Ripplezrain: Thankies for all the really nice reviews/ reviewers! You guys
all get--- a brand new, useless, email! Yep! I will email all of you
(unless I start getting bored) a personal, inspirational message. (If you
put up an address.)
Gohan: You're just gonna give them junk emails, aren't you?
Ripplezrain: Shhhhhhhhhhh! Don't ruin the surprise! Now, time for the disclaimer!
Vegeta: Seriously, does Ripplezrain look rich enough or smart enough to own DBZ?
Ripplezrain: Why thank you for doing a decent disclaimer- HEY! OH VEGETABLE-HEAD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU! EVIL BANANA! (By the way, my new catch phrase is "Eat bananas." Every time you say that, you have to pay me a cyber-nickel.)
Vegeta: Demented person.
Ripplezrain: IF YOU DARE INSULT ME AGAIN, I WILL HAVE TO USE --- MY EVIL PUMPKIN EATER THINGY!
Vegeta: Oh. I am so scared. COUGH COUGH NOT COUGH COUGH!
Ripplezrain: THAT'S THE LAST STRAW VEGGIE! THE PUMPKIN EATER'S COMING OUT! *Takes out an unidentifiable object.*
Vegeta: What a scary item. Ahhhh. COUGH COUGH NOT COUGH COUGH.
Ripplezrain: You should be very scared, Veggie. For what I'm holding right here is a --- *Dramatic music insert* MEGAPHONE!
Vegeta: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ripplezrain: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Grabs the megaphone and yells into it* BUUUUUULLLLLLLMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! VEGETA'S BEING A BAD BOY!!!!!!!!
Vegeta: *Whimpers* *Runs for his life*
Ripplezrain: :-D
Previously on Food Poisoning and Gohan Torture:
(Gohan was forced to square dance, and Vegeta came along, with the chibis.)
"WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU HERE VEGETA?!!"
"Well, bratling, I am here at this idiotic torture chamber you call 'school' because the woman made me. I have come because of just a slight explosion I made when the woman told me that Kakarrot was coming back to life."
*Well, that explains the small inconvenience at Capsule Corp.* thought Gohan.
"And the woman got mad at me for just blowing up half of her dumb lab, and said she needed to be alone. So she sent the smaller brats to come with me to this idiotic torture chamber you call 'school.'"
"Ah, you must be the temporary student, Vegeta. You will be expected to dance with us!" Mr. Physedstinks said.
"I WILL NOT DO THE STUPID EARTHLING TRADITIONS THAT ARE DISGRACEFUL AND AND A PUNISHMENT TO SAIYAN-KIND!"
"If you don't I'll tell Mommy! And KOKOMAUN is gonna be mad at you!" yelled Trunks.
"What's the first step?" asked poor Vegeta.
Food Poisoning and Gohan Torture:
"Now, since you missed the last lesson on square dancing, you'll have to start with us at line dancing, Vegeta, Goten, and Trunks," Mr. Physedstinks said.
Vegeta grunted. Goten and Trunks were too busy to listen, running around with their arms flapping like chickens, screaming, "BOW DOWN TO THE GREAT KOKOMAUN!"
"All of you, get the people who were in your square dancing squares and spread them out into one long line. Vegeta, Goten, Trunks, stand next to Son Gohan," directed Mr. Physedstinks.
After he had told them the steps to line dancing, and another really dumb song started. Gohan frantically tried to grapevine (line dance type of move) and managed to crash into different people from all four directions. Videl got confused, going in all the wrong directions.
Vegeta was having a hard time too. Every time when he tried to grapevine, he twisted his legs and tripped. This not only was painful, but looked very strange too. (A/N: Can you imagine a line-dancing Veggie?)
But strangely, despite their Saiyan blood, Goten and Trunks were doing everything perfectly. Their only problem was that they kept on shouting "KOKOMAUN" in the middle of the dancing.
When the music stopped, Gohan sighed with relief. Unfortunately, it started up again, and everyone went through the same things.
Finally, Vegeta got impatient with the grapevine. "EVIL GRAPEY THINGYMABOBBER! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!" He started firing random ki blasts around the gym, breaking windows and sending birds toppling to their doom.
"Why me?" Gohan moaned.
Then, he hurried and got Vegeta to calm down. The problem was, there were 32 dumbstruck students, blinded by "giant bolts of strange lightning."
