Chap 4: Waking Up to the Truth
First cracking one eye open, then the other, Buffy surveyed her surroundings. Okay, so I am in my room, fully clothed, on my bed. What was the last thing that...Oh.= AOh shit.@ Buffy cursed as she remembered the last thing that did happen. AShit shit shit shit shit!@ And I had just gotten that car detailed. Crap.= Standing up, she noticed that standing was not the best choice she could have made. Her head almost exploded with the force of the headache that decided to follow her movement. Oh...ow!= Plopping back down on her bed, she held her head until she felt as though she could lift it without blacking out. As she did raise her head, she noticed that there was a glass of water and two ibuprofen pills on her dresser. Quickly swallowing the tablets, she dowsed the rest of the glass and put it back on the stand. When her head was clear enough to start thinking again, Buffy switched almost immediately to her slayer mode. How did I get here after that crash? Who put the pills next to my bed? And who knew where I lived?= Too many questions poured themselves into her head. Closing her eyes and swallowing, she did a half shake to put those questions aside. Must find out if someone else is still here. Must move.= Opening her eyes back up, she walked over to her door. Turning to check out her living room first, she went down the hall. If her head was hurting, she didn=t feel it. She didn=t feel anything. After turning the corner for her living room, she had lost everything: thought, feeling, taste, breath; everything but sight. The sight of Spike on her couch. He=s dead...no, he can=t be, not if he=s here. But he died...= Buffy=s head was battling with itself. Nothing made sense. He died in Sunnydale. He had to. Tears suddenly swelled up her vision and poured themselves out of her eyes. Maybe this isn=t him. Maybe someone is playing some sick ass joke and it=s really a demon. Yes! That=s it! It has to be a demon!= Wiping away her tears as well as her emotions and every thought she had of Spike, she picked the bat sitting in the corner. Don=t touch, just poke.= Gently she gingered over to where the thing slept. Keeping more than an arm=s length away from the demon, she took the edge of the bat and poked at its arm. Mumbling something about donuts and frogs, the Spike-thing flipped onto its back. Okay, more force...need more force.= Preparing herself for a fight once the beast woke up, Buffy raised her arms and brought the bat down with a loud thwack on its chest.
Pain exploded in his chest. Opening his eyes, all he could see was red. AOW! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!?@ He sounds like Spike, he looks a lot like Spike. Spike=s dead Buffy, This is NOT Spike.= Raising the bat again, Buffy tilted her chin with courage she didn=t think she had. AWhat are you? Who are you? Who are you working for? I will kick you ass if you try to touch me so just stay right there freak.@ Freak? Did she just call him a freak? ABuffy, put down the bat, it=s me. It=s Spike.@ He tried to reach for the bat while clutching his chest. She jumped out of his range of touch and tightened her grip. ASpike=s dead. I don=t know who the hell you are, but whatever it is, you=re sick. Who do you work for? The Powers? Jurod? Look sir, thing, whatever you are, I haven=t reviewed your case yet, so back off.@ Adrenaline was pumping in her blood, but she didn=t fight, not until this thing made the first move. She had hit a wizard who had looked like Giles before, and he just had the disguise on for protection. No one had bothered to tell her and it had scared the jeebies outta her. After she had flipped out on him, he had needed more than protection. Slayers Inc. had to pay for the damages. ANo love, Buffy, it=s me. Did you get amnesia during the crash? Can=t you tell who I am?@ Couldn=t she tell it was him? What was wrong with her? Like a ton of bricks, it hit him. She thinks you=re dead mate. She doesn=t think it=s you!= AAll I know is that you are not Spike and I am close to beating the stuffing out of you if you don=t tell me who the hell you are!@ Close to hysteria now, she twisted her hands on the bat. Seeing this Spike thing was more than she could bear and she didn=t think she could take it any more. ABuffy, it=s me. Listen, Angel got a hold of the amulet after I died= and Angel Investigations brought me back. It=s me, I swear. Ask me something that only I would know.@ She couldn=t talk. If it really was Spike, why didn=t he call her? Why didn=t Angel call her? Didn=t he love her back in California? Swallowing the lump in her throat, she just stared at him, not sure what to ask or do. ALook, um, when I got that chip in my head, you had to feed me blood in a mug in Giles=s bathtub. And when we first met, I messed up your doily thingies when I crashed through the school window. I always called Dawn, your sister who was really a key to a porthole, Niblit. I told you one night that you made me feel like a man, not a monster. Buffy, can=t you tell that it=s really me?