Culnac's Logs
(Don't worry, in the second season, the Goa'uld will show up and Voyager
will find out about a new symbiote species, the Tok'ra!)
The 37's-
Tom Paris-
I loved that truck, except for the fact that it kinda smelled. Well, at least one of the Earth-wide questions was answered; Amelia Earhart was abducted by aliens. Now, who would've figured that? Oh, wait the people that said she was abducted by aliens. Oh well!
Elogium-
Tom-
Personally, I'm offended by Kes not picking me to be her mate. I mean, what does that Talaxian have that I don't?
Culnac-
Whiskers.
Jack-
Spots.
Tameth-
Uh. a mohawk? (Does that count? Tameth whispered to Jack.)
Jack-
Sure, why not? Oh, Kes!
Tom-
Gee, thanks guys I feel so much better. (sarcasm)
Non Sequitur-
Tom-
For some reason Harry said, 'I owe you one.' What he owes me, I have no clue.
Tameth-
Whatever it is, since he owes ya, you should get his rations.
Culnac-
You should find out what it is, then get him to do the same thing for you.
Jack-
Tell him to get you pizza and beer. You know how much we love beer.
All, except for Tom-
Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!
Tom-
Alright, I'll ask for beer! God, I haven't seen you guys so uptight about beer before!
Tameth-
Hey, I haven't had one in 50 years. I deserve at least one beer.
Jack-
I haven't had one in over 200 years, how do you think I feel?
Culnac-
I've had every beer each one of you guys took, I like Tameth's time better, though.
Twisted-
Tom-
Wow. That was the first time I told anyone that I was scared. I mean, I knew Harry was scared, but, me? It's me, Tom Paris, the guy that is never afraid, let alone tells people about my feelings.
Culnac-
You were just doing it to comfort him, you really weren't.
Parturition-
Tom-
Okay, first of all, I like spaghetti, but not in my hair and on my uniform. I mean, Neelix can really get angry when it comes to Kes. Second, please tell me there is something worse than going to the Bridge, let alone the Captain's Ready Room with spaghetti on you and in your hair.
Tameth-
Maybe she thought you were cute looking like that. Now you can get more intimate with the captain.
All, except Tameth-
NO!
Culnac-
Would ya stop it with the captain stuff, geez, I wouldn't want to walk-in on one of your fantasies.
Tameth-
All I'm doing in there is killing Cardassians, especially Dukat, so don't worry. But thanks for the idea, I'll try it out!
Jack-
Great, now I'll have to listen to him all night. Thank you very much.
Culnac-
Sorry, Jack.
Tom-
I'm never going to listen to anymore of Tameth's disturbing fantasies about the Captain again.
The 37's-
Tom Paris-
I loved that truck, except for the fact that it kinda smelled. Well, at least one of the Earth-wide questions was answered; Amelia Earhart was abducted by aliens. Now, who would've figured that? Oh, wait the people that said she was abducted by aliens. Oh well!
Elogium-
Tom-
Personally, I'm offended by Kes not picking me to be her mate. I mean, what does that Talaxian have that I don't?
Culnac-
Whiskers.
Jack-
Spots.
Tameth-
Uh. a mohawk? (Does that count? Tameth whispered to Jack.)
Jack-
Sure, why not? Oh, Kes!
Tom-
Gee, thanks guys I feel so much better. (sarcasm)
Non Sequitur-
Tom-
For some reason Harry said, 'I owe you one.' What he owes me, I have no clue.
Tameth-
Whatever it is, since he owes ya, you should get his rations.
Culnac-
You should find out what it is, then get him to do the same thing for you.
Jack-
Tell him to get you pizza and beer. You know how much we love beer.
All, except for Tom-
Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!
Tom-
Alright, I'll ask for beer! God, I haven't seen you guys so uptight about beer before!
Tameth-
Hey, I haven't had one in 50 years. I deserve at least one beer.
Jack-
I haven't had one in over 200 years, how do you think I feel?
Culnac-
I've had every beer each one of you guys took, I like Tameth's time better, though.
Twisted-
Tom-
Wow. That was the first time I told anyone that I was scared. I mean, I knew Harry was scared, but, me? It's me, Tom Paris, the guy that is never afraid, let alone tells people about my feelings.
Culnac-
You were just doing it to comfort him, you really weren't.
Parturition-
Tom-
Okay, first of all, I like spaghetti, but not in my hair and on my uniform. I mean, Neelix can really get angry when it comes to Kes. Second, please tell me there is something worse than going to the Bridge, let alone the Captain's Ready Room with spaghetti on you and in your hair.
Tameth-
Maybe she thought you were cute looking like that. Now you can get more intimate with the captain.
All, except Tameth-
NO!
Culnac-
Would ya stop it with the captain stuff, geez, I wouldn't want to walk-in on one of your fantasies.
Tameth-
All I'm doing in there is killing Cardassians, especially Dukat, so don't worry. But thanks for the idea, I'll try it out!
Jack-
Great, now I'll have to listen to him all night. Thank you very much.
Culnac-
Sorry, Jack.
Tom-
I'm never going to listen to anymore of Tameth's disturbing fantasies about the Captain again.