GI Joe: The Movie, Evo-tized!
Hello, Misfit fans, East and West alike! This is L1701E! Now we all know about GI Joe: The Movie. But what if it featured the East and West Coast Misfits? Well, this is how I think it would happen! This fic will have new characters, and a Misfit's vicious streak will be revealed to the world! Now, enjoy this story!
Disclaimer: No characters are mine except the ones I created, and the ones belonging to Red Witch and others, including a very special appearance from a surprise author's OC.
To Red Witch: Don't worry, Virus will lose it! BTW, has anyone noticed Virus appears to be slowly becoming a madman?
To Raliena: So can I, Rae. So can I. It's so funny!
To Metal Dragon1: Great! I can't wait? When will Razor make another appearance?
To Wizard1: Well, here you are! And when's Chapter Four of "Karaoke Dance Party" coming out?
It's Profile Time Again! *crowd hoots, cheers, and hollers* Anyway, now we look at a non-mutant member of my Evo-verse Avengers, the world's first super-powered rocker, the fearless, the fabulous, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor!
Kid Razor
Real Name: Robert Redford Parkins
Class: Mystically-enhanced human
Hair: Brown (Short, as Bobby), Blond (Long, as Razor)
Allegiance: Avengers
Powers: The source of the Fearless Kid Razor's powers is his magical guitar. The guitar generates a mystical energy known as the Power of Rock. When he is in his Razor form, Robert Parkins possesses superhuman level agility, reflexes, flexibility, and reaction time. He also has superhuman hearing and a sense of balance that allows him to even walk tightropes without falling.
His guitar also allows Razor to fly, shoot powerful energy beams from its head, and create protective forcefields. It has been recently discovered that when his forcefields are up, Razor is immune to all forms of telepathic probing, attack, and detection.
The most unique power Razor possesses is what's known as his "physical invulnerability". Razor cannot be hurt by pressure or physical blows, even though he feels the pain. However, Razor can be shot, stabbed, or impaled unless he gets a forcefield up.
As Razor, the part of Bobby's brain that controls fear is closed down, causing Razor to become truly fearless.
Birthplace: Cleveland, Ohio
Bio: Born and raised in Cleveland, Bobby Parkins is the only son of George and Brenda Parkins, local businessmen. At the age of six, Bobby was given karate lessons as a birthday present, and he's studied ever since. As a kid, Bobby grew to love martial arts, comedy, pro wrestling, and his father's collection of classic rock records. At seven, Bobby took up guitar, and dreamed of being a rocker, despite suffering slight stage fright.
As a teen, Bobby joined a band known as the Firecrackers, consisting of his friends Ronald "Rip" Jones on guitar and vocals, his girlfriend Wendy Anderson on lead guitar, Tommy Baines on drums, Tommy's older brother Alex on bass, and Daniel "Fingers" Carrington on keyboard (Fingers is a mutant, but his mutation is his green hair. Cleveland is a very mutant-friendly city). One day, Bobby bought a guitar at a pawn shop that contained the spirit of his musical idol, glam rocker Ronnie Rocker.
Bobby discovered he could tap into a mystical energy known as the Power of Rock, transforming him to a mighty warrior. As Razor, Bobby's short brown hair turned into a long blond lion's mane. Bobby, a normally shy kid, found that as Razor, he was fearless, cocky, and quick with quips and kicks. Using these powers, he battled a dimension-conquering demon known as Xantor. Razor was aided by Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and the Avengers. Ronnie became a mentor to Razor, helping him with control issues.
At this point, his mystical-based powers came to the attention of the New York Hellfire Club's Black Queen, the immortal mutant sorceress known as Selene. She used her crystal ball to watch over the rocker, unbeknownst to him. She watched him battle enemies like Tusk (An egomanical mutant who has a wooly mammoth's head), Dr. Reptile (A scientist who got transformed into a reptilian creature and went crazy), Sonic Blue (A teenage armored genius who has super speed and sonic blasts. He reformed and now aids Razor on occasion), The Maestro (An insane classical composer with a destructive violin), Iron Maiden (A mutant woman with powers like the X-Man Colossus), and the Punker (An anarchist with superhuman strength, durability, and a sonic scream). When Selene revealed herself to Razor, she requested the guitar, claiming she could help Razor unlock its true power. When he refused, she trapped Ronnie in the Astral Plane through a necklace with a jade music-note pendant she wears around her neck simply to amuse herself. Razor swore vengeance and pledge to someday drive his guitar through her heart.
Razor accepted Captain America's invitation to join the Avengers, and he's been their resident rock 'n' roller ever since. His jokes and quips have caused him to have different relationships with different people. He hates the X-Man Cyclops, and he thinks of former X-Man Jubilation Lee, aka Jubilee, who has a major crush on him, as an annoyance.
As an Avenger, Razor has worked alongside the X-Men, and both the East and West Coast Misfits. He thinks of the Misfits as a fun bunch, and the X-men as a bunch of prudes, even though he does have respect for Wolverine (Razor's favorite X-Man to joke about is Storm. He constantly refers to her as Tina Turner as a joke.).
Chapter 1: Prelude to Problems!
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(The Pit, Medical Ward)
Kyle James Wildfire, the cocky Boston-born electrokinetic codenamed Thunderbolt, walked into the GI Joe Medical Bay. He was holding his arm, bloodied because he got it gashed. And today, for unknown reasons, he was in a particularly foul mood today.
