At the tender young age of thirteen, Michael Kelso had long since grown accustomed to the feeling of excitement he got--in his gut and somewhere a little lower--whenever a pretty girl was near. But he'd never actually had one sit on his lap before. He'd never actually had one put her arm around him, or twirl his hair between his fingers. This was a different kind of excitement he was feeling, similar, but more intense.
"So, to make a long story short," Jackie Burkhardt was saying, although her story seemed to Kelso to be anything but short, "Daddy got Lisa's daddy fired. That'll teach her to make fun of my hair."
"Yeah," Kelso replied noncommitally.
Jackie didn't notice. "You like my hair, don't you, Michael?" She leaned into the boy, forcing him to face the back of her head. Her hair smelled like vanilla.
"Uh-huh," was all he said.
"Oh, that's so sweet!" She put her hand on the back of his head. "I like your hair, too. You know, Michael, you're almost as pretty as me."
That caught Kelso's attention, but he said nothing. Since he had stopped needing the dreaded headgear, he had noticed that he was exceptionally good looking. At first, he thought it was just compared to his friends that he was such a stud, but then he realized that no, he was a stud compared to everyone. And although Jackie was pretty, her knees were a little knobby, her eyelashes weren't very long, and her teeth, while straight, were nowhere near as straight as his own.
"Michael, I just want to say that I think we make a really great couple."
Couple? Kelso began panicking. Yeah, he liked having the petite brunette sit on his lap, making him feel all...squidgy inside, with her legs swinging back and forth casually. He thought that was maybe the best thing that had ever happened to him concerning a member of the opposite sex. But he didn't want to get tied down just as he was discovering this whole new side to himself, or whatever you want to call it. He wanted to see some action, not be forced to make doe eyes at the same girl every day.
Luckily, Jackie hadn't been expecting an answer, because she began chattering incessantly once more. He wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. He rarely did. It wasn't that he was too captivated by his own thoughts. He really did have too many thoughts, at least any ones that were worth dwelling on. Nothing very deep. Mainly just "Hey, that girl is hot," and "Man, I'm starving." At that moment it was "I like Jackie, but I don't want to date her. How do I tell her that? She'll be crushed that such a good-looking guy like me would shoot her down."
But he was shook from his worry when the door of Forman's basement flew open, causing Jackie to hop guiltily off of Kelso's lap. He suddenly missed her presence.
"Oh," Jackie said with obvious distaste as she surveyed the young man who had entered the basement. "It's you."
"Oh," Steven Hyde replied, speaking to Kelso rather than to Jackie. "It's her. Why is she here?"
"We're, uh--"
"I'll have you know that we are dating." Hyde snorted, causing her to ask, "Oh, still too immature to understand the complex relationship that can happen between a girl and a boy."
"I'm mature enough to have gotten past second base," he said, face unsmiling, but a hint of amusement was clearly heard in his voice.
But Jackie didn't understand. "Second...base?"
"Never mind," Hyde said, disgusted by her presence. "Now, why don't you go home and spend some of Daddy's money?"
"I don't have to. I'm here with Michael."
"Excuse me," he said. "Let me rephrase that: GO HOME!"
The young brunette girl whirled around to face Kelso. "Come on, Michael. Let's go to a place where our love is understood."
"Um, actually," Kelso began nervously. He was afraid of that girl. She may have been tiny, but she clearly packed a punch. She wasn't afraid to let loose with those sharp fingernails and heavy makeup bag. "I was gonna stay here. With
Hyde. To...do guy stuff. You know, without girls." He flashed a pearly white smile.
She frowned at him. "But, he insulted me. And you still want to hang out him? MICHAEL!"
"I didn't actually insult you directly," Hyde put in helpfully.
"Yeah," Kelso said. "He didn't actually--"
"I HEARD HIM."
"Well, okay bye," Hyde said, quickly taking the girl by her slim shoulders and shoving her out the still-open door. Kelso could hear her stomp off.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. Clearly the girl was ga-ga for him. And who could blame her? She may have told dull stories, and she may have been slightly annoying, but, hell, so was Forman. And he still hung out with him....Of course, that might've had something to do with the free food and totally private basement space.
"Jackie Burkhardt?" Hyde yelled into his face. "Jackie Burkhardt? Jackie Burkhardt! Of all the people to blow off hormonal steam on, you choose Jackie Burkhardt?"
"Um, yeah," replied Kelso, not seeing what the big deal is.
