The Angel and the Phantom
Chapter Nine
The Dreams and the Reasons
Belle
I found myself in a garden, a beautiful garden. The buds of the roses bushes tickled my fingertips and cherry blossoms fell from the trees into my hair. I looked up saw and felt the sun warming my face. The gown I was wearing flowed in the breeze around my wrists and ankles. I looked down in delight to see it was a dress fit for a princess, all made with pink satin. I pushed my way through the branches and the bushes of the garden until I noticed the figure of a man before me. His back was turned and yet I could make out he was very tall, with black flowing hair dressed in a dark military suit. He slowly turned to me and my heart skipped a beat in my chest.
It was Erik. Light poured from behind him and the most handsome smile was across his lips. He reached out a hand beckoning me forward. "Come mon ange." He called in a low whisper. I was overjoyed at the sound of his voice and I wanted to run into his arms and stay there forever. I went to move towards him, my step full of reckless abandonment.
"Maestro!" a voice called. I turned to glance beside me. That voice wasn't mine. It was another women who ran past me in blur. She had long curly blond hair that sparkled like gold down her back and she was dressed in white wedding gown, which put mine to shame. She embraced Erik laughing. I saw her face flash before my eyes, round healthy cheeks and full red lips. She was the image of perfect beauty. She and Erik both laughed and smiled together, as he took her hand and kissed it.
"My Christine." He called to her
"My Erik." She replied. I felt overcome by despair and jealously. I thought Erik cared for me. I saw the garden around me fade. The flowers withered and hung limp on their branches. The sun hid itself behind the clouds. My dress had become no more than a thin gray rag, barley covering my frame. I watched in pain as Erik and Christine embraced warmly, while I had to hold my arms across my chest to keep from freezing. Tears feel from my eyes and turned to pieces of ash before they hit the ground.
And I was so cold.
My body shivered all over, and I opened my eyes wearily. My eyelids felt as if they were made of lead and my vision was blurred. All I could make out were small specks of light dotting the dark space I was in. Perhaps I was dead and this was my coffin. I could not move my arms or legs and my back was stiff. But then I heard a voice and something applied pressure to my knees. I tried to focus to see what it was, but my eyes wouldn't let me. So I just listened.
"Oh God please don't take this child. Have mercy on her where once you showed me none. Don't take her away form me." It was Erik and he was praying. Sobbing and praying. "Don't take her please. I need her."
I managed to find my voice to call out to him. My vision had finally settled. "Erik?" I felt a strong pair of arms slip around my neck and a tearful face settle against my cheek.
"Belle! Christ, I thought I almost lost you." He exclaimed trying to sound as dignified as possible through his tears. I felt his soft jet black hair brushed against my forehead and I wanted to reach out my hands to hold him, but I couldn't move. Erik was right next to me and I could even touch him with my own hands. He suddenly backed away and straighten himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that just now." he apologized. He kept his feeling caged up inside him like a prison, and it made me so sad.
"No." I argued. "I don't care about that." I bit my lip, feeling foolish and childish that I had just said that. "Erik what happen to me? I feel so numb." He reached over to the bedside table, soaking a hand towel in a basin of steaming water. Wringing it in his hand he placed on my forehead, soaking my face. I took a moment to inhale the scent of the warm water, savoring its fresh aroma.
"You fell in the lake somehow. You almost drown and you've been unconscious for almost a day now." He explained. I understood. I glanced down at my body to see I was wrapped tightly in a large wool blanket. Erik must have dived into the lake himself to rescue me.
"You saved me? Why?" I asked timidly
"What else could I do?" he replied dryly. Erik turned my head to the side and bathed my neck with the warm towel.
"You didn't have to. You should have just let me die. I don't deserve to be rescued." I felt so worthless lying there, as if I were just another burden to him.
"No don't say that!" he retorted. "I would have been a complete monster to leave you. How can you even act like you don't want to live?" He slipped a hand under my neck and pulled me closer to him. His fingers massaged themselves through my hair. "Belle, you are one of most nature's beautiful creations." He gave a small laugh. "If you don't mind me saying so that is. But you can't say you don't deserve to live. God, I'm the one who should be saying that." His voiced dropped into a lower range and sounded so deep vibrating around my ear. I trembled under the sheet.
