
C.J.: Well Kate. Come with us.
{the 3 of then walk into a clothing store. Before he goes in, C.J. gives a thumbs up to the camera.}
{scene cut to the 2 guys near the women's changing room.}
Miroku: {shouting inside.} Need some help? I'll be glad to!
{Kate laughs from inside.}
Kate: I got it!
{she walks out wearing sexy black lingerie}
C.J.: {whistles.} Screw the points! I'll take her instead!
Miroku: For an extra 50, would you...
Kate: No thanks.
C.J.: Kay! Here's your 50. {hands her the money and hugs her.} Thank you so much! You can keep that if you want!
[Get a random girl off the street to try on lingerie: 20 points.]
{scene show Team Chaos at the zoo.}
Skye: Kay, boys! We need to find the llama cages!
{they walk around until they find a llama. Joey stands in front of its mouth.}
Knux: How do ya make a llama spit anyway?
17: I don't know...
Skye: Let's just wait...
{suddenly the llama spits in Joey's face.}
Joey: Eww... Gross!!! Damn!
Skye: {laughing.} That wasn't long!
Hiei: How many points is that?
[Get spit on by a llama: 10 points.]
{cut to team Forbidden Donuts.}
Drummer: We need to get some big points! What's the highest thing on the list?
Yusuke: {reads the list.} This one's looks easy.
{scene shows Goku and Yusuke and different shopping carts. Koga is behind Goku's, Bender is behind Yusuke's.}
Drummer: Ready...GO!
{they start to push the shopping carts into each other at full. They collide, and causes everyone to hit the ground in a huge crash.}
Yusuke: {in pain.} Ow.
Bender: Didn't even feel a thing!
Goku: Me neither.
Drummer: A Super Saiyan and robot can handle this stuff. The other two can't!
[Ride two shopping carts into each other: 15 points.]
[Score: Policia: 20
Renegade: 15
Donut: 15
Chaos: 10]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts standing on top of a grass hill. Drummer is on a skateboard without any wheels.}
Drummer: How do we do this one?
Yusuke: {reading the list.} All ya gotta do is slide down the hill and into that creek.
{cut to the creek.}
[The Sick Ass Creek.]
{cut back to Drummer. She slides down the grass on the board and splashes into the muddy water. The others cheer and yell. She emerges out covered in mud and water.}
Drummer: I feel like Swamp Thing! {everyone laughs.} Get me a towel!
Goku: You look like Swamp Thing!
Koga: If she looks like it, why'd she have to go in the water?! {everyone laughs louder}
{Drummer pulls Koga into the water. Everyone laughs even louder and harder.}
[Skate into the sick ass creek: 10 points.]
{cut to Team Renegade. They are at a gas station store.}
Gamer: We need 6 eggs!!!
[swallow 6 raw eggs: 20 points.]
{Gamer cracks 6 eggs in a cup and hands it to Su.}
Gamer: Drink em' down, Su!
Su: {she drinks all 6 eggs down without stopping. She wipes her mouth when she finishes and laughs in victory.}
Gamer: That's another 20 for us!!! Call Shizuru!
Kuwabara: {dials Shizuru on a cell phone.} We got 20 more points!
{cut to Team Chaos. They are driving slowly up to Team Renegade's car.}
Skye: Do it Hiei!
Hiei: {walks out of the car with a brick in hand. He throws it at Renegade's car and smashes the back window.} GO! GO!!! {he climbs back into the car and it drives away quickly.}
{Gamer and Ryoko run out screaming profanity at Chaos. Chaos laughs evilly at them.}
[Damage another team's car: 5 points.]
{cut to Team Policia. They are at a different store.}
C.J.: This is why we have Kirby on our team!
Kirby: {C.J. lays out 6 eggs in front of him. He sucks up all them at once and eats them.} P'yo!
C.J.: And that's another 20 for the greatest team!
{Swallow 6 raw eggs: 20 points.]
{cut to Team Chaos in another store.}
Knux: {holding a cup full of raw eggs.} Do I have to do this.
Skye: Yes! Just do it!
Knux: {hesitantly drinks them down slowly. He does swallow them.} Uh...
17: JUST SWALLOW THEM!!!
Knux: {spits them out on the floor.} Yuk! {everyone groans and complains. Hiei comes behind him and slaps him in the back of the head.}
Joey: You little wimp!
Skye: Screw this! Just get the magazine by there. {points to a dirty magazine.}
{cut to Skye standing in front of an old man, holding up the magazine to him.}
Old Man: OH {bleep}!!!
