Boy Meets Alien Chapter 9

            Spuddy gingerly sat down.  He wished the other boy on the bench beside him would take a hint and go away, but he seemed to be preoccupied with his own thoughts, and not likely to bother him, so he supposed he could share the bench for awhile.  It was sort of a cloudy day, the kind Spuddy always suspected would never get better, but as his psychiatrist assured him, always did – if only for a little while.  It had been a long walk from his house.  He leaned back and tried to ignore the sullen boy still sitting there beside him.

Dib sat leaned back on the bench in the middle of the park.  He stared ahead, not really seeing anything.  Except that squirrel over there that was strangely preoccupied with its own crotch.  Wow, he was really going at it.  Sure is too bad *people* can't bend like that. . .

"Sex!  Geez!"

Spuddy turned his head.  "What?"

Dib stared at a passing cloud.  He seemed to be a little shell-shocked. "It was only sex!" 

After waiting fruitlessly for further explanation, Spuddy cocked his head, and against his better judgement, asked again, "What?"

Not hearing, Dib continued his conversation with the passing cloud.  Or possibly the self-pleasuring squirrel.  "Not even sex!  Just. . .whatever *that* was.  Geez!  Just. . .geez!"

            Spuddy had an odd feeling in his stomach.  Kind of like he was about to puke.  But his psychiatrist had told him that was just nerves, that he shouldn't be afraid of social contact.  He'd been getting better lately – he could do this.  He swallowed hard. 

            "Um. . .geez what?  How like sex?"  Spuddy asked of the boy beside him.

            Dib looked over, and for the first time noticed the boy on the bench nearby, starting at him with wide eyes.  He was younger. . .no, he was definitely older. . .those eyes were just so curious and vulnerable, like an overgrown puppy.  Dib twiddled his thumbs and looked away, but somehow didn't feel as embarrassed as he usually was at being caught mid-rant.  Something about the boy just made him really want to confide in him.

            "Well. . .I suppose it *was*, sort of. . .But I didn't like it!  I mean. . .maybe I did, a little."  Dib blushed a bit.  "But PREGNANT!!  Who gets pregnant just – just like that?"  Dib stared ahead for a moment, and the bare thought of it made him start hyperventilating. 

            Then he stopped.  "I wonder if I could get onto Mysterious Mysteries again?"  The thought distracted him for a moment, before he remembered why there was a knot in his stomach the size of a very large ham. 

            "AAAAAAAAAGH!!"  Dib screamed finally, releasing several week's worth of frustration in one burst. 

            "What!?  What!!???"  Demanded Spuddy, his knuckles white as he clung to the bench, eyes darting madly.  It had looked to him as though Dib had seen something unspeakably horrible in the sky near them (although in fact Dib saw nothing except the image of Zim in his mind). 

            "And he's having the babies right now-"

            "He's –?"

            "When I tried to get help!  I called every planet in his stupid phonebook-file-thing.  It doesn't even matter – it's too late!  My Dad shoved me out of the room but I saw him all. . ."  Dib took a few panicked breaths "All spewing. . .green. . .stuff. . .the same colour as his skin –"

            "G-g-green skin?"  Squeeked Spuddy, eyes wide.  He drew his legs up towards himself in a protective ball.

            "-When he asked me, he asked *me* to. . ."  Dib shook his head.  "He said Dib-human, help me."

            There was a pause as both parties on the bench wallowed in their own personal hell. 

            "You?  *You're*. . .Dib?"  Spuddy finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

            Dib stared off into nothing.  He started chuckling, his voice low and cracking.

            "Heh heh heh. . ."  Spuddy joined in, pupils drawn to a pinprick and a manic grin on his face.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!"  Dib screamed as the reality of his situation finally made its full impact.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!"  Spuddy screamed as his fragile mind began to crumble.

**************************

Log:  Membrane, Professor
05/23/15 20:15 UTC/GMT -5 hours
Subject:  Non-terran carbon-based entity.  (Designated:  Zim)

The subject has been in a coma-like state for 84.31 hours.

Symptoms continued since 05/12/15:
-Cyber-organic spinal attachment ('Pak') producing energy beyond its normal capacity. 
-All body heat concentrated in abdominal area (loss of nerve functions in 10% of outer limb tissue)
-Sporadic depletion of energy to non-reproductive organs (enzyme/hormone production glands, digestive tubes, toxin processors (liver), heart, brain) increases at a rate of 3.2% every 24hrs.

Total collapse of peripheral organs (enzyme/hormone production glands, digestive tubes, toxin processors, heart, brain) estimated in 12.39 days.

05/22/15 03:31
Birthing began 0.2 hours ago.
Personal notes (audio file):  IT HAS BEGUN!!!

05/24/15 02:10
Birthing began at a rate of 459.5 feti per minute (27568.75 feti per hour)
Total feti birthed: 1202701
Surviving feti:  0
Sporadic depletion of energy to non-reproductive organs(enzyme/hormone production glands, digestive tubes, toxin processors, heart, brain) in subject (Designated:  Zim) has increased by a rate of 5% an hour. 
Personal notes (audio file):   AAAARGHH!   The slime!!  The blood!!  It's horrible!!  So HORRIBLE!!!!!  AAAAARGH!!!!

05/26/15 04:25

Birthing has lowered drastically and steadied at a rate of 8.7 per minute. Total feti birthed: 1247737
Surviving feti: 0
Sporadic depletion of energy to non-reproductive organs(enzyme/hormone production glands, digestive tubes, toxin processors, heart, brain) in subject has begun to reduce at a rate of 1.4% an hour. 
Personal notes (audio file):  They always told me that it was impossible, but today I have proved them wrong, because I, PROFESSOR MEMBRANE, have PERFECTED the art of the 10 second nap!!

05/28/15 05:42
Birth rate holding at 5.89 per minute.
Surviving feti:  4
Projected total surviving infants (1-day) based on current rate:  44
Projected total surviving infants (10-day) based on current rate and chance of further abnormalities/complications caused by terran/non-terran genetic mix:  15
Personal notes (audio file):  III have achieved GRANDFATHER status!!!

05/30/15 15:54
Birthing ended 30 minutes ago.
Scans show no further birth-organ related activity.
Feti total:  1,276,382
Surviving feti total:  17

Status of subject (designated: Zim):   Total collapse of peripheral organs (enzyme/hormone production glands, digestive tubes, toxin processors, heart, brain) as well as reproductive organs.  Cyber-organic spinal attachment ('Pak') producing unregulated surges at 2.1% of normal level.

Personal notes (audio file): 

ZZZzzzzzzz. . .

Professor?  Professor Membrane?  This is Simmons. . .we need you back at the lab, Professor!  We need you like no lab has ever needed a master, like no man has ever needed a woman. . .Professor?  Professor?!?

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . .