GI Joe: The Movie, Evo-tized!

To Red Witch: Well, here's some more fun, explosions, and insanity! Enjoy! By the way, I read the new story! I love it!

To Sparky Genocide: Well, the Commander will be human again, thanks to someone you didn't expect. I really do believe that when he returns, he's going to slap some of his accomplices around for a while. (Cobra Commander: You hear that, you jerks?! I SHALL RETURN!!!!)

To Wizard1: Where are you?!

It's Profile Time Again! *Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, claps, chants, and screams* This time, we look at a member of the Cobra squad. He's the resident insane nerd of Cobra, Dr. Mindbender

Dr. Mindbender

Real Name: Unknown

Cobra Scientist and Mind Control Specialist

Birthplace: Unknown (possibly somewhere in Europe)

Bio: Not much is known about the past of Dr. Mindbender, but there are many rumors regarding it. The generally accepted story is that he was a kind and honest orthodontist who had been experimenting with brainwave stimulation as a way to relieve pain.

When one of his experiments went awry, Mindbender's mind was well, bent, and he was transformed into a vain and amoral person. Now believing he was free from society's rules, Mindbender continued his experiments, often going into areas and techniques other scientists found disgusting. This reputation got him recruited into Cobra.

In Cobra, Mindbender created the Battle Android Troopers (Later modified by the mutant Dreadnok known as Virus). Shortly after that, he started work on his most ambitious project ever: The creation of a perfect warrior to ensure Cobra's success. Using the DNA of such historical figures as Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and Julius Caesar, the mad doctor created Serpentor. Through some unknown means, Serpentor gained all the memories of the historical leaders his DNA was made from. Serpentor proved to be not just a fantastic warrior, but also a brilliant tactician and charismatic leader. Despite this, GI Joe destroyed him.

Mindbender tried again, this time behind the Commander's back, and enlisting the Dreadnoks to help him get the DNA. They got it, but they also got DNA from such figures as Marilyn Monroe and Ed Wood, causing Serpentor II to become a drag performer!

Mindbender's other most famous creation is the future Misfit known as Xi. Mindbender created XI as part of a unit of half-man, half-snake creatures intended to be assassins. Xi, who got his name from the Roman numerals for eleven (Xi was the eleventh in his unit), was the only survivor and ended up in the care of GI Joe.

Mindbender still works for Cobra. The egocentric Mindbender is often at odds with the arrogant Virus. Even though Mindbender works mainly in genetics, and Virus's specialty is electronics/mechanics, their egomania causes them to argue constantly.   

Chapter 26: Fights! Fights! Fights!

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(The Alps, outside Cobra-La)

"We should get going! Who knows what's happening to the other guys!" Longshot said.

"Agreed." Falcon nodded. "Let's go! Firestar, Beast King! You two know where that energy blast came from?"

"Yeah." The two mutants nodded.

"Then scout ahead and find out where it's-"

"Wait, Falcon!" Mayday pointed at a tunnel. "My infra-red vision found this tunnel!" Falcon nodded.

"Okay."

"Well then, let's use it to sneak in!" Burner groaned.

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(Cobra La)

"YAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Sgt. Slaughter and Carmella Unuscione engaged Nemesis Enforcer in battle. The genetically-created warrior tried to punch out the Sarge, but he was knocked backwards by a forcefield-covered Carmella.

"I'm a member of the great Unuscione family of wrestling, pal!" Carmella snarled. "Fighting is in my blood!" Nemesis Enforcer snarled. With a screech, the winged creature charged, but Carmella swatted him off.

"Help the others, Unuscione!" Sarge ordered. "I got this guy." Carmella blinked.

"No offense Sarge, but he's real tough."

"I'm tougher, kid." Sarge smirked. Carmella sighed.

"Those Misfits are a bunch of costumed clowns!" Carmella grumbled. Despite this, she obeyed Sarge's orders, and went to help the other kids. Sarge smirked at Nemesis Enforcer.

"Let's dance, big man." Meanwhile, the Misfits were trying to fight Gilgacon.

"HA!!" Red Dragon and Gilgacon started trading blows.

"Me smash you!" Gilgacon puched Jake, but the dragon only smirked.

"Learn to talk right, pal. Then maybe you may be able to beat me." Jake threw Gilgacon through a wall. He then helped up his beaten comrades. "That won't keep him down for long, knowing my powers." Carmella raced up to Jake.

"What happened here?" She wondered.

"A big moron called Gilgacon." Jake grumbled. "Help the others. I'm going to take down Gilgacon." Jake leapt into the hole he created with Gilgacon's help. Carmella grumbled.

"Serpentor!" A familiar voice roared. Serpentor turned around and found himself on the receiving end of a sneak attack by Falcon. Firestar created a ring of flames around the two combatants before helping the Joes. Thank you, Firestar. Falcon glared at Serpentor III. "Because of you, my brother's in a coma, and he may die." Serpentor III smirked.

"The funny part is, I was aiming for you." Serpentor smirked. Falcon glared at Serpentor.

"You're mine now, Serpent Breath." Falcon punched Serpentor hard, causing him to stagger. With great speed, the tyrant unsheathed his snake spear. Falcon's eyes widened.

"Remember this hey!" Serpentor III dropped the spear as the snake Cobra Commander attacked him. "Get off me!" Falcon eyed the flying chariot that Serpentor used as his personal transport. Falcon glared at Serpentor III, then jumped on the transport and flew off. Now to find the BET. Meanwhile Serpentor III threw the mutated Cobra Commander off him. The Commander slithered away, and he disappeared like he was being teleported away.

Well, things are really heating up now! Can Falcon shut off the BET? Can the Joes stop Golobulus's plan? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!