Love in Words : Three Unread Letters
~hotsleekeyz~
Different reasons for loving. Different ways of losing the only thing that could have expressed it. The letters all sent. The letters all unread.
3Chapters
Shipping : DracoXHermioneXRon
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Here is the letter of Ron to Hermione. Sent. Kept. Unread
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Mione,
Are you alright? I've heard from Harry that you have been acting quite unusual lately. I hope it isn't serious or anything. He's getting worried about you going out with Malfoy. You know how it all was before you and that git got civil to each other. It wasn't pretty, was it? Well honestly, I do feel the same way. It's just that I know it will result to nothing better if I told you that your best friends break it up to you that we do doubt Malfoy of his intentions and we are most hopeful that you are always on guard. He might be sneaking to Voldemort's hiding place and telling him on how to get hold of Harry the easiest way they could. Knowing that Malfoy's father is the same git, er, I mean, used to be a Death Eaters before he met his deserved death, he could might be well up to the same thing. . . to turn Harry in by means of people around our best mate.
You see, I trust you with your own decisions Mione. It's just that this one is not exactly what Harry and I expected. We thought you'd know better than to engage in the affairs of that bouncing ferret. I know, I know. You've tried your best to repeat it to Harry and I what this is all about. You've told us about your sorrow for his loss, and that, I assume, is due to a silly theory that Ginny and I made that you were dismayed by Lucius' death, which more or less equates to one good-looking wizard in witch's magazines. I bet if I told you about that idea you could have smacked me right then and there. But isn't his trying to get civil with you suspicious? Okay, you've termed it as "trying to settle terms" with you but, Draco Malfoy, doing that---FOR YOU?!
You know very well that he loathes you as much as he does me. He hates muggleborns and impoverished people like me. he would go by all means to make our lives a living hell. He certainly was successful, Draco. Malfoy wasn't the least sorry about it, was he? And that thought alone gave Harry and I the most doubt due him. We know Malfoy couldn't be trusted. He can always double-cross you. And if you're lucky, he might also hand you over to Voldemort (now I'm not flinching at his filthy name) for some entertainment. Half-time perhaps?
You have your points Mione. Harry and I try as much to understand and accept them. Maybe for a little bit more time, we could accept your friendship with that albino. But for now, don't deny us our right to doubt him. As you also told us, you see our own points. All we ask of you is for you not to completely trust him at this point in time. We've proven Malfoy to be a good actor, as he has successfully made imitations of Harry for all his blunders, and had a few good laughs at his antics too, every once in a while the more that we've grown older. He sure does seem not to get any more matured, picking on Harry every chance he's got.
This might well be the longest correspondence that I've written in my whole life, honestly. I don't know what exactly pushed me to this. I've had these stupid dreams lately, as a matter-of-fact. I've dreamt of you dying for Malfoy. If there is anything that I would want to happen to you, is to die in his name, his honour that he'd long lost. I've seen you so clearly in my nightmares that I'm afraid it might happen to you. I could recall exactly how those green sparks came shooting down from several Death Eaters and it was supposedly to hit Malfoy, but you came running in and you've blocked the spells for him. You received the spells that were supposedly for that git! And I would not let that happen Mione, whatever your feelings for him might be. I swear to my grave I will follow suit if that happens.
I can't believe this.
Mione, I know that you would not wish for us to talk about it but certainly, my feelings for you haven't changed, and if it has, it only grows stronger. You know this. I've told you about my feelings back in 4th year Yule Ball after the party. Just a few moments that I've told you how I felt about you all those time, Harry came in and nothing else happened aside from you rushing to your dormitory. I never really cared if someone in the Gryffindor Common Room heard us, I would suspect Lavender and Parvati for the gossip-hungry girlies they are. Yes, back at that time, I already had strong emotions for my best friend. It wasn't care. It was a love more than a friend deserves. It wasn't due to the spur of the moment that I've revealed how I felt, after seeing you at your most beautiful that night. It was the fact that you had the right, at last, to know what I have been holding in. It was awkward for me of course, having to get through a few challenges here and there with you, while you were at your glorious youth with your back slouched due to the many books you carry all around and your buckteeth. I disgraced the thought of feeling anything more for you other than friendship. But who was I to contend with my strong emotions? It was all throbbing mad in me, all the jealousy that Krum have given me after months of my failed attempts to get his autographs, only to find out that he took a shorter time that you were indeed, a girl. Of course, I've spotted that fact long before, it's just that I was also afraid of what could result if I further provoked my feelings. I could have done sillier things than yelling at you that night. I could have kissed you senseless, I don't know. Lucky for me I've been so daft. Lucky that Krum came in the picture. Somehow, it worked to some convenience on my part. Oh yes, good thing that Krum came in the picture. But I could not deny it that after I knew that you were in constant communication with him, I've always felt myself grow scarlet in envy. I had to contain myself from transfiguring myself into someone of Hagrid's size and stepping over his large crooked nose. Harry of course knew about the raging emotion inside me and took the liberty to talk things over. He made it known to me that if I really did love you, and wanted to make it known to you that I did, I would have to expect giving up our friendship---and that, I wasn't ready for.
