*(IF YOU COME BACK)*
a/n: WHEEEEEEE~!!! 73 REVIEWS? I LOVE YA GUYS!!! MORE! MORE! ::points to purple button at bottom left corner of page and grins like a crazy banshee::
disclaimer: i don't particularly wish that HP belongs to me, but i would love it if someone gives me Draco. (",)
CHAPTER SEVEN: NUMBNESS
In the darkness of the dungeon that was Slytherin's common room, Draco sulked.
He had never known rejection before. Never. And that was a fact, not something he had to convince himself about. The girls he had gone out with; made out with-- he dumped them first, always, no exceptions-- those girls would never let go of him voluntarily, anyway.
Yet in the corridor just now, Hermione Granger had pushed him away.
Just when he had been feeling smug!
It hadn't taken much effort to fire up a kiss -- in fact he hadn't done anything at all. Just stood there waiting for her to bump into him; hugged her to show his *sympathy*. She was the one who had kissed him first, damn it, he knew she did that because she was angry at Weasel but it still didn't change the fact that she had kissed him. First.
She had been the one who had started it all-- what right had she to push him away?
Running his hand through his hair impatiently he stared at the fire blazing in the hearth. He had been so confident that Granger would respond to him-- what he hadn't expected was her pulling away. Thinking back he growled softly; damn Granger, he had his pride and she'd better show him some respect! Standing up abruptly, he kicked at the chair that stood in his way. He'd find her, make her cower under him; he was sick of acting *nice*, damn it, all he had wanted in the first place was to make her heartbroken, but since that would be hard to come by he just wanted to break her, damn it!
Storming into his dorm he wrenched open the door that led to the Prefect's common room. He was seldom here, preferring the darkness of the Slytherin dungeons, but for once he was glad that he had such an easy access to Granger. She'd better please me this time, he thought angrily, else there would be hell to pay.
*
Sighing wearily Hermione leaned back against her armchair. She seemed to be doing that a lot, lately -- sighing, crying, being furious at Ron and Stacey and, for no reason at all, throwing herself all over Malfoy.
And it was to this last detail her attention was drawn.
What had come over me? she wondered, staring blankly at the bookshelf in front of her. She couldn't, and didn't, deny the fact that she enjoyed Malfoy's touch; even though that made her feel rather guilty, somehow, and confused. She wanted to feel him, alright, but then again she winced at the thought of being near him. Mind and body are separate she supposed, logically she couldn't stand him, but her body ached for his touch. Then what about my heart?
That, well, was the ultimate question. The question she didn't really want to answer.
She had been furious at the sight of Ron and Stacey together, of course; just seeing them hand in hand made her want to break something. And, well, that kind of feeling could only be described as jealousy-- was she feeling jealous? She didn't know the answer to that one, Ha, a know-it-all not knowing an answer for once, she could even imagine Malfoy saying that to her... oh no! Why had she thought of him?
Burying her head in her hands she resisted the urge to scream out loud.
She was still in love with Ron, that was for sure. Even though he was with Stacey and not her she still cared about him... thought about him. He plagued her dreams... her fantasies... her heart... her mind. He was all she could ever think of-- one glance from him could send delightful shivers down her spine; one smile could light up her day as corny as it was. That he could do... until Malfoy.
Malfoy and his dastardly plan...
She knew why he was doing this, of course.
To torment her.
Sometimes she wondered if Malfoy's sole purpose in life was to make others' miserable. He was always out to pick on people-- course, his all-time favourites being the Wonder Trio, he had so termed them, but he enjoyed using his power over other people, too, she had seen him threaten his Slytherin juniors sometimes along the corridors. It was definitely not surprising, therefore, that he decided to make her his new game.
But for what?
To get a kick out of seeing me break? To feel triumph over my failure? To laugh at me?
Or, to charm me, into his arms, then dump me faster than I can say "I love you Malfoy?"
God, she was so damn confused.
Oh, she was definitely NOT into Malfoy. Her heart and her mind were, for once, agreeing on that fact.
