Chapter Three
Wes and Gunn sat in the lobby of the hotel. They waited for the phone to ring, bringing them another case, or Angel had a vision. Gunn flipped channels on the TV idly. Wes did paperwork. A night in was rare.
"She's been up there a long time. Think she's okay?" Gunn asked Wes.
"Why don't you go on up there and see Gunn. If I wanted to get my head bitten off I'd look for a Walkash demon, much less painful." Wes said as he flipped through his books.
"You don't think he-hurt her?" Gunn asked casting a glance up at the room the vampire was kept in.
"I was speaking of getting my head bit off by a certain Slayer, not the vampire." Wes said.
"She's awfully tiny. You're sure about this slayer thing?" Gunn asked.
"Quite. I was her watcher for a time being. She would take us both down with out breaking a sweat." Wes said.
"Maybe you, English, but I ain't getting my ass handed to me by a girl." Gunn smirked.
"Then please feel free to go upstairs and interrupt." Wes said.
For all the things I've done
Let you down, I just apologize
Buffy took a deep breath and yawned a little. She opened her eyes, not realizing she'd drifted off. She was surprised to see that Angel had moved a little closer to her. He was sniffing the air. He leaned against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"No, no. She's not here, not here. She's gone, gone, angel in the sky. My fault wasn't there to catch her. Promised to catch her when she fell, didn't though, my fault. She's gone, not here, not here, Buffy, Buffy, so sorry, didn't catch you, sorry, sorry, sorry Buffy." Angel rocks back and forth, tears streaking down his cheeks.
"Angel, I'm here. I'm right here." Buffy crawled across the floor to him. She tentatively reached a hand out to touch his arm. He didn't shy away from it.
He shook his head. "Gotta tell Wes, vision. Gotta tell Wes."
Buffy jumped when Angel started screaming for Wes. She heard the locks in the door being undone quickly. Wes threw the door open and a square of bright light fell into the room.
"Vision?" Wes asked. He walked closer to Angel and crouched down.
"Buffy, Buffy here, Buffy alive, don't know how. Help her, gotta help her. Didn't catch her when she fell. Gotta help her." Angel rambled.
Wes smiled faintly and turned his attention to Buffy. "He thinks you're a vision."
Buffy reached out and grabbed Angel's hand. She placed it on her chest, over her heart. "Angel, I'm here. I'm not a vision. This is real. I'm right here." Tears streamed down her face.
He shook his head. "Can't be real, can't be real. Vision Buffy vision. Didn't hurt her, Wes?" Angel turned to look at Wes. His eyes were filled with fear and pain.
"No, Angel, you didn't hurt her. This isn't a memory or a vision. Buffy's here, she's alive."
Angel shook his head again. "No, not here, not real. Dreamed this, not real, can't be real. "He begin to bang his head against the wall. Buffy caught his head.
"Wes, stop him! He's going to hurt himself." She said, trying to keep her voice level so she wouldn't scare him worse.
"I can tranquilize him, that's it. There's nothing else to do for Angel when he gets like this." Wes said.
"No, I don't want you to do that yet. Angel, listen to me. I'm here, this is real. Focus, you can smell me, feel me." Buffy said.
"He smells and feels in the visions too. "Wes tried to explain.
"Buffy fell; no wings yet, couldn't fly. My fault should have caught her. Buffy fell, sorry, sorry." Angel muttered. He drew up even further into himself, tucking his head down to his knees.
Buffy sighed. "What do I do now, Wes?" She looked at the English man helplessly.
"Let him rest. It's a lot to absorb maybe if it sinks in a little he'll realize that it's not a vision." Wes suggested.
Buffy nodded and stood up. "What happened? How did he get like this?"
"Let's go downstairs. I'll make some tea." Wes suggested.
"No, I'm not leaving him." Buffy said.
"Buffy, he won't even notice you're gone. He doesn't even realize you're here now." Wes said.
"On some level he does other wise he wouldn't be talking about me. Oh! Wait get me on of his shirts." Buffy said.
Wes looked at her oddly but complied. He returned shortly with a long sleeved charcoal gray sweater.