But when was I supposed to be ready? I will not deny you the fact that I have always enjoyed the times we are together with Harry. You've made my life a great deal easier to deal with. I mean, you were some sort of miracle that happened to my life. . . pure magic, in fact. I doubted my intentions though. I knew I would want to tell you how much I was holding inside but what if you would be taken aback and simply hate me for it? I didn't want you to go away and ignore me for the rest of our lives. I've always feared that. And Ginny too, found out about it soon enough. He tried to have her other mates come to the Burrow just to distract me from growing any fonder of you. Somehow, it worked. I've had flings with a number of her friends but nothing really did completely take my attention of you. And I came to a point of isolating myself. You yourself witnessed that and asked what was wrong. Of course I've made a few lies to cover up the real reason behind and you made it a bit worse when you'd sneak up at night to the boy's dormitory just to send me over some Chocolate Frogs just to cheer me up, knowing that I'd still be awake by then. You'd also slip in some small notes in to my things with some cute little images of flowers and smileys just to make sure I'd smile even once in a day. And that was 6th year mind you. you tried to act childishly just to make me happy. And damnit it didn't make things easier for me. Your acts of concern only made me feel that you are the one that I want to love for the rest of my life, if that is possible of course. It was silly wasn't it? I was down with a problem unmentionable that I didn't even dare to tell Harry about, but he found out sooner than I expected anyway, and YOU, Hermione Jane Granger, were my problem. It's mad. I thought I was to lose my mind.
And what could be worse than that?
Seeing you sneaking some notes to Malfoy when his father passed away was. How I hated to confront you about it! But of course no one is to stop me, is there? I was thinking, what the bloody hell were you doing? Of course I never understood how your mind works but I tried. Harry, Ginny, and I tried to comprehend what you were doing. It took some while for me to get the bigger picture. After you've explained why you were doing that for, I saw something else in your eyes. I couldn't say love, for at that moment I knew you were just getting down with some girly thing for people dying and losing the ones they love (I don't' know what word to fit it in). I of course detested to your plans, of which appeared to me that there was no plan at all. For the first time in her life, Hermione Granger wasn't with a plan. She was actually acting on impulse. She was acting upon her gut feel. And I didn't take it quite easily did I? Well you would not have known anyway. You were busy trying to get Malfoy talking to you so I didn't expect you to be there when you were, again, my problem.
That act alone surprised me. If the whole mage world knew about our story, they would have been just as taken aback as Harry and I were. But I never thought that there was something else that could surprise us even more. . .
Draco Malfoy had agreed to be on civil terms with you.
What could be odder than that? Imagine the great Slytherin Prefect- Quidditch Captain-Wizarding and Muggle World Heartthrob had agreed, at last, to be on speaking terms with you. I saw that it also took him a while to trust you. Slytherins do not trust easily, of course. But he eventually did.
And what I hated about the whole thing was that he lost the hate in his eyes. He never glared at Harry and I the same way he did before. Of course Malfoy would hate us for trying to outwit him and his plans but he lost all his plan of putting up his smugness. He lost everything that he tried to put up as his own reputation, without trying to get some hand-over reputation from his father and his ancestors. You broke the evil in him, if I may say so. And no one else saw that except me. Mione, I saw how everything progressed from gradually receding hatred to pure understanding. And everyone else thought it was just you and Malfoy trying to hang around with each other because you were the prettiest people at Hogwarts! How thick could they get?
