(Disclaimer: this also goes for whatever chapters I've forgotten to put disclaimers in. I own nothing, as usual. Well, I own Sirius Rem and James (and Pete I guess) in my head of course, but alas cruel fate had taken them from me…)

My apologies once more for my pathetic attempts at angst, it's necessary to the plotline but myself I'm more of an irony/sarcasm girl.

Oh my god! Just checked and I've got ELEVEN new reviews! I love you guys! I feel all warm and fluffy!

@Naoko-san: lol. It's the whole ja ne thing I guess!

@LauraKay; why thank you. I feel better about the Pete thing now. But I am trying to include him more…

And you should know if Tulah knows about Rem by now! I think I just assumed that if James knew, Lily knew since all that really happens before the story starts (maybe I should write a prequel…?)

@James; damn. Tell him to post. I want to read it!

@nyx nyght: wow, a new reviewer! Thanks, I like OC stories a lot too. Especially for Sirius and Remus.

@elvencherry07; yeah, he is just a little hormone-driven I guess…just wait till you see the should-be-R-rated bit! You'll never forgive him!

Diary,

Rem barely speaks to me now…and when he does it's only to tell me where I went wrong on the History of Magic test he set me, or exactly what a Bouncing Bulb does.

We haven't kissed for ages.

I don't know what to do. I'm going to have to talk to him about this. Sometime… but not yet…

A week or so later James, Lily, Peter, Caz and Anna were all finishing breakfast when Sirius pelted into the Great Hall, skidded to a halt by the Gryffindor table and sat down, at the same time shoving his fringe out of his eyes and stuffing half a slice of toast into his mouth.

"Mmph!" he said urgently, through his mouthful.

"Yes, classes do start in five minutes," Lily informed him tartly. "And yes, you will get detention of you're late for Transfiguration again."

Sirius shook his head violently and swallowed the toast with a tremendous effort. Unfortunately, this triggered a fit of violent coughing which didn't help matters. "*Cough* Tulah and *cough* Rem…" he began, but the rest of his speech was obscured by spluttering and choking.

Lily patted him on the back. "Take your time."

Finally he managed to come out with, "Tulah…and Remus…broke up…"

A deep hush descended over the entire table. "What?" whispered Lily.

"No way!" James gasped. "They can't have!"

"Not Rem and Tuls," objected Anna disbelievingly…but one of the objects of her disbelief was approaching down the Hall, her face flushed and her eyes rather red.

"Hey guys," said Tulah wearily, sitting down opposite Sirius and reaching for some toast. "I see Sirius has told you."

"Tuls…" Lily began, but Tulah shook her head.

"I really, really don't want to talk about it, ok? Please, Lil?" she added before Lily could protest. They finished their meal in silence, and left the Great Hall for lessons in an equally subdued way. No one asked why Remus hadn't made an appearance.

***FLASHBACK***

((Early that morning, when it's still dark…))

"Remmie?" ventured Tulah, peering into the gloomy common room, meaning to ask him about the homework he'd set her on Ancient Runes. Remus sat up from where he had been asleep on a sofa. "That you, Tuls?"

"Are you ok?" she asked softly, seating herself beside him. He settled his head comfortably in her lap. "You look terrible. It was full moon last night, wasn't it?" Remus smiled sourly. "I'm fine," he assured her, rather coldly. "Thanks for asking." He sounded somehow insincere.

Tulah had had enough. ::Ask him now::

"Rem, what the hell is wrong with you?" ::Shit, that sounded harsh. I didn't mean it that way…:: She tried again. "Sorry…that came out wrong."

"What did you mean to say?" inquired Remus quietly, his usual calm conduct not at all disturbed by her outburst.

"I meant to say…that…Ifeellikeyou'reignoringme." The sentence had poured from her mouth in an incomprehensible stream; nevertheless, Remus seemed to understand.

"I know," he replied, so quietly that Tulah had to strain to hear him.

"What?"

"I know I've been ignoring you this whole week; I'm sorry. I've been…preoccupied lately, what with the moon and all. Can you forgive me?"

A part of Tulah wanted nothing more than to accept his apology, give him a big hug and forget about it all. Unfortunately the rest of her knew that he'd ignored her for the whole month, not just this last week…something else was wrong, and she had to find out what it was. Hiding the tears which sprang into her eyes, she shook her head slowly. Before she could stop it one of the tears rolled silently down her pale cheek.

At the sight of her tears Remus' control broke. He wrapped his arms around her, like he used to do…

::Wait…remember what you promised yourself.:: said a low voice at the back of his mind. ::Let go…::

Remus pulled away at once as if he'd been burned; Tulah swallowed fresh sobs.

"S-see?"

"Yeah…I see…" Remus felt a chill of dread sweep over him. So, she had noticed what he had been barely aware of himself…no, that wasn't true. ::I'm not good enough for you…::

The thought had materialised before he had noticed it; finally, he became fully conscious of the feelings he had kept bottled up for more than a month – and what was worse, he was pretty sure he had just voiced them.

Tulah stared at him, confusion written in every line of her face.

"What did you say?"

Remus, having decided that perhaps coming out with it hadn't been such a bad idea, repeated his sentiments with uncharacteristic defiance. "I'm not good enough for you. Look at me, I'm a werewolf". He indicated the faint streaks of silver, barely visible, in his hair.

"I can see that," Tulah replied calmly, the tiniest trace of a smile beginning to play around her lips.

