My sincere apologies for:

The bad angst in this chappie, which really is quite bad. I'm useless at angst.

The sudden appearance and disappearance of Lily's so-called best friends, Caz and Anna. After this they kind of…vanish…

The shameless use of the hitherto unmentioned Suzanne as a useful but somewhat bewildering plot device. If anyone can think of a quick way of putting this right, please do tell!

Hey Naoko-san! I just noticed you're Japanese! (sorry, a little unobservant…) I have a Japanese friend, but she went back to Japan at the end of school *sob*. I can say stuff in Japanese but not write.  And sayonara is goodbye (wow I'm clever).

James; you bro has one? What, on ff.net? what's his pen-name?

The next morning Tulah came downstairs with Lily, Caz and Anna to find the rest of the Marauders waiting for them in the common room before going to breakfast.

"Hurry up," grumbled Sirius. "The food'll all be gone."

"Aww, poor 'ickle Sirius," cooed Anna with a smile.

"Too right! Now lets' go!"

Sirius shoved the portrait hole open with a flourish, to find a crowd of blonde Hufflepuff girls standing outside. As soon as he appeared they began to giggle madly. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"News travels fast!" James laughed.

Sirius threw his arms wide. "Sirius Black is single again!" he announced melodramatically. All the Hufflepuff girls giggled even harder; Lily pretended to faint, and the rest of the Marauders cracked up.

"Now…" said Sirius, eyeing the prettiest Hufflepuff with interest. "Would any of you lovely ladies care to accompany me to breakfast?"

Breakfast itself was very eventful. For a start, it took quite a lot of self-control to ignore the way Sirius kept whispering in the pretty Hufflepuff girl's ear, and the way she blushed a delicate shade of pink every time he did so.

"Sirius Black, Womaniser of the Century!" muttered Caz. Lily and Anna nodded their agreement. Tulah frowned; Sirius had never seemed that type in the time she'd known him…then she remembered what had happened on that night only a few days before…

"Oh yeah," confirmed Anna, watching Tulah's face. "You've only known him when he was going out with Lindsay, right?" Tulah nodded silently, even though on the inside she was burning with curiosity. "Well, before that Sirius was a bit…umm…how to put it…"

"A bit of a player," said Lily with a grin. "Just like James," she added fondly. Anna and Caz both made gagging noises; Lily took the hint graciously, and shut up.

"You talking about me?" inquired Sirius innocently.

Caz pretended to consider. "We're talking about a big, arrogant, ugly prat with no morals…"

"…In other words, yeah, you!" Lily grinned. Sirius made a face at her and turned back to his new 'friend' with a disgusted mutter of, "No subtlety, no subtlety at all."

"If we're unsubtle, what the hell are you?" cried Anna, incensed, as Sirius slipped one arm around the blonde's shoulders, gently traced the lines of her face with his free hand and proceeded to ignore Anna totally.

"Oh, leave him be," Lily said crossly. "He's only doing it to annoy us." She turned back to Tulah. "See what we mean?"

James, who had been listening in, thought that maybe it was time to change the subject before the three girls between them reduced Sirius' reputation to tatters. "Tuls, your first Transfiguration lesson is about to begin," he announced, impressively but perplexingly.

Tulah stared at him in bewilderment. "James, it's the middle of breakfast."

"And…?" he asked calmly. Tulah raised a bemused eyebrow. "Look," he carried on. "I figured that if you're having lessons with us then we may as well teach you whenever we can, and that way you'll have time for fun as well."

Tulah screwed up her face for a moment, trying vainly to see this from his point of view. "That actually makes a kind of twisted sense," she conceded in surprise.

"Good!" smiled James. "Now, as I don't think you'd better start transfiguring salt cellars or anything, you tell me anywhere you're confused and where you were up to with McGonagall…"

"Ok. So we'd done Animagi…" she stopped, because James had drawn a sharp breath and Remus had looked up quickly from his plate of toast. "What?" asked Tulah. "What'd I say?"

James had recovered himself by this time; Remus went back to his toast. "Nothing, nothing… so, was there anything you didn't get about Animagi?"

"James is very good on Animagi," Caz grinned. Tulah had the strange feeling that everyone else was in on a private joke… "I didn't really understand why they have to register with the Ministry of Magic," she confessed.

