Those Famous Last Words
A.N : I don't own The G-boys...any of them...dammit.
Heero's P.O.V~
Anger. It's one of the things you really can't control, no matter how hard you try to hold it in. It boils and rages inside your stomach, like a raging sea of heat and acid. It makes you scream at the epitome of your strength.
And that was the way I felt today. At the height of my rage. And the matters back at the safe house just made it worse. I had to go back that night, still seething, to my friends, and that violet-eyed boy I love so much. What caused this? Well...
It was todays mission. I had never really taken caution on these outings. If death came it came and there was nothing you could do about it. I was never scared of dying or killing. In my short life I had seen too much of both and so I got used to it. Death, it's permanent and you can't take back the one you lost. Man, I should have thought of that during my crazy hours.
I had been attacking an Oz base as usual, in a heavy prototype Taurus. I had always been merciless during these battles. There is never room for pity and sympathy for your opponent. Even though Quatre seemed to make it work.
Even though the base was destroyed and I had done what was ordered of me, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed. Those god damn Oz soldiers!
I was appalled to see those kids working like dogs on the weaponry. It was all wrong. Hell, I could see the beads of sweat forming rapidly on the children's faces, and the look of terror as the soldiers whipped them to exhaustion. The pain they displayed on there faces was just too much.
And I had killed them all. But I ask you, who makes a 10-year-old girl program a Mecha huh? Those bastards! The kids had barely lived their lives. And all it took to kill them was for a soldier like me to do his orders. Peace my ass.
I went home that night feeling like shit. My hair and body were dirty, grimy and sweaty. I smelt like a lawnmower and my clothes were slightly ripped from repairs to Wing Zero.
My spirits were unbelievably low. My temper was boiling in my body once again and I was ready to go and hurt in my room. Gloom over my acts, in a sulky way. That's what I wanted to do. But no.
The first person I saw was Duo. He pounded up to the front door if the safe house we were staying at currently and yanked the door open before I had even reached the first step. "Hey Hee-chan!" He greeted me with his cheery words and a joyful smile. "You're back!"
This was the boy who cried in his sleep, calling for help from someone who wasn't really there. Someone who was just an image imprinted on his mind, in his dream. Duo, always the optimist. And for that I loved him. Maybe I hadn't quite realized it before, and I had tried to close him off from my heart, but he managed to break in without realizing. I had convinced myself that his attitude towards me were just displays of friendship and nothing more. And so many a time I had wanted to tell him how I felt, regardless of what he felt for me, but my stoic mask just wouldn't let me.
But this night, my attitude wouldn't give him an inch. I snapped at him. "Out of my way Maxwell!" I received a look of pure hurt in his violet eyes. And it killed me inside. I wanted to hug him, and hold him tight.
Unfortunately for both of us, my external rage at OZ shot the braided boy down. If I was going to be miserable, so was everyone else in the house. I stormed up to the room a shared with Duo, hoping to burn off some steam there. Opening my laptop, I immediately set to work.
The internet was a great way to search for methods at getting back at those fucking OZ. I would have taken great pleasure in killing every single one of them, like stomping on ants along the sidewalk. To hear their petrified, blood-curdling screams as I picked them off, one by one. Die bastards, die!
When Quatre called to say dinner was ready, I lashed viciously out at him too. The poor Arab almost burst into tears at what I had said, and ran to Trowa for comfort. After every few minutes, each pilot got an end of my rage.
When I did finally proceed to dinner, no one would talk to me. Duo refused to set a glance in my direction and Wufei didn't pass me anything when I asked.
After the meal, Trowa and Quatre silently cleaned up, taking my dish away from me as if I was a delicate vase. Duo had rushed into the living room and was watching MTV while rocking back and forth in his spot on the couch. Wufei just left the house entirely.
No one dared to come near me, for fear of igniting a fuse. And at the time I was perfectly okay with it. The less pain in the ass teenagers to get in my way or to aggravate me the better. I retraced my steps back to my laptop and continued my search of the perfect murders.
I ended up with files upon files of different weapons, methods, gasses, anything I could use to inflict pain. Why had seeing and killing those underage workers affected me so deeply? All of us had pasts we'd rather leave behind... Duo and the church he visits in the night. His nightmares Trowa and his time as no-name. He knew nothing but war. Wufei. His wife died and his colony was destroyed to cinders if not less. Quatre and how he thought his family didn't love him and thought of him as just another experiment.