"For Christ's sake, she's the devil."
"But she's pretty and she buys me things. Would the devil do that?"
Hyde blinked at his naive friend. "Of course the devil would do that. Do you think the devil's going to be ugly and poor? That that's how he's gonna get idiots like you to sign your soul over to him or whatever the hell the devil wants?" A pause. "Wait, what kind of stuff?"
"Records and magazines. And hair products."
"Do you think she'd maybe buy you some...other stuff?"
Kelso frowned, but, while frowning can make some people look like shit, he was still unbelievably good-looking for a thirteen-year-old boy. "What kind of other stuff? Like GI Joes?"
"NO!" He rolled his eyes. "I heard about some...stuff. It's apparently pretty good."
"Um...GI Joes are good."
"Not GI Joes, man." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Pot."
"Pots?"
Growing annoyed, Hyde slapped his friend in the back of the head. "Jesus, man, Kelso, I'm talking about drugs."
"Oh," Kelso replied, stretching the word out, clearly understanding. "Pot." He thought about it for a moment, and his face contorted oddly so he looked like he was constipated. "Yeah, I don't think Jackie would buy that."
"Damn it!"
"Where are gonna get pot anyway?"
Hyde shrugged and said, vaguely, "I know a guy who knows a guy."
"Oh?"
"His name's Leo. He'll sell me it. But I don't have enough cash."
Kelso laughed. "You don't have any cash, man. You're totally broke."
"Shut up," Hyde growled.
"Well, you are. You're totally broke."
"And you're totally about to get your ass kicked!" Hyde threatened, causing Kelso to jump behind the couch and duck his head under his hands. But Hyde didn't kick his ass just then. Instead, he was thinking about how he could get his hands on--
"Eric!" Mrs. Forman called down the stairs, even though her son was at the Pinciotti's, probably trying to woo the girl who lived there, Donna. "Dinner." When her son didn't reply, she walked down, her shoes clicking against the steps. "Oh, Michael, Steven, what are you two doing here? Would you like to stay for supper? Is Eric bothering Donna again? Run and go get him, will you?"
iOh well,/i Hyde thought. iI'll figure out a way to get the pot later./i Plus, he had bigger problems. Like, why were all of his friends suddenly pairing up? And how the hell was he going to break up Michael Kelso, the idiot, and Jackie Burkhardt, the devil?
He shook his head from side to side. Why did he have to do everything?
"
"So, to make a long story short," Jackie Burkhardt was saying, although her story seemed to Kelso to be anything but short, "Daddy got Lisa's daddy fired. That'll teach her to make fun of my hair."
"Yeah," Kelso replied noncommitally.
Jackie didn't notice. "You like my hair, don't you, Michael?" She leaned into the boy, forcing him to face the back of her head. Her hair smelled like vanilla.
"Uh-huh," was all he said.
"Oh, that's so sweet!" She put her hand on the back of his head. "I like your hair, too. You know, Michael, you're almost as pretty as me."
That caught Kelso's attention, but he said nothing. Since he had stopped needing the dreaded headgear, he had noticed that he was exceptionally good looking. At first, he thought it was just compared to his friends that he was such a stud, but then he realized that no, he was a stud compared to everyone. And although Jackie was pretty, her knees were a little knobby, her eyelashes weren't very long, and her teeth, while straight, were nowhere near as straight as his own.
"Michael, I just want to say that I think we make a really great couple."
Couple? Kelso began panicking. Yeah, he liked having the petite brunette sit on his lap, making him feel all...squidgy inside, with her legs swinging back and forth casually. He thought that was maybe the best thing that had ever happened to him concerning a member of the opposite sex. But he didn't want to get tied down just as he was discovering this whole new side to himself, or whatever you want to call it. He wanted to see some action, not be forced to make doe eyes at the same girl every day.
Luckily, Jackie hadn't been expecting an answer, because she began chattering incessantly once more. He wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. He rarely did. It wasn't that he was too captivated by his own thoughts. He really did have too many thoughts, at least any ones that were worth dwelling on. Nothing very deep. Mainly just "Hey, that girl is hot," and "Man, I'm starving." At that moment it was "I like Jackie, but I don't want to date her. How do I tell her that? She'll be crushed that such a good-looking guy like me would shoot her down."
But he was shook from his worry when the door of Forman's basement flew open, causing Jackie to hop guiltily off of Kelso's lap. He suddenly missed her presence.
