DISTANCE
Shinomori Aoshi's POV
by dyosa :)
**Standard disclaimers apply.**
***
Without looking, I sense you standing behind the screen doors. I do not
need to look up and reassure myself for I am very receptive with your
presence. Especially your presence.
And so I calculate the distance between you and me.
Several miles away, at least.
But you are just there, behind the screen doors, and I, sitting here in this
room, without company. But I intend to let you be so many miles away.
Very far away from me.
I do not need you to get too close, for if I do... but no, I cannot let you.
My hands are sinfully stained. I have done selfish and unjust acts that are
unforgivable, dimming my already dark soul. And my heart--I do not even
know if I am still worthy to have a heart.
I was one of those remnants of a dark past that must remain dead in this
new era.
But you were always there, and I, the undeserving one, would always send
you away. I do not want to, but I have to.
You are young, blameless with an untainted soul and a chaste heart. I
want to protect what you have--something that I have lost so long ago.
That is why I protect you from me.
But it pains me so to push you away.
You are not looking at me anymore. I seize the chance to take a glance at
you, my curiosity winning over my will. You are solemnly looking at a tray on
the low table as you absently play with a gold fabric in your callused, but
exquisite, hands.
A light breeze passed by, and a wisp of black hair caresses your cheek.
I hold my breath. Capturing the image to be forever imprinted in my mind.
Your angelic face, your silken black tresses, those prussian blue eyes staring
thoughtfully in space.
But your eyes where emotions are ever present. The same emotions that I
struggle to be kept away. But you are never afraid to show them. It is
your strength, and I could never understand such things. I consider it as a
weakness, and to become a strong leader, I have become such as my state.
Unfeeling.
As I contemplate on the subject further, I found out you are everything
opposite of me. Not as an Oniwabanshuu member, but as you.
Misao.
You reach down for the tray and starts walking down towards my direction.
I suddenly become very aware of you. The time lengthens, your journey
seemingly forever as you balance the tray on your hands. I observe under
hooded eyes. Surprisingly, you are wearing your long hair in a simple
ponytail, not in your usual long braid. But still charming--no, beautiful,
nevertheless. I watch your hair swing gracefully from side to side, to the
sway of your hips, the long strides of your limbs, and until to the light steps
of your feet.
Remarkably, you are not wearing your ninja attire, but a simple light blue
short-sleeved yukata with a little knot securely tying the garment together,
and a pair of hem-folded shorts.
The garb seem... unfeminine, childish. But instead of seeing a child, I see
you. A woman. I know that now.
I suddenly feel different. It is so alien to me, and I cannot seem to tear my
gaze off you. I shouldn't be surprised. Every new emotion I feel is always
evoked by you. Only you.
"Ohayo, Aoshi-sama!" you greet me cheerfully. Your smile radiates as I
found you kneeling before me already.
Speechless. It seems that I cannot find my voice. Before the second
stretch awkwardly, I nod. Content with my comply, you begin with the tea.
I still watch you, gracefully executing the ritual, mesmerizing me.
How I wish to hold your hands in mine, and what's more, while I stare
drowningly in those beautiful blue depths.
::WHOA!!! Where the h*ll did that come from??? Oops! Sorry for interrupting ~_~;;::
So bizarre, thinking such thoughts. But giving in to these new emotions
within me has somehow let go a burden in my heart. But how it tempts me
to express these feelings into words.
Should I, or should I not?
Omasu suddenly call from the kitchen. You scuttle up as you excuse yourself
then turn around.
I don't want you to go, yet. Maybe I should tell you now?
I found your ribbon on the tray and instinctively reach out to your right arm,
"Wait Misao," I heard my voice, composed as ever.
Unbelievable.
I cannot bring myself to touch you. Not yet. Especially when you turn
around with a startled look in your face as you catch a glimpse of my
extended arm.
I start to pull back, but my hand suddenly has a will on its own as it traces
your delicate skin slowly, then finding itself on my lap again.
Just a trace, hardly a touch. Then you slightly blush.
The need becomes greater.
And so I reach for the ribbon.
"You left this," and hands the material to you. I purposefully touch your palm
with the tips of my fingers as you offer your hand.
A mere touch, nothing more. But how it burns my whole being!
Again, should I tell you now?
"And," I pause.
I search your eyes. I am lost.
"Thank you for the tea." Coward.
I can't help but give a small smile at you. A silent apology for my lack of
words.
But I never thought you will reward it with your own, only much more
sweetly. Then you turn and left.
In a daze, I watch you skip on the corridors back again behind those
screen doors. You pause for a moment, an overwhelming smile on your face,
then disappear.
I reach out for the steaming cup to take a sip. I contemplate with our
distance again.
