A/N: I really should not be writing a new fic. I should, most definently, not be writing a new fic. But I had… a sudden burst of creative inspiration! (Garcon ch. 5 is almost done, check in about a week for that)
You see, I'm sick of all these fics where Ginny goes away and comes back a "changed woman" and Draco finally notices her blah blah blah. So, I decided to make a bit of a parody. What if Ginny and Draco were together, she goes away, and falls OUT of love with him? Don't worry, I'll make it humorous.
The title is from a song by Elliott Smith, aptly entitled Easy Way Out from his CD titled Figure 8. A remarkable piece of work, one of my favorite albums. The lyrics are also going to work along with this story (GO! READ LYRICS! YOU'LL SEE!)
I'm not going to promise that this story will turn out happy. I have no idea HOW it's going to turn out, yet (I never do when I start these things…) But I promise that I'm not going to abandon anything else. I'm going to take down WIRED and re-write parts of it in the next couple weeks, and make sure that I know where I'm taking TIKI, cos it's currently halted at a "standstill" kind of point.
Characters-
Pretty-yet-naive-at-inconvenient-times!Ginny
Conceited-Prat-Bastard!Draco
Homosexual!Colin
Dashing!Winthrop
Borderline-Insanity!Hermione
Abercrombie-model!Ron
And, everyone's favorite,
Stupid!Harry
So, without further ado-
The Easy Way Out
You'll take advantage 'til you think you're being used
Cos without an enemy your anger gets confused
"Oooooh… colors…"
"Harry, will you stop staring at the ceiling fan?! I have packing to do!" Ginny sighed, exasperated, as the object of her childhood adoration was enamored with her brand new ceiling fan in her flat. "I always feel like I'm babysitting you, these days. I'm going to Aunt Marian's house, and you offered to help me pack my belongings. Are you intending to help or not?!"
Harry's glazed-over eyes kept following the ceiling fan, "I don't have one of these… it's so very beautiful," he paused for a moment in observation, "How sweet is love itself possessed, when but love's shadows are so rich in joy…"
Ginny paused for a second, her fingers wrapped around a white silk blouse. She looked over to the lovesick Harry and back to the garment draped in her hands. Rolling her eyes, she glanced over at the stupid boy again. He was twenty-six, and one of the most famous Aurors the Wizarding world had ever seen. Intelligent, cultured, yet obviously lacking something…
"Ginny…"
Was it a stable income, she pondered? No, scratch that. Aurors made enough as it was.
"… Ginny Gin Gin…"
Or was it a decent home?
"… Ginnnnnnyyyyy…"
Or what about his personal life?
"… GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU STUPID BASTARD?!"
"It's three o'clock."
Ginny sighed, exasperated once more. "What's so special about three o'clock?"
Harry rolled his eyes, "You have date with Demon-spawn at three thirty." He nodded, all-knowingly.
Demon-spawn… Demon-spawn… the name didn't seem to register…
Snakes and spiders room of requirement butterflies floaty feelings rich conceited bastard marriage Parkinson mudblood Malfoy ferret Draco.
Date with Draco. Half an hour. To get ready.
Ginny shrieked suddenly and threw off her clothes in the middle of the room. Harry shielded his eyes and hid under the fluffy futon. He had grown used to her impulsive, frantic actions whenever Draco was mentioned. She ran to her closet in a frenzied mood and hurriedly looked through absolutely everything she owned. Harry waited until the noise had stopped and poked his head out slowly.
"WHERE THE BLOODY FUCK ARE MY FISHNETS?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and ran into the restroom.
Harry went back to looking at the ceiling fan.
"I think I will name you… Delilah," he stated, professionally, and kept staring.
***
Draco wanted to break the clock. It kept making such a frantic ticking noise that he had grown very tired of the object on the wall.
Tick… tock… tick… tock… tick…
He looked down again at the ring in his hand, slowly stroking the green emerald with his finger and sighing. He couldn't do this. He didn't have enough confidence to do this.
He set the ring on the table aristocratically, and slowly stared at it, deciding to practice his delivery. Clearing his throat, he prepared-
"Ginny, will you please pass the salt? Oh, by the way, will you marry me?" No, he thought, too casual. Way too casual. This needed to have purpose.
"Virginia, darling, I would like to make a marriage of our two minds, so that we may think as one and be united for all eternity. I want you to share everything I possess, and…" Draco realized that the salt shaker was beginning to look bored. He couldn't determine how it was possible that he could make business deals quite easily, yet couldn't even manage to make a goddamn proposal of marriage properly. He had the sudden, fleeting thought of placing a ring in her champagne glass, but he figured that she would choke on it. He glanced down at the blue velvet box in his hand, silently stroking it with one slender finger. She needed to know the extent of his adoration for her.
"Ginny, will you marry me?" He grinned. Perfection at last. He suddenly heard a noise, and hid the box in his coat pocket quite hastily.
With a graceful crash, Ginny entered the restaurant for a late lunch with a Mr. Draco Malfoy. He squirmed anxiously, waiting for her to spot him in the corner. She obliged, and strolled over to his table wearing a rather adventurous combination of green fishnets, a black silk skirt, and a black and white striped cashmere sweater. It perfectly accentuated her curves (A/N: I needed to insert that sentence, somewhere!) and made Draco rather skittish.
"Eergh… durn… meh… pff…" He scolded himself internally for making such a fool of himself.
Ginny just laughed, "Oh dear. I seem to have a 'breathtaking' effect on you. Maybe I'm just perfect?"
He looked down and pretended to be occupied with looking at something on the table before speaking softly, "Maybe you are."
***
The lunch went rather well, with only a couple embarrassing moments on Ginny's part. Or so she figured. Draco was always perfect to her. She glanced down lazily at her watch, waiting for her chocolate mousse, noticing that it was suddenly 4 pm.
Her flight was supposed to leave at 5 pm. On the dot.
"Ginny, there's something I need to ask y-you…" The man of her dreams stammered but mumbled something.
"Draco, darling, speak louder. I have to leave for my flight!" She gathered her belongings and slowly put everything back in her purse.
"Umm… umm… err… do you have any gum?" He sighed uneasily and looked down, embarrassed. For a moment, Ginny had thought that he was going to ask… something else.
She smiled and laughed softly, shooting another glance at the clock, "Well, I wish you luck with everything, and I'll be back in two weeks! Don't forget me!"
Draco Malfoy nodded enthusiastically, charming a childlike look on his face, "I won't."
Ginny made her way out the door, not hearing his cry of, "Wait, Ginny, I wanted to ask whether you would…"
The door slammed.abruptly.
"… marry me."
***
Alright, next chapter should be done by the end of this week. In the meantime, I'll start making revisions on WIRED (and a new chapter of Think Twice, if Margaret keeps threatening to beat me up if I don't). Also- any complaints? Send away to the_impostor@mail2studio54.com and I'll be sure to answer whatever you're asking. Or, if you're just rude and illiterate, I'll verbally abuse you.
3 Clare/Ming/Killtheposeurs