But... her body seemed to have a different say.
And she hated that. Like just now, for instance. When she had been feeling so horrible after the encounter with Ron and the b*tch-from-hell, he had come along, teased her, mocked her, then kissed her. And she HAD responded, god, she had twirled her arms right round his neck and kissed him back. It was as though her body had a will of its own-- her mind and her heart had to scream no ten times before she yanked herself away from him. What was happening to her? She had always prided herself for being self-controlled, but it was as if he exuded this... charisma...? Magnetism? That made her body unable to resist him.
She should be glad, she supposed, that it was only her body. Thank God she hadn't started thinking about him in other ways... like... for example... FOR EXAMPLE ONLY!!... loving him.
Hermione sighed... stretched. Her mind was still in a jumble-- god... it was pretty late... she should be going to sleep...
A knock on the door. From the Gryffindor common room.
Turning the knob she stifled a yawn... then found that she hardly needed to do that anymore. Her eyes widening in surprise, she tried to slam the door shut but he had wedged his foot in and was refusing to budge.
*
Draco was pacing.
He was still pissed off, of course, at Granger for rejecting him. But it was rather late... what if she was already sleeping?
Well since when do you care about her beauty sleep anyway, his mind retorted snappishly.
He supposed it was true... Why should he give a damn about what Granger was doing? He was a Malfoy, after all, and she a lowly Mudblood. She should be rejoicing over the fact that he didn't make her scrub his bedroom floors.
Stepping right in front of the wooden door that had an elaborate H engraved upon it he was about to barge right in when he heard voices.
He hesitated.
*
"Ron, what are you doing here?" Hermione glanced up at her ex-boyfriend... her source of anguish these past few days. She was tired and exhausted and definitely in no mood to deal with him... but he had insisted on coming in and he was now standing stiffly in the middle of the room while she tried to make herself casually comfy.
"I... want to talk to you," he said, finally, after a few moments of awkward pause.
Hermione stared at the floor. Girl you need some guts, she told herself sternly. No matter what you CAN'T break down or forgive him, it's his fault in the first place!
"So, talk," she said abruptly.
Good girl, just the right tone.
Ron was shifting from one foot to another, his arms hanging at his sides a tad bit uncomfortably. "Just now... you blew up at Stace..."
"Stace? Oh, what a sweet name," Hermione cut in sarcastically. She had tried to keep her mouth shut but the words had just tumbled out.
Ron ignored her snide comment. "I just wanna say... it WAS your own fault you know... you SHOULD have been watching where you were going... I mean... you sure won't like it if someone walks smack into you while you were kissing your sweetheart will you? Yeah... that's my point... I dunno... I was thinking... maybe you could apologise for shouting all those rude stuff to her? I mean... she hadn't insulted you in any way had she... it's kinda unfair to treat her like that when the problem's none of her business in the first place. And..."
He trailed off; actually had the *manners* to quiver under her glare. What was he thinking of, HER fault? SHE should say sorry to THAT B*TCH? UNFAIR TREATMENT OF HER? Chuckling bitterly she shook her head and stood up slowly, strangely satisfied that he was now looking sort of scared.
"Now, look here, Ron," she smiled sweetly, "Think back about what you had just said. Wanna take back your words?" She placed her hands on his shoulders; grinned at him.
He stuttered-- and Hermione had the urge to cackle. Fighting down her sudden insane desire she narrowed her eyes angrily. "Damn you, you have no idea how hard it has been for me this two weeks, have you? Oh no, you shouldn't have, considering the amount of hollow space inside your pretty head. Let me tell you-- see me getting thinner? More gaunt? Sleep building under my eyes? Dozing off in History of Magic at least thrice? YOU are the cause of all this, you know that? My insomnia... sleepless nights... or else it's nightmares. YOU caused all these, get it? That info stored in your pathetic excuse of a brain? Well, what have you got to say?"
Hermione was numbed. Felt numbed. She had a distant feeling that she shouldn't be treating Ron this way. He was after all her first and only love and she shouldn't be so harsh. But she was beyond logic, beyond common sense, beyond anger. She felt only a slight twinge of disappointment... otherwise... she was numbed.
