On The Inside
Diary Entry: Squid
A/N: I don't know who wrote the poem I've got at the beginning of this
entry, but it wasn't me. I don't own it, if you do, please don't sue me.
I'm going to paint a picture,
A picture with a twist.
I'll do it with a razor blade,
I'll do it on my wrist.
I cut myself today, for the first time in ages. I'd forgotten how much it
hurt, and how much I liked it to hurt.
All my scars are faded so no one noticed, but no one noticed when I first
got here and they were fresh.
I wonder if they'll notice if I cut deep enough to hit the vein. Probably
not, I've spent my whole life in the shadows, why should now be any
different?
I'm getting sent back home in five months, back to hell, back to being
called trailor trash and being smacked every frikkin' day.
If only I wasn't such a smartass. It ain't my fault, once something comes
into my head I have to say it, I can't help myself.
I widh I was perfect, then my Ma wouldn't have no reason to smack me.
The problem is, I'm too much, too loud, too angry, too fat... if only I
could lose a little weight, just a little bit before I see my Ma again. I
take up too much space.
Maybe I could just stop talking. Zero never talked, 'cept to Caveman. I
guess I'd have to talk to Zigzag, he's my best friend and he'd go even
crazier without me. But maybe not, he seems kinda distant lately, in fact,
everyone seems kinda distant. Maybe they've decided not to waste their time
on me.
I wish we had mirrors here, or scales. I wish I knew how much I weighed, so
I'd know how much I had to lose.
I just... I dunno. I wish Ziggy would talk to me. He spends all his time
watching that stupid broken tv or talking to himself. He doesn't care
anymore.
If I slashed my wrists right now, he wouldn't care, no one would... not
even me.
Next: Zigzag.
Diary Entry: Squid
A/N: I don't know who wrote the poem I've got at the beginning of this
entry, but it wasn't me. I don't own it, if you do, please don't sue me.
I'm going to paint a picture,
A picture with a twist.
I'll do it with a razor blade,
I'll do it on my wrist.
I cut myself today, for the first time in ages. I'd forgotten how much it
hurt, and how much I liked it to hurt.
All my scars are faded so no one noticed, but no one noticed when I first
got here and they were fresh.
I wonder if they'll notice if I cut deep enough to hit the vein. Probably
not, I've spent my whole life in the shadows, why should now be any
different?
I'm getting sent back home in five months, back to hell, back to being
called trailor trash and being smacked every frikkin' day.
If only I wasn't such a smartass. It ain't my fault, once something comes
into my head I have to say it, I can't help myself.
I widh I was perfect, then my Ma wouldn't have no reason to smack me.
The problem is, I'm too much, too loud, too angry, too fat... if only I
could lose a little weight, just a little bit before I see my Ma again. I
take up too much space.
Maybe I could just stop talking. Zero never talked, 'cept to Caveman. I
guess I'd have to talk to Zigzag, he's my best friend and he'd go even
crazier without me. But maybe not, he seems kinda distant lately, in fact,
everyone seems kinda distant. Maybe they've decided not to waste their time
on me.
I wish we had mirrors here, or scales. I wish I knew how much I weighed, so
I'd know how much I had to lose.
I just... I dunno. I wish Ziggy would talk to me. He spends all his time
watching that stupid broken tv or talking to himself. He doesn't care
anymore.
If I slashed my wrists right now, he wouldn't care, no one would... not
even me.
Next: Zigzag.