Harry tried telling me to ignore it all. But how was I to do that when envy was raging mad inside me? I've surrendered to taking muggle sleeping pills at night just to have me asleep through the disturbing images that pops into my mind. I've imagines you two snogging at Hogsmeade and sneaking into broom closets while taking prefect rounds. I've seen everything so clearly in my head I was too afraid they were already true. Mum had tried cheering me up too, after she knew from Ginny, who unfortunately spilled it to Mum that I've been secretly having some affections for you. she'd make more and more jumpers in different colours but did she really expect that would cheer me up? She sent over mince pies and sweets but I never got to fancy devouring all of them or else I'd get as stout as Dudley Dursley is.
Eating myself, trying to force myself to myself wasn't the remedy for it. I swear I would have cursed myself on how long it took me to figure out the solution to my problem.
It was only in telling you, at last, how I was feeling for you and all that, that I could get my peace of mind again. Nothing but that could give my mind some rest from constant delusional day dreams and nightmares.
And now, I'm reliving the night of the party of 4th year Yule Ball. My feelings haven't changed Mione. . . only that it has developed into a more matured understanding of respecting your decisions and simply supporting your plans and happiness that I could express with pride these feelings I have for you.
I love you Mione. Before, now and through the days to come.
It just pains me to see you with Malfoy. How you two seemed perfect for each other whenever you' walk past me and Harry. I've seen how you smiled around him---there is a different glow to it. And Mione, I can't make you smile like that. It's only Malfoy who could. He is your happiness, I know. He could appeal to you as the answer to your prayers, and that is why, it pains me more so accepting that fact. I have been summoning for all the miracle to happen that one day you'd be mine. That at last, after the long struggles with my inner self, I could shout to all the worlds that I have won the heart of the woman I most loved.
But I could never have you Mione. You have Malfoy. And I know he feels the same way for you. I've seen how you've changed every bit of Malfoy's life into something unbelievably real and content, something that even old wise wizards could not do.
You've never openly admitted to us how you really feel about him. I doubt if you would. But I have seen it all in the different glimmer in our eyes. You are happy with him. And yes, you might as well be happy with our company but it wouldn't be the same with Malfoy, isn't it? You love him don't you? You wouldn't have gone through all the trouble if you've never felt anything unusual for him. And you don't have to pain me by telling us what you really do feel for that ferret. And he wouldn't need to admit anything either. I've seen with my two eyes Mione. You two are just biding the right time when to reveal your true emotions. And the hell I hate this. I know it's to come soon. It's not far that he'll ask for you to commit yourself with him. Shit.
I don't see why you have to choose him. I've told you how I felt for you. I suppose that Krum had also done the same, only more frequently than I did, as I only said it once before. You've denied Krum of your emotions, and he was particularly nice and modest, gentleman even, grounded despite fame, but you've denied him of your heart. If I've been made a girl, I would have pounced on him at once and say yes without him asking. What were you thinking Mione? I would have understood if you rejected me, but Krum? Krum? He has enough wealth to sustain you two for a lifetime, and I don't. I would probably end up working 24 hours a day without coming home just to have you to eat something for each meal. He's quite good-looking, on some standard, and I'm just the thin, tall, freckled redhead who's a shame to the whole wizarding world how I end up bloody scarlet after some round. I mean, who am I compared to Krum? He's got all the attention of Quidditch enthusiasts and witches who knows a bit about Quidditch, trying as hard to appear they do know something. . . he's got the sex appeal, as older witches would say, and what do I have? Jeez, I've been lucky to have a silly rat for a pet who's been Voldemort's servant all those time. Come on, who was I to Viktor Krum? And still, you didn't give him your full attention.
To make the whole idea worse, I was nothing to you, and Krum too. . . so what chance do I have with Malfoy? That ruddy Draconis Benedict Marcus August Leighton Malfoy, as he hailed throughout the corridor, which sure gave Harry and I a whole day of a fit with his rather unusually long and funny-looking name. See, I'm Ronald Bilius Weasley. I've only got three names and Malfoy's got six. Even in name, I look like a blast-ended skrewt beside the Whomping Willow! And by height---I'm only a 6'1" and he's 6'3". He could always beat me at something of course, and he's got long limbs to match his measure. He's a blonde, I'm ginger. He's got gray eyes, I've got blue. He's got a prefect thin nose, and I've just a---just a thin nose. . . a long nose, alright. He knows how to carry himself around, as if he's on a ramp or something, while I carelessly walk around, oblivious to everything else. He got in the Quidditch team by second year. I got in at 5th. He's got an offer to play for different International Quidditch teams, and I still have to audition for substitute, if worse comes to worst. He's best in Potions and I'm third to Harry and Neville for last. He's second to you in almost all subjects and I'm nowhere near that. He takes Advanced Arithmancy and manages Divination while I'm somewhere near to having a failing mark. His family's got the connections at that ruddy Ministry. I've only one father trying to fit in the Ministry, and a brother who's trying to suck up the whole of the Ministry. He's got everything he wanted, and I barely get new clothes even as a birthday present. He's got the Malfoy Mansion now that his git father is dead. I live in the small Burrow. He bought the broomsticks of the whole Slytherin Quidditch Team, and it wasn't cheap either, I've only gotten a broomstick because I was made prefect, a great endeavour for my parents of course. He's got your heart. I don't.
What point of comparison exists between him and I? He was perfection and I was all-fault. The imaginary line drawn between him and I had completely erased itself due to the fact that we are complete opposites, extremes, to be more precise.
And that alone, the fact that Draco Malfoy is the epitome of perfection, could win any girl's heart. But I suppose you saw something far more than that in him. For I know, having lived with you for almost seven years, that nothing like wealth and popularity would draw your emotions to a certain bloke. I could prove that with the fact that you've never fallen in love with Harry despite the fact that he too, had grown out beautifully of his ruffled hair and scar on his forehead. It was either him or Malfoy on witch's magazine and I would only have the tiniest picture somewhere inside one issue just to mention "Harry Potter's Faithful Sidekick". I've never gotten myself my own distinction, now have I? I've never wanted to be Harry's sidekick, you know that too well. I've ranted too many times before about it. You know how I envied Harry getting all the attention. And now, I have to contend with two. The great Harry Potter and the handsome Draco Malfoy.
Oh you know it would poor people, we're always left with the crumbs.
I reckon it would have been better to live-off as a house elf who gets free food and boarding aside from the death threats and assaults of course, than being a impoverished Weasley who takes up a small corner in the Weasley's residence, smaller still, than the space that our ghoul occupies at the attic.
But that's not the point anyway. I just wanted to tell you again that my feelings for you are still alive, Mione.
I just couldn't explain it why I was pushed to write this mail. I haven't made anything else like this---even if it was Snape's usual dreadful essays.
And yeah, forget about the rabbles. I just want to remind you to be careful around Malfoy. He might be showing you his good side, but you wouldn't really know. I'm just dead worried about your safety is all. I've been seeing more significant omens in my tea cups. . . Um, yeah, I've been reading tea leaves from Trelawney's lessons when I get bored and somehow, I've managed to get a few good tries at it. And lately, there've been omens of death---of whom, I'm not quite sure. I don't want to take it seriously though, after knowing that Trelawney is nothing more than a colourful bat. Just have your eyes open at all times. Harry and I will be sure to be there for you if any danger comes.
Take care sweetie. Give that Malfoy some good spanking if he does something ill at you.
Still your good friend, Ron
P.S. I'm quiet sure you're glad to find out that I've managed to write a longer letter than your shortest essay for Professor Binns.
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Ronald Weasley's love and resentment letter. . . Sent. Kept. Unread.
~Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns characters, setting, etc. Except: the plot is mine.~
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YAY! Last letter!
Please hold on for the last-chapter! It's like an epilogue of some sort of what happened after the letters were given, what were not true, what turned up, and what they saw from behind the parchment that Ron used to write his mail on. You will find out what really happened after the incident with the Death Eaters and that some rumours revolving the incident were not true at all.
[rolls on the floor laughing my ass off]
I'm demented. That's one thing for sure *snickers*.
BE sure to read the last part alright! Ron's letter is not the end of it! You'll be missing half of your life [for this fic, anyway] if you aren't going to read the epilogue!!!
Oh yes, standard form of reminder : PLEASE REVIEW! [yay! I'm back on my writing mood again!]
