"So, what's on your mind?" asked Devi, spotting Johnny sitting on the couch beside the sleeping Todd. Devi had been trying to distance herself from him the whole day, focusing more on Todd, to give herself time to think of how to approach him. But seeing him there, sitting protectively over the boy with that same look on his face...
"You brought back so many memories, Devi... seeing you taking care of Todd today. Memories of my mom and dad..." he said quietly, trying not to disturb the boy's slumber.
"You never did tell me about your parents," Devi said, sitting down beside him. Johnny squeezed his eyes shut, and Devi had the distinct feeling that she wasn't going to hear a happy story.
"They were both killed one night. I don't remember them much, but I have a clear memory of our last night together. There was a riot one night, when I was about seven years old. We lived upstairs from my dad's business, and he was downstairs with a gun, protecting his store. I was afraid, but Mom was humming a song to keep me from crying. I don't remember the words to it, but I remember the tune. Suddenly we heard the window break, and gunshots. He got Dad. Mom heard the man coming up the stairs and she hid me in the other room, she told me I would be safe if I stayed there until I heard police sirens. Then she left to try to get help. But then I heard her screaming, and then a gunshot a few minutes later. Then the man came upstairs- I remember how he looked. Like a fat, dirty pig. He heard the sirens coming, and he ran away. Then I went downstairs and saw Mom- she was all bloody and her clothes were all ripped up. Dad had been shot worse- he was full of holes- but Mom had obviously been raped. I went to the police, but they couldn't do anything, they were too busy beating on random people in the streets. That fucking asshole who killed them... he didn't even want anything from the store..." Johnny said through gritted teeth, choking back a sob as emotions long buried were dredged up. Devi was horrified by his story. She was a sympathetic person, and she reached an arm out to him. Johnny's first impulse was to avoid the touch. He jerked away a bit, but after the initial reaction, he steeled himself to let her make contact. Devi, however, had taken the hint, and drew her hand back without touching.
"I'm... glad I talked to you about this..." he said, turning away. Devi stood up, about to leave.
"Well, it's getting late. We can talk about this more in the morning, if you want..." she whispered. Johnny sat there like a chunk of stone, afraid to talk or do anything lest he turn into a blubbering idiot. Devi walked away, but waited just around the corner, watching him. After a moment of silence, Johnny turned to Todd.
"Don't worry, Squee. I won't lose you or Devi," he murmured softly to the peacefully sleeping child. He took the child in his arms and began rocking side to side, crooning a soft, soothing lullaby. Todd woke up from the sudden motion and looked up at the tear-streaked face. Johnny didn't notice though, he was too lost in thought. The boy said nothing though, sensing that he was more of a comfort to Johnny than the other way around, and simply let himself be rocked. In some way, he knew that he was helping to soothe Johnny's lonely, aching heart. He soon fell asleep again, feeling safe and secure for the first time since he could remember.
Devi, who had been watching the whole time, was completely shocked by this. She had no idea how long Johnny had been without love or companionship, and how much his heart ached for it. Even his attempt on her life was to "immortalize the moment", to capture her forever in her beauty so she would never leave him. She could have appreciated the sentiment, if only he hadn't tried to kill her, but now she saw Johnny for what he was- an achingly lonely person who was reaching out for love. Too bad he can't see it himself, she thought, tiptoeing away to her room.
After a time, Johnny went out onto the balcony and stared up at the stars. He burst into fresh tears, finally able to mourn his parents properly and come to terms with his grief. He buried his head in his hands and cried aloud for the first time since his parents died. He pounded the railing with an angry fist, his wails muffled by his arm. He sat out there in the cold, grieving for his parents for a while. Then more angry howls rent the air as he released all of his anger, sadness, and pent-up emotions he had gathered over the years, and everything was escaping with unstoppabe momentum. After a few last rasping, choking breaths, he gathered himself up and stood shakily for a few moments. Finally, sobbing and hiccoughing, he wiped his eyes and turned to go back inside. He was emotionally drained and tired from his catharsis, and he lay down on a larger couch. His breath slowed down, his red, swollen eyes became heavy, and his head seemed to sink into the pillow. With a last glance at Todd, a soft smile crossed his face and he closed his eyes, drifting into a peaceful sleep.