"Wes, turn your back." Buffy said.
He did. She stripped off her shirt and slid Angel's sweater on. She walked over to Angel and put her shirt in his hands. "Hold on to that. Its proof, I'm here. I'm real and I'll be back in just a little while." She very lightly kissed him on the forehead.
She followed Wes out of the room and downstairs. They walked into the kitchen. Wes put the kettle on to boil water.
"How did he get like this? Doyle was half human and the visions didn't do this to him." Buffy said. She sat down at the small table there. Wes sat in the chair across from her.
"I don't think Doyle had the visions for very long to begin with. And Angel is a special case. Even before he got the visions he was tormented by all the things Angelus had done. The curse won't let him ever forget those things. Quite frankly, I'm surprised he didn't go insane from those memories alone. Add in the visions, and you can't blame his mind for caving in. He gets visions and memories messed up. Night before last he sent us to save a woman he'd killed almost 200 years ago. It's not the first time it's happened. A few weeks ago he wanted us to go to Sunnydale, to save Jenny." Wes said.
Buffy buried her face in her hands. "How do I fix this?" She said.
"I don't think there is a way to fix this, Buffy. I've exhausted all my resources. This is the way Angel will be for the rest of his life." Wes said.
"No, I don't accept that." Buffy said.
"I'm afraid you're going to have to. Maybe you can bring him around to more lucid moments, but that's the best we can hope for." Wes took the boiling water off the stove and poured it into a tea pot. He arranged things on the tea tray while they waited for it to brew.
"Does he ever have these 'lucid' moments now?" Buffy asked.
"Not really anymore. He's semi lucid when he tells us about his visions. He knows that when he has one he has to call me or Gunn. Sometimes when he tells us about the visions it's jumbled, not always in the correct order, other times he makes sense, in his own way." Wes said.
"So he recognizes you. He knows who you are." Buffy said.
"In a way, he associates me with the visions. He only remembers me when he has a vision. There's no recognition when I take blood into him. He doesn't even remember his own name." Wes says.
"He remembers me." Buffy says very quietly.
"Yes, he remembers you."
Wes and Gunn sat in the lobby of the hotel. They waited for the phone to ring, bringing them another case, or Angel had a vision. Gunn flipped channels on the TV idly. Wes did paperwork. A night in was rare.
"She's been up there a long time. Think she's okay?" Gunn asked Wes.
"Why don't you go on up there and see Gunn. If I wanted to get my head bitten off I'd look for a Walkash demon, much less painful." Wes said as he flipped through his books.
"You don't think he-hurt her?" Gunn asked casting a glance up at the room the vampire was kept in.
"I was speaking of getting my head bit off by a certain Slayer, not the vampire." Wes said.
"She's awfully tiny. You're sure about this slayer thing?" Gunn asked.
"Quite. I was her watcher for a time being. She would take us both down with out breaking a sweat." Wes said.
"Maybe you, English, but I ain't getting my ass handed to me by a girl." Gunn smirked.
"Then please feel free to go upstairs and interrupt." Wes said.
For all the things I've done
Let you down, I just apologize
Buffy took a deep breath and yawned a little. She opened her eyes, not realizing she'd drifted off. She was surprised to see that Angel had moved a little closer to her. He was sniffing the air. He leaned against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"No, no. She's not here, not here. She's gone, gone, angel in the sky. My fault wasn't there to catch her. Promised to catch her when she fell, didn't though, my fault. She's gone, not here, not here, Buffy, Buffy, so sorry, didn't catch you, sorry, sorry, sorry Buffy." Angel rocks back and forth, tears streaking down his cheeks.
"Angel, I'm here. I'm right here." Buffy crawled across the floor to him. She tentatively reached a hand out to touch his arm. He didn't shy away from it.
He shook his head. "Gotta tell Wes, vision. Gotta tell Wes."
Buffy jumped when Angel started screaming for Wes. She heard the locks in the door being undone quickly. Wes threw the door open and a square of bright light fell into the room.
"Vision?" Wes asked. He walked closer to Angel and crouched down.
"Buffy, Buffy here, Buffy alive, don't know how. Help her, gotta help her. Didn't catch her when she fell. Gotta help her." Angel rambled.