[Get an old man to say the S-word: 15]
Score: Policia: 40
Renegade: 35
Chaos: 30
Donut: 25
{cut to the Kuwabara House. Shizuru is totaling up the points when she hears a truck driving outside.}
Yukina: {keeping points.} What's that sound?
Shizuru: Is that outside? {she walks to the front door and sees a crane truck pull up to the house.} {shouts to the driver.} WHAT'S WITH THE TRUCK?
Driver: {shouting back.} A guy named "Gamer" rented this truck for some construction work.
Shizuru: Oh...no... {quickly pulls out a cell phone and franticly dials a number.}
Gamer: {on the other line.} Gamer.
Shizuru: What's the crane for?
Gamer: Did it get there already?
Shizuru: {sternly.} What...is...the...crane...for?
Gamer: I can't tell ya.
Shizuru: {shouting.} Whatta ya mean you can't tell me!?!?
Gamer: It'll ruin the surprise...
Shizuru: What surprise?!
Gamer: When I win... you'll find out... {hangs up.}
Shizuru: GAMER! GAMER! {throws the phone on the ground.} Damn!
{cut to Team Renegade. Gamer is outside the car wearing really baggy pants. Ryoko and Su are holding bags of ice.}
Gamer: C'mon! Let's get this over with!
Ryoko: How many bag...
Gamer: Just two! C'MON!!!
Su: Are yo sure?
Gamer: Yeah! C'mon! 20 points! HURRY UP!!!
{Su and Ryoko open the bags and start to pour ice in his pants.}
Gamer: Oh... that ain't so... {shouts.} OH GOD!!! {everyone laughs at him.} shhhhh... DAMMIT!!! It's is so... {bleep} cold, it feels like it's burning!!! AH! This is the coldest my {bleep} have ever been! {everyone laughs even louder.} AH!!! GOD! Oh... and that's it... Gimme coffee! {Su hands him a cup of hot coffee. He pours it all down his pants.} {relieved.} Ahhhh... That's feels so good now... yeah...
[Pour 2 bags of ice down your pants.: 15 points.]
{cut to Team Chaos. They are in a parking complex. 17 has a store bought turkey in his hand.}
17: {grunts.} YAH!!! {he shot puts the turkey right through the back window of his car and smashes the glass.}
[Shot put a turkey (preferably one for roasting) through your car window: 10 points]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts. Bender throws a turkey with ease through the side window of their car.}
Drummer: And that's 10 points.
{cut to Team Renegade. Inuyasha throws a turkey at the back window of their car, but it bounces off.}
Gamer: Dude... you throw like a little girl.
{Inuyasha tries again and bounces off again.}
Ryoko: Lemme he see... {she throws turkey and smashes the window.} Easy...
{cut to Team Policia}
C.J.: {shouting.} WHERE'S THE DAMN TURKEY!!!
Botan: I don't know... it was here a minute ago.
Mihoshi: Maybe it walked away?
C.J.: IT WAS {bleep} DEAD!!!
Miroku: Found it...
{Kirby walks around from behind the car with the turkey wrapper on his face and spits out a turkey bone.}
Kirby: {excited.} P'yo! P'yo!
C.J.: {turns around and shouts to the skies.} {bleep}!!!
Mihoshi: {giggles.} Looks like we need a new turkey...
C.J.: I am not shelling out another 30 bucks for a turkey! Call Shizuru and tell her we did it!
Botan: But we didn't...
C.J.: She don't know that...
[{choir of boos.} The Cheater cometh!]
Botan: {uneasy.} {on the phone.} We got 10 more points... {hangs up the phone.} She will find out.
C.J.: Not if no one tells her... okay?
Mihoshi: {shakes her head.}
{cut to Team Forbidden Donuts. They are entering a corner store. Drummer, Goku, Bender, Yusuke, and Koga start picking up products and throwing them at each other. An old lady that works there rushes to the scene}
Old Lady: {shouting} WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?
Drummer: We're having a contest. Whoever comes out unbruised wins!
Old Lady: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE! GET THE {bleep} OUTTA HERE!
{everyone stops and starts walking out the door.}
Drummer: Okay, dudes, let's go. I hate the smell of old lady anyway.
{Goku goes up to the old lady.}
Goku: Hey, who won? Do ya know?
Old Lady: {Flips the camera and Goku the bird.} Hell no! Get these {bleep} cameras out of my store, {bleep} idiots!!!
{Goku walks out and joins the rest of the team}
Drummer: Okay, we got kicked out the store, that's 10. Mark it off.
Goku: The lady flipped off the camera, too. AND ME.
Drummer: She did? Oh {bleep}! Well, dudes, we got double points. She flipped off the camera and kicked us out of the store!