Different reasons for loving. Different ways of losing the only thing that could have expressed it. The letters all sent. The letters all unread.
3Chapters
Shipping : DracoXHermioneXRon
***********************************************************************
Here is the letter of Ron to Hermione. Sent. Kept. Unread
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Mione,
Are you alright? I've heard from Harry that you have been acting quite unusual lately. I hope it isn't serious or anything. He's getting worried about you going out with Malfoy. You know how it all was before you and that git got civil to each other. It wasn't pretty, was it? Well honestly, I do feel the same way. It's just that I know it will result to nothing better if I told you that your best friends break it up to you that we do doubt Malfoy of his intentions and we are most hopeful that you are always on guard. He might be sneaking to Voldemort's hiding place and telling him on how to get hold of Harry the easiest way they could. Knowing that Malfoy's father is the same git, er, I mean, used to be a Death Eaters before he met his deserved death, he could might be well up to the same thing. . . to turn Harry in by means of people around our best mate.
You see, I trust you with your own decisions Mione. It's just that this one is not exactly what Harry and I expected. We thought you'd know better than to engage in the affairs of that bouncing ferret. I know, I know. You've tried your best to repeat it to Harry and I what this is all about. You've told us about your sorrow for his loss, and that, I assume, is due to a silly theory that Ginny and I made that you were dismayed by Lucius' death, which more or less equates to one good-looking wizard in witch's magazines. I bet if I told you about that idea you could have smacked me right then and there. But isn't his trying to get civil with you suspicious? Okay, you've termed it as "trying to settle terms" with you but, Draco Malfoy, doing that---FOR YOU?!
You know very well that he loathes you as much as he does me. He hates muggleborns and impoverished people like me. he would go by all means to make our lives a living hell. He certainly was successful, Draco. Malfoy wasn't the least sorry about it, was he? And that thought alone gave Harry and I the most doubt due him. We know Malfoy couldn't be trusted. He can always double-cross you. And if you're lucky, he might also hand you over to Voldemort (now I'm not flinching at his filthy name) for some entertainment. Half-time perhaps?
You have your points Mione. Harry and I try as much to understand and accept them. Maybe for a little bit more time, we could accept your friendship with that albino. But for now, don't deny us our right to doubt him. As you also told us, you see our own points. All we ask of you is for you not to completely trust him at this point in time. We've proven Malfoy to be a good actor, as he has successfully made imitations of Harry for all his blunders, and had a few good laughs at his antics too, every once in a while the more that we've grown older. He sure does seem not to get any more matured, picking on Harry every chance he's got.
This might well be the longest correspondence that I've written in my whole life, honestly. I don't know what exactly pushed me to this. I've had these stupid dreams lately, as a matter-of-fact. I've dreamt of you dying for Malfoy. If there is anything that I would want to happen to you, is to die in his name, his honour that he'd long lost. I've seen you so clearly in my nightmares that I'm afraid it might happen to you. I could recall exactly how those green sparks came shooting down from several Death Eaters and it was supposedly to hit Malfoy, but you came running in and you've blocked the spells for him. You received the spells that were supposedly for that git! And I would not let that happen Mione, whatever your feelings for him might be. I swear to my grave I will follow suit if that happens.
I can't believe this.
Mione, I know that you would not wish for us to talk about it but certainly, my feelings for you haven't changed, and if it has, it only grows stronger. You know this. I've told you about my feelings back in 4th year Yule Ball after the party. Just a few moments that I've told you how I felt about you all those time, Harry came in and nothing else happened aside from you rushing to your dormitory. I never really cared if someone in the Gryffindor Common Room heard us, I would suspect Lavender and Parvati for the gossip-hungry girlies they are. Yes, back at that time, I already had strong emotions for my best friend. It wasn't care. It was a love more than a friend deserves. It wasn't due to the spur of the moment that I've revealed how I felt, after seeing you at your most beautiful that night. It was the fact that you had the right, at last, to know what I have been holding in. It was awkward for me of course, having to get through a few challenges here and there with you, while you were at your glorious youth with your back slouched due to the many books you carry all around and your buckteeth. I disgraced the thought of feeling anything more for you other than friendship. But who was I to contend with my strong emotions? It was all throbbing mad in me, all the jealousy that Krum have given me after months of my failed attempts to get his autographs, only to find out that he took a shorter time that you were indeed, a girl. Of course, I've spotted that fact long before, it's just that I was also afraid of what could result if I further provoked my feelings. I could have done sillier things than yelling at you that night. I could have kissed you senseless, I don't know. Lucky for me I've been so daft. Lucky that Krum came in the picture. Somehow, it worked to some convenience on my part. Oh yes, good thing that Krum came in the picture. But I could not deny it that after I knew that you were in constant communication with him, I've always felt myself grow scarlet in envy. I had to contain myself from transfiguring myself into someone of Hagrid's size and stepping over his large crooked nose. Harry of course knew about the raging emotion inside me and took the liberty to talk things over. He made it known to me that if I really did love you, and wanted to make it known to you that I did, I would have to expect giving up our friendship---and that, I wasn't ready for.
