DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fanfiction produced for entertainment purposes only. Yu-Gi-Oh! and all related characters are the creations of Kazuki Takahashi.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 1: Bold text is for emphasis.
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: Well, here it is, the final chapter! I hope that everyone's enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it! As always, reviews will make me bounce happily for a good hour or two ^_^
DEDICATION: This is for my best friend Cheryl, for her constant friendship and for the inspiration she gives me. Also for her ability to make me both burst into laughter and scramble for pen and paper when I ask her a perfectly serious question like 'If you were Seto Kaiba, which of these poems would you choose to win a poetry contest?' ^_^
Chapter 5: The Judging
By Shadow's Mirror
"Bakura. He is here."
The soft voice caught Bakura's attention immediately. He turned towards the entrance of the Domino City Library's research area and tensed. Through the open doorway, he and Yami had a good view of the library's front door and the tall young man who had just entered the building.
"Well it's about time. We've been here for over half an hour already," Bakura grumbled.
Yami smiled slightly. "That is our fault for arriving early. Kaiba is right on time, as usual."
He raised one hand and Kaiba nodded in brief acknowledgment before turning his attention to his younger brother, Mokuba, who was walking beside him. The two exchanged a few words then Mokuba headed off towards the mystery section while Kaiba started towards the two waiting yamis, a very irritated look on his face.
"All right. I'm here. Let's get this torture over with." Kaiba scowled at Yami. "I still can't believe I let you talk me into doing this."
Yami smirked. "And I can't believe that you actually agreed."
Kaiba growled. "You have five seconds to get to it or I'm leaving."
"Very well then. As I told you on Sunday night, Bakura and I are having a poetry contest and we require a judge," Yami began.
"That's where you come in," Bakura added helpfully, earning both a glare from Kaiba and an irritated look from Yami for the interruption.
"I know all that. Just give me the blasted things so I can read them!" Kaiba held out his hand, as his other hand tapped impatiently on the nearby table. With identical sighs, the two yamis handed over the poems that they had written for each of their lights. Kaiba grimaced with distaste as he accepted them and sat down to read.
The two yamis traded a look before moving around to the other side of the table and sitting down too. They waited in tense silence for Kaiba to reach his decision regarding the winner. As he winced and muttered under his breath through first one poem and then the other, Yami and Bakura traded another glance, both wondering if this had been such a good idea after all. By the time Kaiba finally put down both pieces of paper and raised his head to eye them across the table, both yamis were extremely nervous.
Kaiba took a deep breath as he studied the two would-be poets sitting opposite him. He mentally prepared his statements for each of them and then decided whom to start with.
"Yami. I have never read such a load of sugar-coated rubbish in my entire life and I sincerely hope that I never have to do so again." As his rival's eyes widened in shock, Kaiba felt the familiar thrill that he got during a duel whenever he brought out a powerful creature and used it to take out one of his opponent's monsters. Maybe this judging thing wasn't so bad after all.
"Not only were each of these individual items of ridicule all poorly thought out, but they followed the correct format for that kind of poem so loosely that they could barely be considered to be that kind of poem at all! Overall, they seemed to be more a collection of random thoughts set out in sets of three lines than a cohesive poem. There was certainly none of the imagery associated with true haiku. This isn't a poem. It's a lesson in how not to write a haiku! As for the subject matter…" Kaiba shuddered with disgust. "You spend almost all of the poem saying things that everyone who knows about your existence already knows, then you end it with something so sickeningly obvious that I can't believe you and Yugi haven't already worked it out. Are you two honestly that dense? To think this was written by the same duelist who defeated me in Battle City! That's enough to make me ill even without the nauseating thoughts those last three lines bring to mind." He shuddered again, grimacing at the mental images.
As Yami blinked in shock and embarrassment, Bakura couldn't keep from smirking. He'd never seen Yami so lost for words. He would have paid good money to get a tape recording of Kaiba's monologue. Perhaps Kaiba would tape it for him if he offered to play it whenever it would really embarrass Yami? The thought got to him and he couldn't help snickering out loud.
Kaiba turned to glare at Bakura. "As for you…" Bakura froze, his eyes almost as wide as his light's. Yami blinked and came out of his daze. He had a sudden feeling that he didn't want to miss what was about to happen.
"Me? What about me? Did I win?" Bakura relaxed and started to smirk again.
"Win? Do you honestly think I'd allow such a saccharine piece of fluff to earn you any sort of prize? That was the most disgusting, the most distasteful, the most revolting, the most abhorrent misuse of language it has ever been my misfortune to read! What was that supposed to be? A child's bedtime rhyme or a blatant attempt to get into your light's…" Kaiba bit off what he was about to say, grimacing as if the very thought of such a thing made him feel physically ill.
"There was no artistry, no imagery, in the words. A five year old could have done a better job of describing his feelings. You were vague, you were bland, and you were boring! For such a long poem it said absolutely nothing that was worth wading through all that emotional tripe to learn! What was the point in writing all of that just to say something that everyone already knows? As for the ending… the sooner I can rid my mind of that repulsive image the happier I'll be! What were you thinking, Bakura? If you're going to start with all that sugary hearts and flowers nonsense, I think I preferred it when you were evil! We get enough of that foolishness from Téa!"
