GI Joe: The Movie, Evo-tized!
To Metal Dragon1: When's the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" coming up? Please put it up! It's a great story!
To Red Witch: COME BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!
To Aaron: Yup, Thunderbolt and Falcon are staying with the Renegades for a while. I'm glad you like Carmella and Mike.
To Wizard1: Yeah, you should. "Brotherhood Evolution" is a very good story. It's funny at times. In one chapter, the Brotherhood discusses way of killing Pietro for betraying them. It's real funny! What does Virus think Althea is? I dunno. (Virus: A goddess…*sighs longingly*)
To Sparky Genocide: Now there's some nice ideas! I'll see what I can do! Thanks!
It's Profile Time Again! *Huge crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, and claps in delight.* Now, we look at a Joe who is considered one of the few "sane" Joes around. He's a master chef and a master gunner, Roadblock!
Roadblock
Real Name: Marvin F. Hinton
Affiliation: Army
Rank: Sergeant First Class
Primary Military Specialty: Heavy Machine Gunner, Infantry Heavy Weapons
Secondary Military Specialty: Cook, Misfit Handler (Toad and Blob)
Birthplace: Biloxi, Mississippi
Bio: When Roadblock was a kid, no one expected this rather large Southern boy to be a member of GI Joe. As a kid, he was a member of his church choir and a Boy Scout. His big dream is to be a gourmet chef. When he grew up, his size came to his advantage when he took a job as a bouncer. He saved up his wages so he could hopefully study at the Escoffier School in France, a cooking school.
He was convinced to join the Army when a recruiter claimed they could train him as well. Roadblock took well to Army life, except he found Army cooking horrible. In the Infantry, he became skilled with his specialty weapon, an M-2 Browning .50 caliber heavy machine gun, a weapon that most soldiers can't even lift! The gun earned him a spot on the GI Joe team.
While doing recon in the jungle, Roadblock and his unit found a battered and beaten Todd Tolensky, the future Misfit codenamed Toad. Toad had just been abandoned and thrown out of a jet to die by Magneto and the Brotherhood. Toad befriended the Joe, and Roadblock ended up becoming the Joe guardian to him. Later, when Toad's former teammates Blob, Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver ended up living with the Joes, Roadblock also ended up caring for Fred Dukes, codename Blob. Roadblock found that Blob had a love and talent for cooking, and the Joe is helping Blob nurture that talent.
Chapter 14: Escape!
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(Renegade HQ)
The headquarters of the Renegades was basically an old jumbo jet that crashed into a big rock. An exhausted Kyle Wildfire and Falcon trudged into the airplane entrance. They noticed the Renegades, except for Carmella, sitting at a table. They looked like they were cleaning up from a meal. Now, why didn't Kyle fly himself and Falcon to the plane? He couldn't. The Renegades put a collar on Kyle that shut off his mutant abilities, forcing him and Falcon to march 30 miles.
"Remind me to break Unuscione's neck." Kyle panted.
"I'll remind you if you remind me to kill Hawk for this." Falcon wheezed. Omega smiled as he approached the guys.
"You're late. You missed dinner." He said. "You should've arrived earlier."
"ALRIGHT YOU PUNKS!!!!" Carmella's voice roared. Mercer, Taurus, Omega, and Red Dog yelped in fright. "WHICH ONE OF YOU STOLE MY DIARY?!" She stomped down. She sneered at Kyle and looked around. The four were gone. Sgt. Slaughter was left, and he was not intimidated by Carmella's attitude. Only one other person on earth was not intimidated by Carmella Unuscione, and that was Jake Wildfire. Kyle can remember one particular time when he was being bullied by Carmella…
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(The Bronx, six years earlier)
"Aaagh!" A seven-year-old Kyle Wildfire landed on the grass of the park, on his butt. A ten-year-old Carmella Unuscione stood over him, a smirk on her face, and fists on her hips.
"Well shorty boy, you're just like your old man. A big joke." She grabbed Kyle by the front of his Legion of Doom shirt, and put his face up to hers. His eyes started tearing up. "Here, let me wipe those tears." She cocked back her free fist, only for her wrist to be held back. Carmella turned her head, and she found herself staring at the face of a ten-year-old Jake Wildfire.
"Back off, Carmella." He said simply. "Leave my brother alone." Carmella smirked. The Italian-American girl wrenched her fist away and dropped Kyle.
"Ah. Big brother to the rescue, huh?" Carmella laughed. "Well Jake, as soon as I knock you flat, I'll knock the baby out." Jake just stared at Carmella with a fearless glint in his eye. He crossed his arms.
"Go ahead and try."
"Okay." Carmella threw a punch, but the young Jake dodged, grabbed her arm, and flipped her over in a judo throw. "Wahhhhhh OW!!!"