Sirius spun abruptly around with a bark of laughter; Peter shuffled uncomfortably in his seat; Remus smiled into his toast and James paused before replying, rather guiltily, "Well…so they don't misuse it, I suppose. And…in case anything goes wrong." Tulah nodded, satisfied…about her first question, at least.

"Do you guys have anything you'd like to tell me…?" she asked, fixing each of them in turn with a piercing stare. None of them met her eyes.

James had been signalling frantically to Sirius, who gave him a discreet thumbs-up and tipped the Hufflepuff girl gently off his lap. "Honey, I think your friends are calling you," he told her softly. "I'll see you around, ok?"

"Ok," she smiled, and walked off in the general direction of the Hufflepuff table. On the way she turned back towards Sirius, who blew her an effusive kiss.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Right…Messrs. Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs have something to tell you," she announced.

James and Sirius both looked shifty. "Are you sure we do?" James asked Lily, rather apprehensively.

"Sure I'm sure," she smiled, her voice reassuring. Sirius nodded slowly. "I trust her," he said quietly, meeting Tulah's eyes.

"Right…" James said, unusually businesslike, "Let's go to the common room."

"But we've got History of Magic," protested Anna.

"Binns wouldn't notice if you set the classroom on fire," Sirius scoffed, "Let alone a missing student. Or eight missing students…"

Safely ensconced in the Gryffindor common room's squashy armchairs, Sirius and James began their story.

"So…we were in our third year…"

"…Young, carefree and innocent…" Lily stifled an unconvinced snort; she doubted whether any of the Marauders had ever been innocent.

(A/N; yeah, that bit is from HP 3…well, kind of…what an observant reader you are.)

"…We were in a Transfiguration class…"

"…Bit bored…"

"…Not really listening…"

"…When suddenly, McGonagall turns into a cat…"

"…Well, as you can imagine, that got our attention…"

"…oh yeah!"

"And that night, Sirius goes…"

"I wanna do that!" said Sirius, right on cue.

"And…umm…we did."

"Yeah. That's it, really."

Tulah was gaping at them, stunned into silence. "How…?" she began incredulously. Sirius waved her aside. "It was easy," he bragged…this time it was James' turn to gape.

"No it wasn't!" he said forcefully. "It was bloody impossible." He turned to Tulah. "It took us two years," he told her, "But we got there in the end…"

"What do you turn into?" asked Tulah; once she had got over her initial shock, curiosity had set in.

James promptly became a large stag. Tulah gasped, awed; Anna screamed. "Prongs!" hissed Sirius, exasperated. "Not here! Anyone could come in."

James changed back with a smug grin. "C'mon, everyone's in lessons," he objected. "Your turn, Wormtail."

"Do I have to?" whined Peter.

"Yes!" Peter always objected, and it annoyed James no end. "Peter, nothing's going to happen."

"When we first tried this, Pete got…uh…a little stuck," James informed Tulah while Sirius and Remus sniggered.

"Stuck! I was a rat for four hours!" Peter exclaimed, spoiling the surprise for Tulah, who had been looking forward to finding out what animal he became.

Once Peter had finally been persuaded to change for them, Tulah turned to Sirius. "What are you?" she asked. Sirius, blushing, replied, "Um…a dog…"

Before she had time to say anything he had changed, and Padfoot – her companion of the whole of last term – was putting his paws onto her shoulders and panting apologetically in her face.

Tulah was speechless for a moment; once she had found her tongue, she spun around to face not Sirius, but James. "Down by the lake…you said he was your dog!" she said accusingly.

James shrugged. "I was hardly likely to say 'oh yeah, that's my best friend, he's a dog right now, but if you'll just wait a second he'll be human again'…was I…?" Everyone laughed, and the tense atmosphere eased somewhat.

"Remmie, what about you?" asked Tulah a little later, when everyone's chuckles had died down. "What do you turn into?"

Everyone looked expectantly at Remus; they knew that he hadn't yet told Tulah about his 'little problem' – Sirius and James had left it out of their story because he was very sensitive about it, and rarely trusted his girlfriends enough to let them in on the secret. On the other hand, his relationship with Tulah was so exceptional that they assumed he would disclose it to her soon…and now seemed the perfect opportunity.

Remus stared at Tulah, his face set, and much more colour in his cheeks than usual. "I…" he began, so quietly that she had to lean forward to catch his words.

"What, Rem? It can't be that bad!" she joked, laughing at the look on his face.

Remus tried again. "I…I'm not an Animagi."

"Why not?"