"Ummmmmm," Gohan thought fast, "Vegeta was just demonstrating the new type of really powerful flashlight that shines light that is able to break things because it's a new supersonic weapon and everyone uses new technology these days right and if you don't believe me I've got one here, seeeeeeeeee?" He took out his mechanical pencil and held it in his hand, pretending to press a button, while he did a weak ki blast. Sure enough, it blasted a hole through a bush outside.
"WHOA! CAN I HAVE THAT?!" everyone yelled.
"Sorry, these are really rare and expensive and basically impossible to get, so don't even try, alright?"
Videl looked at Gohan and Vegeta suspiciously. She didn't believe the whole flashlight thing. *I mean, if there were flashlights like that, and I doubt there were, then the whole military would want them.* Videl thought.
"Whaddya mean, Brother? Don't you know that that's a kiiii-" Goten tried to say, but Gohan firmly clamped his hand over his mouth.
"How come you never told us that you had a brother?" Videl angrily said, hands on her hips.
"Uh, you never asked?" Gohan answered lamely.
"And why don't you let your brother finish what he was about to say?"
Gohan looked down at Goten. "Goten, will you tell Videl exactly what those brighty lighty things were?" Goten nodded. "And will you be sure to tell her the TRUTH? Coughcoughliegotenliehackhack."
"THEY ARE REALLY COOL FLASHLIGHTS! KOKOMAUN LOVES THEM!" screeched Goten.
Videl still looked suspicious, and she was beginning to get freaked out about his family and friends. I mean, his little brother and a kid with light PURPLE hair believed in some crazy god, and his friend with a major attitude problem starts blowing things up with a flashlight.
"Now, since we are a little ahead of schedule, we have time to let students come up and share a dance that they enjoy," Mr. Physedstinks droned on tonelessly.
"OOOH! WE HAVE ONE! WE HAVE ONE!" shouted Goten and Trunks.
Gohan raised his eyebrows. What dance did they have? Probably some sacred ritual dance for KOKOMAUN.
"Okay, everyone, this is called the Fusion Dance!" (A/N: I know, I know, since the Buu saga hasn't started yet, they haven't learned the fusion dance yet. But this is MY fic, so I get to change history.)
"What you do is you go like this-" Goten and Trunks stuck out their arms and took three steps toward each other- "and say Fu-" and then you walk closer, and then go like this-" they turned their arms the opposite direction- "and you say Sion-" and then you bring the arms together and say Haaaa- AAAAAHH!"
Just then Gohan grabbed the two kids and lifted them to the corner of the gym. "Um, excuse me for a moment!" he said sheepishly to his whole class.
"ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO MAKE ME COMPLETELY CRAZY? YOU CAN'T DO THE FUSION DANCE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! HOW DO YOU THINK THEY'LL REACT WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE PERSON?! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS DUMB 'FITTING IN' PROCESS ANYWAYS?! NOW, IF YOU DO ANYTHING- I REPEAT- ANYTHING THAT MIGHT AROUSE SUSPICION, I WILL, um, SACRIFICE YOU TO KOKOMAUN! SO THERE! THERE ARE ALREADY PEOPLE WHO SUSPECT THAT I'M SAIYAMAN! NOW BEHAVE YOURSELVES, OR ELSE!" Gohan shouted this out loud while whispering.
"Sheesh, we were just teaching them a dance!" Trunks said.
"Its okay, Brother, we'll behave," Goten said with innocent eyes.
"We will?" whispered Trunks to Goten.
"Are you crazy? Of course not! Just tell him we will."
"WE'LL BEHAVE!" they said simultaneously.
"Good!" said Gohan. "Now, I want you to finish teaching the class the Fusion dance, but do not, I repeat, do not, fuse! Just teach them the steps."
"So, are we gonna fuse?" Goten asked Trunks.
"Well, it would torture Gohan, right?" Trunks replied.
"So I take that as a yes!"
"You betcha!"
The two little troublemakers walked up to the front of the gym. "Okay, we'll go through the dance again, since we were so RUDELY INTERRUPTED! CoughcoughGohancoughcough."
"Now, the Fusion dance is this, basically." Goten and Trunks went through all the steps, ending with a huge "HAA!" and suddenly, in a flash of smoke and light, there was only one figure. He looked like a combination of both, yet similar to a mini-Vegeta.
