(Disclaimer; alas, once again Sirius has slipped through my fingers and remains irrefutably (damn that's a good word) the property of the illustrious JKR)

@elvencherry07; cookies to you! Yes, this is already written, as James knows (he's read it)

@James; yeah do, I want to read it.

@ary; yes I'll keep writing…but not this fic, because it's finished *sniggers* heh…mass-production…

@LauraKay; no! No review to brighten my day! *sniff*

And mark you, this was written before the whole where-has-Peter-gone thing. Don't say I'm not good to him! (Well…he's in it, anyway.)

Oh and you get two chapters mostly from now on as I have to post this before I get back to school on Wednesday. GCSEs! Ohgodohgodohgod I'm gonna FAIL.

Actually, you can't fail can you *thinks* hah, foiled 'em!

Sirius, James, Lily and Tulah were sitting in the common room one rainy afternoon chatting, when Lily suddenly glanced up at the ceiling and screamed. James, on whose lap she was perched, covered his ears and winced. "Lily-Flower," he complained with exaggerated courtesy.  "Must you do that?"

Lily pointed upwards with a shaking hand; the others, following her finger, saw a strange sight. Tulah gaped; James sniggered, and Sirius roared with unrestrained laughter.

Peter Pettigrew, floating close to the roof, regarded him balefully. "'Snot funny," he remonstrated. Sirius waved a weak hand. "Course not!" he gasped between chuckles. "Absolutely not funny. Nope, nope. I'm not at all amused…"

"Who did it?" inquired James, with only the faintest hint of a laugh in his voice; he had always been marginally more capable of controlling himself.

Peter blushed. "I…um…don't actually know," he admitted. This time James lost his grip and Sirius collapsed to the floor, close to hysterics. Lily took over. "You must know who it was, Pete."

Peter shook his head. "No idea. It was a hex on the portrait hole, I've been trying to get down for hours."

James and Sirius, serious again, got to their feet. "Have you asked the Fat Lady?" Peter looked puzzled. "I never thought of that," he confessed. Sirius went to do so, whilst Lily and Tulah applied themselves to the difficult problem of how to get Peter down and James watched them, chuckling to himself in an evil kind of way.

Ten minutes or so later Peter was safely on the ground again, James having finally admitted to knowing how to reverse the hex, and Sirius was reporting back.

"She says the only person who's been anywhere near her this afternoon apart from us was Lins," he frowned. "But why would she want to hex Gryffindors?"

"She's been hanging around with Snape and Malfoy's lot ever since we pranked her," James told him heavily. "There's even rumours that she's going out with Malfoy."

Sirius nodded impatiently. "I know that. But I still don't see why she should prank her own house."

"We prank each other, don't we?" said Lily rationally.

"Yeah…but this is different, it's spiteful. Pete could have been up there for hours."

"You thought it was pretty funny to start with," Tulah reminded him. Sirius shrugged. "It was!"

"Well, we need to talk to Lindsay about this," Tulah insisted, more confidently than she felt. The rest agreed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," sniffed Lindsay the next day, when Sirius, Lily and Tulah confronted her in the Great Hall at lunchtime.

"Sure you do Lins," Sirius smiled, taking the seat opposite her. "You're the only one who could have done it. Own up, sweetheart."

Tulah, to her surprise, felt a twinge of jealousy. ::That's his name for me...::

Lindsay made no reply to any of Sirius' accusations…at least, not until he had played his trump card.

"Lindsay darling, you're getting on my nerves. If you won't cooperate I'm afraid I'll have to make sure the rest of the school knows that you dye your hair." Lindsay froze.

"How did you find out?" she whispered.

Sirius grinned and tapped his nose. "I have my methods…"

"He means," said Lily quietly in Tulah's ear, "That he's been snooping around in her bathroom again."

Lindsay was visibly wavering; she chewed her bottom lip nervously and shuffled in her seat. "Promise you won't tell James Potter?" she implored. Sirius nodded, hiding his anticipation with a frown.

"It was me," she admitted, "But Malfoy and Snape told me to." Then a little of the old, confident Lindsay showed through again and she leaned in across the table until her face was inches from Sirius'. Again, a tiny stab of jealousy shot through Tulah. "You're not cross with me are you, Siri?" she murmured to him.

"Furious," Sirius told her solemnly, withdrawing his head from her reach and getting up to leave.

On the way to their end of the table Sirius was full of exuberance, which was rather exhausting for Lily and Tulah who suffered his stream of comments in pained silence. "…And did you see, she put her head right here, and I walked right away, which means I'm over her!" he roared. Tulah shuddered; Lily winced. "…And hey, now I'm over her, check out the legs on that blonde…and wow, that's a cute smile…look, there's James and Pete, come on…oh no, that's my last girlfriend, lets go this way, OH MY GOD, BLUEBERRY MUFFINS!"

