Chapter 2
Sara has run up to her room in anger towards the world and we hear a nice
little tune playing as we enter her room. There are several odd looking
stuffed animals and other odd items in her room.
Author: See, she really is weird!
People who haven't seen the movie: WHAT?!?! Why? How do odd things in
her room tell us that she is odd? STOP GIVING AWAY THE MOVIE!!!!
Author: *Cowers*
Sara is quoting the Labyrinth again very slowly, after we see very many
important items in her room we come to her staring in a mirror with a crown
that looks like it came from Burger King on her head and she is putting on
lipstick. There is a light knock on the door.
Audience member: How on earth is her hair dry already? It was POURING
outside, remember?
The audience nods their heads in confused agreement.
Father Figure: Sara? I'm here to talk to you about how you are treating
your step mother. However, I won't even mention your step mother except to
say that we are leaving and won't be home till late, and that we put your
brother Toby to bed.
Sara: Yea, uh-huh, you REALLY wanted to talk to me didn't ya? You
practically broke down the door there. Just go...I'll just give Toby away
to the goblins while you are gone. Don't worry about a thing. I hate you
by the way.
Father Figure: Quick, get to the car before she comes out!!!
Sara throws herself on the bed and gets whiplash, bouncing a few times,
before coming to a stop
Sara: OWWWWW!!!!
A baby begins crying in the background and Sara looks up towards a shelf
that was hanging on her bedroom wall. One spot is empty.
Sara: Aw, HELL no!!! Where is Lancelot? SOMEONE HAS BEEN IN MY ROOM!!!!
AGAIN!!!!!
Audience member: Jeeze, will this attitude ever go away?
Author: HEY!! No interruptions people!
Sara: Yea, you don't interrupt MY major temper tantrum OK?!?!
Audience member: Ok, alright, jeez, I'm sorry.
Sara: Ok, where was I? Someone in my room...OH, yea. I HATE THAT!!!
Sara runs out the door and into her parents bedroom where there is a baby
in a butt ugly orange and white striped outfit.
The audience begins believing that Sara really has something against this
poor crying baby as she yells at him to be quiet.
Sara: Someone save me! Someone take me away from this awful place.
Lancelot: Dude. Shut up, and stop squeezing me!
Audience member: Can you say 'Drama Queen?'
Sara: What the....uh...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear my stuffed
animal talking. You wanna hear a story Toby? I made this one up myself.
Cause I'm weird and I think there is a goblin king that looks a lot like
David Bowie in spandex pants and he's kinda creepy but I think he's really
hot! ...Cause I'm weird, and so I'm going to call on the goblins to take
you to the goblin city because the baby, that's you Toby, was being cruel
to the girl, that's me....
People who haven't seen the movie: *in utter confusion.* What is going on
here? I don't understand this at all. How does and innocent little baby
be cruel to a teenage girl?
Goblins: *roll eyes.*
There are some random goblins sleeping, but at the sound of Sara's story
they wake up.
Audience member: That made a lot of sense.
Sara: Toby, shut up. I know your a baby and you won't stop crying if I
keep yelling at you but your stupid and ugly and you won't stop crying!
I'll say the words!!!!
Toby: Shut up. You don't know the words.
Goblin 1: Hey guys! That weird girl is going to say somethin'
Goblin 2: So. She's weird. I'm goin' back to sleep.
Goblin 3: Hey, lets pop some pop corn and watch the weird girl. She's
always provided entertainment for us before!
Goblin 2: Good point. I'll get some pop.
Goblin 1: I'll get the corn.
Gillette: IDIOTS!!!
Audience: LOOK!!! It's Gillette from 'Pirates of the Caribbean!'
Author: Gillette, your in the wrong movie.
Gillette: I know, but come on. These Goblins are IDIOTS!! Everyone knows
that she is going to say 'The Words' and then what? They'll all be
comfortable and such and if they don't take the baby there will be no
movie!
People who haven't seen the movie: *Get up and leave*
Author: WAIT!! Don't leave!! I swear, I haven't told you everything,
like the talking doors and such! WAIT!!!!! *runs after people who haven't
seen the movie*
Sara: Excuse me, but I'm trying to say 'The Words' here. Do you mind?
Audience, Gillette: Sorry.
Goblin 2: Did she say the words yet?
Goblins, Audience, Gillette and Sara: SHHHHHH.
Goblin 2: Sorry.
Sara: Goblin king, goblin king, take this child far far away from me.
Goblin 4: Those aren't the words!
Goblin 3: What a bunch of rubbish. It doesn't even start with 'I wish'!!!
Sara: I sure wish I knew what to say to make the goblins take you away.
Goblin 3: I wish the goblins would take you away right now! Is that so
hard?
Audience: Didn't he say it DIDN'T start with 'I wish'??
Sara: I'm going to walk out of the room and leave you crying in your crib
now. Of course I'll also mention that I wish the goblins would take you
away right now and of course you will suddenly stop crying and of course
this is where the author will stop this chapter.
Author: *Looks around*