Me. Heero. What past did I have? Everything before I met Odin Lowe is still a blur to me.
Children are meant to be happy and care-free before "grown-up" affairs come to light and hit them hard like a rock. Kids aren't supposed to know war at 6. Are not obligated to fight at 11. Are not meant to have a scarring past like we did.
And so, every OZ deserved to die. That was my logic, and it was good enough of me. Coming across E-bay, I bid on some toxic gas, sure to make your insides melt when you inhaled.
After winning without challenge, I went back downstairs to get a snack to sustain me for the rest of the night.
As I snuck down to the kitchen door, I heard quiet voices in the large kitchen, echoing off the cheap linoleum that tiles the floor.
Duo was talking to Quatre, as nearly everyone did. The blond Arab was shy and trustworthy, and truly not very outspoken. He knew about everything that happened between us pilots, so naturally I was interested. What could Duo have to say? I leaned against the door to listen in.
"Quatre, why is he such a bastard?" Duo sobbed. "Duo, bud, Heero can't help it if he's angry-" "But he doesn't need to act like that! I saw how you looked when he snapped at YOU! Something is...god, I hate him!"
I withdrew. Quatre made a sullen reply, but I refused to listen to the remainder of the conversation. Tears wanted to force their way through to my eyes, but my perfect soldier mask kept them away.
I had had the faintest hope that Duo had feelings for me. Like I felt for him? Yes I had wanted him to like me, that was simple enough. But had I wanted him to love me? Was I mislead when it came to all his suggestive grins and backward glances? Did he really hate me? — —
— Duo's P.O.V
When Q-man told me hero was coming home from his mission that night, I surged with happiness, though I didn't quite show it on the outside. But, the apple of my eye was coming HOME! Who wouldn't be ecstatic?
I hadn't seen him for weeks and I was beyond excited. Wu-babe told me not to get in his face right away, but I didn't acknowledge it.
I had been hanging around Heero more over the past couple of months, so naturally I thought it wouldn't bug him that much. After all, the only thing I was trying to do is have enough time with the blue-eyed pilot to drop hints towards how I felt. And even though I still couldn't see through that mask of his, I had hoped he had caught on.
Apparently he hadn't.
When I saw him walking up the driveway, I ran to greet him. "Hey Hee-chan" I chimed and I put on my brightest smile.
"Out of my way Maxwell!" Was his reply. I was crushed. What the hell was his problem? What had I done wrong?
By dinner that night, everyone in the house had been yelled at by Mr. Yuy. Even the stray cat that came by occasionally for table scraps. So it surely makes a guy wonder.
I had gone up to the room we shared once or twice to hear him muttering and ranting on and on about kids and OZ members and how they were going to, and I quote, "PAY DEARLY FOR WHAT THEY HAD DONE!"
During the meal, Quatre had prepared for us, it was more dead than a graveyard, and that's saying quite a lot. You could hear a fricken feather drop. None of dared to speak, for fear of being blown up at by the human- time-bomb.
And this guy was the object of my affection?
After dinner was over, and everything had been cleaned and was spotless, I decided to talk to Q. I consulted him with every matter and considered him my best friend. Besides Heero of course. "Hey Quatre, can we talk?" I asked quietly. Quatre turned to me, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. He smiled and beckoned me to sit down. I did so.
"What's on your mind Duo-kun?" he prodded politely. "It's about Heero." "Oh" His face dawned with the realization of where this conversation was going. "Well Duo, go ahead."
"I love him." Was all I said. The Sandrock pilot nodded. "So I could see" He replied. "Well Duo, I'm happy you've found someone. But I sense that's not all you wanted to talk to me about."
I grinned meekly. "Well, yeah. Q, has he ever come to you about how he feels? Does he ever let out?" "No" He answered flatly, looking at the brownish liquid in his cup. "You know Heero, he's the only one who knows. Just like we have no idea what's gotten into him today." "It's just, I'm so confused. I don't want this to be a one sided love. Heero's not totally unreachable right?"