"Because…because…" The pause seemed to last a lifetime to Remus…:: I can't tell her, I can't. I won't watch the hate spread across her face.::

::But she's not like the other girls:: murmured a tiny, hesitant voice at the back of his mind. ::That's why you love her.:: Remus squashed it immediately. ::NO! I won't tell her. She'll never know…::

"Because I didn't want to be an Animagus, that's all," he said softly, dejectedly, and the feeling that he had done something terribly wrong spread through his veins like the plague.

"Is that all?" asked Tulah. "Remmie, why didn't you want to tell me that? It doesn't matter!"

"Yeah…that's all…silly really, isn't it?" He stared at the floor, unable to bear the agony of looking into her eyes. ::I've betrayed you.:: "Look…I don't feel so good…I'm going to lie down." ::I'm sorry Tuls…I'm so sorry.::

"What the hell was that about?" shouted James, striding into their dorm ten minutes later with Sirius in his wake. Remus was lying face-down on his bed, unmoving.

"Piss off," he mumbled into his pillow.

Sirius sat on the end of the bed. "Moony, why didn't you tell her?"

"Was it because of Suzanne?" inquired James shrewdly, referring to Remus' last girlfriend.

Remus sat up so fast that he banged heads with Sirius, who fell off the bed with a thump. "No!"

"OW!"

Both Remus and James ignored Sirius' steady stream of obscenities.

"Come on Rem," James said. "Everyone knows about that! Don't try to lie to us."

"I am NOT LYING!" Remus flung himself back onto the bed and pulled the hangings closed around him. James yanked them back…and Remus punched him in the face. James fell to the floor. "Fuck! Moony, what was that for?"

"I said, piss off!" repeated Remus fiercely, holding back the apologies he longed to voice. He hadn't meant to hit his friend…it had been the thought of Suzanne...

He remained silent on his bed until he heard them leave, then sat up slowly and rested his head in his hands.

::Suzanne…::

***FLASHBACK***

It had all begun a little more than a year ago…Remus, the quietest of the Marauders, had finally got himself a girlfriend, much to his fellow-students amusement.

"Good on you, Moony!"

"Took you long enough didn't it, Rem!"

Remus had been stunned, swept away by the depth of the emotion which coursed through him. When, holding her close and drunk with the smell of her, he had whispered, "I love you" in her ear, and she had murmured, "Me too," Remus had felt as if he would burst with joy.

Then, one day last summer, he had confided in her, told her the secret closest to his heart…and found out the cost of misplaced trust…

***END FLASHBACK***

::Suzanne betrayed me. Tulah would never…would she?::

:: Oh Merlin … I wish I could tell you…::

Diary,

I don't know what the matter with Remmie is today, he's been really moody lately, and today was worse then usual. Something's up, I can tell…

It was a Sunday morning; Remus had just finished Tulah's latest History of Magic catch-up class. "Excellent!" he smiled from the sofa, running a tired hand through his sandy hair, as Tulah completed the last of the notes with a flourish.

"Do I get a reward?" asked Tulah, batting her eyelashes. Remus took her hands and pulled her onto his lap; she buried her head in his shoulder with a sigh of contentment.

"I…" He kissed the tip of her nose.

"Love…" Then her forehead.

"You…"  He kissed both cheeks, then her lips. Suddenly everything felt right…Remus couldn't have explained it if he had tried, nor could he have told anyone what it was which made him blurt out, "Tuls, there's something I need to tell you…"

Tulah shifted restlessly on his lap. ::Now we'll get to the bottom of this…::

Remus took a deep, slow breath. "I'm a werewolf," he said simply, holding in the urge to plead with her. ::Let her decide for herself.:: Nevertheless, he still couldn't bear to look at her; to see the hatred in her eyes and the fear in the set of her face. ::Suzanne, look at what you've done to me…::

"Oh, Rem." Remus' heart went cold; this was it, it was happening again… "Why didn't you tell me before?" asked Tulah softly.

"I thought…I thought…"

"You thought I'd leave you."

Remus nodded silently, waiting for the words which would tear apart his life once more…'I'm sorry Remmie, but this isn't going to work out.' He held his breath tight in his chest.

"You idiot!" said Tulah, laughing.

"H-huh?"

"Rem, would I ever do that?"

Something inside him was still waiting to be rejected, thinking that this was all a cruel joke, she couldn't be serious…

The rest of him dragged Tulah into a huge bear hug.

