Disclaimers: I don't own anything except my own imagination which isn't much.
Author's note 2004/04/18: This is my first OTH fic and even though I relate a lot to Brooke and hear her speak in my head, I couldn't write about One Tree Hill until the episode "Spirit In The Night". I've start writing it right after the episode and left it on the side, I finished it then another episode aired and I adapted to that new episode. This is a Lucas and Brooke story but with more emphasis on Brooke. Feel free to wound my ego by telling me it completely sucks but please tell me why at the same time. I hope you enjoy this. Special thanks to Mai-ahn for Betaing the chapter
The misunderstandings of a cheerleader captain
Chapter 1: Looking at our own reflection in the mirror
Brooke Davis wipes away the tears from her eyes as she gets out of her bed. Walking to the bathroom, she splashes water over her burning eyes to take the pain of crying for too long away. Looking to her own reflection in the mirror, she realises that her eyes are bloodshot and that if she doesn't get a grip on herself, everybody in school will know that she spent the night crying. As she feels the tears coming back to her, she smashes her fist on the counter, wishing her parents would miraculously appear at home to comfort her. While going back to her room she murmurs, "Even if they would be here, they wouldn't do anything. It's not as if they ever cared."
Inside her room, she sees the ripped picture on her desk lying right beside her beauty products and newly acquired trophy. Taking her first and only trophy in her hands, she climbs back in her bed, taking along the way her blank pad of paper and a pencil with her that was resting on her nightstand. She lights up the lamps beside her bed and observes the blank sheet of paper, wondering what to do with it remembering that she heard somewhere that writing can help freeing one's frustrations. As the pencil approaches the paper, she has no idea what she wants to write but the words just flows out of her hand.
I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to do this; I never took time to write anything except what I had to write an assignment. Am I supposed to write "Dear Journal" or in this case "Dear piece of paper" or do as I usually do and simply say "Hey paper, guess what?"
I've never been a good writer, always thinking that writing is a loss of time when so many fun things can be achieved in life. I don't know when I changed so much, I used to be that fun girl that was always in for parties and one night stand. I never wanted anything deep in my life. Maybe that's because of the way I've been raised, in a big house with two parents who never cared about my whereabouts but left me gold credit cards to pay for whatever I needed. Maybe that's why I felt close to Peyton in the first place. She was also alone since her mother died and her father decided to be on the road to work to be able to give her everything she needed. But the real difference between me and Peyton is that she always had her drawing and that she talked with her father every once in a while.
It's weird because I used to think that I didn't care about anything, that my beauty was my only asset. Because of that, any guy who was mildly attractive was able to get me in bed. What an idiot I've been. I'm the captain of the cheerleading squad. I spend my time cheering and because of that, nobody thinks I can be hurt. Everybody thinks I'm superficial and let's be honest, a little air head. But I'm not. I listen to people, I observe them, I may not have the greatest grades but I know how to think. It's not my fault if I don't like to read but it doesn't mean that I can't. It's not my fault that I'm not interested in art and it doesn't mean I have no taste.
How did it happen that I finally fell for a guy, I won't say that I was in love with him but it could've gone to that. I just wanted to have a chance to feel it. Now that I won my first trophy, there's no one to celebrate with me. I'm all alone because the only person I really trusted betrayed me and stole my boyfriend away. I know she's not with him anymore but they are still friends so who can say what they are hiding when no one's around. I guess that what hurts the most is that I had to find out on a computer screen while the entire school probably also saw it.
During the previous weekend, I've been able to forget about everything and have Peyton help me win the trophy. I should have celebrated with her but instead I saw them together and even though they were apart, they were talking and the loneliness came back. We are not a team anymore. I'm all alone as always. Even Haley has a piece of that trophy because if she hadn't helped, I'm not sure I would have won it. She worked so hard to learn the moves that come easily to all the girls in the squad and for that she deserves to be called by her name and not just a teasing name. And Mouth, this practically invisible guy to most of the school but mostly to the popular crowd, helped me more than he can ever imagine. He showed me how shallow my world really was. All I had to do was ask for his help and he gave it to me without asking for anything in return because he just loves the cheers. If he hadn't spied for me on the other cheerleaders, I would've never changed the whole routine and never won the trophy so thanks, LIPS. He also doesn't deserve to be called by the ugly nicknames I can come up with. It's not because he has huge lips that he deserves to be called LIPS. I guess that I realise that I should've asked him to come and celebrate with me, and he would have come and he deserved to have open recognition to that trophy. Sometimes, when you judge someone on the first appearance yo-
The rest of Brooke's words are lost as her eyes closes to bring her in a different world, pencil still in her hand and the light still on. But for the first time since her break-up with Lucas, she has a peaceful night.
It's late afternoon on Saturday and Brooke looks at the calendar on more time. Grabbing her purse with her in a hurry to leave for the "Boy Toy Auction", she vows to herself to go back to her old self and have fun for one last evening before having to face reality for real.
Ending up with Mouth for her supposedly big night, Brooke decides to bring him out anyway, feeling guilty for not celebrating with him the previous week. Changing her plans slightly knowing that this sweet lips boy don't expect anything from her in return. She decides to show him the life of the popular crowd. As she learns more about Mouth, learning that he's still pure, not having even touched or seen a real woman's breast, she pays for two lap dances, one for Mouth and one for herself. "Weird, I think he's the only person that could have a lap dance beside me without thinking I am crazy. I'm not even sure he knows I'm having the same treatment he is. Most of the other kids would start rumours that I changed sides when I'm sure he knows I'm only doing it for him."
While dancing in the club with Mouth, she sees a good looking boy smiling at her. Going to him, she kisses him before any words are exchanged. As she asks for his name she hears his response, "You don't remember the last time we did this; you were pretty wasted. Your name is Brooke right? So Brooke, are we going to do this again or what?"
Brooke walks away not saying a word, walking slowly toward the exit until Mouth joins her, "Brooke, are you ok?"
"I need to go home."
Inside the limousine, Brooke's mind is running wild while Mouth looks out the window wondering what to say to this usually cheerful girl. "I slept with that guy? I don't even remember him! How many other guys I don't remember are standing in the shadows? Congratulations, Brooke! That was a nice way to forget about all of your problems. What if I'm… What if I got a disease on those wild nights? What if I'm really…"
"Brooke, did something happen?"
Brooke fights the threatening tears and nods to Mouth, inviting the distraction to her distress and the small comfort he can provide.
As the limo passed in front of the park, Brooke sees a single form sitting on the bench beside the play yard. She softly asks the driver to stop and walk over to Lucas. "I need to talk to you."
Lucas raises his eyes to look at Brooke with questioning eyes, "Ok."
Brooke's usual smile tries to come out but is holding up as she explains, "I spent the entire night trying to avoid this or ignore it. But I can't, so I'm just going to say it."
Lucas, still sitting on the table gets slowly worry as he asks, "Brooke, what's up?"
Fighting the distressful tears coming to her eyes, Brooke takes a deep breath and whispers, "I think I'm pregnant!"
As panic clouds Lucas' eyes, Brooke walks back over to the limousine, only here, "How can that have happened?"
Author Notes 2: Be warned, the
rest of the story might diverge from the show.
Feedback always appreciated.
Siaram