He didn't answer me. This was too hard for me, feelings being so new. The memory of Heero's angry face washed into my head by and invisible wave and I burst into tears. Boys aren't supposed to cry, but here I was with the waterworks.
Quatre patted my back gently.
"Q, why is he such a bastard?" I asked between salty droplets. I heard the blond Arab sigh. "Duo, Heero can't help if he's angry-" "But he doesn't need to act like that!" I protested. "I saw how you looked when he snapped at you! Something is...god I hate him!" I cried aloud.
"You love him but you hate him?" Quatre asked. I nodded weakly. "So it seems. I don't even know if he gay. He could fool anyone with the way Relena clings to him."
"Duo, go talk to him" The Arab suggested as he lightly pushed me out the door to confront Heero.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I crossed my fingers as I climbed the stairs to our room. This was my only chance, and I was GOING to make it work!
Upon arriving at the door to our room, I could hear smashing. Lots of it. Like a whole damn building was coming down right on the other side of the thin wood door.
— —
— Authors P.O.V
Duo edged to the door quietly as he possibly could, despite the creaking floor boards. Opening it meekly, the first thing he saw was his favorite CD in shattered shining pieces on the floor next to his lava lamp.
Things were tossed madly about the room in a crazed fashion. Both Heero and Duo's mattresses were on the floor also, ripped open with feathers laying limply about them.
Contents of the giant walk in closet and dresser drawers were strewn everywhere. Some of the posters that Duo had hung were ripped to shreds, others were doodled on with designed faces in black permanent marker.
A lamp was missing from one of the bedside tables and the window was broken, glass surrounding the floor around it. There were also numerous bullet holes in the walls and roof.
Had Heero gone psycho?
Duo's mouth dropped open in horror as he spotted the waste basket...smoking. The black priests outfit that Duo had come to love was scorched, flames licking the fabric greedily.
"What the hell?" he yelled, grabbing his clothes from the enflamed basket and smothered it. "Heero!" he called out, panic stricken. He stepped cautiously further into the room, wading through the mess.
He heard a shuffling behind him behind him and as Duo turned, he saw a sick looking Heero Yuy emerging from under a fallen shelf.
There were streaks on his cheeks and his bottom lip was bleeding. The brunettes blue eyes were clouded with hurt and loathing.
"Heero" Duo repeated. "What's wrong?" the braided boy stepped closer.
"Don't come near me you!" Heero growled, his voice cracking drastically. But Duo proceeded. "Hee-chan, god what did I do to deserve this?!" Duo asked frantically. "Hell, what did the rest of the guys do to you?"
Heero crossed his arms. "So you hate me huh?" "Don't the change the subject Yuy! You have serious issues if you think we all like getting that kind of shit from you! And I actually thought I liked you! But why would I have the guts to even speak to you know!" Duo was starting to get breathless. "Heero, you are turning into an impossible bastard!"
Heero glared back at the violet eyed pilot he in a minute has his gun pointed directly at Duo's stomach.
"Shut-up Duo. You think you know stuff about me, but you have no idea!" He turned his head away from his braided comrade, not now.
"I know enough! I know you have no consideration for anyone's feelings at all! You're so blind, you can't even see how I feel!" Duo's hands were clenched in anger. Why couldn't Heero understand, for just this once?
"Duo, you told Quatre you hate me. Are you trying to tell me my ears heard false?" "I WAS ANGRY DAMMIT! Do you think we like being violated for no reason? Oh yeah we're just going to take it with a shrug and continue to skip around merrily! Reality check!" Duo was on a roll and shuddered under a capacity of rage he didn't know he had. Sure he had been at gunpoint many a time before, but now it seemed there was more pressure.
Heero extended his gun further forwards. "Go to hell." He mumbled, his voice barely a whisper so only the two could hear.
Then the perfect soldier, blinded by anger, sorrow and broken love, pulled the trigger of his gun...
~*~*~*~ TBC ~*~*~*~*~
AN– Mistress Shingami (author): Ooh cliffy. I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I betcha the next one is going to be no better! o_O
Karasu: Wimp
Mistress Shingami: Don't be mean. Any hoo ha, don't hurt me. Next chapter will be up soon.
Duo: AM I GONNA DIE????!!!
Mistress Shinigami: Not telling you! _^ REVIW REVIW REVIW!