But when was I supposed to be ready? I will not deny you the fact that I have always enjoyed the times we are together with Harry. You've made my life a great deal easier to deal with. I mean, you were some sort of miracle that happened to my life. . . pure magic, in fact. I doubted my intentions though. I knew I would want to tell you how much I was holding inside but what if you would be taken aback and simply hate me for it? I didn't want you to go away and ignore me for the rest of our lives. I've always feared that. And Ginny too, found out about it soon enough. He tried to have her other mates come to the Burrow just to distract me from growing any fonder of you. Somehow, it worked. I've had flings with a number of her friends but nothing really did completely take my attention of you. And I came to a point of isolating myself. You yourself witnessed that and asked what was wrong. Of course I've made a few lies to cover up the real reason behind and you made it a bit worse when you'd sneak up at night to the boy's dormitory just to send me over some Chocolate Frogs just to cheer me up, knowing that I'd still be awake by then. You'd also slip in some small notes in to my things with some cute little images of flowers and smileys just to make sure I'd smile even once in a day. And that was 6th year mind you. you tried to act childishly just to make me happy. And damnit it didn't make things easier for me. Your acts of concern only made me feel that you are the one that I want to love for the rest of my life, if that is possible of course. It was silly wasn't it? I was down with a problem unmentionable that I didn't even dare to tell Harry about, but he found out sooner than I expected anyway, and YOU, Hermione Jane Granger, were my problem. It's mad. I thought I was to lose my mind.
And what could be worse than that?
Seeing you sneaking some notes to Malfoy when his father passed away was. How I hated to confront you about it! But of course no one is to stop me, is there? I was thinking, what the bloody hell were you doing? Of course I never understood how your mind works but I tried. Harry, Ginny, and I tried to comprehend what you were doing. It took some while for me to get the bigger picture. After you've explained why you were doing that for, I saw something else in your eyes. I couldn't say love, for at that moment I knew you were just getting down with some girly thing for people dying and losing the ones they love (I don't' know what word to fit it in). I of course detested to your plans, of which appeared to me that there was no plan at all. For the first time in her life, Hermione Granger wasn't with a plan. She was actually acting on impulse. She was acting upon her gut feel. And I didn't take it quite easily did I? Well you would not have known anyway. You were busy trying to get Malfoy talking to you so I didn't expect you to be there when you were, again, my problem.
That act alone surprised me. If the whole mage world knew about our story, they would have been just as taken aback as Harry and I were. But I never thought that there was something else that could surprise us even more. . .
Draco Malfoy had agreed to be on civil terms with you.
What could be odder than that? Imagine the great Slytherin Prefect- Quidditch Captain-Wizarding and Muggle World Heartthrob had agreed, at last, to be on speaking terms with you. I saw that it also took him a while to trust you. Slytherins do not trust easily, of course. But he eventually did.
And what I hated about the whole thing was that he lost the hate in his eyes. He never glared at Harry and I the same way he did before. Of course Malfoy would hate us for trying to outwit him and his plans but he lost all his plan of putting up his smugness. He lost everything that he tried to put up as his own reputation, without trying to get some hand-over reputation from his father and his ancestors. You broke the evil in him, if I may say so. And no one else saw that except me. Mione, I saw how everything progressed from gradually receding hatred to pure understanding. And everyone else thought it was just you and Malfoy trying to hang around with each other because you were the prettiest people at Hogwarts! How thick could they get?
