Rose's Interview

[Tiff and Emma are sitting in their usual interview places, as Rose enters and takes the seat opposite them]

Tiff: Hi

Rose: Hiya

Emma: Hi, so what do you think you will bring to the island?

Rose: Well I was thinking maybe some clothes, couple of shoes, maybe some booze….

Tiff: We were talking about personality wise…

Rose: Oh…err…credit card!

Tiff: No personality!!

Rose: What? Oh…is that some sort of English word?

(Emma looks at Rose oddly, thinking My Gawd! What a dunce!)

Emma: Okay bring in the translator…

[A Buff looking man enters the room wearing a rather matrix like outfit, with the glasses and everything]

Translator: What would like doing?

Tiff: Translator this for us, okay? (Turning to the Translator)

Translator: Right

Tiff: So what do you think you will bring to the island?

Translator: What you buy on credit card for holiday?

Tiff: NO! We meant her personality….

Emma: *whispers* If she has one! *cough*

Translator: Oh right (Looks at Tiff then back to Rose) I see…what do on holiday?

Rose: Oh, I'd kinda like to do…stuff

Tiff: * whispers * we're getting nowhere here!

Emma: *Whispers back* I know, jeez…I think I need a coffee!

Tiff: Fine then just f*ck off!

Rose: Ohhhh, don't cuss!

Emma: Sh!t! (Rose's Eyes turn in to huge O's of horror) Sorry I spilt my coffee, its rather hot.

Tiff: Lets Try again, Rose…What….

[Scream of horror are heard, stopping Tiff from finishing her sentence followed by a large crash and loud voices coming from the other room]

[The voices, from the other room!]

Body Guard1: Mam, get of him you're strangling him!

Alyssa: No one insults me…I am the one and only Alyssa Milano…no one says that to me…especially not him! He must pay!

Brian: *coughing* B!tch

[Alyssa fly's at Brain with her handbag!]

[Back in the interviewing room]

Emma: I thought we told you to split them up! (Looks at Bodyguard no.2, who looks a bit scared, as is hiding in the interview room)

Bodyguard2: Well we tired…

Tiff: Cut the crap! (Rose gasps, and takes a huge gulp of her water) We hired you to a job, you listen to us…we, superior to you! GOT IT!?

Bodyguard2: Yes Miss…I understand.

Tiff: Well get your butt back in there…NOW!

[Bodyguard two turns to leave, but walks into the wall, and collapses!]

Emma: Someone cut the tape, please…. people are not going to want to see this (looks towards Brian and Alyssa fighting with handbags through the open door!)

Tiff: Give me that!

(Tiff snatches Camera, from Cameraman)

[Suddenly everything goes black]

[10 minutes later camera flickers and comes back on!]

Steven: So I am here filming this for you guys, If Tiff and Emma catch me I am a dead man, but this is so funny. You should have seen it! Although I did wonder why Brain was in pocession of a handbag! Alyssa beating Brain to a bloody pulp *chuckles* that guys a wimp never seen anyone run so fast! So lets take a look at them now…

[Camera zooms into the waiting room, of Tiff and Emma's building]

[Camera begins to move showing Alyssa with a black eye and hair all over the place, then to her right Brian his arm in a plaster and looking pretty beaten up]

Steven: I got a little footage from before…

[Tape begins to rewind visually, and then Steven stops it]

Steven: Okay here we go…

[Tape]

[Alyssa slams her handbag into Brains face a few times]

Alyssa: How long did it take you to get here Brain? - Had to make sure the fridge - light was off? -

[Brain stumbles backwards from the second hit, and then head buts Alyssa holding his own head in pain]

Brian: Ouch! I was just trying to save money, and how do we really know the light is off!

Alyssa: Oh gawd your so…

[Alyssa spots Steven with the tape]

Alyssa: Hey you turn that tape off!

[Steven doesn't do anything]

Alyssa: I said turn that tape off, [gets up and runs towards Steven]

Steven: Oh Sh!t she doesn't look to happy

Alyssa…Oh you little sh…

[The tape goes blank but not before the audience hear Steven cry out in pain]

[Cuts back to normal time]

Steven: And that is how…I got this!

[Turns camera to show his face, revealing two black eyes]

Tiff: Steven what are you doing?

Emma: He has the camera….

Steven *thinking* Oh no……..

[Camera goes blank once more!]

[Second Part to Rose's interview]

[Camera flicks back on...we see Rose once more in the same place, only this time her glass of water is empty!]

Tiff: Lets try again *sighs*

Emma: So lets skip the question we first asked you, are you a person who feels that they can get on well with other people?

Rose: Ummm...Yeah i would say so, i only have few people who want to kill me, but I think that's normal.

Tiff: Right, yup normal!

Emma: Okay...moving on! You are allowed to bring one luxury item what would you bring?

Rose: Defiantly my mobile phone.

Emma: Sorry no mobile phone's

Rose: WHAT!

Emma: Well otherwise you would have contact with the outside world...

Rose: Oh okay, we get a lot of money if we win right?

Tiff: *sighing* Yes

Rose: Then ummm, I will bring my favourite book.

Tiff: And what would that be

Emma: A self help book *mumbles to Tiff*

Rose: Its a joke book, I like to tell Joke's *she nods*

Emma: Great well I think that's all we need to know for now, unless you want to do something stupid on camera.

Tiff: I think you've already humiliated yourself enough actually...

Rose: Was that a nice thing to say or a bad thing? *looking at Tiff referring to what she last said*

Tiff: Oh it was a nice thing.

Rose: *smiles widely* Great!

[Gets up and leaves the room]