So many women. So many lovers. As I sit here now, and try to remember a
certain one, anyone, I realize just how hard it is after 5000 years. Their
faces are fading. They're all blending together, slowly. I can spend hours
trying to remember my 60-something wives, and still forget some names or
places or events. They were "unlike any other" at the time I knew them. Now
it's hard to think of a certain one.
I can feel the love I had for them. I can, really. I know it was there, and still is. They're the only ones I can't feel now.
And it hurts. God, can it hurt sometimes. I feel like I'm betraying them every time I confuse them with someone else, even for a second. I'm betraying our love, and what we had.
I'm afraid to love because of that. Afraid that I'll one day betray my current love by forgetting them. The worst part is that some of them knew what I am. They knew that I'll live forever. They knew that there would be other women, and they were sure they'd fade over the years, and they still wanted me. They still gave all they had. They are the ones that stick out.
In the past 50 years, I've had only 1 serious love. I couldn't tell Alexa. It wouldn't be fair. It still isn't. She had less than a year, and I have forever. I'd gladly give up my immortality to spend the rest of my life as a mortal with her.
Alexa was amazing. She was denied a full life, yet she had the courage to spend what little time she had left with a stranger. Me. It's not fair. I didn't deserve someone like her.
No Immortal does.
We kill. We rape. We lie. And then someone like ...Alexa comes along. And you don't want to kill, or rape anymore. But you're forced to lie. You can't tell people who were dealt the bad hand that you got the wild card. You had as long as you could survive. You had as many chances as you wanted to "do it over". The injustice is horrible.
I can feel the love I had for them. I can, really. I know it was there, and still is. They're the only ones I can't feel now.
And it hurts. God, can it hurt sometimes. I feel like I'm betraying them every time I confuse them with someone else, even for a second. I'm betraying our love, and what we had.
I'm afraid to love because of that. Afraid that I'll one day betray my current love by forgetting them. The worst part is that some of them knew what I am. They knew that I'll live forever. They knew that there would be other women, and they were sure they'd fade over the years, and they still wanted me. They still gave all they had. They are the ones that stick out.
In the past 50 years, I've had only 1 serious love. I couldn't tell Alexa. It wouldn't be fair. It still isn't. She had less than a year, and I have forever. I'd gladly give up my immortality to spend the rest of my life as a mortal with her.
Alexa was amazing. She was denied a full life, yet she had the courage to spend what little time she had left with a stranger. Me. It's not fair. I didn't deserve someone like her.
No Immortal does.
We kill. We rape. We lie. And then someone like ...Alexa comes along. And you don't want to kill, or rape anymore. But you're forced to lie. You can't tell people who were dealt the bad hand that you got the wild card. You had as long as you could survive. You had as many chances as you wanted to "do it over". The injustice is horrible.