(Disclaimer; f-e-e; nada, JKR; todos)
@katesparrow; woah! I log on and there's like nine reviews from you! Thanks! You'll be beating Naoko-san if she's not careful. And I'm reallyreally sorry, but…Remmie doesn't get anyone…*sob* I know I know. But I'll write a sequel, don't worry!
@Naoko-san; forgive me for what I'm about to do! And Remus went away for the holidays, remember? Another of my convenient plot devices. They obey ME. They have holidays when I say, hehehe And now he's back, better late than never.
@Sparky; thanks! And I'll check out your sister's work!
@everyone in general; I'm really sorry for what I do to Rem, you all should know I love him and he's my babe, and he'll find a soulmate in the sequel *grin* I think you'll like the epilogue though, when I post it. Anyway, here he is, the man himself…
"Rem!" Lily shrieked, flinging herself at him ecstatically. James looked pained. Remus greeted him and Peter more restrainedly, and then looked around.
"Where's Tuls? And Sirius," he added, as an afterthought.
"They'll be in in a moment," James replied, exchanging looks with Lily. "So where've you been?"
"Huh?"
"You're two days late back," Lily clarified.
"Oh…you know, the moon and stuff."
James looked sympathetic. "Were you ok without us?" he inquired quietly.
"I can hold my own." Remus was rather offended. "But…no, not really." He rolled up his sleeve to display a new set of scars across his arm. "That's why I'm late. I had to heal up," he admitted.
James sucked in his breath; Peter looked rather ill. "You should've come back early," he scolded, looking up at Remus sternly through his watery eyes.
"Yeah," James joined in. "You're fine with us there."
"What's this?" Sirius asked from behind them, coming into the common room with his arm round Tulah and Caz and Anna trailing behind. "Rem! Long time no see!"
Remus nodded hello to Caz, smiled at Anna, rolled his eyes at Sirius, came to Tulah…and stopped.
Dead silence fell.
Tulah met Remus' eyes steadily, Sirius' arm still wrapped around her shoulders. She seemed to notice it for the first time, and wriggled out of his grip. Sirius looked defeated.
Tulah licked her lips nervously. "Hey Rem."
"Hey."
The tension relaxed; Sirius burst out laughing, and draped his arm around Tulah's shoulders again. Tulah pushed it away, looking torn; she kept glancing at Remus, as if to see how he was taking it.
Remus found that he wasn't that bothered; he was jealous, but bearably so, and more because he felt he ought to be then because Sirius was breaking through the rules.
Ordinarily he would have been furious – it was unwritten law that you didn't go for a friend's ex, especially among the Marauders – but it was pretty obvious that Tulah liked Sirius back, despite not wanting his arm around her.
Remus sighed. ::It's your fault:: he told himself. ::And you're a bloody fool.::
Tulah was coming towards him, now the focus had been taken off them by the double act that was James and Sirius.
"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip. Remus realised that they understood each other perfectly.
"So am I."
"Friends, then?"
Remus nodded speechlessly, then pulled her into a hug. It was his last chance and, for the sake of those dearest to his heart, he didn't take it.
Lily leaned back contentedly into James' chest and he in turn sank into the sofa with a sigh of satisfaction, tired from a gruelling Quidditch practice. "I really think the chasers are starting to get that formation," he told her cheerfully. Lily nodded absently – although she was usually happy to discuss Quidditch with him, she had something on her mind; something, in her view, infinitely more important than the mysterious inner workings of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. "What d'you think about Sirius and Tulah?" she asked James suddenly, twisting around to look at him. James was surprised.
"What about them? They're friends. It's sweet."
Lily snorted derisively, unable to believe quite how unperceptive her boyfriend was. "You're useless, you know that?" James nodded – she told him so every day, on the basis that he needed someone to deflate his ego or his head would get so big it would float right away. He waited patiently for her to enlighten him. "Sirius…fancies…Tulah," said Lily, slowly and clearly. James blinked foolishly for a moment, trying to process what she had just said.
"Bullshit!" he declared after a second's silence. "You know Sirius; he'd have done something about it by now."
"He has, idiot! Haven't you noticed?"
James frowned, trying to remember. "Well, there was that time when he was trying to get her to sit on his knee…and that time when she kept having to shove his hands off her arse…and he's always staring at her…and…and…OH MY GOD! SIRIUS FANCIES TULAH!"
"SHHHHH!"
"Why? Doesn't she know about it?"
"If she didn't before, she would now," said Lily reprovingly. "But she does know, as it happens."
