Enjoy act two.
You stuck with me this long?
God you're brave.
Don't own it so :P
# # # #
ACT TWO
Narrator: (spoken before the curtains go up) So Josie Choir, are you ready for act two?
Kids: Yes, Mr Narrator.
N: Good. So are you looking forward to carrying on with the show?
Kids: Yes, Mr Narrator.
Random Kid 1: Are you gay, Mr Narrator?
N: Wh-
Random Kid 1: It's just - my friends say that any male singer is gay and I was just wondering if that was the case here.
N: Well, I am shocked. I'm not gay!
Random Kid 1: Oh. Ok.
N: But my boyfriend is! (winks. Kid looks scared. Opening music starts up to tune of Go, Go, Go Josie - running through an overture - as cast members run around the stage, looking for various props. Four bald male dancers wearing nothing but fairy wings and tiger-print thongs get into position in the wings- two each side -and the Narrator grabs the nearest eight kids to form a listening circle - or horseshoe, think of the shape - around him for the opening of act two)
Random Kid 2: What are you doing, Mr Gay Narrator?
N: Well, I have to sing to you brats, and when we start the second song of the second act, you go back into positions at the side of the stage ok?
Random Kid 3: Okay. Will you wink when we have to move? Just so we know when to move.
N: Yes. But no-ones parents are suing me this time, okay kids?
(All kids, cast members, and thong-wearing fairies nod)
(The curtain rises as Go, Go, Go Josie music turns into ...)
~~~~~
A Pharaoh Story
N: Pharaoh, she was a powerful woman,
With the ancient world in the palm of her hand,
To all intents and purposes, she
Was Egypt, with a capital V,
Whatever she did, she was showered with frays,
If she cracked a joke, no-one spoke of it for days,
No-one had sense or good-looks like the Queen,
In fact, you could say, the King was rather too keen... (rolls his eyes and sighs before carrying on)
When Pharaoh's around,
Then you get down on the ground (all kids except Random Kid 2 fall to their feet. Random Kid 1 pulls Random Kid 2's trouser-leg and Random Kid 2 falls to the floor)
If you ever find yourself near Ramasees,
Get down on your trees - shit - knees
Kids: A Pharaoh Story (x4)
N: Down at the other end of the scale,
Josie is still doing time in jail,
For even though she is in with the guards,
A lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards,
But...
Josie: (spoken as she's brought onstage by a sister - Ruby - dressed as the Head Guard) What? Lifetime?
N: (music stops. Narrator picks up a script that has materialised in the hands of Random Kid 1. Spoken) Yes, it says here, and I quote: "a lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards"
J: Why a lifetime? Why not a few years? All I did was the bloody Macarena.
N: Hey. You mess with Purdifar and you're messing with the whole damn musical.
J: I much preferred Joseph and his dream coat. (sits on the bench placed onstage for the Narrator to sit on) I mean, who wants to see a musical about a goat? Which doesn't even DO anything?
Random Kid 1: People paid good money to see a musical about an irritating, ginger, freckled, stupid orphan.
RK2: And people paid to see a musical about a load of screechy cats.
RK3: Yeah, and about ... um ... a nun, disguised as a governess, who's fallen hopelessly in love with the baron, while looking after seven really horrible children.
RK2: They were nice to her towards the end though, weren't they?
Josie: Yeah. She took them singing too, didn't she? She taught them about music. See, that's what I want to do. Teach kids about music, not sing about a goat to a theatre full of people, hoping to kill themselves because the play is so crap and boring that they'd rather pay their taxes than watch it.
Musical Director: (from the pit at the front of the stage) Couldn't agree more!
*audience applause*
Josie: (to the Narrator) Sorry, you carry on! Don't mind me! (trots back to position next to Head Guard)
N: *clears throat* But if my analysis of the position is right,
At the end of the tunnel there's a glimmer of shite,
For all of a sudden, there's been visions and things,
Disturbing the sleep of both Queens, and Kings
Strange as it seems there's been a run of crazy dreams,
And a girl who can interpret could go far,
Could become a star!
Kids: Could be famous, Could be a big success (x2)
All: Could be a sta-a-a-a-a-a-r!
