Culnac's Logs
Tom-
I've never slept on a Goa'uld bed before and if I have anything to do with it, I never will again. It feels like a Cardassian one, but worse, I think that it's made of stone.
Jack-
They probably still have their heads in our stone age past. Just, get on with the story and less complaining this time.
Tom-
Fine, fine, I'll get back to the story. Hathor's two guards she said to follow me were like the old Goa'uld Jaffa, wearing those damn metal or steel things they wore back in Jack's time, only they didn't talk, at all. If I went near a restricted area, they mould just move in front of the door that led to it and pushed me towards something else. All in all, nothing on the damn flying pyramid was different.
Jack-
Leave it up to the Goa'uld to never change. They say they're superior, but they're still using those pyramids, for how long now? Uh...
Culnac-
Your friend Daniel would give you a specific time, or some excuse for why he doesn't know, but I and I'm sure all you guys will agree with me, that it's been a long time. Let's just leave it at that. Tom, did you bring that injection thing?
Tom-
Injection? It was in the shuttle. Oh well, I won't live for as long as Tameth, no big deal.
Culnac-
You idiot! In one month you'll die because even though it helps the Tok'ra live longer, it's highly addictive and when you get hooked on it, you keep taking it or you'll die! A horrible, slow, and very painful death!
Jack-
Now, hold on. What injection?
Culnac-
You never learned that to keep the host alive for long amounts of time, like Tameth, need a hypospray to the neck containing this formula that some Tok'ra put in the Starfleet computer database. I don't think anyone has found out about it yet, but it's risky, but in Tom's place, he needs the replicated stuff, being so far away from home and all. We get hooked on it immediately and have to use it once every three days. We've made it so that doctors can't detect it, just like they can't detect the Tok'ra symbiotes. If we don't get it within three days, we'll go through withdraw symptoms and then after one month the host will eventually die.
Jack-
And Starfleet or the Federation doesn't know about it? Then how did Tom get it when he was in jail?
Culnac-
Ever heard of Section 31? It's a rouge group produced a long time ago and half of the agents are Tok'ra. One of Tom's lunch people was a Tok'ra. Once we find out that a Tok'ra is in jail we send an agent in to give them the serum. We undermine the whole Federation and Starfleet. It's just the people and most of Starfleet don't know who we are and they think we're one of them.
Jack-
Hey, now if you Tok'ra ever told me you had this kind of evilness I would've liked you a whole lot better.
Culnac-
It's not evilness, its efficiency.
Jack-
Whatever. Just admit it; you guys have an evil side. A way cool one too!
Tom-
It's all Janeway's fault I don't have the serum! She blew up the shuttle.
Tameth-
Don't blame your idiotic ness on Janeway!
Tom (to Jack)-
Is idiotic ness even a word?
Jack-
I don't know he probably made it up.
Tameth-
You were the one that forgot to put it in your pocket when you were transported!
Tom-
Hey! I had no clue that I was going to be saved. Let alone be saved by a Goa'uld that everyone hates! I thought Janeway might beam me up as soon as the shields were down, but nooooo. She says, "Blow him up, Tuvok!" I'm the victim here!
Tameth-
Yeah, right. You know if you just told them in the beginning that you were a Tok'ra, you wouldn't be here, now would you?
Tom-
Hey! I seem to recall the last time you told that Bajoran Dabo girl. Last I recall, she died, she was struck with an energy burst, she wasn't anywhere near a console when she died. And do you know who killed her? You're wrong, the Asguard killed her. They were gonna take the Culnac symbiote away from you and give it to someone else, but you had to come up with that stupid virus that plays music non-stop on all the Asguard ships. You're just lucky they didn't track you down and kill you!
Culnac-
What makes you think Tameth being captured by Dukat was an accident? What makes you think that him dying because of Dukat was a mistake? What makes you think that you finding him were an accident? What makes you think that he transferring the symbiote into you wasn't planned?
Tameth-
You mean that the Asguard made me go through a Bajoran labor camp under Cardassian rule on purpose? All for just making music play throughout their ships? Just so I could escape, be assassinated by Dukat, and then transfer the Tok'ra symbiote to Tom here? What's wrong with them?!?!?!? Kill me just to get a new host?!?! That's just screwed up! Why did they make me suffer in that damned place?
Culnac-
Tom wasn't even planning to go anywhere near they found you when you were captured. They had to wait.
Jack-
Was I part of their plan? Let me die and get old Earth info. Was that part of it?
Culnac-
I'm not sure, but probably.
Tom-
So we're all part of some elaborate plan for the next host? Then that host becomes a plan for the next one and so on.
Culnac-
Yep.
Tameth-
This is all messed up! I'm not a plan!
Culnac-
You're a plan, admit it. If you don't, then Tom has to get back to the story.
Tameth-
I won't admit it.
Culnac-
Fine then, Tom get on with the story!