"Why aren't they together, then?" asked James, puzzled. That was how it worked with Sirius. He decided he wanted a girl; she was flattered by the attention; Sirius dated her, slept with her, and dumped her. True, it was slightly different because Sirius and Tulah were already friends, but from James' point of view that only gave the relationship a marginally better chance of succeeding long-term.
::Maybe if Sirius actually knew the girl, he wouldn't just use her…or maybe not…::
"Because Sirius is acting like a total jerk, as usual, and ruining every chance he ever had with her," said Lily wearily.
"How is he acting like a jerk?" James asked, slightly put out by the inference that his friend was anything less than an example to everyone.
Lily sighed; she was sick of Tulah telling her the facts, in detail, over and over again. She took a deep breath. "He – and I quote – 'keeps jumping on her and trying to harass her.' See now?"
"Uhmmm…nope. Well, sort of…ok, yeah, I do see. But what harm can it do?"
"Duh! It'll wreck any hopes of them even getting off to a good start."
"From what you've been telling me, they've been getting off quite enough already, never mind good starts!" James sniggered. Lily smacked the back of his head, which had about as much effect as a mouse hitting an elephant. "Don't you get it?" she hissed. "They're perfect for each other, they just don't see it! Like us!"
James flashed her a soppy smile. "Aww Lily-flower, you think we're perfect for each other?" he cooed. Lily smacked him again; utterly pointless, because it only made him laugh. She gave up and continued. "So we have to help them out, right? Because, if all Sirius is going to do is try to snog her every time he sees her, they're never going to get anywhere."
James' soppy smile turned to a wicked grin. "But that's how I got you," he said, mock-innocently.
Lily blushed scarlet. "Shut up, James."
"Yes ma'm!"
"We're agreed that we have to get them together?"
"I s'pose so…but I still don't see why we can't just leave them to it," James complained.
"Because Sirius is useless when it comes to saying how he feels," Lily explained. "And that's how you got me," she added.
James looked disappointed. "What, so the kissing in the closet had nothing to do with it?"
"Ahem...maybe a bit…but that's beside the point! The point is; we have to get them together."
"Oh have it your own way woman," James said, giving in to Lily's inexorable will. "So what are we going to do?"
Lily leaned in conspiratorially. "I have a great idea…"
Tulah sat hunched in an armchair in the common room, ostensibly studying with Caz and Anna but really watching Sirius and his latest girlfriend gloomily.
::Why am I so upset? I can't expect him not to go out with other girls, just because he keeps hitting on me. I do turn him down, after all. I should be happy, this might mean he's got over that stupid phase and we can go back to being friends again…::
Sirius knew perfectly well that Tulah was watching him, and he thought he had seen a shadow of pain flash across her face when she noticed him and Sophie together. ::Getting jealous, sweetheart?:: he thought to himself with a grin.
Suddenly she was staring right into his eyes. Sirius faltered. He found his mind imagining them together and to his irritation, he was stuck with Sophie's bony weight digging into him.
Tulah swallowed; all the hurt and conflict drained away at their unspoken connection and her breathing began to quicken.
Shaking her head to clear it and turning pointedly back to her books, she did her best to ignore the grinning Gryffindor sitting oh, ten feet away from her. Sirius left Sophie, who got up and went out of the common room without complaint, and came to sit beside her.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," he offered hesitantly. "I was wrong." Tulah smiled her acceptance, knowing how hard it was for him to apologise to anyone; he having made it his business to avoid doing so since first year.
"You have no idea how good it feels to have you say that!" she smirked. Sirius wrapped an arm around her waist, just managing to resist the temptation to say something cheeky. Tulah slid out of his grip without comment and bent over her Potions essay, frowning. "Want me to help?" Sirius offered hopefully. Tulah fixed him with a sharp stare. "Only if you keep your hands, mouth and anything else you have in mind to yourself," she replied acidly. Sirius shrugged his acceptance of her terms and examined the assignment, chewing absent-mindedly on her pencil. "It's quite simple," he explained, "But we did some of it last year, so you just need your notes from then."
Tulah fished them out, wrinkling her nose. "My handwriting was terrible! I can't read a word."
"Let's see?" He grabbed the papers and squinted at them. "Shit, this is like code! The…terg…arnad…gree…?" He gave up and handed them back. "I'll go and get my notes. Stay there a minute."
Tulah gaped after him in utter bewilderment. ::Sirius Black's just spent five whole minutes in my company, and he hasn't laid a finger on me!:: She frowned suddenly. ::What'd I do wrong?::
Lily pointed over James' shoulder. "Ahh! Look!"
