~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I tapped my foot anxiously, worrying that they'd gone and gotten into trouble. I was desperately hoping that none of the worst case scenarios that had been fluttering around in my mind the whole day had indeed not come to pass. I was about to screech with anxiety when I heard someone pick up the phone and heard Vash's gasp. I was now fully relieved.

*He would be the one to answer the phone. Excellent. I thank thee for that gunman's early study of earth history.*

"Vash? You sound out of breath... what happened? Did he do something??" I asked, imagining two or more of the worst possible scenarios.

"No! Everything's fine! Did you want to talk to him?" Vash laughed a little nervously.

I didn't like the sound of that nervous laughter, but I decided to let it be. I'd question the wizard instead. At least he feared me. I'd be able to get places on that fear. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you, Vash."

I heard a bit of silence and then Vash saying. "Uh... here." I heard Vash say, obviously handing the phone to the addled wizard.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gilderoy grinned happily as he took the phone. Delightful! He was finally going to prove his worth and use the tellyphone! He holds it to his ear, the wrong end up but then sheepishly remembered it was the other way around. "Hello?" He asked.

"Gilderoy, I just wanted to call and make sure things are all right." He heard Stephie's voice and at her pause, he suddenly pictured her frowning. "They ARE all right, yes?" She asked with a steely edge to her voice.

He laughed, just a little nervously, aware that he and Vash had knocked over two or more of her chairs to get at the tellyphone. "Yes, everything's fine! Will you be home soon? Are you done with school? Or was it work?" He asked almost in one breath, not sure which was which on her schedule.

She snickered a little bit. "Gilderoy, breathe... enough with the twenty questions. Yes, I'll be home soon. I am indeed done with classes but I've a bit of work to do." She told him. Gilderoy frowned just barely. He wished she would just come home. He missed her. The house was so different without her in it. " Oh... all right."

There was a moment of silence and then suddenly Stephie gasped. "Aiya! I've got to run! Shift starts in five minutes. I'll talk to you later, Gilderoy. Do keep out of trouble." She said in a rush. Gilderoy smiled just barely at her chide. "Yes, of course. Good day." He said goodbye and clicked a button and then another because it hadn't hung up properly and then another before he actually got it. He glanced over in time to see Vash smirk a tiny bit while trying to stifle a laugh, having observed his trouble with the tellyphone.

Quite aware that he'd fueled Vash's amusement, he calmly and composedly sets the tellyphone back. "Laugh if you will, but I am learning more than I ever thought I would about muggle living." Gilderoy quipped nonchalantly. Vash grabbed a bag of something from the kitchen and sat on the sofa. "Why do you keep calling them 'muggles'?" Vash asked curiously, offering the opened bag that turned out to be full of chocolate chip cookies.

Gilderoy took a cookie. "Oh... that is our term for non-wizarding folk. Like we have the term for witch and wizard and squib." He explained as he nibbled on the cookie. It really was quite delicious. Vash munched thoughtfully. "Wizard.... wizard... OH! They're those people that use that stuff...." He seemed to think a moment. "MAGIC! That's right! Rem used to tell us... er... oh yeah! Fairy tales about people like them." He grinned. Gilderoy nearly choked on his cookie. "We're not just fairy tales! We're real just as muggles are." He said a bit huffily, peeved a bit at the idea of his kind being just fairy tales. Imagine! Vash waved hands in a calming manner. "Hey now... I didn't mean anything by it! I just haven't heard of any of you being real!" He explained. "I mean, I wouldn't get all upset if you said you'd never heard of me before!" He chuckled a little at that. "But the thing is I don't know what you are so I can't say if I've heard of you or not." Gilderoy tilted his head at Vash.

Vash shook his head. "It's not what I am... It's who I am. 'Vash the Stampede... wanted dead or alive for the murder of Count Lebenon Vasquez, guilty of class G property damage... blah blah blah... 60 billion double dollar bounty. It's kinda depressing to list it all." He remarked casually once again, as if he's just been naming things to get for the week. It confounded Gilderoy. He looked at him thoroughly confused. "B-but..."

Vash glanced at him wonderingly. "B-but that doesn't make sense... why would they think you did all that?" Gilderoy asked, looking earnestly at Vash and believing that Vash was a victim of a misunderstanding. Vash sighed deeply, apparently composing his thoughts. "Becasue I was there when it happened... every single time..." He finally said in an almost defeated voice. "I see..." Gilderoy nodded, now understanding. He glanced at Vash and thinks he is another person to be seen in a new light. "So that's why you said everyone was out to get you where you came from?" Gilderoy asked, remembering the comment from earlier.