"Remmie, you're crushing me," she gasped finally, and he let her go reluctantly. "Do the others know?" she asked, settling herself against his side and resting her head on his shoulder. (A/N; Mmm…cheeeeese…and fluff…*drool*). "About you, I mean."

"Yes. They found out in third year, that's why they're Animagi. They keep me company when…"

"At full moon?"

"Yeah…then…" Remus' voice trailed away; Tulah shivered. "Is it – painful?" she asked hesitantly.

"You have no idea," said Remus quietly. "I was bitten when I was four…I used to scream every time I saw the moon, even when it wasn't full…but Prongs and Padfoot make it all easier somehow. I don't bite myself when they're around and I'm almost in control again."

"You don't attack them then?"

"We don't bite animals," Remus informed her with a smile. "As you would know, Miss Page, if you had studied the chapter on werewolves when I asked you to last week for D.A.D.A."

Tulah blushed. "Sorry, oh all-knowing one!"

James and Lily, coming into the common room five minutes later, were not surprised to see Tulah and Remus both still engrossed in their books…although they were just a little annoyed that Sirius had brought his Hufflepuff girlfriend into their common room merely to alleviate the boredom of making out in the Astronomy Tower.

"Oi! Padfoot! Get a room, can't you?" hissed James.

Sirius grinned, triumphant at having once more annoyed his friends to the brink of insanity. "I've got one, thanks. Very nice one too," he added, looking approvingly around at the cosy armchairs and crackling fire.

"Well then," Lily snapped, "Get an empty room."

Sirius looked crestfallen. "But that's so boring!"

James was sick to death of Sirius, who had been steadily working his way through the whole of Hufflepuff house's female population and was now showing signs of moving onto Ravenclaw.

"Padfoot?" he said sweetly. "Maybe you'd like to introduce us to your new girlfriend?"

"Umm…yeah…" Sirius shifted uneasily in the girl's arms. "Guys, this is…uh…Helen?" he guessed.

"Sarah," she corrected with a giggle, tossing her chestnut hair out of her face.

"That's it!" said Sirius and gave her butt a celebratory squeeze, making her squeal.

Lily and James left them to it.

Diary,

I can't believe how much easier everything's become; what with having extra classes with my friends, and having James, Sirius and Rem to stop Lindsay bothering me I don't have anything to worry about any more!

Except Remmie…ever since he told me about the werewolf thing, he's been…well…distant, I suppose. I wondered if it was because it was nearly full moon, but I asked Sirius and he says it was about a week ago.

I don't know what else could be wrong…is it something about me? I thought Rem knew I didn't mind about him. Lily says I should talk to him about it, but what if it is me? What would I do then?

"Sirius…?"

Sirius tore his mind away from happy contemplation ::Merlin, check out the legs on that blonde across the room!::

"Mmm?" he said absently, still half lost in thought. ::And the little brunette over there isn't bad either…::

"I need to talk to you," Tulah blurted out. Sirius awoke properly with a start. "Sorry, what?"

"Sirius!" Tulah stamped her foot crossly. "This is serious. Pay attention." Sirius obeyed, and put on his best 'I'm-listening-to-you-yes-I-am' look. "It's about Remus," began Tulah.

Sirius dropped the stupid look at once, and started to pay real attention. "What? You haven't broken up or anything, have you?" Being himself incapable of having a relationship which lasted longer than a week, Sirius was always very eager to preserve his friends'.

Tulah sighed. "No…it's not that…it's just…ever since he told me about the werewolf thing, he's been really remote with me. I don't know what's wrong…is it something I've done?"

Sirius' sigh mirrored Tulah's own; he had been afraid this would happen. Remus was so sensitive about his lycanthropy that it was sometimes difficult to know what to say when he went off on one of his frequent guilt trips. ::Not surprising, the amount of shit he puts up with::

He thought hard before replying carefully to Tulah, "It's nothing you've done Tuls…it's just, Rem's very… aware of what he is. Too much so, now and again," he added pensively.

"So, what should I do?" she asked after a moment, because Sirius had sunk into a meditative silence. He jerked into attentiveness and shrugged. "Nothing you can do. He'll get over himself." ::Hopefully before it's too late::

Dun dun duhhhhh…ah well, I guess you all already know what's gonna happen.

BTW, I'm sorry if posting is a bit slow, my computer disconnects every time I'm on the internet for more than about ten seconds so I have to re-connect every time I do anything which is ANNOYING!