He seated himself next to James, who passed him the muffins before he could start talking again. Even Sirius couldn't make noise with three muffins stuffed into his mouth, so for the rest of breakfast a blissful silence reigned.

The red-tinted evening sunshine shone through Remus' bedroom window and painted the walls an angry shade of crimson, which matched his mood perfectly. He couldn't help being cross at Tulah, although he knew none of this was her fault. He wanted desperately to write to her and apologise for his behaviour, though even he could tell that it was too soon. ::I'll leave it be…we both need the holidays to cool off. When the new term begins, we can start over again.::

"Lils, where's Padfoot?" asked Tulah from the doorway to the dorm. Lily, who was sitting on her bed writing a holiday essay for Professor Kettleburn on 'Why it is Wrong to Hang your Friends up by their Ears when they ruin your Hippogriff Feeding Session', pushed her red hair out of her face and shrugged. "No idea. Tried the kitchens?" Tulah nodded. "I went there first." Lily frowned. "If he isn't in the kitchens, and he isn't in the common room, then he must be pranking someone…wonder why he didn't tell us?" She thought for a moment. "Unless…do you know where he keeps his bike?"

"No. I didn't know he had it here."

"Oh yeah, he gets it sent by his friend every Christmas term. It's behind Hagrid's hut, on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. There's an old shed out there, knock and say it's you, or he won't answer. Why d'you want him anyway?"

"Need help with my D.A.D.A," said Tulah briefly, before setting off in search of Sirius.

She knocked nervously on the door of the shed. "It's Tulah," she called. There was a thump, then Sirius' voice floated through the closed door. "Hang on a second." A moment later the door flew open. "Hi, come in." Tulah obeyed, looking around curiously. Sirius' bike stood in the centre of the room, with several of its vital pieces scattered on the floor around it. "I'm nearly done," Sirius announced, picking them up and fitting them back into position.

Tulah leaned against a handy workbench, watching him. "What did you want me for?" Sirius inquired with his head under the bike.

"Oh, I needed some help with that D.A.D.A essay," Tulah responded vaguely, then remembered she had left her books upstairs.

She told Sirius, who laughed and withdrew his head from underneath the bike. "Only you, sweetheart," he sighed. Tulah nodded ruefully. "Sorry. It's the hair." (A/N; does this sound like someone we know??? *Points at herself to help out the dumb-asses at the back*) She tugged resentfully at her blonde curls. (A/N; well, I want curly hair, OK?)

Chuckling, Sirius ran his hand through his own jet-black hair. "Can't say I know how you feel…anyway, I'm done here. I need to test it out though, like to come?"

Tulah eyed the enormous bike nervously. "Umm…"

"Ah go on Tuls, its fun." Sirius stuck out his bottom lip. "Please?"

Tulah gave in, although perhaps less gracefully than usual; she was genuinely afraid of the bike. She'd ridden brooms before, of course, but brooms were supposed to fly. Whereas bikes were definitely not.

Climbing apprehensively up behind Sirius, she wondered if she was making a mistake. This was, after all, the boy famous for crashing his motorbike into the one tree in an otherwise bare field. Sirius flicked a couple of switches ("Invisibility Booster, Silencing System," he muttered under his breath), and started the engine. (A/N; I swear there's a cooler phrase for that somewhere. Anyone good with bikes who'd like to enlighten me?) The bike roared into life; Tulah closed her eyes, feeling rather sick. A second later the wind was whipping her face, then her stomach dropped. She didn't dare look.

"You can see the school," Sirius called temptingly over his shoulder. "Come on Tuls; open your eyes, I know you've got them shut." Tulah opened one cautious, reluctant eye a crack and gasped. "Was that a good gasp, or a get me out of here gasp?" asked Sirius cautiously.

"Bloody fantastic!"

"Glad you like it!"

"It's incredible!"

Sirius drove in silence, genuinely glad that she was enjoying it so much. He had always been fond of the view from this point, but the last girl he had taken up here – Lindsay – hadn't appreciated it nearly as much. She'd spent half the time grabbing him around the waist and screaming.

He landed a couple of minutes later, dismounted (A/N; Um…bike person? Is that right? Motorbike terminology not my strong point…) and wheeled Tulah and the bike back into the shed. Tulah, looking more than a little disappointed, got off too.

"Thanks for the ride…"

"Oh, you're welcome. Come for a longer one sometime?"

Tulah smiled. "I'd love to."

"Well, I need to pack up…meet you in the common room in five minutes or so?"

"Sure." She turned to leave, but Sirius caught her wrist. "Tulah…"

Tulah stopped; half-twisted back around. Sirius took her other hand and drew her gently towards him. She met his gaze and held it, feeling her breathing quicken. His face was inches from her own…

"Padfoot! Tuls! Are you coming to supper, or what?" They sprang apart – James was silhouetted in the doorway to the shed.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure, we'll come up with you now." He turned to Tulah. "You ready?"