Ron had paled, making his freckles stand out even more. She could see him gulping, then he retorted weakly, "Well you did seem to enjoy Malfoy."
"Oh no, Ronnie-kins, wrong thing to say, definitely the wrong thing to say," she hissed. Why had he brought Malfoy up... feeling a slight jerk on her heartstrings in her heart she continued, "What's more you can't really compare yourself to Draco could you..."
Looking back Hermione had no idea what made her say all that... but she supposed she had been feeling so angry at Ron then she had done all she could to hurt him. Made him go through the torture she had gone through. Yeah, that was probably why she had said what she had said.
"You are just a poor kid, that's all... You're so damn cowardly... so damn materialistic. Well at least Draco needn't be that, need he? At least he's got the money and the power to be arrogant and jerky. Well, you, what right have you to go around dumping and insulting me when it's obvious you are way below me even though I'm just a Mudblood? And for your info... Draco's definitely a better kisser than you."
With that last conclusive statement she shoved him out of her room. He complied, probably too shocked by her mean comments, and Hermione collapsed onto her bed, drained.
Merlin, Merlin, Merlin... WHAT had she done?
*
Outside her room in the Prefect's common room, Draco Malfoy put his hand on the doorknob.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
[JaE sPeAkInG]
me... seriously i don't know how i feel about this chapter, lol. m i making hermione a tad bit too evil? I know... all the things she said to Ron... they were darn insulting... Hermione doesn't seem like tt type of gal does she? Well... i NEED her to be that on-the-spur-of-the-moment mean, though... aniwaes she's in luv and damn jealous so let's just excuse her irrational behaviour k? hehe!
Aniwae... guys i'm really happy about all your reviews... special thanks to LZ n Jel for letting me hit the 70-mark! Once again... is it too horrible... to ask for fifteen reviews? Plz? heeheeheee... aniwaes below's the review-replies!
raindrops: lol yea i'm keeping going! *_*
Cindy: wahahhahax, u hoh,wanna tell me ani ideas u haf tell over the fone!!! **active imaginiation** sia! ;)
Kerbi: hahah yea i was thinking tt part was kinda cute!
jelzz: wat chenquan me... muz support me muah :D
junz: yeayea... CHAPTER 7!! WHEEEE!
MichaelRocks: haha yea i'm on a writing spree!! erm... hermione is DEFINITELY not crazy. she's juz in luv, tt's all, and i'm sure you do irrational things when ure in luv. i mean, would u like the gal ure ex-bf dumps u for?? definitely no, right? :D
yao: she too much stress cope up muah, :D, this chapt is even worse, haha.
Pearlyn: lol~! here's the next chappie!
Draco A.K.A. Arieanna Lupin: help me say thx to her!! :D... and thx to YOU for putting me on ure fav author's!! hahaha... i'll read ure fics if i haf e time! :D
magicalferret: wahahha do u really own ferrets? that'll be SO cute! Eminem? erm... i'm not a big fan of his.. hehe.. prefer BLUE! YEA! BLUE ROX! oops... chicken grease?! lol!
`div:lol haha now she's exploding up on ron... sighs... **Poor ron**
aquamoongemini: yea~! i luv guys wif a bad streak in them too, lol, and tom felton's HOT!
Paypay: yeah~ here's the next chappie!
Nattygirl85: hahahah... thx for reviewing...
ilovedracosomuchiwannadie: LINGZI! ::makes a slitting motion against throat:: stop coming up wif lame nicks!!! (even tho tt idea was mine...)
Shanshine: LOL YEAH hERe's the nExt CHaPTER!!!! dun worri, nuthin graphic!