"Now leave my brother alone."
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(Renegade HQ, Present time)
Kyle smirked. Carmella could never get one over on Jake, no matter how hard she tried. The Italian-American girl growled as she looked around. She noticed a couch was shaking. And shuddering. A growling Carmella used her forcefield to knock the couch over, revealing Red Dog, Taurus, Mercer, and Omega hiding. They looked scared out of their minds.
"WE DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR DIARY IS!!! PLEASE DON'T HURT US!!!!" The four screamed.
"Uh, is this it?" Falcon held up a small black book with a gold lock on it. Carmella snatched the book, and smacked Falcon with it. "OW!! What'd I do?"
"Don't mind her, Falcon. She can't be nice to anyone if the world depended on it." Kyle laughed.
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(Joe Infirmary)
Lina Chakram was feeling really down. It was bad enough that she was rejected by her family, but now her own teammate rejected her. She couldn't understand what made Kyle believe medics were weak. She looked at the Misfits who sat with her. Quicksilver was knocked cold. He just lied there drooling with a huge lump on his head. Thunderbird was watching a wrestling match on the TV, and he was yelling.
"You suck Randy Orton! I could beat you into the ground, you punk! Yeah, you'd better run, boy! You'd better run! Because if Mick Foley don't get you, I will!" John Proudstar yelled at the TV. Pyro was staring longingly at the fiery effigy he created of Angelica.
"Fire Angel/How I love you/You looks set my heart ablaze…" Pyro sang. He then scribbled on a notepad. Evidently, he was working on lyrics. It was the fifth song he wrote today about Angelica. She sighed.
"Is something wrong?" Lina turned and saw Jake Wildfire.
"H-h-hi, Red Dragon." She said nervously. She was kind of creeped out by Jake's blue eyes. Even though they were warm, there was a bit of intensity in those eyes. Jake smiled.
"Hey, Dragonfly. Mind if I sit with you?" Jake pulled up a chair. Dragonfly shook her head.
"Why?" She asked Jake. "Why did Kyle brutalize me like that? What have I done to him to deserve that? Ever since I told him I was a medic, he's claimed over and over that I'm a coward." She started tearing up. "I'm not a coward. I just don't like to fight! Why doesn't he understand that?" Jake put a hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know. I don't know. I do see where you're coming from, though. Kyle doesn't see you as someone worth respecting because you don't admire him and you don't use your powers in the way he thinks they should be used." Jake reasoned. "He doesn't quite understand that one doesn't have to use their powers to fight to be able to do good things with them."
"Well, I shouldn't have been surprised." Lina sighed. "I have heard rumors that Kyle mouths off Stretcher all the time."
"Well, Kyle is slightly afraid of doctors. You see, Kyle is deathly afraid of needles." Jake chuckled.
"That would explain why in his records, he never got his booster shot." Lina blinked.
"Yeah, I remember we once took him to get his tetanus shot." Jake laughed. "You never heard a kid scream as much or as loud as Kyle did that day. It took six doctors to hold him down and one guy nearly got tinnitus!" Lina burst out laughing at the thought of the self-proclaimed mighty Thunderbolt cowering in fear of a needle. "Well, glad I could help. See ya!" Jake got up.
Oh yes, Jake. You helped in a greater way than I thought. Lina mentally laughed. She just had a great idea.
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(Cobra La)
"Roadblock! You and I are the strongest! Let's rush the door!" Bulldog said.
"Right! Stand back everyone!" Roadblock ordered. He and Bulldog charged the door. Between Roadblock's natural strength and Bulldog's mutant strength, they could bring down the door. They did, but something went wrong. The door exploded in a big flash of light. "AHHHH!!!!!" Roadblock was blinded. Bulldog's eyes were protected by his mirrored shades.
"Alright everyone! Let's grab the Commander and go!" Bulldog and Davey Boy raced to the pod where the Commander was hanging. He was beginning his transformation into a snake. "Aw good God, Davey Boy! This ain't right!"
I know. We're rescuing this moron Cobra Commander! Davey Boy grumbled. Bulldog rolled his eyes. It wasn't what he meant.
"Let's go Bulldog yeow!" Jester got grabbed by some vines, and the other Joes were being attacked by strange creatures. Some were like mutant brown dragonflies. Others were like iguanas that had necks and heads like cobras.
"Help me!" Roadblock cried. "I can't see!"
"Come!" The mutated Cobra Commander said. "I know a way out! Through the river!" He and Roadblock escaped through a river that led out of Cobra La, unable to help the other Joes.
Well, looks like business is about to pick up, as Good ol' JR would say! What'll happen next? How will Roadblock get help? Will the other Joes be rescued? Will the Renegades whip Falcon and Kyle into shape? Will the Joes ever learn of the existence of Cobra La? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!