"Yup." ::Only I can't stop shaking…::

James looked from one to the other, puzzled. Neither of them had moved, which was odd, because you'd think they'd be uncomfortable, practically grinding hips like that...

(A/N; not the brightest of sparks, our Prongsie…)

"So…are you coming, or what?"

They made their way back up to the school in silence.

Diary,

It's night time. I haven't spoken to Sirius since this afternoon…not sure what to say for a start, but I can't seem to shake off the feeling that, even if we had…well…kissed, we'd have been making a mistake…

Sirius stared moodily into the crackling fire in the Gryffindor common room; he, too, was having second thoughts about he and Tulah's…moment.

::What the hell did you think you were playing at? She's a friend, you dickhead. You have a rule, remember? Friends are for hanging out with. Other girls are for sleeping with. So why were you going to kiss Tulah?::

Whatever part of him had wanted something to happen between them had no answer.

Tulah descended the last few steps down to the common room, her head bent, and banged hard into someone at the bottom.

"Ow!"

"OW!"

"Oh…"

"Ah."

"Um…Sirius, hi."

"Tulah. Hi…"

At exactly the same time, they both blurted, "About that…"

"It was a mistake, wasn't it?" said Sirius softly.

"Yeah." Tulah was surprised, and more than a little relieved, to find that he felt the same way.

"So we're just friends, nothing more?"

"Exactly."

Relief flooded through Sirius; not that it wouldn't have been nice to have been going out with Tulah, but to lose her as a friend would have made it all worthless. He gave her a big hug, noting that she seemed just as thankful as he was for the reprieve; good. No hard feelings, then.

Tulah cleared her throat. "Um…Sirius?"

"Mmm?"

"You can take you hand off my arse now."

"Ah…sorry." He removed the offending hand with a trace of reluctance and they walked to breakfast as if nothing had happened.

That night, while she was watching Sirius and Peter play Exploding Snap, she felt a hand on her arm. It was Chris Chant, one of the only two Gryffindor seventh-years not in the Marauders. Tulah had never noticed him much – she tended to hang around with James, Lily, Peter and Sirius or no one at all. Looking at him now, she realised with a start that he was actually quite good-looking, in a floppy-curly-brown-haired kind of way. "Can I, uh, talk to you for a moment?" he asked quietly.

"Sure," she frowned, not sure what this was about. Sirius looked up from his game; the cards exploded in Peter's face.

"What was it you wanted to say?" she asked, ignoring Sirius' bellow of laughter – the Snap had singed Peter's fair eyebrows off.

"I just wondered," he said bluntly, "Whether you and Black are an item."

Tulah met Sirius' laughing eyes, smiling, and shook her head. "No. No, we're just good friends." She watched Sirius' efforts not to crack up with amusement, not at all bothered that he was listening in on what was supposed to be a private conversation.

Chris was talking again; she tried to pay attention, but the faces Sirius was pulling were distracting to say the least…

"…Well, what I'm really trying to say is, would you like to go out sometime?"

Tulah gaped. "What?"

Chris smiled – it wasn't Remus' smile, but it was cute enough… "Merlin, don't make me say it again!"

Tulah finally found her voice. "Sure, I'd love to go out with you. When?"

"Wednesday ok with you?"

"Yup…see you then, then."

Chris left, looking relieved, and Sirius came to sit beside Tulah, grinning his most evil grin. Tulah was rather pale. "What was that about?" she wondered.

 Sirius looked surprised. "Well? Why shouldn't guys ask you out?"

Tulah snorted. "Why should they?" Before Sirius could protest she had carried on. "I'm small…"

"Petite!"

"…stupid…"

"Bullshit."

"…shy…"

"Discreet!"

"And my hair is dishwater blonde!"

Sirius smiled. "Now you're just fishing for compliments!" he accused.

::Godammit, I was so jealous, I swear I could have knocked the guy out where he stood…how dare he ask out my girl?::

::Except she isn't my girl, is she? We made an agreement, we're just friends::

But Sirius had never wanted to kiss anyone quite so badly…in fact; he wanted to do much, much more than just kiss her…

::NO!:: He stopped the fantasy before it had even started and sat up in bed. ::Shit, I fancy Tulah! And I just told her that we were friends, nothing more. And now she's going out with wotsisname…I'm fucked! Well and truly fucked…::

Diary,

Well…that was an interesting date…

Oh Merlin, it was awful! Chris is very sweet and everything, but a cheesier guy I've never met! Every ten seconds it was, 'you've got beautiful eyes' or 'I don't know what I'd do without you' – which is all very well, but I've only known him for about three days! I mean, Remus worked fast but this is ridiculous!

So when he asked, at the end, if I wanted to meet up again I said no.

Thank god! What a bloody lucky escape. I think I'll stick with the Marauders, and leave other guys well alone. At least the Marauders don't try to kiss me when I've just told them no. Well, most of them don't anyway…

Ooh ooh cliffie! Doncha just love 'em! Hehe…