"Hey!" He called into the room. "The Thunderbolt's arm is causing the Thunderbolt to bleed to death! Lifeline! Bree!"
"They're not here." An unfamiliar voice said. Kyle walked in and found a girl clad in a backless green-and-black uniform with high white boots and green visor, and her hair in a blond bob. However, she appeared to be Indian, and she had flesh-colored antenna, solid green eyes, and insect-like wings sprouting from her back. Kyle jumped back a bit.
"What the $%#& are you?" Kyle hollered. "What are you?! Some kind of reject from a cheap monster movie?! Who is the dead monkey behind this sick joke?! Oh I'll bet that jabroni Sushi is behind this! Oh when I get my hands on him, I'm gonna fry his…" Kyle snarled, electricity building up around his free fist. "Where is he, bug-girl?" The insect-girl picked up a clipboard.
"Kyle Wildfire." She read from a file. "Alias Thunderbolt. A member of the West Coast Misfits. You can fly, and create and shape electricity. Caution must be taken because subject has great power, big mouth, and hot temper." She smiled. "No kidding." She looked up at Kyle. "Lina Chakram. They call me Dragonfly. I'm the new medic."
"Whoopie." Kyle grumbled, jumping on the bed. Kyle tended to look down on medics. "That idiot Sunfire slashed my arm with his katana! He was trying to kill me!"
"From what I heard, he accidentally slashed it." Lina examined Kyle's arm. "It's not too bad."
"NOT TOO BAD?! WHAT KIND OF A MEDIC ARE YOU!?!?" Kyle roared in her face. "I NEARLY BLED TO DEATH HERE, YOU STUPID BUG!!!" Lina cleaned her ears. She was warned about Kyle's temper and his mouth, but he seemed really angry today, like he was in a terrible mood. "Since you know so much about the Thunderbolt, you can tell me about your powers."
"I can fly, my wings can slice steel as well as generate powerful winds accompanied by a sonic blast if they flap fast enough, and I have this." She spat some of her healing silk on Kyle. The wrestler's son wretched.
"That's sick! Get it off! Yech, that's disgusting!" Kyle hollered.
"It's not spit, Blunderbolt. It's silk. My silk has healing abilities." Lina smiled. Kyle smirked outwardly, but he seethed inwardly. He HATED being called "Blunderbolt".
"Goody. Those wings can slice steel?" Kyle asked.
"Yes." Lina replied, walking to get a bandage to help Kyle heal. Kyle laughed.
"Well then, the Thunderbolt would love to see you slash some Cobra heads off with those things!" Kyle grinned. Lina turned to him and shook her head.
"No." She said. "I'm a medic. I'm a non-combatant. I'm not a fighter." Kyle's face paled. He looked horrified and disappointed. For some reason, he felt his blood boil. He felt this surge of anger towards her.
"Really?" Kyle said darkly. "That's a shame. But you know what they say…" Lina blinked.
"What?"
"That it's not the powers, it's the willingness to use them." Kyle warned. "The Thunderbolt believes that sometime, the only way to stop something or solve a problem is to resort to violence." He added the last part as a joke: "If you don't have to, resort to it anyway." Lina shook her head.
"That's not a very wise philosophy, Kyle." She said, wrapping the bandage.
"So you are a coward." Kyle shook his head. "Figures. At least Lifeline had the guts to face Sabertooth."
"I'm not Lifeline. And just because I'm a medic, that does not mean I am a coward." Lina said. Kyle walked away.
"Whatever." He waved.
"Wait, Kyle…" Lina realized. "You're on the West Coast Team! Why are you in the Pit?"
"Ahh, the Malibu Joes and us are here to help protect some funny-looking device. They call it the B.L.T. or somethin'." Kyle grumbled. On the way out, down the hall near the infirmary, Kyle ran into his older brother Jake.
"Hey Kyle." The East Coast Misfit codenamed Red Dragon said. "What's up? I see you met our new medic."
"Yeah." Kyle shrugged. "She seems like a bit of a chicken to me. You know, the type that runs away at the sight of their own shadow?"
"Kyle, she's had it rough." Jake said. "Her parents disowned her and said she was a monster."
"HA!" Kyle laughed. "She couldn't scare that jabroni Duncan Matthews! And everything spooks that dumb ape!" Kyle laughed. Jake noticed the bandage.
"What happened?" Jake nodded at the bandage. Kyle looked at it.
"Ah, that screwy Sushi tried to take my arm off."
"Funny. According to Toshi, you scared the bejesus out of him when you stomped into the dojo, yelling and screaming for no reason." Jake chuckled. Kyle glared.
"Look Jake, I am not in a good mood." Kyle growled.
"I noticed." Jake said. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine." Kyle stomped away. Jake shook his head. He knew his younger brother. He knew that Kyle had always had a bit of a short fuse. But something must've really got under his skin to bother him like this. He knew Sunfire and Thunderbolt never got along, but that was because they never could see eye-to-eye on anything, not because of hatred. I'll go talk to Toshiro. Maybe Sunfire knows something about this whole thing. Jake walked off, looking for the Solar Samurai.
Well, things are certainly off to a rough start. Why does Thunderbolt not like Dragonfly? What's with his mood? What are the West Coast Misfits and the Malibu Joes helping the East Coast Misfits and the Pit Joes protecting? What is Cobra up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!