"I AM GOTENKS! NONE OF YOU PATHETIC WEAKLINGS COULD EVER MATCH MY POWER! YOU WANNA SEE FOR YOURSELF?" Gotenks started to dart around the room like a jellybean. (A/N: Jellybeans rule!) He blasted holes in the walls and destroyed the basketball hoops. Everyone watched in amazement and horror as a little kid was completely ruined their gym.
Sharpener, with his Stegosaurus mind, was convinced this was some sort of trick the 'nerd-boy' had come up with. He said in a loud voice, "Oh big deal! This is probably some sort of optical-asylum thing and I bet I could beat that kid in five seconds flat." (A/N: I purposely spelled it 'optical- asylum' just to prove Sharpener's idiocy to the world. I hate him, personally.)
Gotenks heard this, due to his acute hearing, and gave Sharpener what appeared to be a light kick in the stomach. Sharpener doubled over on the ground and looked as if he was about to barf. (A/N: I almost pity him. Notice the ALMOST.)
This basically continued for twenty more minutes, but once the half hour was up, two little chibis sprang out.
"Huh? What just happened?"
Gohan advanced on the poor little kids. He resembled Chichi wielding a frying pan. (A/N: I LOOOOOVE Chichi's frying pan!)
"WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT FUSING?!" Gohan screamed with a world-record amount of decibels.
Goten and Trunks flinched. "We're s-ss-ssorry," whimpered Goten.
"YOU TWO WILL TELL THE CLASS THAT NOTHING HAPPENED!"
"How are we gonna do that?" asked Trunks.
"I DON'T KNOW! IT WAS YOUR MISTAKE, YOU FIX IT!"
"Alright!" they said.
They then walked to the front of the class and said, "Nothing has just happened. You did not just see the two of us become one. You did not see some alien technique of merging. You did not just see a little kid ruin the entire gym."
Gohan slapped his forehead. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT ME?!"
Ripplezrain: I've been having a review slump. (
Vegeta: Well with your kind of writing I was expecting it.
Ripplezrain: *Sticks out tongue to Veggie* Anyways, I'm gonna be on vacation for Dec. 21-28. It may take me a while to update. HAWAII!
Gohan: Don't you think I've suffered enough torture for one whole lifetime?
Ripplezrain and everyone else on the face of the Earth: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Ripplezrain: Where would I be without Gohan torture?
Gohan: You're just gonna give them junk emails, aren't you?
Ripplezrain: Shhhhhhhhhhh! Don't ruin the surprise! Now, time for the disclaimer!
Vegeta: Seriously, does Ripplezrain look rich enough or smart enough to own DBZ?
Ripplezrain: Why thank you for doing a decent disclaimer- HEY! OH VEGETABLE-HEAD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU! EVIL BANANA! (By the way, my new catch phrase is "Eat bananas." Every time you say that, you have to pay me a cyber-nickel.)
Vegeta: Demented person.
Ripplezrain: IF YOU DARE INSULT ME AGAIN, I WILL HAVE TO USE --- MY EVIL PUMPKIN EATER THINGY!
Vegeta: Oh. I am so scared. COUGH COUGH NOT COUGH COUGH!
Ripplezrain: THAT'S THE LAST STRAW VEGGIE! THE PUMPKIN EATER'S COMING OUT! *Takes out an unidentifiable object.*
Vegeta: What a scary item. Ahhhh. COUGH COUGH NOT COUGH COUGH.
Ripplezrain: You should be very scared, Veggie. For what I'm holding right here is a --- *Dramatic music insert* MEGAPHONE!
Vegeta: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ripplezrain: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Grabs the megaphone and yells into it* BUUUUUULLLLLLLMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! VEGETA'S BEING A BAD BOY!!!!!!!!
Vegeta: *Whimpers* *Runs for his life*
Ripplezrain: :-D
Previously on Food Poisoning and Gohan Torture:
(Gohan was forced to square dance, and Vegeta came along, with the chibis.)
"WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU HERE VEGETA?!!"
"Well, bratling, I am here at this idiotic torture chamber you call 'school' because the woman made me. I have come because of just a slight explosion I made when the woman told me that Kakarrot was coming back to life."
*Well, that explains the small inconvenience at Capsule Corp.* thought Gohan.
"And the woman got mad at me for just blowing up half of her dumb lab, and said she needed to be alone. So she sent the smaller brats to come with me to this idiotic torture chamber you call 'school.'"