"Yeah... funny thing is... most of them don't even believe it's me! They've never believe a strange guy like me could be the terrible 'Vash the Stampede'... I guess they just can't picture a scrawny guy like me blowing up a town..." He laughed a little. Even if he was laughing, Gilderoy had enough sense left to note the slight sadness behind it. "I can't imagine it either..." Gilderoy grinned just slightly, trying to inject a little levity.

Vash held a serious look for a split second, glancing out the window or off to the side. "I could if I wanted to..." He said, and then closed his eyes. Gilderoy felt a chill go up his spine for a moment, imagining the tall blond man beside him doing such a thing. "But she wouldn't like that." Vash added softly. "She? You mean Rem?" Gilderoy inquired, trying not to pry. "Yup." Vash grinned. Gilderoy smiled. "I see."

"So what about you?" Vash asked slightly mischievously. Gilderoy blinked. "What about me what?" He asked confused. Vash's grin widened a bit. "Hey.. I'm not going to be the only one telling stories here." He remarked, looking expectant. "Stories... b-but..." Gilderoy sputtered, not keen on telling his own story now that he'd read it and saw what a git he's always been. Vash laughed. "Geez! You'd think YOU were the wanted outlaw here from the way you're acting!" He quipped, apparently thinking that Gilderoy was being a little over the top. Gilderoy looked down sheepishly. "Well... I'm no wanted outlaw... but my own story is not tea and cakes..."

Laughing again, Vash tried once more to lighten the mood a bit. "Look pal, unless you've got an entire planet full of people who want to kill you, I really don't think there's anything you could do worse than something I've already done." He gave a friendly grin.

Gilderoy sighed. "Well... I... er that is to say... I'm a fraud. Completely egocentric really. I took credit for others work and modified their memories so they wouldn't contradict me... I er... well... I'm a complete sham." He explained, fully wishing he could melt through the floor at the moment. "Everyone detests me because of it and my egocentricity and cowardice nearly lead to the death of three students." He finished,thinking of Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

No wonder Stephie had been so wary of him. Gilderoy looked down. "That's why I was in St. Mungo's... my own charm backfired on me and I lost my memory, and I still haven't gotten it all back... just bits and peices from reading Stephie's books and all." He sighed a bit sadly, fully ashamed.

Blinking, Vash studied him quizzically for a moment, before he shrugged. "You made mistakes. So does everyone else, and at least those students you mentioned are all still alive... as long as you realize your mistake and learn from it, there's no reason why you can't become a better person now." Vash told him."Besides... this world is made of... Love and Peace!" He grinned and did a pose that Gilderoy could only assume was a trademark pose. Gilderoy laughed inspite of himself. "So you don't despise me for all that? You don't think less of me?"

"Do you think less of me because I'm a wanted man?" Vash shook his head. He gave a look to Gilderoy, as if that would spell out everything. "Well you're guiltless, you never did any of those things. I however and guilty of all my mistakes and it's not the same." Gilderoy reminded him, sitting back and forgoing eating anymore cookies from the bag that Vash had in his hand.

"You don't get it do you? I'm not guiltless either. Just because I haven't done EVERYTHING I'm wanted for doesn't mean I haven't done SOME of it. Yeah, it was an accident... but all the same, I'm not guilt-free either. But does that make me seem like a horrible person to you?" Sighing, Vash fell back on the sofa clearly exasperated. "Well no..." Gilderoy looked down but then glanced up sharply again with a cheeky grin, "though you have an instant plus because you were never egocentric."

Vash turned then and shot him a glance. "Then why do you expect me to think less of you?" Vash laughed and went on to say, "You really shouldn't put yourself down like that! It's not healthy!"

"It's ironic really... puffing oneself up so much is unhealthy and putting oneself down so much is unhealthy. I'm sure there's a balance there somewhere." Gilderoy noted playfully.

"Of course there is! And it's called Love and Peace!" Vash grinned widely. Gilderoy suppressed a laugh. "Love and Peace, eh?" The poor addled wizard, quirked his eyebrow at that. "Yes! Love and Peace! It's right up there with donuts!" Vash declared, his eyes bright. Gilderoy shook his head, amused. "Whatever you say, Vash."

As fate would have it, a ringing pierced the air. It was the tellyphone! Vash heared the phone ring, jumped up, then sat back down again with a slight frown.