"You brought back so many memories, Devi... seeing you taking care of Todd today. Memories of my mom and dad..." he said quietly, trying not to disturb the boy's slumber.
"You never did tell me about your parents," Devi said, sitting down beside him. Johnny squeezed his eyes shut, and Devi had the distinct feeling that she wasn't going to hear a happy story.
"They were both killed one night. I don't remember them much, but I have a clear memory of our last night together. There was a riot one night, when I was about seven years old. We lived upstairs from my dad's business, and he was downstairs with a gun, protecting his store. I was afraid, but Mom was humming a song to keep me from crying. I don't remember the words to it, but I remember the tune. Suddenly we heard the window break, and gunshots. He got Dad. Mom heard the man coming up the stairs and she hid me in the other room, she told me I would be safe if I stayed there until I heard police sirens. Then she left to try to get help. But then I heard her screaming, and then a gunshot a few minutes later. Then the man came upstairs- I remember how he looked. Like a fat, dirty pig. He heard the sirens coming, and he ran away. Then I went downstairs and saw Mom- she was all bloody and her clothes were all ripped up. Dad had been shot worse- he was full of holes- but Mom had obviously been raped. I went to the police, but they couldn't do anything, they were too busy beating on random people in the streets. That fucking asshole who killed them... he didn't even want anything from the store..." Johnny said through gritted teeth, choking back a sob as emotions long buried were dredged up. Devi was horrified by his story. She was a sympathetic person, and she reached an arm out to him. Johnny's first impulse was to avoid the touch. He jerked away a bit, but after the initial reaction, he steeled himself to let her make contact. Devi, however, had taken the hint, and drew her hand back without touching.
"I'm... glad I talked to you about this..." he said, turning away. Devi stood up, about to leave.
"Well, it's getting late. We can talk about this more in the morning, if you want..." she whispered. Johnny sat there like a chunk of stone, afraid to talk or do anything lest he turn into a blubbering idiot. Devi walked away, but waited just around the corner, watching him. After a moment of silence, Johnny turned to Todd.
"Don't worry, Squee. I won't lose you or Devi," he murmured softly to the peacefully sleeping child. He took the child in his arms and began rocking side to side, crooning a soft, soothing lullaby. Todd woke up from the sudden motion and looked up at the tear-streaked face. Johnny didn't notice though, he was too lost in thought. The boy said nothing though, sensing that he was more of a comfort to Johnny than the other way around, and simply let himself be rocked. In some way, he knew that he was helping to soothe Johnny's lonely, aching heart. He soon fell asleep again, feeling safe and secure for the first time since he could remember.
Devi, who had been watching the whole time, was completely shocked by this. She had no idea how long Johnny had been without love or companionship, and how much his heart ached for it. Even his attempt on her life was to "immortalize the moment", to capture her forever in her beauty so she would never leave him. She could have appreciated the sentiment, if only he hadn't tried to kill her, but now she saw Johnny for what he was- an achingly lonely person who was reaching out for love. Too bad he can't see it himself, she thought, tiptoeing away to her room.
After a time, Johnny went out onto the balcony and stared up at the stars. He burst into fresh tears, finally able to mourn his parents properly and come to terms with his grief. He buried his head in his hands and cried aloud for the first time since his parents died. He pounded the railing with an angry fist, his wails muffled by his arm. He sat out there in the cold, grieving for his parents for a while. Then more angry howls rent the air as he released all of his anger, sadness, and pent-up emotions he had gathered over the years, and everything was escaping with unstoppabe momentum. After a few last rasping, choking breaths, he gathered himself up and stood shakily for a few moments. Finally, sobbing and hiccoughing, he wiped his eyes and turned to go back inside. He was emotionally drained and tired from his catharsis, and he lay down on a larger couch. His breath slowed down, his red, swollen eyes became heavy, and his head seemed to sink into the pillow. With a last glance at Todd, a soft smile crossed his face and he closed his eyes, drifting into a peaceful sleep.