Right, that's it, i LOVE SARS (only in the sense that it's letting us miss sch, def not in the sense that it's killing ppl), haha, we haf 9 days without school!! and NO homework!! WHEEEE!!! i'll be writing more, i promise, but ya guys haf to keep ure side of the bargain and review too!! LOL!!
a/n: WHEEEEEEE~!!! 73 REVIEWS? I LOVE YA GUYS!!! MORE! MORE! ::points to purple button at bottom left corner of page and grins like a crazy banshee::
disclaimer: i don't particularly wish that HP belongs to me, but i would love it if someone gives me Draco. (",)
CHAPTER SEVEN: NUMBNESS
In the darkness of the dungeon that was Slytherin's common room, Draco sulked.
He had never known rejection before. Never. And that was a fact, not something he had to convince himself about. The girls he had gone out with; made out with-- he dumped them first, always, no exceptions-- those girls would never let go of him voluntarily, anyway.
Yet in the corridor just now, Hermione Granger had pushed him away.
Just when he had been feeling smug!
It hadn't taken much effort to fire up a kiss -- in fact he hadn't done anything at all. Just stood there waiting for her to bump into him; hugged her to show his *sympathy*. She was the one who had kissed him first, damn it, he knew she did that because she was angry at Weasel but it still didn't change the fact that she had kissed him. First.
She had been the one who had started it all-- what right had she to push him away?
Running his hand through his hair impatiently he stared at the fire blazing in the hearth. He had been so confident that Granger would respond to him-- what he hadn't expected was her pulling away. Thinking back he growled softly; damn Granger, he had his pride and she'd better show him some respect! Standing up abruptly, he kicked at the chair that stood in his way. He'd find her, make her cower under him; he was sick of acting *nice*, damn it, all he had wanted in the first place was to make her heartbroken, but since that would be hard to come by he just wanted to break her, damn it!
Storming into his dorm he wrenched open the door that led to the Prefect's common room. He was seldom here, preferring the darkness of the Slytherin dungeons, but for once he was glad that he had such an easy access to Granger. She'd better please me this time, he thought angrily, else there would be hell to pay.
*
Sighing wearily Hermione leaned back against her armchair. She seemed to be doing that a lot, lately -- sighing, crying, being furious at Ron and Stacey and, for no reason at all, throwing herself all over Malfoy.
And it was to this last detail her attention was drawn.
What had come over me? she wondered, staring blankly at the bookshelf in front of her. She couldn't, and didn't, deny the fact that she enjoyed Malfoy's touch; even though that made her feel rather guilty, somehow, and confused. She wanted to feel him, alright, but then again she winced at the thought of being near him. Mind and body are separate she supposed, logically she couldn't stand him, but her body ached for his touch. Then what about my heart?
That, well, was the ultimate question. The question she didn't really want to answer.
She had been furious at the sight of Ron and Stacey together, of course; just seeing them hand in hand made her want to break something. And, well, that kind of feeling could only be described as jealousy-- was she feeling jealous? She didn't know the answer to that one, Ha, a know-it-all not knowing an answer for once, she could even imagine Malfoy saying that to her... oh no! Why had she thought of him?
Burying her head in her hands she resisted the urge to scream out loud.
She was still in love with Ron, that was for sure. Even though he was with Stacey and not her she still cared about him... thought about him. He plagued her dreams... her fantasies... her heart... her mind. He was all she could ever think of-- one glance from him could send delightful shivers down her spine; one smile could light up her day as corny as it was. That he could do... until Malfoy.
Malfoy and his dastardly plan...
She knew why he was doing this, of course.
To torment her.
Sometimes she wondered if Malfoy's sole purpose in life was to make others' miserable. He was always out to pick on people-- course, his all-time favourites being the Wonder Trio, he had so termed them, but he enjoyed using his power over other people, too, she had seen him threaten his Slytherin juniors sometimes along the corridors. It was definitely not surprising, therefore, that he decided to make her his new game.
But for what?
To get a kick out of seeing me break? To feel triumph over my failure? To laugh at me?
Or, to charm me, into his arms, then dump me faster than I can say "I love you Malfoy?"
God, she was so damn confused.
Oh, she was definitely NOT into Malfoy. Her heart and her mind were, for once, agreeing on that fact.
But... her body seemed to have a different say.
