Harry Potter and the twin jokers
Chapter one, an interesting conflict
"Well, well, well, it looks like I have two Weaslys on my hands." Voldemort sneered. "For the sake of politeness I will ask your names. So, what are your names?"
"Well, this is brother Forge, and I'm Gred." Said one of the Weaslys.
"But you can call us Fred and George Weasly." The other said. "Or you can call us both the prank brothers."
Voldemort stared at the two Weasly twins through narrowed eyes. He then started laughing a cruel, evil laugh which made Fred and George start laughing as well.
"Silence!" Voldemort screamed. "No one laughs unless I say so!" Fred and George stopped laughing and shot each other a 'this is going to be fun' smirk.
"Ok then, my name is 'I' and he's 'My'" Fred grinned. "So I say, laugh" And together Fred and George started laughing their heads off and even Voldemort cracked a smile.
"I have an idea, you two will work for me and I will spare your lives." Voldemort said. "You two will be my jokers."
Fred and George looked at each other and said: "Naahh"
Voldemort's face turned red with anger. "You dare refuse my generous offer?"
"Yes" Fred and George said in unison.
"Hey Voldy can we interest you in some ton-tongue-toffees?" George asked suddenly.
"Yes they are very exquisite. Simply give one to a person you don't like and their tongues will grow to become the size of an over sized anaconda" Fred said.
"You can buy one bag and get another free for one galleon." George said. "Just look at what some of our testers have to say!" George pulled out a few pictures of some people with over sized tongues hanging out of their mouths. Including a picture of Dudley Dursley on the floor with his tongue hanging out and aunt Petunia trying to yank it out of the whal... Uh, I mean Dudley's mouth.
Voldemort stared at the pictures for a minute. Then two minutes. Then three. After another minute or so the dark lord began to laugh. And it wasn't his normal evil laugh. It was a 'that's hilarious!' laugh.
"You two made these?" he asked finally.
"Well yeah." Fred shrugged.
"You think we just stole them? Well let me tell you, we're not THAT sort of prank masters." George said.
"You two really made these?" Voldemort said.
"Yep"
"What else have you made?"
"Well let's see, there's the electro-gravy, and believe me, that stuff is fun. All you have to do is eat it and WHAM you become a walking lumos spell," Fred said.
"Yeah, and then there's the kitty cups, those make whoever drinks out of them cough up hairballs for about ten minutes. And the multi flavored gum can sometimes bring out, shall we say, the last thing you ate." George counted off his fingers.
"One of our more interesting projects is the instant swamp, now THERE'S something that you can have fun with. Oh yeah and the wet book. Open it and you get a shower before you even get out of the library."
"My personal favorite is the canary creams. Have someone eat one and bingo! Instant canary!"
"And we have even more than that!" And together the Weasly twins started listing all of their prank items. And if the stupid writer would get off his rump, he might just list some of them.
No thanks narrator that I invented. I think I'll just leave at that. But of course, I won't end the story.
Come on, list them!
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No and if you don't shut up I'll delete you! Then I might just go to 'rent a narrator' and rent someone else.
Ooo, I'm quivering in my shoes.
You don't have shoes!
I might if you pay me!
I don't need to pay you. You said three years ago 'I'll work for free from now on.'
I don't remember that.
I do.
Who cares about you?
Family, friends, pets.
So what?
I'm going to rip you apart if you don't shut up.
I'm inside the computer so you can't get to me. Unless you want to tear it apart that is.
Well that's extremely tempting you little ferret face!
You've been reading too much Harry Potter mate.
Who's the one speaking in a British accent?
Me! I'm British!
No you're not, you're not even alive!
*punch* Yes I am!
*Punches back* No you're not!
*Kicks head* Am so!
*Breaks nose* No you're not!
*Punches using brass knuckles* You've seen the Terminator!
That's a freaking movie!
So what? It could happen!
Fat chance.