A second away. Or even less.
owari
***
Shinomori Aoshi's POV
by dyosa :)
**Standard disclaimers apply.**
***
Without looking, I sense you standing behind the screen doors. I do not
need to look up and reassure myself for I am very receptive with your
presence. Especially your presence.
And so I calculate the distance between you and me.
Several miles away, at least.
But you are just there, behind the screen doors, and I, sitting here in this
room, without company. But I intend to let you be so many miles away.
Very far away from me.
I do not need you to get too close, for if I do... but no, I cannot let you.
My hands are sinfully stained. I have done selfish and unjust acts that are
unforgivable, dimming my already dark soul. And my heart--I do not even
know if I am still worthy to have a heart.
I was one of those remnants of a dark past that must remain dead in this
new era.
But you were always there, and I, the undeserving one, would always send
you away. I do not want to, but I have to.
You are young, blameless with an untainted soul and a chaste heart. I
want to protect what you have--something that I have lost so long ago.
That is why I protect you from me.
But it pains me so to push you away.
You are not looking at me anymore. I seize the chance to take a glance at
you, my curiosity winning over my will. You are solemnly looking at a tray on
the low table as you absently play with a gold fabric in your callused, but
exquisite, hands.
A light breeze passed by, and a wisp of black hair caresses your cheek.
I hold my breath. Capturing the image to be forever imprinted in my mind.
Your angelic face, your silken black tresses, those prussian blue eyes staring
thoughtfully in space.
But your eyes where emotions are ever present. The same emotions that I
struggle to be kept away. But you are never afraid to show them. It is
your strength, and I could never understand such things. I consider it as a
weakness, and to become a strong leader, I have become such as my state.
Unfeeling.
As I contemplate on the subject further, I found out you are everything
opposite of me. Not as an Oniwabanshuu member, but as you.
Misao.
You reach down for the tray and starts walking down towards my direction.
I suddenly become very aware of you. The time lengthens, your journey
seemingly forever as you balance the tray on your hands. I observe under
hooded eyes. Surprisingly, you are wearing your long hair in a simple
ponytail, not in your usual long braid. But still charming--no, beautiful,
nevertheless. I watch your hair swing gracefully from side to side, to the
sway of your hips, the long strides of your limbs, and until to the light steps
of your feet.
Remarkably, you are not wearing your ninja attire, but a simple light blue
short-sleeved yukata with a little knot securely tying the garment together,
and a pair of hem-folded shorts.
The garb seem... unfeminine, childish. But instead of seeing a child, I see
you. A woman. I know that now.
I suddenly feel different. It is so alien to me, and I cannot seem to tear my
gaze off you. I shouldn't be surprised. Every new emotion I feel is always
evoked by you. Only you.
"Ohayo, Aoshi-sama!" you greet me cheerfully. Your smile radiates as I
found you kneeling before me already.
Speechless. It seems that I cannot find my voice. Before the second
stretch awkwardly, I nod. Content with my comply, you begin with the tea.
I still watch you, gracefully executing the ritual, mesmerizing me.
How I wish to hold your hands in mine, and what's more, while I stare
drowningly in those beautiful blue depths.
::WHOA!!! Where the h*ll did that come from??? Oops! Sorry for interrupting ~_~;;::
So bizarre, thinking such thoughts. But giving in to these new emotions
within me has somehow let go a burden in my heart. But how it tempts me
to express these feelings into words.
Should I, or should I not?
Omasu suddenly call from the kitchen. You scuttle up as you excuse yourself
then turn around.
I don't want you to go, yet. Maybe I should tell you now?
I found your ribbon on the tray and instinctively reach out to your right arm,
"Wait Misao," I heard my voice, composed as ever.
Unbelievable.
I cannot bring myself to touch you. Not yet. Especially when you turn
around with a startled look in your face as you catch a glimpse of my
extended arm.
I start to pull back, but my hand suddenly has a will on its own as it traces
your delicate skin slowly, then finding itself on my lap again.
Just a trace, hardly a touch. Then you slightly blush.
The need becomes greater.
And so I reach for the ribbon.
"You left this," and hands the material to you. I purposefully touch your palm
with the tips of my fingers as you offer your hand.
A mere touch, nothing more. But how it burns my whole being!
Again, should I tell you now?
"And," I pause.
I search your eyes. I am lost.
"Thank you for the tea." Coward.
I can't help but give a small smile at you. A silent apology for my lack of
words.
But I never thought you will reward it with your own, only much more
sweetly. Then you turn and left.
In a daze, I watch you skip on the corridors back again behind those
screen doors. You pause for a moment, an overwhelming smile on your face,
then disappear.
I reach out for the steaming cup to take a sip. I contemplate with our
distance again.
A second away. Or even less.
owari
***