Kaiba paused to take a breath, giving him time to study the immensely satisfying effect that his words were having on Bakura. He looked liked he'd gone into a state of deep shock. Kaiba stood up and glared at the two wide-eyed yamis. He sneered at them.
"How you thought I'd ever be willing to choose one of these repugnant pieces of idiocy to win any sort of prize is beyond my comprehension. They are both equally as devoid of any right to be called 'poetry', and as such should be removed from the world as soon as possible to avoid anyone being tormented by them further! Personally, I'd recommend burning them. Now, we're through here, so I'll be off before I get any more nauseous than I already am."
He strode to the doorway and then paused, looking back over his shoulder. "Oh, and the next time you want someone to judge something so contemptibly ridiculous, I'd suggest you ask Téa. She lives for that sort of thing." With a swirl of his jacket, he was gone, leaving behind two very stunned yamis.
Yami and Bakura sat in silence for several minutes after Kaiba left. Eventually, Yami leaned forward and picked up the two pieces of paper. He returned Bakura's poem to him and looked down at his own for a long moment.
"I didn't think my poem was that bad."
Bakura blinked and looked down at his poem, still rather dazed. "Me neither."
Yami silently held out his poem to Bakura. After a moment's hesitation, Bakura swapped his poem for Yami's. They silently read each other's poem for the first time. When they finished, they swapped back and sat in thoughtful silence for a little while before Yami spoke up.
"I thought your poem was rather good. At least it rhymed. It was longer than mine too."
"Thanks. Yours was good too. It was more… personal… than mine." Bakura frowned at that.
They turned their heads and traded a long look. Yami smiled slightly. "Yugi liked my poem."
Bakura smirked back at him, suddenly feeling more relaxed. "Ryou really liked mine." Yami arched an eyebrow and chuckled before suddenly looking thoughtful.
"I feel compelled to remind you that asking Kaiba to judge this was your idea," he pointed out.
Bakura winced at the reminder. "Yeah. But you were the one who agreed to it."
Yami nodded. "Point taken." He hesitated. "Yugi has Téa's phone number. Should we see if she's busy at the moment?"
"Nah. Let's just leave it as a draw. Our lights will be happy with that." Bakura looked thoughtful. "How about we tell them what the prize was going to be and all four of us put it together?" He smirked. "It seems a shame for our lights to miss out on a picnic just because Kaiba couldn't choose which of our poems he hated more."
Yami chuckled at that and nodded. "Good idea, Bakura. We'll do that. I'm sure that Yugi and Ryou will be happy."
Bakura smirked. "About the picnic, yes. As for what Kaiba said about our poems…" He cautiously opened his mind-link to Ryou a fraction, then quickly closed it again. "Judging by Ryou's current mood, I think we'd better warn the others to keep our lights and Kaiba separated for a week or two." He winced. " Otherwise things could get… messy."
Yami checked on Yugi's emotional state and winced as well. "Very good point. We may need to make sure that all sharp objects are kept out of their reach as well."
Bakura nodded in agreement, then sighed. "Well, I suppose we might as well go. There's no point in hanging around here anymore."
"True." Yami stood and stretched then carefully tucked his poem away in Yugi's schoolbag. He hoisted it over his shoulder and waited while Bakura did the same with his poem and Ryou's bag. They started for the front door of the library.
They were halfway there when Bakura suddenly stopped in his tracks. Yami looked back at him and then followed the direction of his gaze. He winced. Kaiba and Mokuba were heading for the front door as well. If Mokuba saw them… Sure enough, the boy spotted them and smiled. He was about to wave when Kaiba said something to him. As Mokuba frowned in confusion, Yami became aware of Bakura moving again. He hurried to catch up. "Bakura… what are you doing?"
Bakura didn't answer. He strode up to the Kaiba brothers and grinned down at Mokuba. "Hey kid. I just need a quick word with your brother."
Mokuba eyed Bakura uneasily, then looked over at Yami who tried to look as though he knew what was going on. Finally the boy nodded and moved a short distance away.
Kaiba glared at the two yamis. "I've said all that I have to say already. Any more discussion would be pointless." He started to turn away but Bakura caught his arm and leaned in, speaking softly in his ear. He spoke so quietly that Yami and Mokuba couldn't hear a word he was saying. Judging by Kaiba's reaction though, he had heard it clearly.
Kaiba jerked away from Bakura and gave him a rather stunned look as he went very pale. "That… was far more than I needed to know…" he muttered before looking over at his confused brother. "Come on Mokuba, we're going."
"You're just jealous." Bakura spoke the words softly, but with a great deal of his usual smugness. Kaiba glared at him.
"Jealous? Of that? Not likely!" He was still very pale, although he gave Bakura a scornful look that was only slightly uneasier than his usual version.
Bakura smirked. "I meant in general. I thought it was funny how you kept bringing Téa's name into the conversation."
Kaiba snarled but didn't respond. In fact, he suddenly looked rather uncomfortable, although that didn't stop him from glaring at Bakura before he stalked off with his extremely confused brother in tow.
Yami blinked and eyed Bakura warily. "What in the Shadows did you say to him?"
There was a hint of Bakura's old evil self in his chuckle. "Oh, I just told him exactly how much Ryou liked my poem last night. That's all."
Yami burst out laughing. "Bakura! How do you think Ryou will react when he finds out?"
Bakura smirked and started walking towards the door, replying over his shoulder.
"Who do you think suggested that I tell him in the first place?"