Oblivious to this fact, as he intends to get at the phone first and learn how to use it, Gilderoy leapt up and ran to the phone. He picked it up and pressed a button... and then another... and then finally the right button. "Hello??" He asked into the phone, this time holding it the right way up.

"Hello? Lockhart? That you?" Liz asked and muttered something else a little quietly.

"Yes, it's me! I learned to answer the phone!" He gushed a little, very giddy at the fact that he'd managed to get it right. It's only too bad that Stephie hadn't called again. He wanted to show how her how much he learned. "I suppose you'll be calling for Vash though?" He asked Liz.

Liz laughed at that. "Oh... I'm so proud." Why was she laughing so much, Gilderoy wondered. It wasn't that funny. He's learning! Indignant but hiding it, Gilderoy held the phone away from himself and out to Vash. "It's for you, Vash!"

Vash jumped up and practically attacked him in his excitement at getting a call. "Hello??" Vash gasped. At this point, Gilderoy went back inot the living room and sat down with the book again and began reading where he left off. Though he did manage to hear Vash's side of the conversation quite well.

"LIZ! Areyoudonewithclassesandcallingtoaskwhatkindofdonutstobring? Huh? Are you??" He asked all in one breath with the excitement of a child in a sweetshop. "Aw..." Vash said next. Really, Gilderoy wasn't eavesdropping. Can he help it that he's in the same room with Vash who happened to be on that tellyphone of Stephie's?

At this point, Vash looked over at him. "Yup. We were trading stories." He told Liz. Gilderoy smiled a bit and managed to tune out the rest of their conversation, as he had just began to read again and managed to finish the last two pages of the chapter. Though he did manage to look up in time to see Vash push the button on the phone to turn it off as if he'd done that a million times before. He couldn't help it. Gilderoy rolled his eyes.

"What?" Vash asked with an innocent expression. Gilderoy didn't buy that expression for one minute. "Nothing." He grinned in answer to Vash. Rolling his eyes too, Vash then grinned wickedly. "You know how to play cards?" Gilderoy remembered a certain game Stephie taught him in the elevator. "Just uno!" He said brightly.

~*~*~*Two hours and several games of uno later~*~*~*

"You think they're all right in there?" Liz asked me as we both walked up my front walk to the door. "I certainly hope so... else there'll be Bat Bogey Hexage." I smirked a bit. "Least I wish I could..." I added, shaking my head a bit.

*It would come in more than handy.*

Liz grinned. "Be nice, wouldn't it? Ah well... shall we?" She jerked her head in direction of the door.

I nodded and unlocked the door to let Liz enter ahead of myself. I just barely stepped inside when I saw Gilderoy leap up happily, tossing down a card. "UNO!!!!!" He cried with glee.

"What the..." Liz leaned against the door for support as she was laughing so hard. This all looked so familiar. It was an episode in the twilight zone.

*Maman! Make it go away!*

"Aiya??" I squeaked, looking upon the scene of Lockhart dancing with joy and Vash sitting down looking a bit dejected. "What in the faerying forest??" I asked with a twitchy sort of smile on my face.

Liz was still laughing hard. "Vash.... just how many times have you lost?" Vash tossed down his remaining cards. "Don't know... lost track somewhere around 30 I think..." He told her.

I grinned but tried to hide it. I was feeling so much better now that I wasn't the only one to lose to Gilderoy. "So did we have a good day?" Gilderoy asked Liz and I, a bright and cheery smile on his face. "Meh... I suppose. Glad to be home." I awarded him a smile. He really looked quite happy. It was heart warming...

*Wait... NO! Not softening. Not happening... all right... at least I won't be a fekking marshmellow about it.*

"Sure. Wonderful day." Liz shook her head, still laughing slightly. "Come on, donut boy... We'd better be going so this one can rest a bit. More school tomorrow you know."

Vash grinned and stood up. "Can we get donuts on the way back?" He asked her hopefully. "Sure... why not?" She answered and then turned to grin at me. "Tomorrow then, Stephie?" Liz asked me.

"Yes, tomorrow. Have a safe trip back! Sleep well too!" I smiled as I walked them to the door and opened it for them. "You too! bye!" She grinned as she walked out the door. Vash grinned widely. "See you tomorrow!" He said as he followed Liz out the door. "Have a lovely evening!" Gilderoy called out, still happy about winning apparently.

I laughed a little, closed the door and turned to Gilderoy. "Spaghettio's for dinner?"

He grinned.

*Did I say that I am glad to be home?*