"But Erik why wouldn't you let me see your face?" I questioned. "I know I've hurt you but please would you let me see it?" I tried to reach my fingers to touch his mask, but he pulled his face away.
"God why must you ask?" he breathed. His voice sounded so sorrowful. "Please take my word. I wish to spare you the horror of the face that lies beneath the mask. Just believe me." He started to pull his hands away, but I clamped my fingers around him tightly is a desperate attempt. I think I was starting to understand the terror behind the mask. I pulled myself up from the bed to look at him at the same eye level. He had his face almost fully in the shadows, with only the reflection of his blue eyes shining in the darkness.
"Please I could see, I wouldn't think any lest of you." I pleaded.
"No." he snapped back. Turning back into the light he held hand above his face. "There is no face behind this. It's nothing more than a sick twist of fate. A cruel joke of God! You could not possibly want to see it." His tone start to crack and sound shaky like when he was crying. I blinked and then just stared at him for a long moment, not trying to be rude or inconsiderate as I did.
I only wanted to gaze upon this poor tortured man whom society had left behind, out of compassion. If the world would not love him, then I would. I pulled one of his hands back; his palms were so soft and smooth against mine. I rested my cheek against it. "Erik if all you are concealing behind the mask in an unfortunate face, then you have nothing really monstrous to hide." I felt his arms embrace me once more and I let myself rest my head against his shoulder.
"Erik, I love you." I whispered into the sleeve of his warm shirt and prayed to God he did not hear it.
Erik let me relax in bed for the rest of the day. He had stayed by my side most of the time, reading me some poetry from his collection of books. I listened for long hour in soft relaxation, entranced by his beautiful voice. I analyzed intently every syllable he spoke. But then he excused himself saying he needed to prepare for something. I assumed it was dinner, but when he had been gone for almost an hour and I didn't hear any noises of cooking from outside my door, I began to wonder. So I finally decide to get up and go find him. My legs were still weak, but I managed to at least wobble my way out of bed and half way to the door before Erik walked back in again. He gave me a shocked expression, and I blushed. I must have looked like a spectacle, limping like a thin-legged foal with the large wool blanket trailing behind me.
"Belle what are you doing up?" he asked in an upset tone.
"I wanted to see where you went. I was worried because you were gone for so long." I confessed sheepishly. A sort of sly smile rose to his lips as he came towards me.
"Oh I see. You wanted to know what I was up to." Then without warning, he scoped me into his arms and twirled me around. I gave sharp intake of laughter. He started to carry me out the door. "Why then I just have to show you." He held me tight in his arms as he carried me out and to the drawing room. I threw my own arms around his neck. He kicked the door of the room open with his foot. It was totally dark, and I started to fell a little frighten when Erik stepped inside. He managed to see his way through and set me down on something. I felt around with my hands to discover it was one of the divan. "Now I was going to keep this a surprise, so I'll have to ask you to close your eyes for a moment." He instructed
I felt cold and nervous, he had said the same thing to me the night he first brought me here. When I didn't respond to him he called again. "Belle are you all right?"
"I can hardly see as it is Erik. Do I really have to close my eyes?" I asked
"I suppose not, but can you until I get some light in here. I really wanted it to be a surprise." I sighed and closed my eyes, but still alert if he would try to do something unexpected. I could smell the match being lit. A few more moments passed by.
"Erik can I opened my eyes yet?"
"Hold on." Then I felt one of his fingers on my cheek. "Open them now." He whispered. I let my eyes peer open and my mouth almost dropped to the floor. A beautiful red ball gown was laid out on a mannequin. The skirt was full and the sleeves were fitted yet following and open on the ends. The entire dress was painstakingly covered in lace and needlework designs. I got up to look at it, but Erik slipped an arm around me to help me over. I was still feeling weak in the knees. I ran my hands around the gown; trying to determine which time period it came from. I turned to Erik.
"What is all this for?" He smiled and shrugged, then leaned down on my shoulder.
"It's for you all of it. There is a masked ball at opera next week. If you would permit me to ask, but would you accompany me?" he asked softly. My heart skipped a beat and I squeezed his hand tightly.
"I'd loved too."