A.N : I don't own The G-boys...any of them...dammit.
Heero's P.O.V~
Anger. It's one of the things you really can't control, no matter how hard you try to hold it in. It boils and rages inside your stomach, like a raging sea of heat and acid. It makes you scream at the epitome of your strength.
And that was the way I felt today. At the height of my rage. And the matters back at the safe house just made it worse. I had to go back that night, still seething, to my friends, and that violet-eyed boy I love so much. What caused this? Well...
It was todays mission. I had never really taken caution on these outings. If death came it came and there was nothing you could do about it. I was never scared of dying or killing. In my short life I had seen too much of both and so I got used to it. Death, it's permanent and you can't take back the one you lost. Man, I should have thought of that during my crazy hours.
I had been attacking an Oz base as usual, in a heavy prototype Taurus. I had always been merciless during these battles. There is never room for pity and sympathy for your opponent. Even though Quatre seemed to make it work.
Even though the base was destroyed and I had done what was ordered of me, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed. Those god damn Oz soldiers!
I was appalled to see those kids working like dogs on the weaponry. It was all wrong. Hell, I could see the beads of sweat forming rapidly on the children's faces, and the look of terror as the soldiers whipped them to exhaustion. The pain they displayed on there faces was just too much.
And I had killed them all. But I ask you, who makes a 10-year-old girl program a Mecha huh? Those bastards! The kids had barely lived their lives. And all it took to kill them was for a soldier like me to do his orders. Peace my ass.
I went home that night feeling like shit. My hair and body were dirty, grimy and sweaty. I smelt like a lawnmower and my clothes were slightly ripped from repairs to Wing Zero.
My spirits were unbelievably low. My temper was boiling in my body once again and I was ready to go and hurt in my room. Gloom over my acts, in a sulky way. That's what I wanted to do. But no.
The first person I saw was Duo. He pounded up to the front door if the safe house we were staying at currently and yanked the door open before I had even reached the first step. "Hey Hee-chan!" He greeted me with his cheery words and a joyful smile. "You're back!"
This was the boy who cried in his sleep, calling for help from someone who wasn't really there. Someone who was just an image imprinted on his mind, in his dream. Duo, always the optimist. And for that I loved him. Maybe I hadn't quite realized it before, and I had tried to close him off from my heart, but he managed to break in without realizing. I had convinced myself that his attitude towards me were just displays of friendship and nothing more. And so many a time I had wanted to tell him how I felt, regardless of what he felt for me, but my stoic mask just wouldn't let me.
But this night, my attitude wouldn't give him an inch. I snapped at him. "Out of my way Maxwell!" I received a look of pure hurt in his violet eyes. And it killed me inside. I wanted to hug him, and hold him tight.
Unfortunately for both of us, my external rage at OZ shot the braided boy down. If I was going to be miserable, so was everyone else in the house. I stormed up to the room a shared with Duo, hoping to burn off some steam there. Opening my laptop, I immediately set to work.
The internet was a great way to search for methods at getting back at those fucking OZ. I would have taken great pleasure in killing every single one of them, like stomping on ants along the sidewalk. To hear their petrified, blood-curdling screams as I picked them off, one by one. Die bastards, die!
When Quatre called to say dinner was ready, I lashed viciously out at him too. The poor Arab almost burst into tears at what I had said, and ran to Trowa for comfort. After every few minutes, each pilot got an end of my rage.
When I did finally proceed to dinner, no one would talk to me. Duo refused to set a glance in my direction and Wufei didn't pass me anything when I asked.
After the meal, Trowa and Quatre silently cleaned up, taking my dish away from me as if I was a delicate vase. Duo had rushed into the living room and was watching MTV while rocking back and forth in his spot on the couch. Wufei just left the house entirely.
No one dared to come near me, for fear of igniting a fuse. And at the time I was perfectly okay with it. The less pain in the ass teenagers to get in my way or to aggravate me the better. I retraced my steps back to my laptop and continued my search of the perfect murders.
I ended up with files upon files of different weapons, methods, gasses, anything I could use to inflict pain. Why had seeing and killing those underage workers affected me so deeply? All of us had pasts we'd rather leave behind... Duo and the church he visits in the night. His nightmares Trowa and his time as no-name. He knew nothing but war. Wufei. His wife died and his colony was destroyed to cinders if not less. Quatre and how he thought his family didn't love him and thought of him as just another experiment.