"Oh," Jackie said with obvious distaste as she surveyed the young man who had entered the basement. "It's you."
"Oh," Steven Hyde replied, speaking to Kelso rather than to Jackie. "It's her. Why is she here?"
"We're, uh--"
"I'll have you know that we are dating." Hyde snorted, causing her to ask, "Oh, still too immature to understand the complex relationship that can happen between a girl and a boy."
"I'm mature enough to have gotten past second base," he said, face unsmiling, but a hint of amusement was clearly heard in his voice.
But Jackie didn't understand. "Second...base?"
"Never mind," Hyde said, disgusted by her presence. "Now, why don't you go home and spend some of Daddy's money?"
"I don't have to. I'm here with Michael."
"Excuse me," he said. "Let me rephrase that: GO HOME!"
The young brunette girl whirled around to face Kelso. "Come on, Michael. Let's go to a place where our love is understood."
"Um, actually," Kelso began nervously. He was afraid of that girl. She may have been tiny, but she clearly packed a punch. She wasn't afraid to let loose with those sharp fingernails and heavy makeup bag. "I was gonna stay here. With
Hyde. To...do guy stuff. You know, without girls." He flashed a pearly white smile.
She frowned at him. "But, he insulted me. And you still want to hang out him? MICHAEL!"
"I didn't actually insult you directly," Hyde put in helpfully.
"Yeah," Kelso said. "He didn't actually--"
"I HEARD HIM."
"Well, okay bye," Hyde said, quickly taking the girl by her slim shoulders and shoving her out the still-open door. Kelso could hear her stomp off.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. Clearly the girl was ga-ga for him. And who could blame her? She may have told dull stories, and she may have been slightly annoying, but, hell, so was Forman. And he still hung out with him....Of course, that might've had something to do with the free food and totally private basement space.
"Jackie Burkhardt?" Hyde yelled into his face. "Jackie Burkhardt? Jackie Burkhardt! Of all the people to blow off hormonal steam on, you choose Jackie Burkhardt?"
"Um, yeah," replied Kelso, not seeing what the big deal is.
"For Christ's sake, she's the devil."
"But she's pretty and she buys me things. Would the devil do that?"
Hyde blinked at his naive friend. "Of course the devil would do that. Do you think the devil's going to be ugly and poor? That that's how he's gonna get idiots like you to sign your soul over to him or whatever the hell the devil wants?" A pause. "Wait, what kind of stuff?"
"Records and magazines. And hair products."
"Do you think she'd maybe buy you some...other stuff?"
Kelso frowned, but, while frowning can make some people look like shit, he was still unbelievably good-looking for a thirteen-year-old boy. "What kind of other stuff? Like GI Joes?"
"NO!" He rolled his eyes. "I heard about some...stuff. It's apparently pretty good."
"Um...GI Joes are good."
"Not GI Joes, man." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Pot."
"Pots?"
Growing annoyed, Hyde slapped his friend in the back of the head. "Jesus, man, Kelso, I'm talking about drugs."
"Oh," Kelso replied, stretching the word out, clearly understanding. "Pot." He thought about it for a moment, and his face contorted oddly so he looked like he was constipated. "Yeah, I don't think Jackie would buy that."
"Damn it!"
"Where are gonna get pot anyway?"
Hyde shrugged and said, vaguely, "I know a guy who knows a guy."
"Oh?"
"His name's Leo. He'll sell me it. But I don't have enough cash."
Kelso laughed. "You don't have any cash, man. You're totally broke."
"Shut up," Hyde growled.
"Well, you are. You're totally broke."
"And you're totally about to get your ass kicked!" Hyde threatened, causing Kelso to jump behind the couch and duck his head under his hands. But Hyde didn't kick his ass just then. Instead, he was thinking about how he could get his hands on--
"Eric!" Mrs. Forman called down the stairs, even though her son was at the Pinciotti's, probably trying to woo the girl who lived there, Donna. "Dinner." When her son didn't reply, she walked down, her shoes clicking against the steps. "Oh, Michael, Steven, what are you two doing here? Would you like to stay for supper? Is Eric bothering Donna again? Run and go get him, will you?"
iOh well,/i Hyde thought. iI'll figure out a way to get the pot later./i Plus, he had bigger problems. Like, why were all of his friends suddenly pairing up? And how the hell was he going to break up Michael Kelso, the idiot, and Jackie Burkhardt, the devil?
He shook his head from side to side. Why did he have to do everything?
"