"This is Linda Brown with a CNN special report. The body of a twenty five
year old girl was found outside a New York apartment building. Police DNA
testing has revealed the corpse to be Xing Yi, a Chinese orphan who
disappeared from her orphanage, along with eighteen other girls and three
boys, twenty years ago. However, police are questioning the accuracy of
their machinery, as Xing was born with black eyes, while the discovered
body's eyes are blue. Disappearances like Xing's have been occurring in
poorer orphanages around the world for years. Watch 'News at Nine' for
further updates."
The man known only as Bridge turned off the television and frowned at the shivering scientist beside him. "When I said to dispose of the body, I meant to destroy it, not leave it where someone could find it. This is your second strike, Five. Fail me again, and you'll be struck out." The frightened man scurried out of the room, while Bridge rubbed his temples. A sharp beep from the console at the back of the darkened room signified the arrival of the potential customers.
The twenty one teenagers were brought, drugged, into the "awakening" room. He waited for fifteen minutes while the teenagers shook off the last effects of the drug. "Welcome to your dream," he said. "I am here to help you with creation of your story. Welcome to the Mary Sue Training Facility." A couple of the girls now started to protest, but Bridge stopped them by raising his hand. "Now I know you don't think your main characters are Mary Sues, but intelligence has shown that they are. No questions until the end of the tour."
He turned and exited the room, and after a short, confused pause, the gaggle of girls (and, ironically, three boys), ran to catch up. "This first room is the sorting room. This is our first stop for the girls and boys who will one day be the greatest characters in your stories. Potential Sues are tested to find their natural strengths and weaknesses." The writers looked through the two way mirror, to see children of every nationality reading, fighting, or dressing up.
Following the first room, he passed by a door that was strangely silent. Answering the curious looks directed towards the room, Bridge told them, "You wouldn't want to see that room. That is where we create loyalty and obedience. Often, first timers can't stomach the procedure, for some reason." Leading them into a large room with large cubical Plexiglas boxes lining the wall, he introduced it as training room. "Today, those who are being trained are the Minds. These are the gifted in psychic powers and prophecy. Additionally, down the far corridor, we have the special talents, where we train those with telekinesis, weather control, powers of flight, and other superpowers. Special powers are trained constantly, as their powers are more potent, and therefore more difficult to control."
"After they are fully trained, the Sues are sent to be produced. In this department, their physical attributes are assessed and maximized. Ah, we're in luck. You are about to watch a complete transformation from the start." Pushing a button on a remote control, he referred to a console on a wall. He read aloud, "Number: Y74, Intended Continuum: Lord of the Rings or a Lord of the Rings Crossover, Intended Race: Elf." He silently turned as the blank eyed girl sat in a chair and gripped the arms. A team of people in white lab coats entered the room and started working on the girl. The chair flipped back into a bed, and a machine pulled the girl until she was a couple of inches taller. Meanwhile, her hair was dyed and straightened, and eye drops were put in her still unblinking eyes. Her feet were put in a strange machine, and another machine was clamped over her ears. "She will be put in a chamber for several weeks, possibly months, to fully transform. Our longest transformation was one year. She will then be either sent immediately into a story, or brought into this next room."
The next room was a large room, all cement and steel, but filled with Plexiglas cylinders. "This," Bridge told them, gesturing to the cylinders, "is our storage room. When a Sue is made perfect, he or she is brought into this room to await entry into a story. Here they are finally complete." The platform that they were standing on began to move. "Directly below us now is the Lord of the Rings sector. Most of these Sues are elves, but some are Maia, Hobbits, Humans, and there are even some Dwarves. Next, we have the Harry Potter sector. As you can see by the large size of some of the cylinders, we have some giants and half giants, in addition to regular students from every country. In the Pirates of the Caribbean sector, containing Whores, citizens of Port Royal, and Pirates. The pride and joy of this sector are the look-alikes, who are skilled at kidnapping their lead characters and imprisoning them in plot holes." At this, a murmur of understanding came from one girl, who had been looking curiously at the many Jack Sparrows floating harmlessly in their cylinders. "There are too many fandoms to show at this time, so I have just shown you the most popular of them. Within each fandom there are Minds, Hearts, Muscles, and Twins. As we are at the end of the tour, are there any questions before you are sent back to reality?"
One girl tentatively raised her hand. "Um, excuse me, sir, but, like, how are we going to pay?" He chuckled, somehow making this condescending and understanding at the same time. "Your Sues are paid for by the corporate sponsors of your fan fiction sites. Only the longest time customers – those who know about this facility in their conscious minds – pay for their Sues themselves."
Another girl emboldened by the first girl's success, asked, "Well, what if the PPC, like, um, you know..." Bridge sighed. "Our supply of Sues is nearly inexhaustible. If your original Sue is terminated, without following your storyline, we will automatically supply another. It's in the warranty."