And she hated that. Like just now, for instance. When she had been feeling so horrible after the encounter with Ron and the b*tch-from-hell, he had come along, teased her, mocked her, then kissed her. And she HAD responded, god, she had twirled her arms right round his neck and kissed him back. It was as though her body had a will of its own-- her mind and her heart had to scream no ten times before she yanked herself away from him. What was happening to her? She had always prided herself for being self-controlled, but it was as if he exuded this... charisma...? Magnetism? That made her body unable to resist him.
She should be glad, she supposed, that it was only her body. Thank God she hadn't started thinking about him in other ways... like... for example... FOR EXAMPLE ONLY!!... loving him.
Hermione sighed... stretched. Her mind was still in a jumble-- god... it was pretty late... she should be going to sleep...
A knock on the door. From the Gryffindor common room.
Turning the knob she stifled a yawn... then found that she hardly needed to do that anymore. Her eyes widening in surprise, she tried to slam the door shut but he had wedged his foot in and was refusing to budge.
*
Draco was pacing.
He was still pissed off, of course, at Granger for rejecting him. But it was rather late... what if she was already sleeping?
Well since when do you care about her beauty sleep anyway, his mind retorted snappishly.
He supposed it was true... Why should he give a damn about what Granger was doing? He was a Malfoy, after all, and she a lowly Mudblood. She should be rejoicing over the fact that he didn't make her scrub his bedroom floors.
Stepping right in front of the wooden door that had an elaborate H engraved upon it he was about to barge right in when he heard voices.
He hesitated.
*
"Ron, what are you doing here?" Hermione glanced up at her ex-boyfriend... her source of anguish these past few days. She was tired and exhausted and definitely in no mood to deal with him... but he had insisted on coming in and he was now standing stiffly in the middle of the room while she tried to make herself casually comfy.
"I... want to talk to you," he said, finally, after a few moments of awkward pause.
Hermione stared at the floor. Girl you need some guts, she told herself sternly. No matter what you CAN'T break down or forgive him, it's his fault in the first place!
"So, talk," she said abruptly.
Good girl, just the right tone.
Ron was shifting from one foot to another, his arms hanging at his sides a tad bit uncomfortably. "Just now... you blew up at Stace..."
"Stace? Oh, what a sweet name," Hermione cut in sarcastically. She had tried to keep her mouth shut but the words had just tumbled out.
Ron ignored her snide comment. "I just wanna say... it WAS your own fault you know... you SHOULD have been watching where you were going... I mean... you sure won't like it if someone walks smack into you while you were kissing your sweetheart will you? Yeah... that's my point... I dunno... I was thinking... maybe you could apologise for shouting all those rude stuff to her? I mean... she hadn't insulted you in any way had she... it's kinda unfair to treat her like that when the problem's none of her business in the first place. And..."
He trailed off; actually had the *manners* to quiver under her glare. What was he thinking of, HER fault? SHE should say sorry to THAT B*TCH? UNFAIR TREATMENT OF HER? Chuckling bitterly she shook her head and stood up slowly, strangely satisfied that he was now looking sort of scared.
"Now, look here, Ron," she smiled sweetly, "Think back about what you had just said. Wanna take back your words?" She placed her hands on his shoulders; grinned at him.
He stuttered-- and Hermione had the urge to cackle. Fighting down her sudden insane desire she narrowed her eyes angrily. "Damn you, you have no idea how hard it has been for me this two weeks, have you? Oh no, you shouldn't have, considering the amount of hollow space inside your pretty head. Let me tell you-- see me getting thinner? More gaunt? Sleep building under my eyes? Dozing off in History of Magic at least thrice? YOU are the cause of all this, you know that? My insomnia... sleepless nights... or else it's nightmares. YOU caused all these, get it? That info stored in your pathetic excuse of a brain? Well, what have you got to say?"
Hermione was numbed. Felt numbed. She had a distant feeling that she shouldn't be treating Ron this way. He was after all her first and only love and she shouldn't be so harsh. But she was beyond logic, beyond common sense, beyond anger. She felt only a slight twinge of disappointment... otherwise... she was numbed.