Harry tried telling me to ignore it all. But how was I to do that when envy was raging mad inside me? I've surrendered to taking muggle sleeping pills at night just to have me asleep through the disturbing images that pops into my mind. I've imagines you two snogging at Hogsmeade and sneaking into broom closets while taking prefect rounds. I've seen everything so clearly in my head I was too afraid they were already true. Mum had tried cheering me up too, after she knew from Ginny, who unfortunately spilled it to Mum that I've been secretly having some affections for you. she'd make more and more jumpers in different colours but did she really expect that would cheer me up? She sent over mince pies and sweets but I never got to fancy devouring all of them or else I'd get as stout as Dudley Dursley is.
Eating myself, trying to force myself to myself wasn't the remedy for it. I swear I would have cursed myself on how long it took me to figure out the solution to my problem.
It was only in telling you, at last, how I was feeling for you and all that, that I could get my peace of mind again. Nothing but that could give my mind some rest from constant delusional day dreams and nightmares.
And now, I'm reliving the night of the party of 4th year Yule Ball. My feelings haven't changed Mione. . . only that it has developed into a more matured understanding of respecting your decisions and simply supporting your plans and happiness that I could express with pride these feelings I have for you.
I love you Mione. Before, now and through the days to come.
It just pains me to see you with Malfoy. How you two seemed perfect for each other whenever you' walk past me and Harry. I've seen how you smiled around him---there is a different glow to it. And Mione, I can't make you smile like that. It's only Malfoy who could. He is your happiness, I know. He could appeal to you as the answer to your prayers, and that is why, it pains me more so accepting that fact. I have been summoning for all the miracle to happen that one day you'd be mine. That at last, after the long struggles with my inner self, I could shout to all the worlds that I have won the heart of the woman I most loved.
But I could never have you Mione. You have Malfoy. And I know he feels the same way for you. I've seen how you've changed every bit of Malfoy's life into something unbelievably real and content, something that even old wise wizards could not do.
You've never openly admitted to us how you really feel about him. I doubt if you would. But I have seen it all in the different glimmer in our eyes. You are happy with him. And yes, you might as well be happy with our company but it wouldn't be the same with Malfoy, isn't it? You love him don't you? You wouldn't have gone through all the trouble if you've never felt anything unusual for him. And you don't have to pain me by telling us what you really do feel for that ferret. And he wouldn't need to admit anything either. I've seen with my two eyes Mione. You two are just biding the right time when to reveal your true emotions. And the hell I hate this. I know it's to come soon. It's not far that he'll ask for you to commit yourself with him. Shit.
I don't see why you have to choose him. I've told you how I felt for you. I suppose that Krum had also done the same, only more frequently than I did, as I only said it once before. You've denied Krum of your emotions, and he was particularly nice and modest, gentleman even, grounded despite fame, but you've denied him of your heart. If I've been made a girl, I would have pounced on him at once and say yes without him asking. What were you thinking Mione? I would have understood if you rejected me, but Krum? Krum? He has enough wealth to sustain you two for a lifetime, and I don't. I would probably end up working 24 hours a day without coming home just to have you to eat something for each meal. He's quite good-looking, on some standard, and I'm just the thin, tall, freckled redhead who's a shame to the whole wizarding world how I end up bloody scarlet after some round. I mean, who am I compared to Krum? He's got all the attention of Quidditch enthusiasts and witches who knows a bit about Quidditch, trying as hard to appear they do know something. . . he's got the sex appeal, as older witches would say, and what do I have? Jeez, I've been lucky to have a silly rat for a pet who's been Voldemort's servant all those time. Come on, who was I to Viktor Krum? And still, you didn't give him your full attention.