No more questions were asked, so Bridge motioned the teenagers into a final room. They would be drugged again, of course, and brought back to their bedrooms, and would have no memory of the tour. Bridge closed the door behind them, and descended the steel steps. He felt older than ever as he weaved his way through the forest of his creations. A single, dust covered cylinder was his target, and as he carefully wiped the dust off the glass, he looked upon a thirty year old woman, eyes closed peacefully. "Sweet dreams, my Anna. Wherever you are."
The man known only as Bridge turned off the television and frowned at the shivering scientist beside him. "When I said to dispose of the body, I meant to destroy it, not leave it where someone could find it. This is your second strike, Five. Fail me again, and you'll be struck out." The frightened man scurried out of the room, while Bridge rubbed his temples. A sharp beep from the console at the back of the darkened room signified the arrival of the potential customers.
The twenty one teenagers were brought, drugged, into the "awakening" room. He waited for fifteen minutes while the teenagers shook off the last effects of the drug. "Welcome to your dream," he said. "I am here to help you with creation of your story. Welcome to the Mary Sue Training Facility." A couple of the girls now started to protest, but Bridge stopped them by raising his hand. "Now I know you don't think your main characters are Mary Sues, but intelligence has shown that they are. No questions until the end of the tour."
He turned and exited the room, and after a short, confused pause, the gaggle of girls (and, ironically, three boys), ran to catch up. "This first room is the sorting room. This is our first stop for the girls and boys who will one day be the greatest characters in your stories. Potential Sues are tested to find their natural strengths and weaknesses." The writers looked through the two way mirror, to see children of every nationality reading, fighting, or dressing up.
Following the first room, he passed by a door that was strangely silent. Answering the curious looks directed towards the room, Bridge told them, "You wouldn't want to see that room. That is where we create loyalty and obedience. Often, first timers can't stomach the procedure, for some reason." Leading them into a large room with large cubical Plexiglas boxes lining the wall, he introduced it as training room. "Today, those who are being trained are the Minds. These are the gifted in psychic powers and prophecy. Additionally, down the far corridor, we have the special talents, where we train those with telekinesis, weather control, powers of flight, and other superpowers. Special powers are trained constantly, as their powers are more potent, and therefore more difficult to control."
"After they are fully trained, the Sues are sent to be produced. In this department, their physical attributes are assessed and maximized. Ah, we're in luck. You are about to watch a complete transformation from the start." Pushing a button on a remote control, he referred to a console on a wall. He read aloud, "Number: Y74, Intended Continuum: Lord of the Rings or a Lord of the Rings Crossover, Intended Race: Elf." He silently turned as the blank eyed girl sat in a chair and gripped the arms. A team of people in white lab coats entered the room and started working on the girl. The chair flipped back into a bed, and a machine pulled the girl until she was a couple of inches taller. Meanwhile, her hair was dyed and straightened, and eye drops were put in her still unblinking eyes. Her feet were put in a strange machine, and another machine was clamped over her ears. "She will be put in a chamber for several weeks, possibly months, to fully transform. Our longest transformation was one year. She will then be either sent immediately into a story, or brought into this next room."
The next room was a large room, all cement and steel, but filled with Plexiglas cylinders. "This," Bridge told them, gesturing to the cylinders, "is our storage room. When a Sue is made perfect, he or she is brought into this room to await entry into a story. Here they are finally complete." The platform that they were standing on began to move. "Directly below us now is the Lord of the Rings sector. Most of these Sues are elves, but some are Maia, Hobbits, Humans, and there are even some Dwarves. Next, we have the Harry Potter sector. As you can see by the large size of some of the cylinders, we have some giants and half giants, in addition to regular students from every country. In the Pirates of the Caribbean sector, containing Whores, citizens of Port Royal, and Pirates. The pride and joy of this sector are the look-alikes, who are skilled at kidnapping their lead characters and imprisoning them in plot holes." At this, a murmur of understanding came from one girl, who had been looking curiously at the many Jack Sparrows floating harmlessly in their cylinders. "There are too many fandoms to show at this time, so I have just shown you the most popular of them. Within each fandom there are Minds, Hearts, Muscles, and Twins. As we are at the end of the tour, are there any questions before you are sent back to reality?"
One girl tentatively raised her hand. "Um, excuse me, sir, but, like, how are we going to pay?" He chuckled, somehow making this condescending and understanding at the same time. "Your Sues are paid for by the corporate sponsors of your fan fiction sites. Only the longest time customers – those who know about this facility in their conscious minds – pay for their Sues themselves."
Another girl emboldened by the first girl's success, asked, "Well, what if the PPC, like, um, you know..." Bridge sighed. "Our supply of Sues is nearly inexhaustible. If your original Sue is terminated, without following your storyline, we will automatically supply another. It's in the warranty."
No more questions were asked, so Bridge motioned the teenagers into a final room. They would be drugged again, of course, and brought back to their bedrooms, and would have no memory of the tour. Bridge closed the door behind them, and descended the steel steps. He felt older than ever as he weaved his way through the forest of his creations. A single, dust covered cylinder was his target, and as he carefully wiped the dust off the glass, he looked upon a thirty year old woman, eyes closed peacefully. "Sweet dreams, my Anna. Wherever you are."