Ron had paled, making his freckles stand out even more. She could see him gulping, then he retorted weakly, "Well you did seem to enjoy Malfoy."
"Oh no, Ronnie-kins, wrong thing to say, definitely the wrong thing to say," she hissed. Why had he brought Malfoy up... feeling a slight jerk on her heartstrings in her heart she continued, "What's more you can't really compare yourself to Draco could you..."
Looking back Hermione had no idea what made her say all that... but she supposed she had been feeling so angry at Ron then she had done all she could to hurt him. Made him go through the torture she had gone through. Yeah, that was probably why she had said what she had said.
"You are just a poor kid, that's all... You're so damn cowardly... so damn materialistic. Well at least Draco needn't be that, need he? At least he's got the money and the power to be arrogant and jerky. Well, you, what right have you to go around dumping and insulting me when it's obvious you are way below me even though I'm just a Mudblood? And for your info... Draco's definitely a better kisser than you."
With that last conclusive statement she shoved him out of her room. He complied, probably too shocked by her mean comments, and Hermione collapsed onto her bed, drained.
Merlin, Merlin, Merlin... WHAT had she done?
*
Outside her room in the Prefect's common room, Draco Malfoy put his hand on the doorknob.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
[JaE sPeAkInG]
me... seriously i don't know how i feel about this chapter, lol. m i making hermione a tad bit too evil? I know... all the things she said to Ron... they were darn insulting... Hermione doesn't seem like tt type of gal does she? Well... i NEED her to be that on-the-spur-of-the-moment mean, though... aniwaes she's in luv and damn jealous so let's just excuse her irrational behaviour k? hehe!
Aniwae... guys i'm really happy about all your reviews... special thanks to LZ n Jel for letting me hit the 70-mark! Once again... is it too horrible... to ask for fifteen reviews? Plz? heeheeheee... aniwaes below's the review-replies!
raindrops: lol yea i'm keeping going! *_*
Cindy: wahahhahax, u hoh,wanna tell me ani ideas u haf tell over the fone!!! **active imaginiation** sia! ;)
Kerbi: hahah yea i was thinking tt part was kinda cute!
jelzz: wat chenquan me... muz support me muah :D
junz: yeayea... CHAPTER 7!! WHEEEE!
MichaelRocks: haha yea i'm on a writing spree!! erm... hermione is DEFINITELY not crazy. she's juz in luv, tt's all, and i'm sure you do irrational things when ure in luv. i mean, would u like the gal ure ex-bf dumps u for?? definitely no, right? :D
yao: she too much stress cope up muah, :D, this chapt is even worse, haha.
Pearlyn: lol~! here's the next chappie!
Draco A.K.A. Arieanna Lupin: help me say thx to her!! :D... and thx to YOU for putting me on ure fav author's!! hahaha... i'll read ure fics if i haf e time! :D
magicalferret: wahahha do u really own ferrets? that'll be SO cute! Eminem? erm... i'm not a big fan of his.. hehe.. prefer BLUE! YEA! BLUE ROX! oops... chicken grease?! lol!
`div:lol haha now she's exploding up on ron... sighs... **Poor ron**
aquamoongemini: yea~! i luv guys wif a bad streak in them too, lol, and tom felton's HOT!
Paypay: yeah~ here's the next chappie!
Nattygirl85: hahahah... thx for reviewing...
ilovedracosomuchiwannadie: LINGZI! ::makes a slitting motion against throat:: stop coming up wif lame nicks!!! (even tho tt idea was mine...)
Shanshine: LOL YEAH hERe's the nExt CHaPTER!!!! dun worri, nuthin graphic!
Right, that's it, i LOVE SARS (only in the sense that it's letting us miss sch, def not in the sense that it's killing ppl), haha, we haf 9 days without school!! and NO homework!! WHEEEE!!! i'll be writing more, i promise, but ya guys haf to keep ure side of the bargain and review too!! LOL!!