Wes smiled faintly and turned his attention to Buffy. "He thinks you're a vision."
Buffy reached out and grabbed Angel's hand. She placed it on her chest, over her heart. "Angel, I'm here. I'm not a vision. This is real. I'm right here." Tears streamed down her face.
He shook his head. "Can't be real, can't be real. Vision Buffy vision. Didn't hurt her, Wes?" Angel turned to look at Wes. His eyes were filled with fear and pain.
"No, Angel, you didn't hurt her. This isn't a memory or a vision. Buffy's here, she's alive."
Angel shook his head again. "No, not here, not real. Dreamed this, not real, can't be real. "He begin to bang his head against the wall. Buffy caught his head.
"Wes, stop him! He's going to hurt himself." She said, trying to keep her voice level so she wouldn't scare him worse.
"I can tranquilize him, that's it. There's nothing else to do for Angel when he gets like this." Wes said.
"No, I don't want you to do that yet. Angel, listen to me. I'm here, this is real. Focus, you can smell me, feel me." Buffy said.
"He smells and feels in the visions too. "Wes tried to explain.
"Buffy fell; no wings yet, couldn't fly. My fault should have caught her. Buffy fell, sorry, sorry." Angel muttered. He drew up even further into himself, tucking his head down to his knees.
Buffy sighed. "What do I do now, Wes?" She looked at the English man helplessly.
"Let him rest. It's a lot to absorb maybe if it sinks in a little he'll realize that it's not a vision." Wes suggested.
Buffy nodded and stood up. "What happened? How did he get like this?"
"Let's go downstairs. I'll make some tea." Wes suggested.
"No, I'm not leaving him." Buffy said.
"Buffy, he won't even notice you're gone. He doesn't even realize you're here now." Wes said.
"On some level he does other wise he wouldn't be talking about me. Oh! Wait get me on of his shirts." Buffy said.
Wes looked at her oddly but complied. He returned shortly with a long sleeved charcoal gray sweater.
"Wes, turn your back." Buffy said.
He did. She stripped off her shirt and slid Angel's sweater on. She walked over to Angel and put her shirt in his hands. "Hold on to that. Its proof, I'm here. I'm real and I'll be back in just a little while." She very lightly kissed him on the forehead.
She followed Wes out of the room and downstairs. They walked into the kitchen. Wes put the kettle on to boil water.
"How did he get like this? Doyle was half human and the visions didn't do this to him." Buffy said. She sat down at the small table there. Wes sat in the chair across from her.
"I don't think Doyle had the visions for very long to begin with. And Angel is a special case. Even before he got the visions he was tormented by all the things Angelus had done. The curse won't let him ever forget those things. Quite frankly, I'm surprised he didn't go insane from those memories alone. Add in the visions, and you can't blame his mind for caving in. He gets visions and memories messed up. Night before last he sent us to save a woman he'd killed almost 200 years ago. It's not the first time it's happened. A few weeks ago he wanted us to go to Sunnydale, to save Jenny." Wes said.
Buffy buried her face in her hands. "How do I fix this?" She said.
"I don't think there is a way to fix this, Buffy. I've exhausted all my resources. This is the way Angel will be for the rest of his life." Wes said.
"No, I don't accept that." Buffy said.
"I'm afraid you're going to have to. Maybe you can bring him around to more lucid moments, but that's the best we can hope for." Wes took the boiling water off the stove and poured it into a tea pot. He arranged things on the tea tray while they waited for it to brew.
"Does he ever have these 'lucid' moments now?" Buffy asked.
"Not really anymore. He's semi lucid when he tells us about his visions. He knows that when he has one he has to call me or Gunn. Sometimes when he tells us about the visions it's jumbled, not always in the correct order, other times he makes sense, in his own way." Wes said.
"So he recognizes you. He knows who you are." Buffy said.
"In a way, he associates me with the visions. He only remembers me when he has a vision. There's no recognition when I take blood into him. He doesn't even remember his own name." Wes says.
"He remembers me." Buffy says very quietly.
"Yes, he remembers you."