** A/N: Thank you so much to Little Lonely One and xtremlybold for
reviewing. Because this is such a personal thing it means so much that you
reviwed. Please feel free to do so again. Alys, I've tried to e-mail you
and it got sent back!-Kiera**
That night now only exsists as fragments in my mind that I sometimes revisit just because. I got drunk. Up until that point I wasn't a big drinker and had been drunk exactly once before. I was downing them pretty quickly and later one of my most vivid memories was sitting against the wall, smoking my first cigarette with Jeff trying desperatly to keep me sitting upright. The theme of the party was red and black and I was appropriatly dressed in a black shirt and my red mini skirt which I was desperatly in love with. Jeff took me back to his at ten, by this time I couldn't stand straight and I collapsed into his arms several times as we made our way down the street. It was raining. I remember feeling the rain on my face and trying to keep my head dry while linking arms with Jeff. I remember giggling mentally, for no reason and reailsing just how empty the streets where. My mind blacks out there and the next thing I remember is lying in his bed, the light was still on and I was in my underwear, the walls where spinning and Jeff was lying next to me. I remember him telling me he was going to take his shirt off, and me wondering why he'd only undone it. From then on, I don't remember anything. Not a single word or a single thing we did. You can imagine what happened I suppose. Jeff had to tell me the next day and he apologised to me, saying he'd taken advantage. I almost cried, I felt disgusted with myself in a way, and then, here's the really stupid part, I worried what Claire would think of me. Claire always seemed to have such high moral standards about this kind of thing and I was worried sick that she would think I was some kind of whore. See, that was how our friendship had worked and I never saw a problem with it until it was over. Claire was always in charge, everything we did she had to approve of first. God forbid if Claire Henry was unhappy, she'd take it out on me. There where always one set of rules for her, and another for me. Claire could ignore me, tease me, go out with other friends and not invite me. If I did there would be world war three. As you can imagine it wasn't a healthy friendship. Still, she had good points, lots of good points. No one shared my sense of humour, we could make up whole life stories for people just by hearing their name. We'd stay up all night and play 'The Sims', while shouting things like "die, bitch, die" as we killed a character for their money. It's hard to really pin point where it all started to fall apart. I'd say summer, when things got tough and she couldn't handle it. I still always truthfull believed we'd work it out. I'm an idiot.
~*~*~*~*~
It was the end of November, November 28th to be exact. Me and Jeff went Christmas shopping. We bought each other's present's last. I ended up waiting half an hour for him by the giant Christmas tree, anxiously tapping my foot and getting increasingly worried a gang of kids where going to steal my bags. I kept checking my watch and was beginning to think he wasn't coming back when he appeared through the horeds of people who'd all had the same idea.
"Sorry," he apologised. "The women behind the counter told me they'd sold what I wanted and I had to pick something else, then she found it and....you know."
"What is it?" I asked, knowing he wasn't going to tell me, but not caring.
He didn't tell me, but I didn't have to wait long. I twisted his arm back at his house, promising I'd give him is present if I could have mine. When he handed me a tiny blue box my heart started hammering against my ribs. The ring was white gold with two diamonds in the centre. Jeff took it off me, amoungst the mess on the floor of his bedroom he got down on one knee and proposed.He told me he'd never felt this way with anyone, that he loved me and he wanted me to marry me. I almost cried, I obviously said yes. We had it all planned out within a few days, mostly over text messages in which he told me he couldn't wait to be my husband and I had to hide from Claire. We hadn't been together long, but I didn't care. Nothing else mattered. I loved him, I was going to be his wife. Two weeks, Two weeks today and it would of all happened. But now I can see I'm starting to bore you and you've got the details you need. I loved Jeff, we where engaged and Claire, although we were close, treated me like crap. So let's move forewards, back to new year's eve.
That night now only exsists as fragments in my mind that I sometimes revisit just because. I got drunk. Up until that point I wasn't a big drinker and had been drunk exactly once before. I was downing them pretty quickly and later one of my most vivid memories was sitting against the wall, smoking my first cigarette with Jeff trying desperatly to keep me sitting upright. The theme of the party was red and black and I was appropriatly dressed in a black shirt and my red mini skirt which I was desperatly in love with. Jeff took me back to his at ten, by this time I couldn't stand straight and I collapsed into his arms several times as we made our way down the street. It was raining. I remember feeling the rain on my face and trying to keep my head dry while linking arms with Jeff. I remember giggling mentally, for no reason and reailsing just how empty the streets where. My mind blacks out there and the next thing I remember is lying in his bed, the light was still on and I was in my underwear, the walls where spinning and Jeff was lying next to me. I remember him telling me he was going to take his shirt off, and me wondering why he'd only undone it. From then on, I don't remember anything. Not a single word or a single thing we did. You can imagine what happened I suppose. Jeff had to tell me the next day and he apologised to me, saying he'd taken advantage. I almost cried, I felt disgusted with myself in a way, and then, here's the really stupid part, I worried what Claire would think of me. Claire always seemed to have such high moral standards about this kind of thing and I was worried sick that she would think I was some kind of whore. See, that was how our friendship had worked and I never saw a problem with it until it was over. Claire was always in charge, everything we did she had to approve of first. God forbid if Claire Henry was unhappy, she'd take it out on me. There where always one set of rules for her, and another for me. Claire could ignore me, tease me, go out with other friends and not invite me. If I did there would be world war three. As you can imagine it wasn't a healthy friendship. Still, she had good points, lots of good points. No one shared my sense of humour, we could make up whole life stories for people just by hearing their name. We'd stay up all night and play 'The Sims', while shouting things like "die, bitch, die" as we killed a character for their money. It's hard to really pin point where it all started to fall apart. I'd say summer, when things got tough and she couldn't handle it. I still always truthfull believed we'd work it out. I'm an idiot.
~*~*~*~*~
It was the end of November, November 28th to be exact. Me and Jeff went Christmas shopping. We bought each other's present's last. I ended up waiting half an hour for him by the giant Christmas tree, anxiously tapping my foot and getting increasingly worried a gang of kids where going to steal my bags. I kept checking my watch and was beginning to think he wasn't coming back when he appeared through the horeds of people who'd all had the same idea.
"Sorry," he apologised. "The women behind the counter told me they'd sold what I wanted and I had to pick something else, then she found it and....you know."
"What is it?" I asked, knowing he wasn't going to tell me, but not caring.
He didn't tell me, but I didn't have to wait long. I twisted his arm back at his house, promising I'd give him is present if I could have mine. When he handed me a tiny blue box my heart started hammering against my ribs. The ring was white gold with two diamonds in the centre. Jeff took it off me, amoungst the mess on the floor of his bedroom he got down on one knee and proposed.He told me he'd never felt this way with anyone, that he loved me and he wanted me to marry me. I almost cried, I obviously said yes. We had it all planned out within a few days, mostly over text messages in which he told me he couldn't wait to be my husband and I had to hide from Claire. We hadn't been together long, but I didn't care. Nothing else mattered. I loved him, I was going to be his wife. Two weeks, Two weeks today and it would of all happened. But now I can see I'm starting to bore you and you've got the details you need. I loved Jeff, we where engaged and Claire, although we were close, treated me like crap. So let's move forewards, back to new year's eve.