Goku: How much they together?
Drummer: That's... 25 points right there. Someone call Shizuru.
{Koga dials a number} Hey Shizuru, we did two things at once. Old bat threw us out of her store and gave Goku and the camera the finger. It's 25 points. {hangs up}
Bender: Good job, buddy. Whaddja do?
Goku: I asked her a stupid question! The lady's a foul mouth granny, too!
Bender: I always knew your stupidity would be good for somethin'!
[Get an old lady to flip off the camera: 15 points] [Get kicked out of a store: 10 points]
[Score: Donuts: 60
Renegade: 60
Policia: 50
Chaos: 40]
{Team Forbidden Donuts climb into their can and drive away, laughing and cheering. They stop when they hear police sirens.}
Bender: Oh, we're boned!
[They fought the law and got their asses kicked.]
Cop: {walks up to the car.} License and Registration.
Drummer: Um... I left the registration at home...
[Stupid thing to say right now ... number 3]
Cop: You are aware that it is a fine to drive without ant registration?
Drummer: Um... I didn't steal this car... (She didn't steal her own car.)
[Stupid thing to say right now ... number 2]
Cop: I'm afraid all of you will have to come with me.
Drummer: {reads the list.} Can we piggy back ride you?
[{fanfare plays.} The number 1 stupid thing to say right now!]
{cut to Team Forbidden Donut. They are sitting in a jail cell.}
Drummer: This sucks... Who's gonna bail me out?
{cut to Team Renegade.}
Gamer: {turns off his cell phone.} Forbidden Donuts are in jail... {everyone is silent for a minute. Then they all start laughing.} I go get them... after the game!
{they keep driving until they reach a house. Cut to inside. They are surrounding a bunny rabbit.}
Kuwabara: I'm not doing it...
[Tie a ribbon on Skye's bunny, Buffy's, ear: 10 points.]
Gamer: I ain't doing that stuff! That bunny is vicious! {Buffy starts thumping her foot.} OH SHOOT!!! She getting' evil!
Ryoko: What's the big deal? It's a bunny.
Gamer: I ain't messin' with that thing... {hands Ryoko the ribbon.} You do it!
Ryoko: Fine... {baby voice.} Come here bunny... Come here. {slowly walks up to her. Buffy starts thumping her foot faster.} C'mon baby... {ties the ribbon on her ear.} Atta girl... {the Buffy growls and pounces on Ryoko, attacking her.} GET HER OFF OF ME!!! {everyone else just backs away. After a while, Buffy stops and hops away happily with the ribbon on her ear. Ryoko is scratched up and shocked.} How much was that...?
{cut to Team Chaos. They are at a bowling alley. Skye is squirting aerosol cheese into 3 pairs of bowling shoes.}
Skye: This'll be interesting...
[Wear Cheesy Bowling Shoes: 15 points.]
Joey: What smells it smell like?
17: {smells one of the shoe.} Ah! Foul!
Skye: It's cheese and feet, what do ya expect? {Skye hesitantly outs a pair on.} Ew... It's feels weird...
Hiei: I'm not wearing it...
17: Me neither...
Skye: {gets angry} Put...them...on!!! {Hiei and 17 get scared and each grab a pair of shoes.} {cheerful.} Good!
Hiei: {puts a pair on and grimaces.} This is hardly hygienic...
17: {puts on his pair.} Can't believe we're doing this...
{Skye grabs a bowling bowl and prepares to roll it. She slips after she throws it. Hiei runs and slips. 17 has a hard time standing.}
Skye: I think I put in too much!
{cut to Team Policia. They are talking to an old woman.}
Miroku: Ready?
Old Woman: {flips off the camera.} VIVA LA GAME!!!
C.J.: Perfect! Thank you!
{cut to Team Renegade. They too are making an old woman flip the bird.}
Old Woman: {flips off the camera.} Is this right?
Gamer: Yep! Say the line!
Old Woman: VIVA LA GAME!!!
[Score: Renegade: 85
Policia: 65
Chaos: 55
Donuts: Eliminated!!!]
[Midnight is near! 12 minutes remain!]
{cut to Team Chaos. Skye is running around in a music store tearing to pieces posters with Hilary Duff on them. She has her CD player headphones on and is listening to Linkin Park so loud, everyone in the store can hear it. She runs to another poster and tears it apart. The manager walks up.}
Manager: You need to stop this!
Skye: {didn't hear him.} WHAT!?
Manager: {shouts.} YOU NEED TO STOP!!!
Skye: HUH!? {turns off her CD player.} What?