*Trips*
*Sigh* I'll be back. *Rips off narrator's ears.*
End of chapter, tune in next time for next chapter. ________________________________________________________________________
Chapter one, an interesting conflict
"Well, well, well, it looks like I have two Weaslys on my hands." Voldemort sneered. "For the sake of politeness I will ask your names. So, what are your names?"
"Well, this is brother Forge, and I'm Gred." Said one of the Weaslys.
"But you can call us Fred and George Weasly." The other said. "Or you can call us both the prank brothers."
Voldemort stared at the two Weasly twins through narrowed eyes. He then started laughing a cruel, evil laugh which made Fred and George start laughing as well.
"Silence!" Voldemort screamed. "No one laughs unless I say so!" Fred and George stopped laughing and shot each other a 'this is going to be fun' smirk.
"Ok then, my name is 'I' and he's 'My'" Fred grinned. "So I say, laugh" And together Fred and George started laughing their heads off and even Voldemort cracked a smile.
"I have an idea, you two will work for me and I will spare your lives." Voldemort said. "You two will be my jokers."
Fred and George looked at each other and said: "Naahh"
Voldemort's face turned red with anger. "You dare refuse my generous offer?"
"Yes" Fred and George said in unison.
"Hey Voldy can we interest you in some ton-tongue-toffees?" George asked suddenly.
"Yes they are very exquisite. Simply give one to a person you don't like and their tongues will grow to become the size of an over sized anaconda" Fred said.
"You can buy one bag and get another free for one galleon." George said. "Just look at what some of our testers have to say!" George pulled out a few pictures of some people with over sized tongues hanging out of their mouths. Including a picture of Dudley Dursley on the floor with his tongue hanging out and aunt Petunia trying to yank it out of the whal... Uh, I mean Dudley's mouth.
Voldemort stared at the pictures for a minute. Then two minutes. Then three. After another minute or so the dark lord began to laugh. And it wasn't his normal evil laugh. It was a 'that's hilarious!' laugh.
"You two made these?" he asked finally.
"Well yeah." Fred shrugged.
"You think we just stole them? Well let me tell you, we're not THAT sort of prank masters." George said.
"You two really made these?" Voldemort said.
"Yep"
"What else have you made?"
"Well let's see, there's the electro-gravy, and believe me, that stuff is fun. All you have to do is eat it and WHAM you become a walking lumos spell," Fred said.
"Yeah, and then there's the kitty cups, those make whoever drinks out of them cough up hairballs for about ten minutes. And the multi flavored gum can sometimes bring out, shall we say, the last thing you ate." George counted off his fingers.
"One of our more interesting projects is the instant swamp, now THERE'S something that you can have fun with. Oh yeah and the wet book. Open it and you get a shower before you even get out of the library."
"My personal favorite is the canary creams. Have someone eat one and bingo! Instant canary!"
"And we have even more than that!" And together the Weasly twins started listing all of their prank items. And if the stupid writer would get off his rump, he might just list some of them.
No thanks narrator that I invented. I think I'll just leave at that. But of course, I won't end the story.
Come on, list them!
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No and if you don't shut up I'll delete you! Then I might just go to 'rent a narrator' and rent someone else.
Ooo, I'm quivering in my shoes.
You don't have shoes!
I might if you pay me!
I don't need to pay you. You said three years ago 'I'll work for free from now on.'
I don't remember that.
I do.
Who cares about you?
Family, friends, pets.
So what?
I'm going to rip you apart if you don't shut up.
I'm inside the computer so you can't get to me. Unless you want to tear it apart that is.
Well that's extremely tempting you little ferret face!
You've been reading too much Harry Potter mate.
Who's the one speaking in a British accent?
Me! I'm British!
No you're not, you're not even alive!
*punch* Yes I am!
*Punches back* No you're not!
*Kicks head* Am so!
*Breaks nose* No you're not!
*Punches using brass knuckles* You've seen the Terminator!
That's a freaking movie!
So what? It could happen!
Fat chance.
*Trips*
*Sigh* I'll be back. *Rips off narrator's ears.*
End of chapter, tune in next time for next chapter. ________________________________________________________________________