Me. Heero. What past did I have? Everything before I met Odin Lowe is still a blur to me.
Children are meant to be happy and care-free before "grown-up" affairs come to light and hit them hard like a rock. Kids aren't supposed to know war at 6. Are not obligated to fight at 11. Are not meant to have a scarring past like we did.
And so, every OZ deserved to die. That was my logic, and it was good enough of me. Coming across E-bay, I bid on some toxic gas, sure to make your insides melt when you inhaled.
After winning without challenge, I went back downstairs to get a snack to sustain me for the rest of the night.
As I snuck down to the kitchen door, I heard quiet voices in the large kitchen, echoing off the cheap linoleum that tiles the floor.
Duo was talking to Quatre, as nearly everyone did. The blond Arab was shy and trustworthy, and truly not very outspoken. He knew about everything that happened between us pilots, so naturally I was interested. What could Duo have to say? I leaned against the door to listen in.
"Quatre, why is he such a bastard?" Duo sobbed. "Duo, bud, Heero can't help it if he's angry-" "But he doesn't need to act like that! I saw how you looked when he snapped at YOU! Something is...god, I hate him!"
I withdrew. Quatre made a sullen reply, but I refused to listen to the remainder of the conversation. Tears wanted to force their way through to my eyes, but my perfect soldier mask kept them away.
I had had the faintest hope that Duo had feelings for me. Like I felt for him? Yes I had wanted him to like me, that was simple enough. But had I wanted him to love me? Was I mislead when it came to all his suggestive grins and backward glances? Did he really hate me? — —
— Duo's P.O.V
When Q-man told me hero was coming home from his mission that night, I surged with happiness, though I didn't quite show it on the outside. But, the apple of my eye was coming HOME! Who wouldn't be ecstatic?
I hadn't seen him for weeks and I was beyond excited. Wu-babe told me not to get in his face right away, but I didn't acknowledge it.
I had been hanging around Heero more over the past couple of months, so naturally I thought it wouldn't bug him that much. After all, the only thing I was trying to do is have enough time with the blue-eyed pilot to drop hints towards how I felt. And even though I still couldn't see through that mask of his, I had hoped he had caught on.
Apparently he hadn't.
When I saw him walking up the driveway, I ran to greet him. "Hey Hee-chan" I chimed and I put on my brightest smile.
"Out of my way Maxwell!" Was his reply. I was crushed. What the hell was his problem? What had I done wrong?
By dinner that night, everyone in the house had been yelled at by Mr. Yuy. Even the stray cat that came by occasionally for table scraps. So it surely makes a guy wonder.
I had gone up to the room we shared once or twice to hear him muttering and ranting on and on about kids and OZ members and how they were going to, and I quote, "PAY DEARLY FOR WHAT THEY HAD DONE!"
During the meal, Quatre had prepared for us, it was more dead than a graveyard, and that's saying quite a lot. You could hear a fricken feather drop. None of dared to speak, for fear of being blown up at by the human- time-bomb.
And this guy was the object of my affection?
After dinner was over, and everything had been cleaned and was spotless, I decided to talk to Q. I consulted him with every matter and considered him my best friend. Besides Heero of course. "Hey Quatre, can we talk?" I asked quietly. Quatre turned to me, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. He smiled and beckoned me to sit down. I did so.
"What's on your mind Duo-kun?" he prodded politely. "It's about Heero." "Oh" His face dawned with the realization of where this conversation was going. "Well Duo, go ahead."
"I love him." Was all I said. The Sandrock pilot nodded. "So I could see" He replied. "Well Duo, I'm happy you've found someone. But I sense that's not all you wanted to talk to me about."
I grinned meekly. "Well, yeah. Q, has he ever come to you about how he feels? Does he ever let out?" "No" He answered flatly, looking at the brownish liquid in his cup. "You know Heero, he's the only one who knows. Just like we have no idea what's gotten into him today." "It's just, I'm so confused. I don't want this to be a one sided love. Heero's not totally unreachable right?"