"Ah, you must be the temporary student, Vegeta. You will be expected to dance with us!" Mr. Physedstinks said.
"I WILL NOT DO THE STUPID EARTHLING TRADITIONS THAT ARE DISGRACEFUL AND AND A PUNISHMENT TO SAIYAN-KIND!"
"If you don't I'll tell Mommy! And KOKOMAUN is gonna be mad at you!" yelled Trunks.
"What's the first step?" asked poor Vegeta.
Food Poisoning and Gohan Torture:
"Now, since you missed the last lesson on square dancing, you'll have to start with us at line dancing, Vegeta, Goten, and Trunks," Mr. Physedstinks said.
Vegeta grunted. Goten and Trunks were too busy to listen, running around with their arms flapping like chickens, screaming, "BOW DOWN TO THE GREAT KOKOMAUN!"
"All of you, get the people who were in your square dancing squares and spread them out into one long line. Vegeta, Goten, Trunks, stand next to Son Gohan," directed Mr. Physedstinks.
After he had told them the steps to line dancing, and another really dumb song started. Gohan frantically tried to grapevine (line dance type of move) and managed to crash into different people from all four directions. Videl got confused, going in all the wrong directions.
Vegeta was having a hard time too. Every time when he tried to grapevine, he twisted his legs and tripped. This not only was painful, but looked very strange too. (A/N: Can you imagine a line-dancing Veggie?)
But strangely, despite their Saiyan blood, Goten and Trunks were doing everything perfectly. Their only problem was that they kept on shouting "KOKOMAUN" in the middle of the dancing.
When the music stopped, Gohan sighed with relief. Unfortunately, it started up again, and everyone went through the same things.
Finally, Vegeta got impatient with the grapevine. "EVIL GRAPEY THINGYMABOBBER! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!" He started firing random ki blasts around the gym, breaking windows and sending birds toppling to their doom.
"Why me?" Gohan moaned.
Then, he hurried and got Vegeta to calm down. The problem was, there were 32 dumbstruck students, blinded by "giant bolts of strange lightning."
"Ummmmmm," Gohan thought fast, "Vegeta was just demonstrating the new type of really powerful flashlight that shines light that is able to break things because it's a new supersonic weapon and everyone uses new technology these days right and if you don't believe me I've got one here, seeeeeeeeee?" He took out his mechanical pencil and held it in his hand, pretending to press a button, while he did a weak ki blast. Sure enough, it blasted a hole through a bush outside.
"WHOA! CAN I HAVE THAT?!" everyone yelled.
"Sorry, these are really rare and expensive and basically impossible to get, so don't even try, alright?"
Videl looked at Gohan and Vegeta suspiciously. She didn't believe the whole flashlight thing. *I mean, if there were flashlights like that, and I doubt there were, then the whole military would want them.* Videl thought.
"Whaddya mean, Brother? Don't you know that that's a kiiii-" Goten tried to say, but Gohan firmly clamped his hand over his mouth.
"How come you never told us that you had a brother?" Videl angrily said, hands on her hips.
"Uh, you never asked?" Gohan answered lamely.
"And why don't you let your brother finish what he was about to say?"
Gohan looked down at Goten. "Goten, will you tell Videl exactly what those brighty lighty things were?" Goten nodded. "And will you be sure to tell her the TRUTH? Coughcoughliegotenliehackhack."
"THEY ARE REALLY COOL FLASHLIGHTS! KOKOMAUN LOVES THEM!" screeched Goten.
Videl still looked suspicious, and she was beginning to get freaked out about his family and friends. I mean, his little brother and a kid with light PURPLE hair believed in some crazy god, and his friend with a major attitude problem starts blowing things up with a flashlight.
"Now, since we are a little ahead of schedule, we have time to let students come up and share a dance that they enjoy," Mr. Physedstinks droned on tonelessly.
"OOOH! WE HAVE ONE! WE HAVE ONE!" shouted Goten and Trunks.
Gohan raised his eyebrows. What dance did they have? Probably some sacred ritual dance for KOKOMAUN.
"Okay, everyone, this is called the Fusion Dance!" (A/N: I know, I know, since the Buu saga hasn't started yet, they haven't learned the fusion dance yet. But this is MY fic, so I get to change history.)