@ Her arms turned limp against her sides. The bat that she had been praying onto dropped useless against her sides. She looked him over: his bleached blond hair that had been slicked back, but now was curly from sleeping on the couch; the sleek hollow of his cheeks; the pursed fullness of his lips; a black tee shirt that covered his chest, yet was tight in the shoulders to show muscle; jeans that covered his long, muscular legs; and DocMarten boots that covered his feet. Raising tear brimmed eyes back to his, she tentatively raised a hand. She wasn=t sure if he would be real or not, but she needed to feel his body under her hand. A cracked sob escaped her lips as she felt just how real he was. It was really him. It was really Spike. Raising her face up to his, she looked him in the eyes, and let the tears spill over. Why didn=t he call her, see her? Why didn=t someone tell her? Had anyone else known of this? How did they get him back? Was he really all here? Was he still a vampire? Where did he go when he died? Did he still know that she loved him as much, maybe more, then she did when he died?= Dropping her hand to her side, she turned her face away from his. AWhere have you been?@ She asked in a low whisper. Trying hard to not cry himself, he dropped his head to his chest and closed his eyes. AWith Angel Investigations. They, um, they work with Wolfrom now, so I=ve had all expenses paid while working with the gang. Buffy I am so sorry I didn=t contact you, I just...@ Slicing her hand up in the air, she turned her head back to face him. AI don=t want to deal with that right now. I=m not sure what to think or do for that matter, but I do know that to see you again hurts. What hurts even more is that I have been silently suffering all this time, dying inside because I haven=t been able to get over you, and you don=t even care.@ The tears that she had been holding back spilled over. She couldn=t take it anymore. She just couldn=t. It was too much to see him now and to be able to be with him. All of her new life came crashing down along with her strong demeanor. His heart broke as he saw her crumble to the floor with the sobs that were racking her body. He sank down to his knees in front of her, unable to touch, for fear of being rejected. ABuffy, I...@ His hands hovered over her body, not sure whether to take the risk or not. Seeing her like this hurt him more than he could have even imagined. It hurt even more to know that he was the one causing it when all he wanted to do was take it away. Standing up, she quickly ran to her room, locking herself inside and sinking to the floor. Her heart was torn, broken, stomped on and forgotten. Heart wrenching sobs carried from her mouth to Spike=s ears, back in the living room. He sat back on his feet, putting his head in his hands. He didn=t know what to do. Should he stay, wait for her to come out, and have her tell him that she didn=t want to see him after all he put her through? Or should he go, leave her in this empty, endless mess, and have her just forget about him? No, you did that before and see where it got you.= Gathering what sense he had left, he stood up and went in front of her bedroom door. He knew better than to knock, so he sat back down and waited.
First cracking one eye open, then the other, Buffy surveyed her surroundings. Okay, so I am in my room, fully clothed, on my bed. What was the last thing that...Oh.= AOh shit.@ Buffy cursed as she remembered the last thing that did happen. AShit shit shit shit shit!@ And I had just gotten that car detailed. Crap.= Standing up, she noticed that standing was not the best choice she could have made. Her head almost exploded with the force of the headache that decided to follow her movement. Oh...ow!= Plopping back down on her bed, she held her head until she felt as though she could lift it without blacking out. As she did raise her head, she noticed that there was a glass of water and two ibuprofen pills on her dresser. Quickly swallowing the tablets, she dowsed the rest of the glass and put it back on the stand. When her head was clear enough to start thinking again, Buffy switched almost immediately to her slayer mode. How did I get here after that crash? Who put the pills next to my bed? And who knew where I lived?= Too many questions poured themselves into her head. Closing her eyes and swallowing, she did a half shake to put those questions aside. Must find out if someone else is still here. Must move.= Opening her eyes back up, she walked over to her door. Turning to check out her living room first, she went down the hall. If her head was hurting, she didn=t feel it. She didn=t feel anything. After turning the corner for her living room, she had lost everything: thought, feeling, taste, breath; everything but sight. The sight of Spike on her couch. He=s dead...no, he can=t be, not if he=s here. But he died...= Buffy=s head was battling with itself. Nothing made sense. He died in Sunnydale. He had to. Tears suddenly swelled up her vision and poured themselves out of her eyes. Maybe this isn=t him. Maybe someone is playing some sick ass joke and it=s really a demon. Yes! That=s it! It has to be a demon!= Wiping away her tears as well as her emotions and every thought she had of Spike, she picked the bat sitting in the corner. Don=t touch, just poke.= Gently she gingered over to where the thing slept. Keeping more than an arm=s length away from the demon, she took the edge of the bat and poked at its arm. Mumbling something about donuts and frogs, the Spike-thing flipped onto its back. Okay, more force...need more force.= Preparing herself for a fight once the beast woke up, Buffy raised her arms and brought the bat down with a loud thwack on its chest.