Tom-
I've never slept on a Goa'uld bed before and if I have anything to do with it, I never will again. It feels like a Cardassian one, but worse, I think that it's made of stone.
Jack-
They probably still have their heads in our stone age past. Just, get on with the story and less complaining this time.
Tom-
Fine, fine, I'll get back to the story. Hathor's two guards she said to follow me were like the old Goa'uld Jaffa, wearing those damn metal or steel things they wore back in Jack's time, only they didn't talk, at all. If I went near a restricted area, they mould just move in front of the door that led to it and pushed me towards something else. All in all, nothing on the damn flying pyramid was different.
Jack-
Leave it up to the Goa'uld to never change. They say they're superior, but they're still using those pyramids, for how long now? Uh...
Culnac-
Your friend Daniel would give you a specific time, or some excuse for why he doesn't know, but I and I'm sure all you guys will agree with me, that it's been a long time. Let's just leave it at that. Tom, did you bring that injection thing?
Tom-
Injection? It was in the shuttle. Oh well, I won't live for as long as Tameth, no big deal.
Culnac-
You idiot! In one month you'll die because even though it helps the Tok'ra live longer, it's highly addictive and when you get hooked on it, you keep taking it or you'll die! A horrible, slow, and very painful death!
Jack-
Now, hold on. What injection?
Culnac-
You never learned that to keep the host alive for long amounts of time, like Tameth, need a hypospray to the neck containing this formula that some Tok'ra put in the Starfleet computer database. I don't think anyone has found out about it yet, but it's risky, but in Tom's place, he needs the replicated stuff, being so far away from home and all. We get hooked on it immediately and have to use it once every three days. We've made it so that doctors can't detect it, just like they can't detect the Tok'ra symbiotes. If we don't get it within three days, we'll go through withdraw symptoms and then after one month the host will eventually die.
Jack-
And Starfleet or the Federation doesn't know about it? Then how did Tom get it when he was in jail?
Culnac-
Ever heard of Section 31? It's a rouge group produced a long time ago and half of the agents are Tok'ra. One of Tom's lunch people was a Tok'ra. Once we find out that a Tok'ra is in jail we send an agent in to give them the serum. We undermine the whole Federation and Starfleet. It's just the people and most of Starfleet don't know who we are and they think we're one of them.
Jack-
Hey, now if you Tok'ra ever told me you had this kind of evilness I would've liked you a whole lot better.
Culnac-
It's not evilness, its efficiency.
Jack-
Whatever. Just admit it; you guys have an evil side. A way cool one too!
Tom-
It's all Janeway's fault I don't have the serum! She blew up the shuttle.
Tameth-
Don't blame your idiotic ness on Janeway!
Tom (to Jack)-
Is idiotic ness even a word?
Jack-
I don't know he probably made it up.
Tameth-
You were the one that forgot to put it in your pocket when you were transported!
Tom-
Hey! I had no clue that I was going to be saved. Let alone be saved by a Goa'uld that everyone hates! I thought Janeway might beam me up as soon as the shields were down, but nooooo. She says, "Blow him up, Tuvok!" I'm the victim here!
Tameth-
Yeah, right. You know if you just told them in the beginning that you were a Tok'ra, you wouldn't be here, now would you?
Tom-
Hey! I seem to recall the last time you told that Bajoran Dabo girl. Last I recall, she died, she was struck with an energy burst, she wasn't anywhere near a console when she died. And do you know who killed her? You're wrong, the Asguard killed her. They were gonna take the Culnac symbiote away from you and give it to someone else, but you had to come up with that stupid virus that plays music non-stop on all the Asguard ships. You're just lucky they didn't track you down and kill you!
Culnac-
What makes you think Tameth being captured by Dukat was an accident? What makes you think that him dying because of Dukat was a mistake? What makes you think that you finding him were an accident? What makes you think that he transferring the symbiote into you wasn't planned?
Tameth-
You mean that the Asguard made me go through a Bajoran labor camp under Cardassian rule on purpose? All for just making music play throughout their ships? Just so I could escape, be assassinated by Dukat, and then transfer the Tok'ra symbiote to Tom here? What's wrong with them?!?!?!? Kill me just to get a new host?!?! That's just screwed up! Why did they make me suffer in that damned place?
Culnac-
Tom wasn't even planning to go anywhere near they found you when you were captured. They had to wait.
Jack-
Was I part of their plan? Let me die and get old Earth info. Was that part of it?
Culnac-
I'm not sure, but probably.
Tom-
So we're all part of some elaborate plan for the next host? Then that host becomes a plan for the next one and so on.
Culnac-
Yep.
Tameth-
This is all messed up! I'm not a plan!
Culnac-
You're a plan, admit it. If you don't, then Tom has to get back to the story.
Tameth-
I won't admit it.
Culnac-
Fine then, Tom get on with the story!