To make the whole idea worse, I was nothing to you, and Krum too. . . so what chance do I have with Malfoy? That ruddy Draconis Benedict Marcus August Leighton Malfoy, as he hailed throughout the corridor, which sure gave Harry and I a whole day of a fit with his rather unusually long and funny-looking name. See, I'm Ronald Bilius Weasley. I've only got three names and Malfoy's got six. Even in name, I look like a blast-ended skrewt beside the Whomping Willow! And by height---I'm only a 6'1" and he's 6'3". He could always beat me at something of course, and he's got long limbs to match his measure. He's a blonde, I'm ginger. He's got gray eyes, I've got blue. He's got a prefect thin nose, and I've just a---just a thin nose. . . a long nose, alright. He knows how to carry himself around, as if he's on a ramp or something, while I carelessly walk around, oblivious to everything else. He got in the Quidditch team by second year. I got in at 5th. He's got an offer to play for different International Quidditch teams, and I still have to audition for substitute, if worse comes to worst. He's best in Potions and I'm third to Harry and Neville for last. He's second to you in almost all subjects and I'm nowhere near that. He takes Advanced Arithmancy and manages Divination while I'm somewhere near to having a failing mark. His family's got the connections at that ruddy Ministry. I've only one father trying to fit in the Ministry, and a brother who's trying to suck up the whole of the Ministry. He's got everything he wanted, and I barely get new clothes even as a birthday present. He's got the Malfoy Mansion now that his git father is dead. I live in the small Burrow. He bought the broomsticks of the whole Slytherin Quidditch Team, and it wasn't cheap either, I've only gotten a broomstick because I was made prefect, a great endeavour for my parents of course. He's got your heart. I don't.
What point of comparison exists between him and I? He was perfection and I was all-fault. The imaginary line drawn between him and I had completely erased itself due to the fact that we are complete opposites, extremes, to be more precise.
And that alone, the fact that Draco Malfoy is the epitome of perfection, could win any girl's heart. But I suppose you saw something far more than that in him. For I know, having lived with you for almost seven years, that nothing like wealth and popularity would draw your emotions to a certain bloke. I could prove that with the fact that you've never fallen in love with Harry despite the fact that he too, had grown out beautifully of his ruffled hair and scar on his forehead. It was either him or Malfoy on witch's magazine and I would only have the tiniest picture somewhere inside one issue just to mention "Harry Potter's Faithful Sidekick". I've never gotten myself my own distinction, now have I? I've never wanted to be Harry's sidekick, you know that too well. I've ranted too many times before about it. You know how I envied Harry getting all the attention. And now, I have to contend with two. The great Harry Potter and the handsome Draco Malfoy.
Oh you know it would poor people, we're always left with the crumbs.
I reckon it would have been better to live-off as a house elf who gets free food and boarding aside from the death threats and assaults of course, than being a impoverished Weasley who takes up a small corner in the Weasley's residence, smaller still, than the space that our ghoul occupies at the attic.
But that's not the point anyway. I just wanted to tell you again that my feelings for you are still alive, Mione.
I just couldn't explain it why I was pushed to write this mail. I haven't made anything else like this---even if it was Snape's usual dreadful essays.
And yeah, forget about the rabbles. I just want to remind you to be careful around Malfoy. He might be showing you his good side, but you wouldn't really know. I'm just dead worried about your safety is all. I've been seeing more significant omens in my tea cups. . . Um, yeah, I've been reading tea leaves from Trelawney's lessons when I get bored and somehow, I've managed to get a few good tries at it. And lately, there've been omens of death---of whom, I'm not quite sure. I don't want to take it seriously though, after knowing that Trelawney is nothing more than a colourful bat. Just have your eyes open at all times. Harry and I will be sure to be there for you if any danger comes.
Take care sweetie. Give that Malfoy some good spanking if he does something ill at you.
Still your good friend, Ron
P.S. I'm quiet sure you're glad to find out that I've managed to write a longer letter than your shortest essay for Professor Binns.
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Ronald Weasley's love and resentment letter. . . Sent. Kept. Unread.
~Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns characters, setting, etc. Except: the plot is mine.~
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YAY! Last letter!
Please hold on for the last-chapter! It's like an epilogue of some sort of what happened after the letters were given, what were not true, what turned up, and what they saw from behind the parchment that Ron used to write his mail on. You will find out what really happened after the incident with the Death Eaters and that some rumours revolving the incident were not true at all.
[rolls on the floor laughing my ass off]
I'm demented. That's one thing for sure *snickers*.
BE sure to read the last part alright! Ron's letter is not the end of it! You'll be missing half of your life [for this fic, anyway] if you aren't going to read the epilogue!!!
Oh yes, standard form of reminder : PLEASE REVIEW! [yay! I'm back on my writing mood again!]