He didn't answer me. This was too hard for me, feelings being so new. The memory of Heero's angry face washed into my head by and invisible wave and I burst into tears. Boys aren't supposed to cry, but here I was with the waterworks.
Quatre patted my back gently.
"Q, why is he such a bastard?" I asked between salty droplets. I heard the blond Arab sigh. "Duo, Heero can't help if he's angry-" "But he doesn't need to act like that!" I protested. "I saw how you looked when he snapped at you! Something is...god I hate him!" I cried aloud.
"You love him but you hate him?" Quatre asked. I nodded weakly. "So it seems. I don't even know if he gay. He could fool anyone with the way Relena clings to him."
"Duo, go talk to him" The Arab suggested as he lightly pushed me out the door to confront Heero.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I crossed my fingers as I climbed the stairs to our room. This was my only chance, and I was GOING to make it work!
Upon arriving at the door to our room, I could hear smashing. Lots of it. Like a whole damn building was coming down right on the other side of the thin wood door.
— —
— Authors P.O.V
Duo edged to the door quietly as he possibly could, despite the creaking floor boards. Opening it meekly, the first thing he saw was his favorite CD in shattered shining pieces on the floor next to his lava lamp.
Things were tossed madly about the room in a crazed fashion. Both Heero and Duo's mattresses were on the floor also, ripped open with feathers laying limply about them.
Contents of the giant walk in closet and dresser drawers were strewn everywhere. Some of the posters that Duo had hung were ripped to shreds, others were doodled on with designed faces in black permanent marker.
A lamp was missing from one of the bedside tables and the window was broken, glass surrounding the floor around it. There were also numerous bullet holes in the walls and roof.
Had Heero gone psycho?
Duo's mouth dropped open in horror as he spotted the waste basket...smoking. The black priests outfit that Duo had come to love was scorched, flames licking the fabric greedily.
"What the hell?" he yelled, grabbing his clothes from the enflamed basket and smothered it. "Heero!" he called out, panic stricken. He stepped cautiously further into the room, wading through the mess.
He heard a shuffling behind him behind him and as Duo turned, he saw a sick looking Heero Yuy emerging from under a fallen shelf.
There were streaks on his cheeks and his bottom lip was bleeding. The brunettes blue eyes were clouded with hurt and loathing.
"Heero" Duo repeated. "What's wrong?" the braided boy stepped closer.
"Don't come near me you!" Heero growled, his voice cracking drastically. But Duo proceeded. "Hee-chan, god what did I do to deserve this?!" Duo asked frantically. "Hell, what did the rest of the guys do to you?"
Heero crossed his arms. "So you hate me huh?" "Don't the change the subject Yuy! You have serious issues if you think we all like getting that kind of shit from you! And I actually thought I liked you! But why would I have the guts to even speak to you know!" Duo was starting to get breathless. "Heero, you are turning into an impossible bastard!"
Heero glared back at the violet eyed pilot he in a minute has his gun pointed directly at Duo's stomach.
"Shut-up Duo. You think you know stuff about me, but you have no idea!" He turned his head away from his braided comrade, not now.
"I know enough! I know you have no consideration for anyone's feelings at all! You're so blind, you can't even see how I feel!" Duo's hands were clenched in anger. Why couldn't Heero understand, for just this once?
"Duo, you told Quatre you hate me. Are you trying to tell me my ears heard false?" "I WAS ANGRY DAMMIT! Do you think we like being violated for no reason? Oh yeah we're just going to take it with a shrug and continue to skip around merrily! Reality check!" Duo was on a roll and shuddered under a capacity of rage he didn't know he had. Sure he had been at gunpoint many a time before, but now it seemed there was more pressure.
Heero extended his gun further forwards. "Go to hell." He mumbled, his voice barely a whisper so only the two could hear.
Then the perfect soldier, blinded by anger, sorrow and broken love, pulled the trigger of his gun...
~*~*~*~ TBC ~*~*~*~*~
AN– Mistress Shingami (author): Ooh cliffy. I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I betcha the next one is going to be no better! o_O
Karasu: Wimp
Mistress Shingami: Don't be mean. Any hoo ha, don't hurt me. Next chapter will be up soon.
Duo: AM I GONNA DIE????!!!
Mistress Shinigami: Not telling you! _^ REVIW REVIW REVIW!