Part V - Words which Converted to Pain

Inuyasha's ears twitched. It sounded exactly like Kagome. ' She's in danger.. ' Without any hesitation, he ran like a wolf against the wind.

' I'm not losing her again. Not now, not ever. '

Following her intoxicating scent, he made a few turns and straight to the cliff. Inuyasha paused, wondering why she would come to such an isolated place. Second by second, her fragile fingers were slipping away. And right away Inuyasha eyes caught them.

Kagome, losing her grip, was just about to fall. Luckily he jumped down to the ground, sliding to the edge of the cliff, catching her wrist after letting out her scream. Inuyasha rushed to pull her up onto the safe ground and held her in his arms.

Kagome looked so terrified. She was there, about to lose her life, a life that was never completed. Although, this was what she wanted before, and yet Inuyasha had no clue.

It felt like hours. They sat there, so close together. Kagome couldn't think. All there was to do was..shiver..in fear, in horror, in sadness. Little rivers of tears suddenly streamed down her pale cheek.

***

It was already nightfall. We haven't talked since this morning and I'm starting to worry about him. What is he thinking?

He hasn't even made a move from his corner of the hut. I, myself, was just trying to prepare for his yelling and yapping. I bet he's about to ask me what I was doing by the cliff.

"What exactly were you doing there?" I knew it...I really had no intention in telling him because I know he isn't going to understand. No one would.

"I wanted some fresh air. You don't expect me to stay in a small hut like this to rot away, now do you?" I couldn't thick of anything else to say. And for that moment I hoped that he would just believe it.

"And let me guess. The edge of the cliff started to crack and you nearly fell with it." He said in a sarcastic voice.

I slightly nodded.

"Do you really think I would fall for that excuse?!" He yelled across the room. With that short echo, it followed with a sigh. "There is something wrong. I know it. Why is it you wont tell me?"

I was silent...and I was planning to stay that way.

Inuyasha turned his head to me, trying to look into my eyes. Of course I had to look away. I know he would see the pain in its depths.

"Kagome, what's bothering you?" His voice was so calm and soft, as if he was so concerned of my feelings.

"Nothing 's wrong." I said bluntly.

"Cut the shit, Kagome. Why did you say you were alone when I'm right here? And how long are you planning to stay here?"

"What are you trying to say? You don't want me here?!" My eyes started to get red. I could feel the burning sensation. I don't know how I'm starting to feel. But I felt a sharp pain in my heart.

"I didn't say that. I just wanted to know since you brought that." He pointed to my luggage. The luggage that was full of all my shit - clothes, make-up, dozens of shampoo. It's all a waste. I wouldn't be able to wear those clothes anyways, since everyone would think it's typically bizarre. I don't even know why I brought them along.

It became silent once again. I didn't want to answer his question and I think he knew I didn't want to. So I just thought of a dumb way to get away from his questions.

"I'm going for a walk." I stood up and headed for the door. I didn't what to tell him anything...because I know he just wouldn't understand.

"Dammit, Kagome! Can you fucking answer my question already! Stop trying to avoid this subject!"

I felt my face heat up. The tone of his voice and the rudest way he asked me made me angry. I clutched my hand into a fist and let out what was in my heart --- the pain that was bottled up for days. As you can already see...I couldn't hold that amount of pain inside any longer

"I'm staying here forever, OK! Are you happy now!" I felt sick to my stomach. Maybe I yelled a little too loud.  "The only reason why I need to stay here is 'cause I lost what's closest to me! I lost Sota and mom and grandpa! Everything was taken away! They were all...murdered.." My voice suddenly cracked. Even if I felt a huge lump forming in my throat I continued anyway. "And when I said I was alone, it's because I am! Yeah, you're right here in front of me but you're never there for me emotionally! Anyways I wouldn't expect that from you, anyways. You wouldn't care. Because you don't. The only reason why you always saved me from danger is because you needed me for that damn jewel you didn't even get to use! Selfish little bastard. All you cared about was yourself and a stupid person who is already dead!"

I was panting and gasping for air because all those words took every inch of my strength. And so the usual happened. My knees met the floor and I, with hot burning eyes, covered my face in disgrace and humiliation. And after explaining everything to Inuyasha I realized myself that I should have completed my plan by the cliff. I should have made that fall so that I can end everything thing that I went through.

I wiped my eyes and began speaking with the last of my strength. "I should have just got it over with. Dammit, why did you have to come and save me? You...YOU should have just stayed out of my way!" I was down on my knees, continuing what I have been doing for the past few days. Crying...that's what I'm good for. And when I would finally lift my head up, I saw pain in his eyes. Maybe that was too much for him. Maybe it was too much for me...I don't have the slightest idea but all I know is...I've done damage to both of us…even if it was mere words.

Inuyasha closed his eyes. Probably to hide his pain. "You were there...to kill yourself." He paused. "That isn't a way to escape your pain. That shows weakness." And suddenly his voice became strong again.

"Well, that's easy for you to say. Like you said before...humans are weak. And that's what I am Inuyasha. I'm a human. I'm weak. Even...even the first time I met you, I can see it in your eyes that you considered me as a little helpless human who couldn't take care of herself." I took a deep breath to relieve my pain. "What do you care anyways? It's not like you even care about how I feel. Just...just stay away from me! I don't need you!" I was on my way out the door, still with wet tears streaming down my hot cheeks.

"Who ever told you I didn't care!? Are you blind? All this time I've been saving your ass from danger and I still am! And if I didn't care about you then I would have left you suffering a long time a --"

I interrupted. "You needed me for the shards! I'm not that stupid to not notice that, Inuyasha!"

And with that he started to get very irritated. "You don't know what's going on in my mind! Every minute, every second I worried about your safety!"

I hesitated. I stopped every muscle from moving. And the past suddenly overcame me. All the times he saved me and yet all the times he hurt me. I felt like my heart stopped beating. But if only it actually happened. I wish I couldn't feel emotions...Emotions toward Inuyasha...

"Then...why didn't you worry about my feelings? Why did you continue loving Kikyo...instead of...me?" It was unbelievable. I felt so dizzy with all the thoughts that went through my head.

I still had my back facing him. I couldn't see his expression but he was silent. I know he was surprised...I know I made a fool out of myself. He doesn't love me back...but...at least I tried.

A/N: Dear lord. How long has it been since I updated? Sorry for such a long wait. I guess I've gotten lazy for the past...I don't know. Two months? I didn't really care much about continuing since I haven't gotten reviews from anyone. But I guess a story isn't a story without an ending. I still have to think about one though. And I still want to fit in some LEMON in this story of mine. Unless you think it's unnecessary. Tell me what you think or what is on your mind about this story! Review! Inspire me to continue! Otherwise I guess I might have to give up.