# # # #
ACT TWO
Narrator: (spoken before the curtains go up) So Josie Choir, are you ready for act two?
Kids: Yes, Mr Narrator.
N: Good. So are you looking forward to carrying on with the show?
Kids: Yes, Mr Narrator.
Random Kid 1: Are you gay, Mr Narrator?
N: Wh-
Random Kid 1: It's just - my friends say that any male singer is gay and I was just wondering if that was the case here.
N: Well, I am shocked. I'm not gay!
Random Kid 1: Oh. Ok.
N: But my boyfriend is! (winks. Kid looks scared. Opening music starts up to tune of Go, Go, Go Josie - running through an overture - as cast members run around the stage, looking for various props. Four bald male dancers wearing nothing but fairy wings and tiger-print thongs get into position in the wings- two each side -and the Narrator grabs the nearest eight kids to form a listening circle - or horseshoe, think of the shape - around him for the opening of act two)
Random Kid 2: What are you doing, Mr Gay Narrator?
N: Well, I have to sing to you brats, and when we start the second song of the second act, you go back into positions at the side of the stage ok?
Random Kid 3: Okay. Will you wink when we have to move? Just so we know when to move.
N: Yes. But no-ones parents are suing me this time, okay kids?
(All kids, cast members, and thong-wearing fairies nod)
(The curtain rises as Go, Go, Go Josie music turns into ...)
~~~~~
A Pharaoh Story
N: Pharaoh, she was a powerful woman,
With the ancient world in the palm of her hand,
To all intents and purposes, she
Was Egypt, with a capital V,
Whatever she did, she was showered with frays,
If she cracked a joke, no-one spoke of it for days,
No-one had sense or good-looks like the Queen,
In fact, you could say, the King was rather too keen... (rolls his eyes and sighs before carrying on)
When Pharaoh's around,
Then you get down on the ground (all kids except Random Kid 2 fall to their feet. Random Kid 1 pulls Random Kid 2's trouser-leg and Random Kid 2 falls to the floor)
If you ever find yourself near Ramasees,
Get down on your trees - shit - knees
Kids: A Pharaoh Story (x4)
N: Down at the other end of the scale,
Josie is still doing time in jail,
For even though she is in with the guards,
A lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards,
But...
Josie: (spoken as she's brought onstage by a sister - Ruby - dressed as the Head Guard) What? Lifetime?
N: (music stops. Narrator picks up a script that has materialised in the hands of Random Kid 1. Spoken) Yes, it says here, and I quote: "a lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards"
J: Why a lifetime? Why not a few years? All I did was the bloody Macarena.
N: Hey. You mess with Purdifar and you're messing with the whole damn musical.
J: I much preferred Joseph and his dream coat. (sits on the bench placed onstage for the Narrator to sit on) I mean, who wants to see a musical about a goat? Which doesn't even DO anything?
Random Kid 1: People paid good money to see a musical about an irritating, ginger, freckled, stupid orphan.
RK2: And people paid to see a musical about a load of screechy cats.
RK3: Yeah, and about ... um ... a nun, disguised as a governess, who's fallen hopelessly in love with the baron, while looking after seven really horrible children.
RK2: They were nice to her towards the end though, weren't they?
Josie: Yeah. She took them singing too, didn't she? She taught them about music. See, that's what I want to do. Teach kids about music, not sing about a goat to a theatre full of people, hoping to kill themselves because the play is so crap and boring that they'd rather pay their taxes than watch it.
Musical Director: (from the pit at the front of the stage) Couldn't agree more!
*audience applause*
Josie: (to the Narrator) Sorry, you carry on! Don't mind me! (trots back to position next to Head Guard)
N: *clears throat* But if my analysis of the position is right,
At the end of the tunnel there's a glimmer of shite,
For all of a sudden, there's been visions and things,
Disturbing the sleep of both Queens, and Kings
Strange as it seems there's been a run of crazy dreams,
And a girl who can interpret could go far,
Could become a star!
Kids: Could be famous, Could be a big success (x2)
All: Could be a sta-a-a-a-a-a-r!