"What, what? No wait, let me guess, the aliens are invading?"
"Nope."
"The Slytherins are all dead??"
"Nope."
"Father Christmas finally came???"
"James, for god's sake just look."
James looked.
Tulah and Sirius were bent over her Potions essay; their heads close together, their knees almost touching.
"Aren't they sweet?" cooed Lily. James pretended to throw up.
"I don't think we need the plan," Lily decided.
"No."
"No."
"Pity…"
"Mmm."
"Done it!" squealed Tulah, throwing her arms around Sirius, who grinned. ::She hugged me! All on her own! Progress!::
"Like help on anything else?" he offered, surprised to find that he was nervous. ::I'm never nervous…::
"D.A.D.A. I hate it!"
"No way, how can you hate it? It's the best subject there is!"
"But it's so hard!"
"Easy!"
"Hard!"
"Easy!!!!"
"HARD!!!!!!!!!"
"EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh, never mind…"
She emptied her bag onto the table in search of her work; Sirius groaned. "Mess!"
Tulah's only response was to stick out her tongue. She held out her answers to Sirius, shoved the rest haphazardly back into the bag, and gave him her full attention. "Go on then, prove that D.A.D.A is easy," she challenged.
Sirius accepted the challenge with a wicked grin. "It will be my pleasure."
Half an hour later, Tulah admitted defeat. "Ok…sometimes…"
"Yes...?"
"Just occasionally…"
"Yes…?"
"D.A.D.A can be easy," she said in a rush as Sirius whooped his triumph. "Thanks for the help," she added gratefully, getting up to leave.
"You going to bed?" Sirius inquired.
"Yeah." Tulah waited for the inevitable 'can I come?' accompanied by his usual snigger. She was pleasantly surprised when he simply settled back into his chair with a shrug. "'Night."
Tulah hesitated, then bent down and kissed his cheek. "'Night Padfoot," she called over her shoulder as she left.
Sirius sat back in his chair, fighting a losing battle to keep his trademark smirk from spreading over his face, and decided that a cold shower was definitely in order.
Diary,
I have no idea what came over me!!!! He was just being so sweet, I couldn't resist…
Oh god.
I have a crush on Sirius Black!
I can't get him out my head. When he was pulling that bitch Sophie…!
I'll think about something else. Stars, think stars…just try and think about stars for 30 seconds, 1 star, 2 stars, 3 stars, 4 stars, 5 stars Sirius, SHIT.
Bollocks, I've left my star chart in the common room.
Tulah darted down the stairs on tiptoe, and crept into the common room feeling rather exposed in her blue rugby shirt and boxers. ::Still, no one's here to see.:: As she went in she suddenly noticed a suspiciously Sirius-shaped shadow (A/N; ALLITERATION!!!! *starts jumping about and squashes several innocent readers*) on the wall. ::Shit! The last person I want to see!::
"Hey you!" he grinned.
"Umm…hi! I…I lost my umm, Sirius chart."
"Huh?"
"Star chart, I lost my star chart."
"Hmm…" he smirked. Tulah made a face at him; he pulled an equally grotesque one of his own and stood up, holding out her star chart. "It was under the chair."
Tulah checked the clock on the wall. "It's midnight! Why are you always down here whenever I come in?"
"I could ask you the same…" he began but then corrected himself, catching sight of her glare, "…but I'm not going to. I'm going to answer your question instead!"
"Good for you!"
"I'm a bit of an insomniac, y'see. I'm usually down here until two or three in the morning."
"Oh." That seemed to be about all there was to say. Tulah took her star chart, feeling a blush start to spread over her cheeks. She fumbled for something to say. "Thanks for the help before…"
"You're welcome."
"'Night then."
"'Night."
Sirius was looking at her expectantly. "What?" she asked nervously. Sirius tapped his cheek, still fixing her with that hopeful look. Tulah bent over and gave him a kiss on the proffered cheek, her face flaming, then hurried towards the door.
::Wait…what the hell am I walking away for?:: She stopped, turned back and crossed the room in two strides; taking his hand, she pulled him towards her and crushed her lips against his. Sirius, surprised but by no means displeased, responded in kind.
Tulah drew away long before Sirius wanted her to and began to climb the stairs to her dorm. "Hey!" Sirius called after her, brain still whirling from the abrupt start and then finish of their kiss. "Finish what you started!" Tulah ignored him.
Sirius burst into the girls' dorm a second later; Lily glared at him. "Girls' dorm, Padfoot, with extra emphasis on the girl."