Manager: You need to stop. You can't tear apart any posters in here.
Skye: I'm just tearing up Hilary Duff posters. She sucks!
Manager: But you can't do that here. I'll have to ask you to leave.
Skye: Okay. {she walks to another poster and tears it up.}
Manager: Miss! Get out! {he starts to push her out the door.}
Skye: HILARY SUCKS!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!! AND YOU JUST EARNED ME 10 POINTS!!! So thanks! {walks back into her car.}
{scene shows Skye talking to 2 police officers.}
Chief: Hey, Skye!
Skye: Hi dad! Can you help us with something? {hands him the list and points to a sentence.}
Chief: Okay... {looks at the other cop.} I need you to do something for my daughter.
{scene chows Skye piggy riding a cop.}
Skye: WHEEE!!! Thanks a lot! This is an easy 10 points!
[Piggy back ride a cop: 10 points.]
Cop: I still think you guys are insane.
Skye: ....Yeah... we are!!!
{scene show them driving to the Kuwabara home.}
Skye: That's it, guys. We go home...
{scene shows Team Forbidden Donuts walking home.}
Drummer: How much time is left?
Bender: 9 minutes.
Drummer: We're gonna lose... This sucks so much! {sees Goku fly away.} HEY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!! WE'RE ALL WALKING HOME!!! {Koga starts running really fast! GRRRRRRR... {the rest chase after them.}
{scene show Team Policia at a police academy. Botan and Mihoshi are helping C.J. put on a pink bunny costume.}
C.J.: Why do I think this is gonna go wrong... {Botan puts the pink bunny head over his face.}
Botan: Don't worry! It's extra padded.
C.J.: Not the crotch area...
Mihoshi: Uh...oh...
Miroku: This is gonna hurt you... REALLY badly...
{scene shows C.J. running from a pack of police dogs. He wearing the full body bunny costume. One jumps and bites his arm and drags him to the ground.}
C.J.: OW!!! {all the dogs surround him and start biting him.} AH!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! {one dog snatches the head and runs away.} OH {bleep.}!!! {cover his head.}
Miroku: {watching.} Oh crap!
Botan: Keep your head down!!!
C.J.: SHUT UP!!!
Kirby: P'yo! P'yo!
C.J.: You too!!! {after a while, the cop calls off the dogs and C.J. gets up.} Oh...my God... I was scared... {bleep}less... Damn...
[Get mauled by police dogs: 25 points]
C.J.: Did we win?
{cut back to the house. All the teams are in the living room. Team Renegade are the last to come in.}
Gamer: And... time!!!
[It's midnight!]
Shizuru: {walks in with a note pad.} Team Forbidden Donuts!
Drummer: Yeah?
Shizuru: You guys were last! {everyone laughs.} 60 points!
Drummer: Oh-ho-ho {starts laughing} Man! {everyone laughs}
Shizuru: You only got 60 points! In 3rd... with 80 points... so close to second... Team Chaos! {everyone politely applauds.} And in second place... if you guys only got like 10 more points... 85 points... Team Renegade! {Team Policia cheers.} And the winners! Team Policia! 90 points! This was really close!
Gamer: Hey wait!!! You guys shot-put the turkey?
C.J.:.......yes....
Gamer: Bull{bleep}! Mihoshi told me the story!
C.J.: WHAT?!
Mihoshi: Sorry... He asked me if we cheated... I can't lie very good.
Gamer: So... you cheaters lose 10 points! And guess what... TEAM RENEGADE WINS!!! {everyone except Team Policia cheers and applauds.}
C.J.: NO FAIR!!! WE NEED MORE TIME!!!
Gamer: Nope! Help me out with the piano!
{scene shows Gamer, C.J., Skye, Drummer, Yusuke, and Kuwabara start to carry the piano down the stairs. Yusuke starts to play a tune.}
Gamer: DUDE!!! {everyone shouts complains and Yusuke stops.} You play too much!
{they start to go out the door and he plays the tune again.}
Skye: {angry.} ENOUGH!!! {Yusuke stops.}
{they get the piano outside and everyone stand in the yard. Gamer ties the piano to the crane.}
Gamer: Lift 'er up!!! {Su is working the controls and lifts the piano in the air. Shizuru screams. It's about 100 feet in the air.} Hold it! {he runs to Policia's car and drives it under the piano.}
C.J.: NO!!!
Gamer: {walks away from the car.} Drop that thing!
Su: Here it goes!!! {she releases the piano from the crane it falls right on top of the car and demolishes it. It's completely in pieces and trashed up.} WOOOOOOO!!!