"What you do is you go like this-" Goten and Trunks stuck out their arms and took three steps toward each other- "and say Fu-" and then you walk closer, and then go like this-" they turned their arms the opposite direction- "and you say Sion-" and then you bring the arms together and say Haaaa- AAAAAHH!"
Just then Gohan grabbed the two kids and lifted them to the corner of the gym. "Um, excuse me for a moment!" he said sheepishly to his whole class.
"ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO MAKE ME COMPLETELY CRAZY? YOU CAN'T DO THE FUSION DANCE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! HOW DO YOU THINK THEY'LL REACT WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE PERSON?! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS DUMB 'FITTING IN' PROCESS ANYWAYS?! NOW, IF YOU DO ANYTHING- I REPEAT- ANYTHING THAT MIGHT AROUSE SUSPICION, I WILL, um, SACRIFICE YOU TO KOKOMAUN! SO THERE! THERE ARE ALREADY PEOPLE WHO SUSPECT THAT I'M SAIYAMAN! NOW BEHAVE YOURSELVES, OR ELSE!" Gohan shouted this out loud while whispering.
"Sheesh, we were just teaching them a dance!" Trunks said.
"Its okay, Brother, we'll behave," Goten said with innocent eyes.
"We will?" whispered Trunks to Goten.
"Are you crazy? Of course not! Just tell him we will."
"WE'LL BEHAVE!" they said simultaneously.
"Good!" said Gohan. "Now, I want you to finish teaching the class the Fusion dance, but do not, I repeat, do not, fuse! Just teach them the steps."
"So, are we gonna fuse?" Goten asked Trunks.
"Well, it would torture Gohan, right?" Trunks replied.
"So I take that as a yes!"
"You betcha!"
The two little troublemakers walked up to the front of the gym. "Okay, we'll go through the dance again, since we were so RUDELY INTERRUPTED! CoughcoughGohancoughcough."
"Now, the Fusion dance is this, basically." Goten and Trunks went through all the steps, ending with a huge "HAA!" and suddenly, in a flash of smoke and light, there was only one figure. He looked like a combination of both, yet similar to a mini-Vegeta.
"I AM GOTENKS! NONE OF YOU PATHETIC WEAKLINGS COULD EVER MATCH MY POWER! YOU WANNA SEE FOR YOURSELF?" Gotenks started to dart around the room like a jellybean. (A/N: Jellybeans rule!) He blasted holes in the walls and destroyed the basketball hoops. Everyone watched in amazement and horror as a little kid was completely ruined their gym.
Sharpener, with his Stegosaurus mind, was convinced this was some sort of trick the 'nerd-boy' had come up with. He said in a loud voice, "Oh big deal! This is probably some sort of optical-asylum thing and I bet I could beat that kid in five seconds flat." (A/N: I purposely spelled it 'optical- asylum' just to prove Sharpener's idiocy to the world. I hate him, personally.)
Gotenks heard this, due to his acute hearing, and gave Sharpener what appeared to be a light kick in the stomach. Sharpener doubled over on the ground and looked as if he was about to barf. (A/N: I almost pity him. Notice the ALMOST.)
This basically continued for twenty more minutes, but once the half hour was up, two little chibis sprang out.
"Huh? What just happened?"
Gohan advanced on the poor little kids. He resembled Chichi wielding a frying pan. (A/N: I LOOOOOVE Chichi's frying pan!)
"WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT FUSING?!" Gohan screamed with a world-record amount of decibels.
Goten and Trunks flinched. "We're s-ss-ssorry," whimpered Goten.
"YOU TWO WILL TELL THE CLASS THAT NOTHING HAPPENED!"
"How are we gonna do that?" asked Trunks.
"I DON'T KNOW! IT WAS YOUR MISTAKE, YOU FIX IT!"
"Alright!" they said.
They then walked to the front of the class and said, "Nothing has just happened. You did not just see the two of us become one. You did not see some alien technique of merging. You did not just see a little kid ruin the entire gym."
Gohan slapped his forehead. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT ME?!"
Ripplezrain: I've been having a review slump. (
Vegeta: Well with your kind of writing I was expecting it.
Ripplezrain: *Sticks out tongue to Veggie* Anyways, I'm gonna be on vacation for Dec. 21-28. It may take me a while to update. HAWAII!
Gohan: Don't you think I've suffered enough torture for one whole lifetime?
Ripplezrain and everyone else on the face of the Earth: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Ripplezrain: Where would I be without Gohan torture?