Pain exploded in his chest. Opening his eyes, all he could see was red. AOW! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!?@ He sounds like Spike, he looks a lot like Spike. Spike=s dead Buffy, This is NOT Spike.= Raising the bat again, Buffy tilted her chin with courage she didn=t think she had. AWhat are you? Who are you? Who are you working for? I will kick you ass if you try to touch me so just stay right there freak.@ Freak? Did she just call him a freak? ABuffy, put down the bat, it=s me. It=s Spike.@ He tried to reach for the bat while clutching his chest. She jumped out of his range of touch and tightened her grip. ASpike=s dead. I don=t know who the hell you are, but whatever it is, you=re sick. Who do you work for? The Powers? Jurod? Look sir, thing, whatever you are, I haven=t reviewed your case yet, so back off.@ Adrenaline was pumping in her blood, but she didn=t fight, not until this thing made the first move. She had hit a wizard who had looked like Giles before, and he just had the disguise on for protection. No one had bothered to tell her and it had scared the jeebies outta her. After she had flipped out on him, he had needed more than protection. Slayers Inc. had to pay for the damages. ANo love, Buffy, it=s me. Did you get amnesia during the crash? Can=t you tell who I am?@ Couldn=t she tell it was him? What was wrong with her? Like a ton of bricks, it hit him. She thinks you=re dead mate. She doesn=t think it=s you!= AAll I know is that you are not Spike and I am close to beating the stuffing out of you if you don=t tell me who the hell you are!@ Close to hysteria now, she twisted her hands on the bat. Seeing this Spike thing was more than she could bear and she didn=t think she could take it any more. ABuffy, it=s me. Listen, Angel got a hold of the amulet after I died= and Angel Investigations brought me back. It=s me, I swear. Ask me something that only I would know.@ She couldn=t talk. If it really was Spike, why didn=t he call her? Why didn=t Angel call her? Didn=t he love her back in California? Swallowing the lump in her throat, she just stared at him, not sure what to ask or do. ALook, um, when I got that chip in my head, you had to feed me blood in a mug in Giles=s bathtub. And when we first met, I messed up your doily thingies when I crashed through the school window. I always called Dawn, your sister who was really a key to a porthole, Niblit. I told you one night that you made me feel like a man, not a monster. Buffy, can=t you tell that it=s really me?@ Her arms turned limp against her sides. The bat that she had been praying onto dropped useless against her sides. She looked him over: his bleached blond hair that had been slicked back, but now was curly from sleeping on the couch; the sleek hollow of his cheeks; the pursed fullness of his lips; a black tee shirt that covered his chest, yet was tight in the shoulders to show muscle; jeans that covered his long, muscular legs; and DocMarten boots that covered his feet. Raising tear brimmed eyes back to his, she tentatively raised a hand. She wasn=t sure if he would be real or not, but she needed to feel his body under her hand. A cracked sob escaped her lips as she felt just how real he was. It was really him. It was really Spike. Raising her face up to his, she looked him in the eyes, and let the tears spill over. Why didn=t he call her, see her? Why didn=t someone tell her? Had anyone else known of this? How did they get him back? Was he really all here? Was he still a vampire? Where did he go when he died? Did he still know that she loved him as much, maybe more, then she did when he died?= Dropping her hand to her side, she turned her face away from his. AWhere have you been?@ She asked in a low whisper. Trying hard to not cry himself, he dropped his head to his chest and closed his eyes. AWith Angel Investigations. They, um, they work with Wolfrom now, so I=ve had all expenses paid while working with the gang. Buffy I am so sorry I didn=t contact you, I just...@ Slicing her hand up in the air, she turned her head back to face him. AI don=t want to deal with that right now. I=m not sure what to think or do for that matter, but I do know that to see you again hurts. What hurts even more is that I have been silently suffering all this time, dying inside because I haven=t been able to get over you, and you don=t even care.@ The tears that she had been holding back spilled over. She couldn=t take it anymore. She just couldn=t. It was too much to see him now and to be able to be with him. All of her new life came crashing down along with her strong demeanor. His heart broke as he saw her crumble to the floor with the sobs that were racking her body. He sank down to his knees in front of her, unable to touch, for fear of being rejected. ABuffy, I...@ His hands hovered over her body, not sure whether to take the risk or not. Seeing her like this hurt him more than he could have even imagined. It hurt even more to know that he was the one causing it when all he wanted to do was take it away. Standing up, she quickly ran to her room, locking herself inside and sinking to the floor. Her heart was torn, broken, stomped on and forgotten. Heart wrenching sobs carried from her mouth to Spike=s ears, back in the living room. He sat back on his feet, putting his head in his hands. He didn=t know what to do. Should he stay, wait for her to come out, and have her tell him that she didn=t want to see him after all he put her through? Or should he go, leave her in this empty, endless mess, and have her just forget about him? No, you did that before and see where it got you.= Gathering what sense he had left, he stood up and went in front of her bedroom door. He knew better than to knock, so he sat back down and waited.