{everyone except C.J. starts to laugh and cheer.}
C.J.: Oh...damn... {holds his head.} 200 {bleep} bucks... destroyed like that...
{scene shows Gamer and Shizuru talking.}
Gamer: That was fun! We gotta do that again.
Shizuru: No!
Gamer: Yeah! Tomorrow!
Shizuru: No! Way!
Gamer: Okay... we'll do it next week!
Shizuru: Fine... {walks back in the house.} Good night!
{scenes show it is the day. Gamer, C.J., Drummer. Knux and Hiei are in the yard.}
Gamer: It's a known fact that Skye loves her blue bangs. More than her rabbit and CD player. And she's taking a nap in the house. {laughs evilly. He holds up a bowl of a clear liquid.} This is used to wash away hair dye...
{scene show Skye napping on the couch. She has her CD player on and is listening to Linkin Park. Scene cuts back to the group of pranksters. They start to argue.}
Gamer: This is gonna be harder than we thought. We can't figure out who's gonna do it, cause everyone here is a little {bleep.}
Knux: We once when to a water park. The chlorine washed away her dye. She got so pissed, she nearly tore apart the water slide, punched me out, and even threaten to sue the manager.
Gamer: You can do it Knux!
Knux: Hell no! She lives really close to me! She can find me and kick my ass! All she needs to do is walk like 4 blocks!
Gamer: Hiei?
Hiei: No thanks. Have you ever seen her angry?
Drummer: Why don't YOU do it Gamer? You're so brave. I'd do it, but I'm a girl and I know how girls get when it comes to hair. She's shave all my green hair off! GREEN!!!
Gamer: Fine! I'll do it!
{scene shows Gamer sneaking up to Skye and dipping her hair in the dye remover. After a while he turns and runs away. Skye bangs are now dark blonde. Soon, she wakes up and fells her bangs. The blue dye is on her fingers. Scene cuts to outside again. Skye storms out the house with anger in her eyes.}
Skye: {angry and shouting} EVERYTHING'S A {bleep} JOKE, HUH!?!?!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR!?!?!?
Gamer: I didn't do anything...
Skye: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!
Gamer: I didn't do it...
Skye: ARRRRRRRGH!!!! {she stomps over to Gamer's Hummer and starts kicking the door and punching the window.}
Gamer: WAIT! DON'T DO THAT!!!
Skye: {she keeps kicking the door until it is completely dented and the window is smashed. She picks up a rock and throws it right in the wind shield. She storms back into the house and slams thew door.}
{everyone is silent for a while.}
Knux: I'm surprised she took that so lightly...
Gamer: THE HELL DO YA MEAN "TOOK IT LIGHTLY?!" She put a huge ass dent in my car and smashed my windows! She completely wreaked it!
Hiei: She's gonna hate you forever.
Gamer: I can live with that, but not this crap she did on my car!
Skye: {walks out with newly dyed blue bangs.} {cheerfully.} Hi, guys!
Drummer: And she's happy again.
{scene shows Gamer trying to take the door off the Hummer.}
Gamer: I think we all learned a new lesson. Hell hath no fury like Skye when she's pissed. All and all, it was a pretty good day. Catch ya later! {the car door falls off.}
Announcer: Next time on Viva La Game!
{scene shows Kitsune's (Love Hina) face on a billboard that says, "Kitsune can't drink!"
Gamer: It's "Kitsune can't drink week!" All week, no alcohol!
{scene shows Gamer pouring alcohol down the sink. Scene changes to Kitsune and C.J. sitting at a table outside.}
C.J.: {holds out a beer to Kitsune.} Here you go... {Kitsune reaches for it. C.J. pulls it back.} Nope!
{scene shows Kitsune trying to buy a beer at a bar.}
Kitsune: PLEASE!!! JUST ONE!!!
Bartender: No. {points to a sign with Kitsune's picture on it.}
{scene shows Gamer on stage at Head Banger's Ball.}
Gamer: {chanting.} Kitsune can't drink! Kitsune can't drink!
{the audience starts chanting with him. Final scene shows Ryoko offering a jug of Sake to Kitsune.}
Ryoko: He won't know... {Naru (Love Hina) is watching from the other room with concern.}
Announcer: On the Viva La Game!
{scene shows Yukina talking to Gamer.}
Gamer: You know what you said?
Yukina: No. what?
Gamer: The F-word?
Yukina: What F-word?
Gamer: {bleep.} {Yukina gasps.}
Yukina: I didn't!
Gamer: Yes you did!
Yukina: Did I? Oh my... {laughs a little.} Oops!
{scene fades out. PLZ R&R!}