"Yeah, uhuh, on m'way out, but only," he fixed Tulah with a piercing stare, "If I get to talk to Tuls. In private."
Tulah shrugged, trying to look as noncommittal as possible, and followed him out of the dorm, through the portrait-hole and along the corridor.
"Where are we going?" she ventured, after they had been walking for five minutes or so. "Here," Sirius replied, shoving open the door to a room she had never seen before; comfortable, with a crackling fire in the grate and several large portraits in ornate frames hanging on the walls. Sirius followed her in and shut the door. "We need to talk," he told her curtly.
"W-what about?"
Sirius gestured impatiently. "Everything!"
"Well I'm sorry for existing!"
"Not that...it's just the way you….you mess with my mind!" He paused, heaving a breath in, " Like that kiss…just now…and before. It's like my mind's running in circles and…."
"Ok ok ok, I get it!" Tulah sighed, impatient.
"Don't be so fucking condescending!" Sirius snapped, not amused with her nonchalant attitude.
"Fine, I'll stay away, happy?! Tulah snapped back. Sirius ignored her and carried on with his ranting.
"Wherever I fucking go, you're there somehow and you won't go away, you're in my head the whole time, and I can't do anything with you there," he shouted. Tulah gaped at him blankly. "I can't even flirt anymore, dammit. You're ruining my sex life!"
"Well that's your fucking problem isn't it?! It's all you ever think about!"
"Bullshit!" Sirius retorted angrily.
"Oh really? Go on then, name me two more things you think about."
"This is ridiculous!"
"You can't, can you? You're a fucking nymphomaniac!"
(A/N; Getting a little technical for my liking…am I the only one who knows what that means, BTW? Any suggestions for a replacement? I'm liking sex-crazed imbecile so far.)
"Shut the hell up!" Sirius yelled, getting really furious now.
"Why should I? You started it!" Tulah yelled back, "You do nothing but ruin every girl in the bloody school right in front of your friends! I don't know why we put up with a childish brat like you!"
One of the portraits sucked the breath sharply through her teeth. "That's got to hurt…" she whispered to her neighbour.
Sirius glared at her and replied coldly, "I'll survive."
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Tulah spat, taking out her wand and facing up to him. Sirius curled his lip scornfully, looking down his nose at her.
"You really think I'm going to bother?" he asked incredulously. A second later he had gone, banging the door behind him, and Tulah was left standing in the middle of the strange room, shaking with anger, her wand still grasped tightly in her hand.
Diary,
I bet he has a tiny prick. Sirius I mean. Someone as arrogant as that must be making up for something! I told Remmie and Lily and everyone about it. The argument I mean; the size of his dick didn't come into it. I was kind of worried that Remmie would be all 'so can we get back together', now that Sirius is out of the picture, but he wasn't, he was really understanding…
"Prongs, Lils, Moony, everyone, can I talk to you?" asked Tulah, sitting on the sofa across from them.
"Sirius has already told us," said Remus quietly. "You two had a…ah…disagreement, right?"
"But the way he told it, you came off much worse, so we'd love to hear your side of the story!" Anna commented brightly.
"Sirius is a dickhead," said Tulah, getting straight to the point.
"Funny," mused James, "That's what Sirius said."
"Nono, Sirius said Tulah was a slut," Lily corrected. "Not a dickhead."
"What did you fight about?" asked Remus with interest.
Tulah frowned. "I'm not sure…it doesn't matter…"
James and Lily exchanged significant looks. "Ok…well, if you want to talk to us you know where we are," Lily smiled.
"Thanks." Tulah smiled back as she stood up; unaware of the looks Lily and James were shooting at each other behind her.
Once Tulah had left, Lily turned to James. "What d'you think? Is the Plan on again?" (A/N; I know I am a little…um…how to say…vague about the Plan, but that's because I don't know what it is, ok? Heh…)
"Um…no. I don't think so. I think we should leave them alone," James declared.
"I agree," said Lily, surprisingly.
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Lily and James agreeing? Someone call a doctor, I think these guys are sick." Lily stuck her tongue out at him.
Caz continued in a more serious vein. "I think you were right, though. Tulah took it pretty well, considering. They've been friends for a while now…I don't want them to break apart any more than you guys do, but this is something they need to sort out on their own…"
Just to say, the end will definitely be up by tomorrow, and then I'll start posting the sequel which I've just started next time I'm back from school. My GCSE results will be featured, as I know you're all so desperate to know how I do…