"I'm a monster!" Remus tried in vain to make her understand. "You know; run, scream, hide from the beast, it'll come and get you. I'll come and get you."

Tulah was prepared to stand her ground; in fact, right up until that moment she had every intention of laughing the whole thing off.

Right up until the moment when she saw something shifting behind his eyes…something not Remus…and try as she might, she couldn't keep the fear from her face.

Remus saw it, and she knew he had seen it.

"You see?" he said wearily, as Tulah bowed her head in silent defeat. "I couldn't stop him, just then…he wanted out. It's the moon, you know." He gestured to the window and into the sky where the moon hung, an almost perfect orb of liquid silver, for all the world as if this was Astronomy and he was telling her yet another useless fact, to be noted down and forgotten.

"I'm sorry…for everything," Tulah whispered. It was a meaningless apology, for a wrong which was no fault of her own, but he appreciated it all the same.

"There was nothing you could have done." Suddenly he wanted desperately to make her see that none of this had been her doing. ::I need someone who loves all of me…:: The wolf stirred once more inside him; once more he saw her through the wolf's eyes, as quarry. Remus shuddered. ::…Even him…::

He rose quickly to his feet and left the common room before she could see the single tear glistening in the corner of one amber eye. ::Just like Suzanne…::

Tulah sat on the sofa, in the dark, in total silence, clutching her books to her chest.

Then suddenly, without warning, she buried her head in her cold hands and cried her heart out.

***END FLASHBACK***

Tulah tossed and turned with restive insomnia, unable to prevent a stream of painful memories from running through her mind; overcome, she pulled her pillow over her head and sobbed.

Suddenly the dorm seemed unbearably close and stuffy – the heat was pressing uncomfortably in on her. She slid slowly out of bed, careful not to wake her dorm-mates, and padded downstairs to the Gryffindor common room, letting out a sigh of satisfaction as the cool air hit her.

::I wonder if Remmie's awake now…::

Deep in thought, she sank down into one of the squishy armchairs without noticing that it was already occupied. "Hey, I didn't ask for a lapdance!" protested an amused voice. Tulah leapt to her feet with a shriek. "Woah! Calm down, it's only me," said Sirius, still grinning. He patted his lap invitingly. "Sit back down if you like." Tulah obeyed, frowning suspiciously. Sirius ignored the frown – he was much more preoccupied by her red eyes.

"Have you been crying again?" he asked sternly, lifting her around to face him. She nodded guiltily. "I couldn't help it."

"You've been quiet today," he commented, after a short pause. Tulah snorted incredulously. "Hardly surprising," she replied acidly. Sirius drew a sharp breath; mainly because he realised how severely he had managed to put his foot in it, but partly because Tulah, wriggling uncomfortably, had jabbed an elbow into his stomach. "Oof!" he observed eloquently. "Did you have to do that?"

"Well, you were the one who made me sit on your lap in the first place," Tulah snapped, aggravated with him – and by no means for the first time that day.

Sirius knew he was getting on her nerves; more than that, he was behaving like the most insensitive prat in the universe. He couldn't help it; she still refused to tell him what had happened between her and Remus and he wasn't going to rest until he knew, because if Remus had hurt her, Sirius was going to take his neck and…

"Do you really want to know?" asked Tulah, staring into the fire. Sirius didn't ask how she knew what he was thinking about, because she had been able to read his mind with disturbing accuracy since the beginning of term.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The all-important question," said Sirius, with a smile that she did not return. "I want to know, sweetheart, because you've been looking like a depressed codfish all day, and neither you nor Moony will say anything to the rest of us."

The somewhat unusual simile had surprised a laugh out of her, which had been Sirius' main objective in the first place.

"Now, I believe you had something to tell me…?"

An hour or so later Sirius deposited a sleeping Tulah in her bed, pulled her duvet up to her neck and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"'Night," he muttered as he left, closing the door behind him.

"Night Sirius," Tulah replied softly as soon as he was out of earshot, a tiny smile playing around the corners of her mouth.

Diary,

Term ends tomorrow. Sirius, James, Lily, Pete and I are staying at school;

Remus isn't.

I suppose it's for the best really. We haven't spoken to each other since that night…whenever he enters a room I leave it, and he does the same. Maybe this way we can get over each other.

Strange; ever since Remus and I broke up, all the Gryffindor boys have been very…how to say this…attentive to me. Not the Marauders, of course, but all the rest. I suppose it comes with having friends, and being single. Odd, isn't it!

Poor Sirius spends half his time defending my innocence, and the other half chasing after the Ravenclaw girls'.

I think he's a little confused about what 'long-term' means; his longest relationship so far has lasted a week. They broke up because he said he felt suffocated…yeah, right! The only reason he feels suffocated is because his head's stuck so far up his own arse!

Remus sat gloomily in an otherwise empty compartment of the Hogwarts Express, cradling his aching head in his hands and missing Tulah.

The last few days had been agony; watching her drift unhappily away from him, slowly but with terrible finality, had wounded him more deeply than he could ever have imagined.

::I had to end it. What if I'd hurt her?::

::You could have hurt Sirius, or James, or Peter. That never stopped you being friends with them:: muttered a small, rebellious part of his mind.

::That was different!:: shouted the rest.

::How?::

Remus found to his surprise that he couldn't answer that question. It came upon him, quite suddenly, that he had made a mistake.

::No shit, Sherlock:: remarked the mutinous branch of thought, with snide satisfaction.